Why were you compelled to step out? How did your first time feel?

[Lexine]

Since this has been brought up many a time here on the forums as separate threads, I wanted to ask what compelled you to finally decide to go out en femme? Also, how did your first time feel (purposely ambiguous question hehe)?

For me, I didn't just decide to CD.... I decided that I was also going to do it outside my home and mingle with the general public. I actually had a very guy-logic reason for doing it: To rebuild my confidence destroyed byevents that happened in my life.

The venue I first went out at was my friend's birthday at Disneyland. You can't get any more public than that! After meeting up with my friends, they accepted my look and didn't question it and had a terrific time in the process. Since then, I've been CDing at least once a week!

[Dena]

I guess I got bored getting dressed up and just sitting around the house!

[ReineD]

My SO doesn't post here much, so if it's OK, I'll relate what she told me.

She knew 30 years ago when she was in college that at one point in her life she would explore the CDing fully, to the point of being able to do everything in femme mode as he does in guy mode.

It took her a few decades to get there, but when she felt ready she just went ahead and did it. She wanted her femme self affirmed and validated and to become multi-dimensional, so she was not interested in limiting her dressing to private, at home sessions or the occasional TG support group meeting.

[StaceyJane]

Forme I knew I was ready and I knew that going out as a woman was how I wanted to live my life.

[Loni]

even a homebody like me needs to get out and about,

the first time....

O so scared, hart thumping away almost out as it is in my thrut. the adrelin pumpin wiledly, such a fantastic rush.
but when over no after dump, just want to get back out and have more fun.

after a time it is just me out there, still fun, it just feels better and good. like it should have been all along.

:daydreaming:

[joann07]

Me, I was inspired by talking to a well experienced crossdresser.
She told me about her experiences going out in public and that really hooked me. So, I agreed to meet up with her and do some shopping.
She took me out shopping at various Goodwill stores, to the mall, and to the flea market. After all that shopping, we then ate at a mainstream restaurant.
Although I was a bit nervous, it felt very thrilling to be out among the general public.
After that first time, I never went back to the closet and have been going out, anywhere and place, ever since. It's hard to believe that was 3 years ago. Boy does time really fly when you're having fun.



Hugs!

[juno]

I decided to go out because "why not?" Logically, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, so why make going out a big deal? Just do it.

I started fully crossdressing (wig + makeup) just over the last few months. Once I developed a decent appearance, I found and met some local CDers. So, I told myself there is nothing to fear dressing in front of others, and refused to let myself worry. As expected, it was fun and comfortable. I haven't been out in the general public yet, but plan to soon.

Juno

[ReneeT]

I left the safety of the closet when I finally accepted and embraced who I am- whoever that is! To continue to hang in the shadows meant i was ashamed of who i am, and i definately am not! Now, I am a realist as well, so my introduction of Renee to the big scary world has been a gradual process, All in due time.

[Pattie O]

I have only stepped out on a couple of occassions.Once overseas in the UK at a transformation visit .I wore black pencil skirt and white blouse with a pale pink cardigan ,heels and of course wonderful lingerie(black) including a corsette.Hair and make up done professionally and we visited a friend of the lady that transformed me.It felt absolutely wonderful,I was very nervous when we stepped outside the door and it was my first time visiting but would love to make this a regular part of my life.ie but just me doing the make up and choosing my own clothes.Loved it!!!:daydreaming::battingeyelashes:To top off the visit we had afternoon tea and some deportment lessons.Dreamy tea and scones!

[Miley]

I have always had a desire to be able to be a girl in public so after some time dressing at home I grew in confidence and started to venture out. Now, I am hooked :heehee:

By the way, you look great alex

[NathalieX66]

Ever feel so compelled to go out......so much that it overrides the fear of doing it? That was me a year ago.
I felt like a race horse at the gate. Nothing was going to stop me.
When I finally went out, I coudn't sleep for two days afterwards. It was too unbelievable.
My conclusion is that after 10 years of denial and suppression, I finally busted through. At the going rate, I should have been a triple-crown winner.

[Nicole Erin]

I have no idean what compelled me to go out the first time, years ago.
I wore this blouse and long black skirt, made up, I do remember being nervous as crap until I noticed no one was staring at me.

Bad thing is even years later I sometimes run into confidence issues.

[Inna]

All my life, and it has been a bit, I wondered about the day I will walk tall into the world. I dreamed and often wondered but the image in the mirror kept grounding me down and shutting the door leading outside. Finally I decided to end this charade and start hormones so one day I will look a part and become free. After one year I came out to my sister and mother who embraced Alexia as their own, that was the moment I was freed. After two weeks I have met a wonderful girl Raquelle at this forum and after her encouragement I took the first steps outside. What a marvelous, scary, exciting, nerve racking time it was, I will never forget it. I am hooked, Alexia wants out, like a child in a candy store, always looking forward to next time!

[Kathi Lake]

Reine's SO's experience essentially paralleled mine - I came to the point that I realized that I was me. I accepted myself. I wanted the rest of the world to accept me as well. Validation, affirmation, whatever you choose to call it. Kathi is a part of me - an important part. The world deserved to see her.

