How was it before the internet?

[juno]

I am in my 40s, and have always enjoyed feminine things, with no shame or regrets, but only recently got into doing the full crossdressing thing. Maybe I would have started sooner if I knew how common it is. There are so many people afraid to come out that I can't help think that it was incredibly difficult before the internet. Surely, many people went through life wondering why they like crossdressing, never meeting or even knowing of other CDers.

The internet is such an awesome networking tool for minority groups. I look forward to newer generations of crossdressers growing up feeling good about themselves, and the generally public, especially parents, realizing that it is not all that weird. It makes me feel good to see all of the people here openly sharing, many with web sites dedicated to crossdressing.

I didn't crossdress as a child, but liked to playe with girl dolls and nail polish. My parents were very open, so I never felt bad about it, but often wondered how many people out there were like me. It would be great to hear comments from some of the older crossdressers how the internet changed your life for the better.

Juno

[CallMeMeg]

The biggest difference is, I know I'm not the only one. When I was a child I thought I was the absolute only boy who wanted to dress as or be a girl. It's a very lonely feeling.

I bet others had the same experience. And now there's
a transgender camp for kids (http://www.slate.com/id/2261929?xs_wp_0001)!

[Maryesther M.]

For me two things came more or less together: One was digital photography, the other was the Internet.
Up till then I had managed only to acquire a couple of short skirts and some pantyhose. I photographed my lower half in these and had to have the photos developed by sending them away to a developing & printing service.

Before the internet; purchasing of wigs, breast forms, fitting femm clothes and shoes was impossible, as these items in my sizes are not available in the shops.
The advent of digital photography and the ability to download pics. onto a computer utterly changed everything in that department, too.

[Tina B.]

I'm 66, and I have to say I grew up in the wilderness. I started dressing as best I remember, around 6 or 7 years old. From then until I was in my early twenty's before I ever heard the word transvestite, and then when I did, I tried to look it up in a old dictionary I had. Websters didn't have that word. I was able to find trans- to cross over and I found vest-an article of clothing. From there I put it together myself, and found I was not alone in this world. then I started going to adult bookstores, the only place you could find anything on the subject.
It was a very lonely place out here.
Tina B.

[kellycan27]

There was was a time before the internet? Shut up! you're kidding right?:heehee:

[anonymousinmaryland]

I'm glad people here are openly sharing, many with web sites dedicated to crossdressing. Growing up and gaining knowledge as to the whereabouts of material dedicated to this was difficult. I feel better knowing there are a million other guys out there just like me.

[Angiemead12]

I'm thankful I can be me online. I love this virtual world of mine. :hugs:
I would have really lost it if not for the internet. :love:

[Shiny]

I started back in the 60's and knew it was a "different" behavior. I knew it was forbidden and never mentioned it, and, thought I was the only one in the world who was into such a thing since it was so strange! This site is pretty amazing and over the years I came to learn that there's lots and lots of our type out here.

Also, back in the mid 60's, ladies fashions were still echoing the 50's styles! I spent countless hours perusing all the main catalogs of the day, Wards, Sears, Pennies etc... and went mad wishing I could just sit down and order what I wanted, all that great vintage lingerie, the petticoats, the dresses, the "real" nylon stockings. It was all there in the stores and catalogs back then but how could a 10 year old kid ever go into a ladies store for clothes or dare order from a catalog? It didn't happen. It's too bad all those great fashions are gone now. With the internet and online shopping for everything under the sun it's easy to shop now--just nothing to buy.

[Deborah]

Lonely....very lonely. Glad to find there are others. :)

[Tommie T.]

I agree with Deborah.It was lonely.I always thought I must be the only one cding which caused lots of self doubt etc.I'm so pleased to be a member of this group and meeting so many others that support this complicated thing we all are experiencing.Thank you all for being my friends. Tommie

[Charleen]

The term "Dark Ages" comes to mind! As been said, it was a very lonely confusing time.

[tanyalynn51]

Lonely....very lonely. Glad to find there are others. :)

That was my first thought, Deborah. I think I would be a lot further along in being who I am if I has known how many other people are out there, and also what I have learned, especially here.

[5150 Girl]

Before the WWW, I felt alone, and like a freak. I was afraid to go out.
I do still feel a sence of lonliness from a regional standpoint. THre just are to many people here in redneck county willing to step up.

[Miss Misery]

I agree with most of the other "oldies" here. I also started young, thought I was the only one,except when you saw folks in drag like Flip Wilson on TV.

Another benefit of the internet, IMHO, is the ability to find and buy women's stuff online. More comfortable for us "wimps" to get some nice clothes/ shoes that fit etc. Thank you Al Gore - hah ha.

[suzy1]

To be able to shop on ebay. Its now so easy to get all the girly things without dying of embarrassment at the counter.

SUZY

[jenna_woods]

for me with out the internet I always thought I was all alone, and something was wrong with me , now I know there are many like me and I understand it a lot better and can acept who I am,

[Christineblake113]

While I knew I wasn't the only CD in the world, I had no way to contact any others to discuss things like shoes, clothes, and stuff like that. So I'd say it was lonely in that respect.

