Who Scares You The Most?

[Miley]

When you go out En Femme in public, what kind of people scare, intimidate or make you feel nervous the most? Is it an age group like young people, old people or is it police, a SA or some else.
For me, I feel most nervous and unsettle around young people about 15-17 yrs. Last night I went to the shops with my wife, there were not many people there but there were a lot of groups of young people. I didn’t have any problems and my wife said people didn't notice but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable, even if it was just in my head.

[KristinSkye]

Do you go out dressed often? I was kind of hoping that the more you go out the more comfortable it becomes.


Personally I still haven't gone out dressed yet (hopefully in the next couple months though!) but I already know that same 15-17ish group is going to make me extremely uncomfortable.

I'm also afraid that pretty much any eye contact is going to immediately make me paranoid and think that everybody is "on to me". Been trying to psyche myself up so that I can easily tell myself that its all in my head :straightface:

[Megan Thomas]

it's often the youngsters who spot us the most. And for some reason they are the ones more likely to say something. I usually put it down to wanting to look 'big' ito their peers. The reality of course, is very different but it doesn't deter them.

In the UK I tend to steer away from kids, especially the ones who look like they never attended school... :heehee:

[melissacd]

what scares me the most is not being myself

[StaceyJane]

I've gotten more and more comfortable around poeple while dressed.
I don't worry about what the teenagers think because I know they don't worry about what I think.

[Debb]

Drunks really worry me.

On the one hand, they're unpredictable -- what will they say? If they strongly object to a perceived "weirdo", will they try to take action?

On the other hand, drunks are easy to deal with, physically at least, if that becomes necessary -- don't get me wrong, I would never want that to happen.

Kids will clock me any day, any time, and they're likely to say something snide, but it's easier to let that stuff wash over me.

It kinda freaked me out one day in the mall, when some distance away an older guy yelled, "That's a man!" and pointed at me. Since then, I've learned to keep my head about me and not react as I did that day .. walking away as quickly as I could, trying to "hide".

Head held high, smiling at folks. Hey, they're sharing my not-so-secret -- I'm a guy dressed as the girl he wants to be.

[Pythos]

The young, and or the ignorant. They are the ones I am most concerned about.

Especially males because they have to prove their manliness sometimes, and act all stupid, and my end up getting hurt. :)

[Jodi]

I agree with Bethany. It is drunks. There is nothing more lethal and unpredictable than a combination of a weak male ego, testoserone overload and alcohol.

Teenagers are harmless. Yes, they might point and giggle, but they will cause no physical harm.

Jodi

[sandra-leigh]

One of the poverty and addiction prone ethnic minorities here is the most likely to laugh at me or to say something loudly, but the ones that hang around and beg have never threatened me.

Gangs (and I mean that in the literally) of teen and young adult males probably scare me the most: they always have something to prove to someone, and are not shy about taking opportunities to extract a wallet. I know where they tend to gather (in the areas I'm likely to go) and avoid that area.

Youngsters 15-17 and teen girls tend to leave me alone, a bit of giggling at most. That doesn't scare me.

[Freddy12]

For me, it's the teen-aged girls. I don't think the teen-aged guys look as much as the girls, and I think the girls are more apt to make comments, in part because they worry so much about their own looks.

[carrie-ann]

I don't worry about people much any more. I just be myself.

[Steph.TS]

I've never dressed up in public (or private for that matter) but if I did I would be most afraid of bumping into some one I knew, what whould they think, what would they say and would they tell other people I know that I crossdress, that's the scariest. most other people won't do anything but I still worry about what they think.

[Miley]

Hey KristinSkye, I have started to go out more regularly, at least once a week. It is true, every outing you get more confident to the point where for a moment you even forget you are dressed. But with every outing there are small challenges to over come.....dealing with the odd person, using girls toliets. for me I have always felt nervous around groups of young people when there are not large crowds to blend into so last night was a new experience, swimming with the sharks :eek:

[AlexisWest]

Teen aged girls look and giggle, mostly harmless. I'm more afraid of teen boys and idiots who feel they need to follow you and advertise your presence.

