How long did it take for you to fully accept yourself ?

[ManInBra]

I was thinking the other day while online and talking with a female. She had told me right from the beginning that she really likes and enjoys CD males. It struck me that she accepted me right away, and I had wondered, It took me about 25 years to be able to finally look in a mirror and not feel ashamed or guilty, or all those other things many of us had felt at some point. So that is my question, How long did it take for others here to finally be able to stand up, look in mirror and feel good about who and what you are. I cant even begin to count the number of times that I was positive that suicide was my only true release from this blessing and or "curse". I was about 36 or 38 years old and one day I sat down crying on my ex wifes shoulder. I didnt know what to do or how to feel, the encouraging words she spoke to me, it was like the curtains were opened and I got a clear view of all. And really I dont thank her enough for being my saviour that day. She turned my whole life and attitude around. All of you GG's out there that are accepting and openminded -- One more "God Bless You". There is probably no way of knowing how many lives you all have saved from a slow painfull lonely death. My hat is off to you, or maybe a quick curtsie will suffice.?

[Sherry-Stephanie]

When I started dressing about 3 years ago I never really had the issue within me to accept me...it was more of a lets see where I can go with this and see how it works out..so accepting never was an issue...guess I was fortunate...I guess I was trying to use the dressing to bring out the female within me which I knew was there and see if I could dress well enough to valid the female inside me to being a female in the mirror if that makes any sense...

[Victoria Anne]

I had dressed all my life and I was 36 when I quazi accepted myself but it was still yet another8 years , yep just 4 years ago at the age of 45 when I finally came to terms with who I am and yes it is because of the love and support of my wife that helped me and eventually led me here. I thank God for Mrs.M everyday and thanks to all of your support as well.

[Kate Simmons]

I, personally, never had much of a problem with it other than sorting out the feelings. I went to therapy to figure out how to deal with family members and others who seemed to have a problem with it. I finally integrated the fellings under one aegis from the spiritual aspect.:)

[dominique]

For me it must've been in my mid to late twenties to fully accept that I loved dressing as a woman and it being a large part of my life.

[kellyanne]

Age 35

[JulieC]

My journey of 'full' acceptance is an ongoing process that I don't expect to end in this lifetime. I'm still learning about me, sometimes astonished at what I find.

The turning point for me, beyond which I recognized that I was a crossdresser and would be forever, was when I was 23. I stopped purging then.

The turning point for me, beyond which I refused to accept a girlfriend who did not accept me...all of me...was 32.

[AKAMichelle]

Far too long. I beat myself up over being cd'er for 40+ years. I didn't start accepting myself until 2.5 years ago. It was a struggle but I finally got to a comfortable place.

[JainaCarpaccio]

after 6-7 years of fighting it, I've finally reached the point where I'm accepting it. I'm 22 now, and since I've started accepting Jania as a part of who I am my life has gotten infinitely better.

[michellesworld]

Well I'm in my early 20's, and I'm finally beginning to accept it and even embrace it a bit. I mean, the process isn't complete, but at least I've begun?

[Gizmo, Debbie]

Hang on a minute whilst i work this out......
I will be.......33 this year ( another 6-7 weeks?).
It was the end of 2008 (and just before redundancy due to the ression took my job) when i told my then boss of my plans to start transitioning an go full time. Then right at the start of 2009 i started at college and attended enfemme.
So the answer would be 30-31 years old before i fully accepted myself.

[Sarah Doepner]

Let's see. I was ashamed when I first thought girls clothes were pretty neat at age 6 or 7; I was dressing fully in secret on occasion by my mid teens and knew it was wrong, wrong, wrong; I continued to dress occasionally until my late 30's when the desire to dress started to hit me with more consistancy and I was dressing regularly into my mid 40's and trying to get out; I made contact with other crossdressers and actually made it out in public before I turned 50 and finally on a drive back from Las Vegas I pulled over to the side of the road and cried because I had finally realized that my desire to express femininity could be nurtured and be a benefit in my life, not just a curse. So 40 years sounds about right.

A lot of time stiring the pot before getting to taste the stew.