Christine

[sandra-leigh]

Rocky Horror was around by my mid teens, and even though it would be a few years before I was old enough to watch it, it was part of the cultural ambiance.

Not that I have ever identified as a "transvestite" like Frank'N'Furter, but it at least showed that there were other people around, no matter how odd.

[christiek]

I was typing for like 30 min str8 and all of a sudden it decided to re-log me in deleting everything. More or less . . . The internet saved me in every way it seems. I wouldnt be who I am now without it. I cant even Imagine what it was like without it. Im glad you all are here now tho! -Christie!

[Chickhe]

Before the internet there was dial-up and BBS sites. I would say the dividing line was maybe computers instead of the internet, but before then all I had was a book or two at the local library to read about it and my own thoughts...very tough not having any support and thinking I was alone. For a while the internet was like free candy, but once you get over the novelty it has been a great resource and place to go for self-help support.

[kellycan27]

I was typing for like 30 min str8 and all of a sudden it decided to re-log me in deleting everything. More or less . . . The internet saved me in every way it seems. I wouldnt be who I am now without it. I cant even Imagine what it was like without it. Im glad you all are here now tho! -Christie!

Next time you sign in remember to check the box marked..remember me.

[Sarah Doepner]

Before the internet I looked in the library and found nothing. I looked in the magazines that were available and found nothing. When I finally heard stories of Transvestites they were described as being either deviant or targets for groups of young men to beat up in dark corners of the park. Christine Jorgensen was the only semi acceptable example of someone who crossed gender lines and she did it by being transexual. And the only men wearing women's clothing and not being criticized were Television comics and they were laughed at.

As a flegeling crossdresser I had no fashion role models other than women, and no resources that weren't meant primarily for women, not that that's bad, just not exactly what this boy needed. And I knew of no safe way to find someone like myself. As the others have said, not only was it a very lonely time, but we lived in an information vacuum as well. I found what I thought was the best solution for some of my problems, but they were far from what I can call on now.

Now I have a community that isn't limited to the internet, but was founded on that resource. Now I have tools and techniques in my bag of tricks that were developed to help me build my confidence as a crossdresser. Now I have a life that is more in balance and not bathed in guilt, misperceptions and outright lies.

Yeah, I'd say things are a little better now.

[Paisley GG]

I think this a lovely thread to learn what it was like

but to also see that progress is being made...

The first time I came out was as a lesbian....it was stil a dirtyword and it was someone would know someone who could point you in the direction of the community (no internet then, so I can certainly relate to that aloneness.

[Teri Jean]

Kelly you silly girl, there was a time when I did my homework for highschool (sixth grade) by candle light because they hadn't perfected lamps yet. LOL

The internet did give a look into the world we did not realize and in a sense empowered as well as comforted those with a knowledge we are not alone. For me it was the way to self diagnose and then connect with others here to help me find my way to my path of transition. And to that thank you all, including a sweet young sister Kelly. :-)

Teri

[Victoria Anne]

I was born in 1960 and started to dress to some dgree or another at about 3-4 years old . I could not understand why I wanted to be a girl or play other girls and dolls , I grew up thinking I was a freak and then learning I was not alone , there are others like me ! I felt better somehow and now with this site and a few other support systems ... well here I am on this road called transition !

[Eve_WA]

Before the internet I looked in the library and found nothing. I looked in the magazines that were available and found nothing. When I finally heard stories of Transvestites they were described as being either deviant or targets for groups of young men to beat up in dark corners of the park. ...
Now I have a community that isn't limited to the internet, but was founded on that resource. Now I have tools and techniques in my bag of tricks that were developed to help me build my confidence as a crossdresser. Now I have a life that is more in balance and not bathed in guilt, misperceptions and outright lies.

Yeah, I'd say things are a little better now.

WHAT SHE SAID!! Couldnt have said it better myself!

[Farrah]

Honestly, before the internet, i felt like i was the only person that cd'd...I just thought that I had to be gay...However, I really wasn't attracted to guys....To make a long story short, I was simply confused!! Thanks internet, for shedding light and introducing me to others like me!!

[Rondalake]

I still remember a my time before the internet. I thought I was the only boy that liked girl things. My parents were very strict so I had to hide the few things I had. Untill the internet I still felt I was alone.

Hugs,
Roni L.

[sissystephanie]

Being in my late 70's, I know that I am one of the oldest CD's on this forum. And I have been doing it since way before the Internet, since I started at age 6!

As others have stated, I read books and magazines to get information. But it really wasn't until the Internet that I began to learn Gender problems and how they can affect one!

I wish I had joined this Forum much earlier, but my late wife and I had a very happy life even without it. Since she fully supported my CD life, I know she would have enjoyed the Forum as much as I do!

[Nicole Erin]

No secret the web has made finding info WAY easier...
But back when there was none, going back further let us say - before even the 80s, wasn't there any kind of role model or indication of TG'ism?