My first time was about a year and a half ago. How did I feel? Let's just say it still brings a huge smile to my face. I felt, . . . me.

:)

Kathi

[txrobinm]

Well I cd'd in college minus wig and makeup. Just felt like I needed to be me, not hiding this part of me. I forget what I wore exactly, but I'm certain it was not appropriate to the venue. Then I promised not to CD, and that was like slow death.

Finally, after 15 years closeted, only dressing at home alone, I knew I needed to be a part of a CD community in some way. Humans are communal people- things by yourself (ANYTHING) is almost never as fun as with others- so I started doing the support group thing for a year. I wore a black A-line skirt, dressy boots w/heel and pointy toe, a purple clingy turtleneck, and a silver charm necklace.

Now that I'm single (it's OK- we are BOTH better off apart!), I've been out once or twice a week. I usually look like a soccer mom or Sunday school teacher, but I have very limited options for the heat (2 tops, a sleeveless cardigan, a LBD, a colorful poufy skirt and a b/w A-line skirt). I'm usually out with friends- either another CDer, a gay couple, or a lesbian couple that I know. I've also gone to an art museum and lunch with a straight friend.

[Chickhe]

It was a way to fight the denial. I did it to prove to myself I could do it.

[Mirani]

when she felt ready she just went ahead and did it. She wanted her femme self affirmed and validated and to become multi-dimensional, so she was not interested in limiting her dressing to private, at home sessions or the occasional TG support group meeting.

Yes! :thumbsup:

I would add that for me I was compelled to engage with the world. I remember some friends saying "you are very brave" - but I am not. I had no real choice. If my life was to feel fulfilled, I HAD to get out there as "me" and whatever happened would happen.

[Kate Simmons]

It just felt right and felt like the right time to do it.:)

[pernille d]

why hide in the closset & and some say they get board dressing at home alone . That i agree with but for me its one if the steps of growing up as a CD , I think it helped me come to terms with who i am and helped me understand a bit more that some things you dont need to be afraid of.I realised its my life and what others i dont know think about me is ther problem not mine .

one other thing is us girls love showing ourselfs off( look at the photo threads and i am none the better) we go to so much trouble to get every little detail right i think a lot of us just have a lit of being an exibitionist in us but will not addmit it. but of cause after the first few times the excitment/ fear wears off and the fact that we can fit in kicks in to give going out a whole new meaning .

re my first time out
just steped out of the car on a busy friday night in the city and walked and mingled with the crowds. after the first few double takes out of a 100 or so i did not care so much . i was more worried about meeting colleages from work rather than how i looked or acted

[dominique]

A few years ago it was the logical progression from in the house being dressed. When stepped over the door it was with trepidation and heart beating its fastest ever, but it was brill.

[Imogen_Mann]

I'll be brutally honest... The first time I stepped out was not a happy event. I was returned home in a police car. Thankfully I met up with a constable of rare perception, who gave me a 'man to confused boy/girl' talking too and dropped me home without fuss and without paperwork.

It felt liberating, but very scary, and TBH I really didn't enjoy it. I think the circumstances that lead up to it had a lot to do with it being a truly bad experience, It was the lesser of two evils... Go out for a long walk as Caroline (as I was back then) or stay in my room for another eternity. I was feeling claustrophobic, suffocated, ashamed, guilt ridden and (oh those teenage years) somewhat confused and anxious about things.

These days I think, a lot of the anxiety I feel about going out may be rooted in that first dreadful experience. I'm sorry it;s not a happy reply, but then... Life's not always fun is it ?

[Cheryl T]

Years of dressing alone and being in the closet drove me to want to be part of society as a woman.
I felt like a deer in the headlights the first time, so afraid everyone would point fingers and laugh, or worse. But none of that happened and now it's as easy for me as walking out the door.

[erickka]

I finally decided to take the plunge and just go. I will never regret that decision. As for the feeling, a lot scary at first, but after a couple of hours, I was more at ease and totally enjoying the breeze up my skirt and the clack of my heels on the sidewalk.

[crissy28]

I remember one of my First times out fully Dressed as a woman with makeup and all I was soooo Nervous but it turned out ok.. i had been dressing in private for prob 15 yrs , and the more an more i experimented with makeup and shaving the more it compelled me to want to go somewhere.. Finnally i made up my mind id do it ,and i had an amazing time ...
since then my looks have Drasticlly improved to where i could almost pass for Female except for my voice, but its alot of work when i do go out... which is maybe once every 2-3 months now since im married ..

my wife is supportive for the most part , she just doesnt understand why i am this way.. hell i dont understand it either and its been 22 yrs , she has known 8 months.. so i dont get to go out as much as i used to before we met but she is at least tolerant once every couple months i guess so its a start...

[jessica renee]

My inspiration for my first time was actually reading some of the stories posted here by others. I wore women's jeans and a women's tee shirt. I was so nervous and excited at the same time it was incredible. I'm planning to do it again this weekend.