[Annaliese2010]

When you go out En Femme in public, what kind of people scare, intimidate or make you feel nervous the most? Is it an age group like young people, old people or is it police, a SA or some else.
For me, I feel most nervous and unsettle around young people about 15-17 yrs. Last night I went to the shops with my wife, there were not many people there but there were a lot of groups of young people. I didn’t have any problems and my wife said people didn't notice but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable, even if it was just in my head.Simply obtain a 'permit to carry' for a brand new sparkly clean gun. No no no of course you're not going to have to use it 99.9999% of the time - and hopefully never. But...it does wonders for one's sense of security.

[Nicole Erin]

An Erin bear came in and saw this thread and would CHERISH to share her feelings on this -

this goes for people regardless of who or what kind of person is alone.

OK, first and foremost - hicks. Rednecks, or whatever the latest term of endearment is for these morons. Anytime I have had problems with PPL acting like butts, it is them.

Teenagers in groups can be annoying but harmless.

So here is an Erin Bear's lesson in dealing with morons -
One moron alone won't say or do anything except on the rarest occasion, no one to impress.
Two morons together *might* act dumb but unlikely.
Three of them will normally spell trouble.
Teenagers with 3 or more friends will mock, but not usually want to get hateful. Teenagers stand a chance of learning and communication, unlike hicks.
Two morons in a car, the passenger will sometimes act stupid.
Older folks, regardless of sub-species, are less likely to act stupid.

Race and nationality doesn't seem to have a bearing on if they will act stupid or not.

Educated, decent people may not accept you but they are not going to taunt or anything cause they are civilized.

I asked a friend at school that lives in a hickville area about why hicks hate TG so much and she said - "They hate anyone who is different than them".

This reflects my experience in the TG life and life in general.
The thing is, no one cares what some brainless redneck thinks. The main thing you need to watch out for with them is if they are wanting to try to get violent. If you are going somewhere that might have any, carry mace or other self-defense unless you want to apply those martial-arts lessons.

[AKAMichelle]

I think the ones that bother me the most is grade school kids. That's because I don't want to cause a problem for them or their parents. I am always thinking about the kids before myself.

[sissystephanie]

The teen agers probably would be my biggest fear, simply because so many of them have no manners. But in the over 60 years that I have been CD'ing I have gone everywhere and probably been seen by eveyone. Now I go out totally dressed enfemme, but presenting as a man! No wig or makeup, just a guy in a skirt or dress! Never have had a problem and still don't, no matter where I go. In a Mall, supermarket, Post Office, restaurant, etc. It doesn't seem to make any difference, people just don't care!! Yes, I am a much older man but still in good shape and know a lot of different way to hurt someone!!

[christina marie]

american family association. these people are the real threat. 'nuff said!

[Frédérique]

Who Scares You The Most?

I would say groups of young males, specifically. One on one there’s no problem, but when boys herd together they get that pack mentality, doing things they normally wouldn’t do, all to impress girls or each other. I know what’s going on – seek out weakness, or any perceived threats to masculinity, then act upon preconceived notions of superiority with violence if necessary. I like to think there’s one boy in a group who isn’t quite sure why he’s hanging around with the crowd he frequents – this happened to me, until I had the courage to break free. To this day I dismiss groups of all kinds, unless the group is made up of transvestites, of course…:battingeyelashes:

I should say “groups of MALES,” since that would be more accurate. Men never stop being boys, unless you happen to be that guy in the Dos Equis commercial. Of course, I’m still a boy, way girly, but still a boy. I must say the police don’t scare me – I behave myself, mainly because I don’t want to ruin a policeman’s day by having to explain my choice of wardrobe to him/her. They’ve seen it all, I’m sure, but why take up someone’s time? Politicians scare me BIG time, but I’ll leave it at that – I don’t want to precipitate another thread closure, do I? :doh:

[Barbara Dugan]

I never been out...but I think I would be more scared of Hispanic women more than any other group :doh:

[Valerie1973]

I agree with you Barbra. I never go out, but the one time I did I went to a Ross. They were giggling and whispering, "es hombre" "si,si" -Valerie:heehee:

[Kathi Lake]

Great question, Miley. I actually had to think about it.