I am a child of the 80's, and the first time I saw or heard of TG'ism was when Culture Club came out, and Boy George dressed en femme. I actually made the mistake of telling my best friend back then that I thought Boy George was pretty. :doh:

I remember my first real education on TG'ism, when I was 23, around maybe 1998 (before I got on the web) was I found a couple issues of some old TG magazine called "ladylike" and "Transformation".
Ladylike was tasteful, Transformation was more of the "playboy" of TS mags.

[Paisley GG]

I was thinking a bit more about this and I think "you" as a community are at, or close to the stage when you need to reclaim the words, labels and/or language that have been used to describe you.

In that reclaiming comes the power of reinterpetating the meaning....

Words hold a lot of power! Ask anyone who has been called lesbo, fag, nigger, fatty, Injan and so on.

Being a cross dresser is not a perversion, but is an expression of a facet of one's personality. But then this not up to me to decide this...;

[Barbara Jo]

Yes, it was lonely and confusing, partriculary for someone like me who grew up in the '50s.
For a long time I really didn't know exactly what I was.
All we had was basically some Porno publications that furher confused the isue.

However, there were a few early pionerrs in the field like Vaginia Prince (who I met BTW, she was a nice lady) who wrote some informative literature.

[kimdl93]

Hey, I'm in my 40's too...but still remember "pre interenet" cross dressing. For me it was a lonelier existence - I certainly never imagined being part of such a large community!

[Genie234]

with everyone about how isolated and alone it felt. When I was in my early teens (the mid-60's) I *knew* that I felt better in girls clothing. But that was also totally unacceptable in my family. By my 20's I was suppressing the feelings. The internet has helped me to understand that while I'm not typical, I'm not nuts either.

Genie

[Toni_Lynn]

To tell you the truth, a lot of what I see on the 'net today would have scared me silly about being a CDer. So in that sense I'm glad it wasn't around when I started.

And therein is a good point. I started CDing without the influence of any media. It was simply what I wanted to do. It was right for me.

Actually, if any 'media' influenced me, it was the Sears, Penneys, and Montgomery Ward catalogues!

When I first started CDing on a daily basis with my own clothes, I was 13. The only literature available in mass circulation was that that piece of rubbish, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (but were afraid to ask) by Dr David Ruben. If I ever meet this quack, I'm gonna punch him in the nose. He went on for pages and pages describing situations like crossdressers sitting in gay bars, erections to the ready. Any heterosexual CDing stuff was heavy on the sexual aspect. It all confused me and made me ill. I knew I wasn't like the guy in the gay bar, and I as far as even straight sex went, I will admit that it was nowhere in my thoughts. The things he wrote filled me with a lot of self-hatred.

When my mum found out, aside from the beating, I was given a stupid booklet called something like 'What Every Boy Should Know About Puberty'. YUCK! You mean THAT'S gonna happen to me in the middle in the night! Ick -- in my cute panties! And those other things are gonna happen too? Why can't my (gynecomastia induced) breasts, small though they were, right?

My dreams at night, as I lay in my bed listening to my transistor radio with the likes of WCFL (AM 1000) coming over the airwaves, boys PJ's on the outside, my training bra and panties (to be stashed in my secret places in the morning unless I wore 'em to school) underneath, were filled with warm thoughts and imaginings that I was a that moment just like the girls I went to school with.

Ah -- and then I saw it -- advertised in the newspaper .. a movie -- I Want What I Want. The ad had a little teaser line in parenthesis .. (to be a woman). So with that being in the legit media and on the big screen, I knew I was not alone. Didn't get to see it until 1985, though.

By the time I was old enough though, I figured the sex bit out -- didn't have any until much later -- but read Penthouse etc. And -- I discovered that adult book stores had these little booklets -- the Mutrix and Nutrix stories. I used to buy up the lot. These were my fantasy books. My dream books. They were mild compared to almost anything today, such as some music videos and TV shows. In their own primitive way however they outshine most of the rubbish that gets passed off as TG fiction (especially at a certain well trod 'mania' website).

It took almost 12 years for me to make my first contact with other CDers. An ad appeared in the personals in the Sunday paper. I called the phone number .. became a 'founding sister' of Transpitt.

Nothing happened computer-wise until 1985. It was the days of 300 baud modems, Compuserve, the Human Sexuality forums HSX-100 and HSX-200. It was weird. In many ways it felt cheap and had the atmosphere of an adult book store replete with one handed typists.

I am happy that places like here are here for us to exchange hopes and dreams. It crowds out the noise of the less savoury places.

Overall, I quite honestly am thankful that I grew up in a much more innocent time

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

PS -- if any of you are around my age (52) and CDed as a teen around 1970, I'd love to make friends and share experiences.

[JulieC]

I was on the Internet before it was called the Internet. I rode the computer networking boom as a geek beginning in the early 80s and moving forward to now. I was born in the 60s, and some of my earliest memories involve thoughts of crossdressing. I began crossdressing in the early 70s.