[PretzelGirl]

I had a moustache all my adult life and because of it, when I first started dressing I never thought about going out. I actually didn't do much with make-up because of it either. When I shaved it off last fall, the damn burst open. I started playing with make-up and my hair and I felt ready to go out and get those experiences. It was just more of a way to let the whole me experience the remainder of my live.

[AKAMichelle]

For me it was the fact that I was scared of everything in my life. I had never been that way and I was determined to end the fear and regain my life. Going out in public did just that for me. I never realized when I did it what it would lead to, but I have no regrets.

[NicoleScott]

After thinking about the question for a while, and coming up with different answers, the honest truth is: I ventured out in public because I wanted to be seen. I had dressed up a lot and stayed in always. One evening I looked in the mirror and said "wow, I look good". I guess I wanted recognition, feedback for what I thought was very successful transformations. I did get feedback, too. Some gawked, some honked, some stared, one guy approached as I got into my car (it both scared and exhilirated me). I didn't even mind if I was read - as long as I got a reaction of some kind. But I never thought of myself as an exhibitionist. I just wanted to be seen as a pretty girl. Long ago.

[MargaretJ]

It wasn't until I started using make up that I got the urge to go out further than the footpath outside my door. I look and feel great when I'm made up, and staying indoors felt like being trapped. There was certainly a bit of wanting to be seen, and getting away with it, but not overt exhibitionism. And of course once I started going out, there is the sound of my heels clacking away, that is very sensual, and it is still such a fairly new experience, that there is still a bit of nervous excitement when I go out.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Basically I had reached the point of being in the house got old...real old and the door opened up to a whole new world...so out I went...

How did I feel??? Like a "thousand eyes" were on me...until I realized driving around and through parking lots that no one was staring at me let alone even looking at me....bummer!!!

So once out of the genie lamp that was it and it's been a forward progressions of steps ever since....

and so far it's all been without any bad situations....

[audreyinalbany]

Reading the stories on here certainly has helped; My wife and I had a crisis a few years ago and had a few sessions with a counselor who specialized in gender issues. That helped me to accept my crossdressing tremendously, and probably helped my wife be a little more sympathetic, although she is still far from accepting. Of course there is always the old standby: getting all dolled up and prettified and sitting around the house kind of loses some of its satisfaction after twenty years or so.
I'm still not terribly adept at going out, I don't get the opportunity all that often, but I'm getting more confident as time goes by and feeling it is less and less of a big deal.

[Nikki A.]

It was a progression and it just seemed to be the right thing to do at the time. It started with underdressing, then underdressing and wearing androgenous clothing. The first times out fully dressed was on Halloween. My first time out fully dressed in a non gay club setting was after I confided in a coworker and she invited me to her husband's aunt lesbian pagan commitment ceremony. It was very nice and was treated nicely by all there. Since then I have been out and I never have felt uncomfortable about it.

[Ellen Ross]

I had most of the young child experiences as most of the other girls here. As with Sue, I also had a beard for most of my adult life. The first big event was the need to shave the facial hair when I needed surgery. I decided to keep a clean face as I liked looking at myself more than ever. I had always thought I looked - well kinda wrong, which is why I grew the beard. But now there was some kind of spark, something had changed. The next thing was this weird need to go Christmas shopping crossdressed. I usually took a day off work in December to complete my shopping, and for a couple of years I kept looking at the great winter outfits the ladies were wearing and wishing I looked like that. I started collecting a few clothing items, and then found a local source for the gaff I was determined I needed. When I picked up the gaff, she helped me try on a wig and forms, and said my dream of shopping could come true with a little make-up. That night I realized I was a crossdresser. My first time out was just a few months later. I felt "right" for maybe the first time in my life. I had this weird confidence. Others will tell you I was quiet that night. It was allot to take in. But I knew it was right. And I have never thought of going back.

[LizaPond]

I use to dress while I was traveling for work in the hotel at nights. One time I ran out of smokes and decided to just go as is.
Actually, anyone who CD's gets that desire. You'll notice, nobody really cares, nobody seems to look you in the eye anymore. You can just walk along and...
I feel so good going out---I do it to meet men---hummmm
Liza

[Tasha McIntyre]

what compelled you to finally decide to go out en femme?

I'd just been boxed up too long I suppose. Once I learned how to present myself the best I can I just thought if I don't do it now, I never will. Then it was out the door, into the car, down the street and into the shops.


Also, how did your first time feel (purposely ambiguous question hehe)?[/B]

Oh lets try and remember.......TERRIFIED, but at the same time exhilarated. Life has been so much better in so many ways since that day :)

[Tammy Vee]

I can't pass so I always stay inside. I would not dare to go out.

[5150 Girl]

As my Polar Bear was moving in with me, She was dressing me in some of her old stuff that didn't fit her anymore. After finaly deciding on the perfect look, we dcided to go to dinner. I wanted to go change, she wanted to go NOW! So basicly she drug the cat out of the bag, and there hasn't bee any putting her back ever scince