[Lexine]

Not too long. I think it was more trying to figure out what facet of my life made sense to have at this point. And somehow, it made sense to me to express myself in both boy and girl modes. I've felt better ever since that realization!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I have been dressing practically since birth. Also since birth I tried every thing humanly possible to stop. During my college years I began to realize the walls were starting to crumble despite all of my attempts to be 100% male. I was also a very grumpy person during this time period.

I still trired my hardest to resist until my mid 20's when after a very traumatic event I finally started to accept myself and came out of the closet to a few close family members.

Even after accepting myself I still gave it one last effort to "cure myself" which lasted all of 24-48 hours. It was not until around mid 2007 that I fully 100% came to terms with who I am and have not looked back since.

[Gerrijerry]

to be very honest I still have days when it hurts inside to be me. Started when I was very young pre teen and now I am going to be 64 this month. I so envey all the girls that have totally accepted themselves.

[kimdl93]

it took an unpleasant divorce and a couple of years of counseling, and the acceptance of a great woman to become fully capable of accepting myself.

[Christina Horton]

I never had to accept myself. It's was just me and Never had a prob with wanting to wear girls colthes. I've known since I was 4 that I wanted to wear what the little girls wore but just did not understand why I wanted to. I never felt gultly or ashamed of it , I just wanted to understand what I was and why.... Still working on the why part but ant we all lol.

So unlike mort others I never had any guilt or shame , nor regret on it.

Why should I. That's the way god made me. And I thank him for that. Kisses god :love:

[Rianna Humble]

At a very rough calculation, it took me just over 46 years to accept myself. My earliest childhood memories (about age 7 or 8) were of dreaming about getting married as the bride.

In those days, we were still about 3 decades before the Internet stone age so I thought I was the only freak in the world.

Early last year, when I faced the stark choice of cross-dress or commit suicide, I still couldn't accept myself and tried to shame myself our of cross-dressing.

It wasn't 'til nearly Xmas last year that I finally accepted that I am transgender. It was only about 5 months ago that I accepted that I am in fact transsexual.

The relief is unbelievable.

[Ras]

It seems to be an on going process, some days are better than others. But overall, very excepting

[sissystephanie]

I started crossdressing by wearing panties at age 6! Beforer I was out of my teens, I had accepted the idea that I was different from my male friends. I liked wearing feminine clothing!! Abd I stll do!! Oh yes, that was over 60 years ago!!

[Chickhe]

About exactly the same! I really wish I could have accepted myself when I was 20ish.

[Tomara]

I took me about 40 year to come to terms with myself and my cross-dressing , but with the help of my very good therapist I have come to accept my cross-dressing as part of who I am and I'm the happiest that I have ever been in my life.
Tomara

[Ashleythenewgirl]

I am just beginning. I don't know if I can say I have accepted what the flood of feelings means, but I feel better for having started the process. It took me several years to get to this. In a lot of ways I feel as if the light is on!

[Toni_Lynn]

Its an ongoing thing. It took until I was 31 to fully stand strong against my detractors, so in that sense, around 20 years -- oh and about 800 litres of rum. One a day over age 28 to 30. Don't do that no more.

The past 20 years have been golden, and the 4 with my wife have been the best, because she accepts me 100% as I am.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[DonnaT]

About age 10, when I started. I figured others might have a problem with it, but I didn't! :)

[PretzelGirl]

If you mean acceptance in that I didn't struggle with who I was, then I never had a problem. I tried on some stuff as a teen and don't recall wondering about who I was. It was a little effort and then it went away. I started again in my early forties and still didn't have a problem with myself.

Now if you mean acceptance like "Hello World! Here I am!". Nah. Transitioned isn't in my plans at the time and I don't want to blast through everything. I will go out and have my fun, but that is all for now.

[Jaydee]

For me it is still a work in progress, at age 56. As a teen, I was very confused. I felt guilt and shame but couldn't stop. I thought it went away after I married, but it came back after 10 years. Some where in my late 30s, I just came to accept that I wasn't hurting anyone, and it wouldn't go away, but the guilt and fear of being found out persisted. I found this site about 3 years ago. I started realizing that I wasn't alone. Within the last year I came out to my wife. While she doesn't really accept it she tolerates it when she isn't around. About 10 months ago, I saw a therapist. He didn't have any answers either, but he helped me on the road to acceptance. I am who I am, I can't change it, so learn to live with it. It gets easier everyday.