Of course, with exposure to networks I went exploring for possible crossdressing related things. There wasn't much at first. I did stumble across alt.pantyhose when newsgroups were actually useful. This again was before the Internet was called the Internet. Crossdressers were welcome on that newsgroup back in those days (late 80s). Then the newsgroup got taken over by porn addicts wanting pics of pantyhose clad women (nothing wrong with that; I like those pics too). The culture of the group changed, and suddenly the crossdressers were persona non grata in that group. I posted to it for years using an anonymous e-mail address via a proxy in Finland. Gave it up though when the culture changed.

Before that, I never knew another crossdresser. I'd assumed there were other boys and young men like myself. I didn't think myself alone in the sense that I was the only one who liked doing this. But, I did think myself alone in that there was no way I could communicate with anyone who did. The nets changed that dramatically, and forever.

I also remember in the mid 90s that L'eggs was a front runner in the web world, and won awards for their site. Their site included a very well done forum, one sub forum of which was dominated by crossdressers. It was sort of a semi-secret that the big-wigs at Hanes Brands were not in on. Then one day, they found out. POOF the forum disappeared literally overnight, with no warning. Gone forever. L'eggs was happy to readily acknowledge that a significant minority of their sales were to men, but categorically refused to embrace them as customers because of the stigma possibilities and public relations nightmare they thought it would cause for them. L'eggs could be branded as the pantyhose of choice for men, and their main customer base would evaporate.

That created a vacuum that remained largely unanswered for years. There were some outlets, but not many, and not many well attended. One that was well attended and is still so is a company that distributes hosiery. But, while their forum openly welcomes men in pantyhose, they will destroy posts discussing crossdressing beyond wearing pantyhose. Interesting line in the sand.

The nature of crossdressing support on the net continues to evolve, and will do so for the forseeable future. The good thing is, it's here for good and marginal sub groups of society are no longer marginal (for better or worse; better for us of course).

Another wonderful aspect of the net's presence is that spouses now have resources to turn to on finding out their husband enjoys wearing women's clothing. They too are no longer alone, if they look for support.

[Jenny Gurl]

The internet, and especially this site helped me understand the condition much better. It is confusing when you think you are the only one in the world with these feelings. The stereo type the media gives us was all I had to compare my feelings to. I know I like women, but I also have this strange desire to emulate them. I am strait, but yet would like to wear classy pretty cloths, makeup and a nice set of nails. I was very confused but I was sure I was different from a very young age, around 6 years old if memory serves. I still am in a discovery journey, but my journey is much more informed since reading on the internet and reading all the information here. Thanks to all who share their lives here on the site, you have helped countless people understand themselves and feel less alone in the world. There is no way to know how many have been helped here and moved on. I might have taken this secret to the grave had it not been for this site giving me the courage to share my feelings with my SO, and amazingly she understands.

[Paula_56]

Anyone remember a magazine called the "Tranvestian"
it was one the few that wasn't pornpgrahic

[Tasha McIntyre]

Like so many others, the pre internet days were filled with confusion especially teenage years.

What the hell is going on inside my head?
Why do I feel like this?
Why am I the only guy in the history of the universe with this little problem?

At least the net and places like this came about before I went totally mad :)

[michellesworld]

Well, I've had access to internet most of my life, but didn't necessarily use it to my advantage. Like others have said, prior to learning of these communities, I thought there was something wrong with me, and wanted to snap out of the behavior. These forums are allowing me to better accept CDing as part of my life.

[Kendra (Tx)]

OMG!! Before the internet....there was for me, the wonder....the lonliness... "Am I the only one who is like this?" Then I saw bits and pieces of shows on.. Tom Snyders "Tomorrow" show ( dating myself here ) who had Virginia Prince on who was the very first person I ever saw who actually put a "name" on what I was feeling...."Crossdressing".....A revellation had hit me....That was it.. Then there was HBO, that occasionally had "specials" on the subject....And then one eye opening Documentry by Lee Remick titled "What Sex Am I" on Showtime ( I believe it was )....Of course I'm not as extreme as the transsexuals were seeking transition on that one...but it was information as to the feelings I had....Then finally the internet....OH WOW!! Finally people of like minded to actually talk to and meet ( and I have talked to and met ) and learned...and learned about myself...that I'm not alone...and it's NOT a sickness...it's a perfectly natural condition...it's just a part of who each of us are...:battingeyelashes: I have met some wonderful friends because of discovering who I am due to being Kendra, and I wouldn't trade this for the world...Yes, the internet has made it a lot easier to "get a start" by being able to buy clothes, wigs and such online...But I think the MOST important thing about the internet has to offer is the people and the friends and the information that can be found and made through forums such as this....Without this forum and the internet...it would me MUCH harder...and perhaps nearly impossible for girls like us to enjoy the freedom of being ourselves out and about like we can now a days...:2c:

http://kendra954.com

[Marcia Blue]

I started dressing in the early sixties at he age of 5. I did not find the Internet till I was 37 in 1996.

I was confused all trough the teen years. I always hoped, that I was not a mental case or slowly losing my sanity. I dressed just for me, being very careful to hide any possible trace of my dressing. I purged so often that I can never remember keeping any thing for more than a few weeks.

When we hooked up to the Internet, I really found out how common this hobby was. I could not believe the number of CDs who ventured out. There were even events at normal venues. I also learned that most CDs were heterosexual. I actually started liking who I was. This community by digital means, really helped make me more open, to who I am.

[Barbara Jo]

Anyone remember a magazine called the "Tranvestian"
it was one the few that wasn't pornpgrahic

Yes, it was a newspaper format publication.:)

[Laura Evans]

Every thing that everyone here has said ditto for me so I won't bore you all. 62 yo here. I thank the internet to have helped me be more accepting of myself.

[NicoleScott]

Wow. So many of us have similar beginnings. No internet. Loneliness. Nobody to talk to. Self-educating in bookstores and libraries. Influenced by women, not crossdressers. Guilt. Unwilling/unable to have film processed and prints made for fear of being caught.
It's changed. The anonimity of the internet. Digital cameras. Make your own prints or share by sending image files online. Internet shopping. Discovering that there are lots of us.
How'd we ever survive back then?
On the other hand, women wore high heels and wore red lipstick. How few do now? I guess it's up to those of us who dig such things.

[AmiFL]

Before the internet I thought I was very weird enjoying the feel of womans clothing. I did not realize there were thousands of others like me. As a teen I was on my own....I still enjoyed how mom's clothes felt and never stopped regardless of how weird I felt. Playboy Forum magazine was the first place I read about other cders. I was amazed I was not alone.

When the internet first opened up bulletin boards and "chat rooms" for cders I was elated I was not alone.

[Jilmac]

I was crossdressing long before the internet was thought of, but I did it in exterme secrecy. I told my first and second wives about it before i married either one but they both disaproved. The internet provided an outlet that opened my eyes to the fact that there are more of us than society will admit.

I'm glad there is such a thing as the internet because it puts us in touch with girls all over the globe.:) :thumbsup:

[suit]

information is good .a little information is crule..
the local library if they had a book listed it was stolen .
the state's largest library was in a univeristy I managed to get into itabout 1982 . and flunked out of soon after i found it was full of books on trees and english lit, nothing usefull. years later io found the good books were all owned by the professors and loaned out to there students ...WTF ! oohh yyea this is america and everything is for profit ..no mater what they say about a good "free education" even when your paying for it , you have to pay even more for the good stuff.
the copious ,good ,free (29.95/ month for 200 hrs)information might have added years to my life, it certanly took a ton of stress away and gave my a yard stick to measuer my "little kink" by.

[Keely]

Since I was born in '51 and have been into this since about 5 that was way before the internet.

I thought I was the only one or least one of few that had these feelings.

In the early days of the internet it was just the 'weridos' that I learned about. Then I discovered this site and others.

I was not alone! What a revelation. I have grown to accept myself as not an aberation. I am so grateful.

[Paisley GG]

All I can say is, I am so glad you are not alone anymore! :D

[Mandy]

I started dressing in the late 80's and I found it a total bind having to go round various shops looking for clothes that fitted, allthough there were catalogs, where i would order various sizes of a item hoping one would fit. I felt alone as I thought it was just me that crossdressed & spent some of the time indoors before I had the courage to go out, only in the darker months:sad:

Only a few outlets did wide fitting shoes, I think Ambrose Wilson springs to mind:daydreaming: all I had back then was a pair of black leather knee boots & some sling back sandals.

Lingerie wasnt a problem, good old Marks & Sparks was at hand:D as I wasnt bothered going there & looking for what I needed.

Wigs was very difficult to find, I was scouting though yellow pages looking at Fancy Dress shops, the countless number of times I visited shops and the miles I traveled to find the right one & then it cost me £60.

Thank god for the internet now & places like eBay It has made my Crossdressing experiance more enjoyable as I'm able to relax within the comfort of my own home dressed and either do online shopping or can browse the latest fashion's & then go into the high street & purchase and hold my head high at the same time.

More stores now do wider fitting shoes & they are more readily available in fashionable styles of today.

I'm Proud to say that I am a Crossdresser and not a Transvestite as I was known back then and I dont feel alone anymore :tongueout

[Mitzi]

I guess I'm alone in knowing early on, I wasn't the only "transvestite" in the world. Been dressing since the 1940's, and had read of others who dressed. I remember a story in a Sunday supplement about a rich guy who liked to greet guests dressed as a maid, and liked to wear wedding gowns.

I first went out in public in 1953 to a "drag" Halloween ball. There were plenty of magazines dedicated to crossdressers, I learned of the ball from one. (Oops, the flood of magazines came later. I learned of the ball from an item in Ebony magazine, which had tg articles now and then. Edited by Mitzi)

The internet has been a fun venue to read of others' exploits, like Txkimberly's and Karren Hutton's, and others. And joining a tg chat room awhile back kept making me lose sleep...:o, but oh, how fun was that!!!