Good luck to those who haven't traveled this far on their way to acceptance the road is bumpy, but worth the trip.

Jaydee

[Barbara Dugan]

I am 41 and I am just learning to accept and understand myself ...If I hadn't started to dress I would be probably on the limbo I spent most of my life

[NathalieX66]

I am 44.
10 years ago I was living in Massachusetts, and every wednesday at the Rainbow Lounge along the Merrimac River in Haverhill was trans night. I lived 2 miles away.

Guess what?? I never went. :sad:
I was in total denial and shame. Back then, I was too into the corproate image thing. Too many co-workers lived in the area, some were gay, and I did not want to be outed as a crossdresser at work.

Never again.

[patricia 402]

well patricia just turned the dreaded 50 and i have been who i am scince i was 7 and it still dependes on what day you ask me on how i feel but like all of us we are always still learning.and trying to fit in and be comfortable.with who we are.:battingeyelashes:

[Nicole Erin]

I think one key to accepting yourself as a TG is when you can finally deal with your limitations. If you are a non-passing one, once you finally realise that passing is futile and so you set your goal to "acceptance". Even that one can be a far reach sometimes but it is easier to fool yourself into thinking people are accepting.

For me, I finally was able to accept myself recently when I realised I just don't have anything else to lose on count of being TG. Well sure I could still lose my health or life to someone truely bigoted but that is why I am careful everywhere and try to avoid hostile areas.

So this key to self-acceptance is -
realise you are probably never going to pass well enough to really live the part at any decent level. People might think at a glance but much more personal than that, nope.
If you have no spouse, no career, money, assets, friends, youth is slipping away, etc like my life, then you realise your lifestyle is pretty much paid for, might as well enjoy it. :brolleyes: You have nothing else to lose anyways, why not masquerade in the gender you sorely long to be?

Suckilty enough, in most of life by the time you realise what great potential there is, you also realise the ship has sailed. It is like thru youth everyone says you are too young to do what you want and later you are too old. Like supposedly the ideal time to transition is before 18, well who the hell has the support and means as a teenager to do ANYthing they want?

[charlie]

After a life of dressing I finally just accepted who and what I am about 2 years ago. I'm 60 now, so that is a lot of denial and feeling strange about my actions.

[AllieSF]

In one way, I have had it easy since I am a very late starter and never had to deal with growing up with all this, the ignorance of others, my own ignorance, lack of the internet, et al. Being mature also gives us "Oldies and Goldies" the opportunity of avoiding a lot of the related issues. Plus, after "being there and doing that" for many years, it is sometimes easier for us to put our own priorities in order and better realize that we are born to die, so we should do as much as possible and be as happy as we can in between those two life points. So far I have no serious issues with this new life and actually love myself more (probably because I look so much better when dressed!).

[Danni Bear]

14 but then again it is still a work in progress.

[Newbridget]

I'm new to CDing but have been quick to accept myself en femme. I enjoy the discoveries I make about myself and the new and wonderful feelings that come over me as I slip into thigh highs and 5 inch heels. And I really enjoy dressing with and sharing the company of other CDs.

[TG_Nicole]

I'll let ya know when i find out. But i'm getting there.

[lori m crawford]

i onces thout than i fond the right lady an i thought i did but it did not happen so for me i am a long semes like i cant not find a women that likes me for me

[brit_cd]

I am 34 now. I started dressing at about 11 or so. I finally quit purging all my pics and clothes about 3 or 4 years ago. So i think at about age 30 or so i could look in a mirror and like myself dressed. Nobody besides friends online know i dress. Which of only 1 knows my real identity. We have become pretty good friends online and hope to meet in person sometime. So far sh( a cd also) is the only one who knows both sides of me.
The internet really helped since i have found so many others like me. And learned alot about dressing.
I think alot about telling my wife but do not want to risk losing her over it. So for now i keep it as a secret.