Mitzi

[Loni]

O to have had this web stuff some 40 years back.:daydreaming:


girls today have it so "easy" and can see there are others and they are not alone.:battingeyelashes:


.

[eluuzion]

well, I used to walk 12 miles in my bare feet, through the blinding snow...yakity yak yak....:heehee:

Ok, let's see...
I would say that before the internet, I felt more "isolated" in my CD interests...but did an incredible amount of productive things each day.

After discovering the internet, I have lots of "friends" and support networks, but I get absolutely nothing done each day.

:D:love::D

[Christy_M]

I have found myself getting emotional quite often reading the stories that are so much like my own...

I always felt like a freak. I could never talk with anyone about it. It was bad enough that i was ostricized for not wanting to play with the boys and then not being allowed to play with the girls. I think I have muttled through with some degree of external normalcy in order to survive and now I find there are not just a few out there like me, there is an entire community.

sorry for the tear drops on the page...oh, the internet tends to hide that doesn't it?!?!?!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Wheres all us baby boomers 63 years ago fuuny as at age 10 / 11 or so we had two guys living next to us , I knew some thing about them just not the words , my mum told me they were gay , oh i knew that.

the army had dressers we knew about them & the drag queens , other than that nothing .
I never struggeled with who i was tho knew i was different & just keeped my mouth shut .
I came out properly 12 years ago & still knew nothing just i was sort of a mix of both m & f so really it was up to my self as to how i did things . never had a computer till 4 years ago & even then had to have other people do my letters & find info . the net ment nothing to me ,

So i had many friends who helped me in my walk as to being a woman or becoming a woman in the way i should be, ,
They have been a part of my life, that ill allways be thankfull for & indeited to .

The difference is many of you have been able to get info & help through the net details & so on .

im not going to say i missed out far from it , okay there are parts that would have been nice to have been there as a young child ,

well iv lived through that & because of my past that is me & remains a part of who i am now , im stronger for that ,

Of cause now i have friends all around the world, only because of this network computer thing , so from that point im thankfull for as well.

...noeleena...

[Fab Karen]

There was was a time before the internet? Shut up! you're kidding right?:heehee:
Y'know youngster, once upon a time, to make a phone call you had to be in a building with wires attached to it. And you had to stick your finger in slots on the phone & turn a dial for EACH individual number. Some places outside had a big glass box ( with wires attached of course )with a door on it with a phone inside you put coins into ( a long distance call was a pain to make from those ) & if you didn't get more money in in time it hung up on you.

[victoriamwilliams1]

The Internet was the biggest change in my life and before the web I though I was alone and I was in fear of going out in public. It was the Internet that helped me be who I am today:)

[Toni_Lynn]

Y'know youngster, once upon a time, to make a phone call you had to be in a building with wires attached to it. And you had to stick your finger in slots on the phone & turn a dial for EACH individual number. coins into.

Oh I love those old dial phones ... and when phone number had letters as the first two bits. Would it be great to say that your phone number was PAnties6-5555 (726-5555) or BRassire2-5555 (272-5555).

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[renee k]

Like many others here I started at a young age and grew up thinking I was the only boy in world who had these feelings. When I reached my early twenties and had moved out of my parents home to Northern California. I found other people like myself though Virgina Prince. I joined a group in Walnut Creek. Which really helped me with accepting myself. The experience was one of the best things to ever happen to me. The only publication that chronicled crossdressing at the time was Virgina Prince's "Trasvestia". Between going to meetings at members homes and reading Trasvestia. I finally was able to connect with people that shared my interests and get out into world feeling good about myself.

Now with Al Gore's fabulous invention, the WWW. I've been able to share my experiences and meet many more people. It's pretty remarkable how the internet as expanded everyones horizons. And how it's taken for granted now.

Renee

[AKAMichelle]

It was very lonely. There wasn't a lot of help out there to figure out how to deal with it either.

[kellycan27]

Y'know youngster, once upon a time, to make a phone call you had to be in a building with wires attached to it. And you had to stick your finger in slots on the phone & turn a dial for EACH individual number. Some places outside had a big glass box ( with wires attached of course )with a door on it with a phone inside you put coins into ( a long distance call was a pain to make from those ) & if you didn't get more money in in time it hung up on you.

OK... now you're pulling my leg right? If not.. that must have been hell on the acrylics! I guess they hadn't invented voice dial yet. I do know about being hung up on though.. "dropped calls" I hate it when that happens.:devil:

Kel

[Lorileah]

I would say that before the internet, I felt more "isolated" in my CD interests...but did an incredible amount of productive things each day.

After discovering the internet, I have lots of "friends" and support networks, but I get absolutely nothing done each day.



yep that is how it works for me and it is getting worse....danged wireless.

Before the interwebs. Hmmm...we were at war with the Huns right? Chariot racing was bigger than NASCASR.

To be frank (don't call me frank) I guess I didn't really notice. Inside I knew who I was and "underneath" I wore that. I was happy in the 70's because many of the guy clothes were actually very femme. I had my magazines too...the ones from FMi and forced fem :o that told me I could be beautiful and I was probably a pervert. But then I was really keeping busy...I didn't have interwebs so I had things to "do". My wife let me (is that really true...let?) wear womens articles of clothing that truly were not that noticeable and she reassured me I wasn't insane (at least on the clothing part). So bottom line is as stated in another thread I was very lucky to have been who I am am and wear what I liked at least in a more "stealth" mode.

[Frédérique]

It would be great to hear comments from some of the older crossdressers how the internet changed your life for the better.

Well, I'm not that old...:doh:

Back before the Internet (you must capitalize that word, my dear) I just did my crossdressing in a vacuum, but I didn’t really know how isolated I was. I think I read two books on the subject, both very much along the lines of mental disorder/compulsive behavior, which I dismissed out of hand. I much preferred to see or embrace beautiful depictions of wearing the “wrong" clothes, which somehow made the whole enterprise “right” in my mind. Why not? It felt wonderful, therefore it had to be wonderful. Keeping everything to myself helped, but when I told my girlfriend about my interesting (to me) clandestine activity, her chilling reaction gave me pause. I lost some momentum, then I regained it, then I lost it for a few years, mainly due to unforeseen upheavals in my life. What was the question?

The first thing I ever looked up on the Internet was the world of crossdressing. I read a lot of stories, some innocent, some not, and I learned all about the parallel universe I was traveling through. It wasn’t until I read other people’s stories that I came to wonder why I crossdressed, but, once again, I dismissed general explanations and went my own way. I’ve done it all, way before I found sites like this one, but the Internet has helped me to feel less isolated within the “community.” It’s wonderful to have peers without pressure…:)

Care for a phosphate? Excuse me, I have to go – I’m late for an ether frolic…:heehee:

[Anna Maria]

Before the internet being TG, of whatever label / type you care to put yourself under, was like being a thief sneaking around during the night. Subject to fear, approbation, ridicule and violence. Ripped off by traders, usually porn business (*shudders*) for reading materials, information and shoddy clothing. Ah, the good old days eh? ;)

The internet does have a lot to answer for, but it has (:2c:, IMHO etc.) considerably enhanced the lives of those of us in the TG communitities, especially the youngsters.

God Bless the internet!!!!!!!

[t-girlxsophie]

I really only started using the Internet in the last year,and even in this short period of time I have learned so much and also found a new avenue for shopping resources.When I began venturing out It was through blind luck I found out where to go,so Im glad there is much more available to those trying to find there way in their TG Journey

[JulieC]

OK... now you're pulling my leg right? If not.. that must have been hell on the acrylics!

Women got around this by using the non-writing end of pens and pencils to dial. :)

[Susan Dee]

Just about two words describe things pre Internet - lonely. And confused.

Without the Internet I would never have learned that -


I am not alone
I was created how I am
there is no need for the guilt and shame I felt
it's never too late to find out who you really are
I am the whole me


Would I want to go back? No thanks.

[NicoleScott]

Y'know youngster, once upon a time, to make a phone call you had to be in a building with wires attached to it. And you had to stick your finger in slots on the phone & turn a dial for EACH individual number. Some places outside had a big glass box ( with wires attached of course )with a door on it with a phone inside you put coins into ( a long distance call was a pain to make from those ) & if you didn't get more money in in time it hung up on you.

Those were the days, weren't they? Now, phones are getting smaller and are getting lost. Fortunately, there's a new technology to keep phones from getting lost. It's a wire with plastic connectors on each end. Plug one end into the phone and the other end into a wall jack. That keeps the phone anchored and it won't get lost. Ingenious.

[sterling12]

For a Kid growing up back then, virtually no information whatsoever. Two predominant Terms Apply: "Lonely and Isolated." Like many others, I thought I was ALONE!

For Adults, I think there was a bit of an "Underground" going on, If you were brave enough to take The Necessary Steps. You can read Accounts of Police Raids in Gay History's, and a lot of The People arrested appear to be Transgendered. Remember at The Stonewall Riots, there were a lot of "Drag Queens" participating. But, I think back then anyone who crossdressed and hung out with friends in Gay Bars was called a Drag Queen.

I also remember making a trip to Chicago, and making some of my first Purchases at Rose Lee's on W. Irving. I was in my early twenties and it was around 1972. I was very timid, very withdrawn, but Rosey sensed my fear and isolation. She asked me: "Honey, do you want to meet some people who can help you?" "I can introduce you, and they are having a Party tonight." And, if you look around now on The Net, you can find a number of pictures and narratives going back to The 19th Century. I imagine they were very brave, or very driven to go out and take on The World.

Obviously, it's about A Thousand Times better today. Lots of information, lots of opportunities. One Small Example? If you had asked me while growing up, I couldn't have imagined a Place like this, where thousands of T-Folk can come and exchange information and find acceptance. Back in The Old Days, I couldn't even imagine someone else crossdressing in my Home Town of three million.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Madilyn A.]