[Leyna]

Still waiting...

[DeeDeeB]

Knew at 5, accepted it at 55. I guess that's 50 years.

Dee :fairy1:

[Cassandra Lynn]

Not counting the frist 6 yrs of life, when i first did it, and not counting the past yr of acceptance, call it 40 yrs.
I like Toni Lynn spent many of my years in denial of CDing drunk, in fact it was after 2 days of detox and another 14 in treatment (22 total) that i was lying in bed and thinking about who and what i am. It happened right then, and the feelings were very strong.
Still struggling too much financially for full dressing and going out like i want, but it'll happen soon enough.
The way i look at it, i've spent most of my life fighting who i am, can't expect it all to happen overnight.
The important part is that i accept myself as TG, and it honestly feels great!
mj (Cassie)

[Charleen]

Still a work in progress. I lived 55 years in guilt and shame due to ignorance. This site opened my eyes and started the internal healing. I guess I'm at about 90% accepting at this point. I'm going to try going on vacation for 4 days enfemme the whole time.

[BiancaEstrella]

Put on my first pair of heels when I was 9. Actively did things (contact sports, military, briefly attended all-male college) to try to re-enhance my masculinity. Bought my first pair of heels when I was 19. At 24, I decided to embrace the fact that I like women's clothing. So I guess you could say it took 15 years.

[Cherie]

Took me a lot of years and heartbreak to finally realise who i am. Tried every thing to stop cding but thanks to a gg she has made me comfortable with who i am. Took me about 30 years for Cherie to emerge she is here to stay .My family allways came first now its Cheries turn.

[iloveps]

Its taken me about 3 or 4 years. Now i feel completely at ease with myself, although i am not completely at ease about how other people will feel about me. but i know that i am determined to enjoy this part of my life as much as i can.

[Cherie]

The older we get the easier it gets accepting but our looks are to old to make it look good

[suchacutie]

The first moment I ever dressed was for my wife, and after an initial intake of breath from her and telling how terrific my legs were she said, "We need to buy you a dress".

The shock wore off in about 3 seconds and that's all the doubt there was..

Tina was born!

:)

[noeleena]

Hi,

Accepting of my self age 10 /11 yet saw details that did not add up as it was , never saw my self as a boy or girl ,tho like how girls looked,
as to dressing once in front of about 80 / 90 people & my mum , i forgot about that make up the whole works age 11 / 12 . then just live life as i was brought up till 12 years ago & it all changed well did it , not really it was im allowed to express my self as to who i am & have done & grown in a way that could not happen before, & for people they see me in a different way & as a woman. tho ....im ....still seeing my self as i did 53 years ago . yes iv changed lots, just my acceptance is the same.

...noeleena...

[KarenEdwards]

Good question and some interesting replies. Personally, I never "beat myself up" about being a crossdresser and somehow accepted it from the beginning as just being part of who I am. I did spend a lot of time researching and trying to understand it but that was more an intellectual exercise which had little to do with self-acceptance.

I've always been pretty comfortable in my own skin regardless of the clothing covering that skin, if that makes any sense.

[Karan]

not yet

[Sarah-RT]

Started *being* dressed as a child by my sister, as i got older and closer to puberty I enjoyed it. 20 now but I still dont accept myself, Its like world war 1, fighting back and fourth on the same ground.

[kimdl93]

Interesting. Does your sister know that you still enjoy dressing? Would you consider telling her?

I do find that being open with someone close and having their acceptance is a big part of finding self acceptance.

[Kathryn Martin]

I lost the guilt many years ago. That is when I realized this was part of me. Fully embracing the comfort of expressing this side of who I am has come recently. But for professional business issues I could care less what others think. I love myself. And if didn't need to have my small town very conservative clients to ensure my retirement you'd never know what gender I might show up in.

But one thing is sure: I would always wear makeup and paint my nails:battingeyelashes:

[ArleneRaquel]

I started CD'ing at about the age of eight, I was 56 went I went femme full time, so I guess it took me 48 years.

Arlene Marie McCarthy - Not your average grandma. :)