Yes it was lonely. Back in the 50's when I started dressing as a young boy, I did think something was wrong with me. Of course, I had no idea the great numbers of us existed. So, like many others, thinking if I ever get caught I will be a total outcast. With this thought in mind I probably became more macho then I might have. By the 60's, and 70's transvestites had a pretty bad rep. and you didn't want anyone to think of you as a sexual deviant. If computers and the internet had been around then, my life would have probably taken a different direction. For me, that is the biggest difference the internet would have made. Now the on-line shopping, well that's a whole other chapter for another day.

[lisajane]

Before the internet it was Literally The Dark Ages I thought I was alone in the world as a cder. Public libraries had no info, most of the sex shops had no magazines related to cding, I didnt dare mention it to my DR our Guidance counsellor in school, When I finally found a magazine [ Tapestry] I lived at home so it could not be sent there! It was an awful time!
I met my best cd friend online [ Samantha Perle ] and she started taking me out as Lisa, and one evening while out with Samantha I met my wonderful Girl friend Joan:love:
The Internet has had a dramatic effect on my life, for the better:thumbsup:

Lisa

[julia ann]

Growing up I "knew" i was the only freak in the world that crossdressed, did not even know it was called crossdressing. Now with the internet I have learned so much and met so many wonderfull ladies online that I know I was totally out of line thinking "freak" we're just different people trying to live what see as a normal life, who is to say what is normal these days.

[adrienner99]

Obviously it was much harder to make contacts. I used to drive to a big city and visit awful adult bookstores to find magazines like Ladylike and Female Mimics. In time, CD magazines caught on to running personal ads and I would communicate by snail mail...Photography was awful because when you went to pick up your developed film, you knew the salesgirls behind the counter had shared the pics with each other.

The Intenet also made it easier to get "caught" for t hose who did not understand how to clear their history.

[PetiteDuality]

Before the Internet I thought I was the only crossdresser in the world. I did not even know what I was. I thought I was kind of a failed gay, because I liked to use girl's clothes (so I had to be gay!), but I didn't like guys at all. I even tried to stare at guys that were supposed to attractive and imagined myself kissing them, and I just could not picture myself enjoying it. Very confusing...

The first illumination came when I was at 8th grade and we had a "Health Education" subject where some sex education themes were part of the curricula. They talked about sexual deviations and I learned what a fetish was. Of course, I assumed that I was a fetishist for girl clothes. It explained a little better, but still not a good description.

A year letter there was a TV show about sexual deviations (they loved the term "sexual deviations" back in the 80's, didn't they?), and there was some transgendered pictured in the TV show. I was surprised. I never thought that sex change surgeries were possible, and that a guy could take hormones and have such changes. This show confused me, because I kind of identified with the characters, but I did not want to become a woman.

The Internet changed everything :hugs:

[carolinoakland]

finding out that I wasn't the only one and there wasn't anything wrong with me was a good thing about the internet. Carol

[Jaydee]

Like so many of the other posters, I lived a like of confusion, guilt and fear of being found out. It started when I was about 10. I thought I was the only one who felt this desire to dress in girls clothing. There was no information available. What I did find in the library made me even more confused.

It wasn't until I found the internet and specifically this website that I finally realized that I wasn't alone. It was a revelation. After over 40 years, I have started to come to terms with my dressing and am feeling much better about myself.

Jaydee

PS: I miss those old hardwired dial phones. If you didn't answer the phone, they just thought you were out.

[NathalieX66]

All I keep thinking is people swapping polaroid pics in a dark alley. :ph34r:

But seriously, before anyone could "express" themselves on a public level in total anonymity, I can recall back in the late 80's or early 90's picking up a copy of Transformations magazine at Hudson News on Broadway around 4th st. in NY city, and feeling very guilty about it. I think publications like this, which published photos that people mailed in was one of the only few sources.

Yeah, I was a crossdresser since childhood. By the time I got to college I thought the only outlet was to dress androgynously. "Yeah, I may be weird but I'm not gay" was always my alibi back then. Loving women's clothes enough to wear them but not digging guys was confusing enough. To me this seemed more than just playing out a Monty Python sketch. It was 1990 when I went to a night club in Hollywood, Ca. called Peanuts on one of their trans nights, and that's when I learned officially what transgender really was.

[MargaretJ]

Never felt I was the only one CDing, but there was no chance of meeting others and learning stuff. I did think there was something different about me as a CDer, as I was only ever interested in dressing as a "normal" woman, and not the extrovert, heavily made up, over the top, drag queen, which was the normal image of a tranny when I was younger. The most enjoyable aspect of being on here for me, is just how normal we all look, and want to be.

[Toni_Lynn]

Obviously it was much harder to make contacts. I used to drive to a big city and visit awful adult bookstores to find magazines like Ladylike and Female Mimics.

I used to love Female Mimics (or FMI as it got nicknamed). It was the first publication that I ever sent a letter to about who I was. A public coming out in a sense.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Chloe Renee]

I didn't access the internet until highschool. Prior to that I was alone and depressed. O had been caught and beaten a couple of times. In college o finally found others like me. It felt so good to know that. In fact I remember lurking here in 2004 when k bought my first computer.