Truthfully, I'm not sure. Can I handle myself in most any situation - even in 4-inch stilettos? Sure. So, I'm not sure who makes me nervous.

Well, thinking about it a bit more, I think the only people that give me pause are guys. What I do I do not do for them. It is not my intent to lead them on. Not that I'm easily mistaken for a woman (*cough* understatement *cough*), but I hear stories of men who think one of us is a woman, and feel quite put out when they find out otherwise. Knowing that they're thinking with their dangly bits rather than their neurons does make me a bit nervous, now that I think about it.

Kathi

[Kate Simmons]

To be honest the ones that scare me the most are CD and TG people who don't have a clue as to where they are going or what they are trying to accomplish.

[erickka]

"OK, first and foremost - hicks. Rednecks, or whatever the latest term of endearment is for these morons. Anytime I have had problems with PPL acting like butts, it is them"

I live amongst some of the worst I've been around in years! If it ain't lookin' right to them, they just shoot it around these parts.

Your "hickville" friend is 100% right about these folks.

[Gerrijerry]

anyone who just looks over and is thinking that they should hurt me. IF it is only a comment I don't care. However there are a very very few that think they can hurt anyone who is different. Those people I watch out for. I go out anytime and everywhere but I always try to just fit in and never stand out. I have so far never been troubled by anyone. But I do carry mace. Personally I plan out where I go male or female. There are crazy people out there. I say plan your actions and stay with your plan, that has worked for me for a very long time.

[PretzelGirl]

SAs who won't help me! :heehee:

With my experience level, it is probably the teenagers. At their maturity level, they don't tend to hold back in general. I haven't had the experience of being called out in public yet, so it is something I haven't gotten past. Once that happens, I'll move on to another fear. :D

[Angel64]

To me is the police. Even though I have never been in trouble, somehow I wonder what would happen if they stop me for any reason while driving. :sad:

[Jorja]

Back in the days when I was still crossdressing, before transition, I was at a shopping mall at Christmas time. You can imagine how crowed it was. Well a group of teenage boys started taunting me. Soon, one yelled out, "Look it is a man dressed as a woman!". I wanted to die right then and there. What I did instead even surprised me. I turned around and curtsied saying thank you for pointing out to all these nice people that I am in fact a man who happens to like wearing womens clothing. If there is one thing I like as much it is kicking a loud mouths teeth down his throat. What are you going to do about it? After a couple of seconds I turned around and proceeded on my way to J C Penny's. The entire mall erupted in applause. Several people approched me saying how brave I was and thanked me for putting thoes boys in thier place. I told them that I wasn't that brave. I was pissed off because they ruined a shopping experience for me and simply smiled at them and went about my business.

[Loni]

as to being "read" it would be the teenage girls. nothing gets past them.
as for fear it would be the local darker minority boys. but then in some of places i must go for my job, they just seem to get into trouble any how over most anything.
it all depends on what subculture is in "said" area.
dressed or not keep to the "better" areas and there is much less trouble.
and yes having a ccw is a great way to feel better about ones security.
as for mace get only the foam with die in it. the "spray" will get back into your eyes.
but with some easy things to do with your hands even a 70 pound girl can take down a 200+ pound gorilla. :eek:

.

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[EllieOPKS]

I am still in the closet but I think my greatest fear would be being stopped by the police. The majority of cop cars carry video cameras and if you are made to get out of your vehicle, guess what! you are on a 'not so candid camera'. You have no privacy at that point, just ask any judge, so you could potentially end up on one of those TV shows. How fun would that be to explain to family & friends? Gives me shivers to think about it.

[Tara1967]

Young thug types scare me the most. And also groups of any kind.

[Chickhe]

The ones that scare me the most are people who don't have much to loose. Doesn't matter if I'm enfem or not. The only other people are the 'redneck'/low-life/biker type who make a comment and get offended no matter what you say... for those types I just let them talk and tend to agree with them until I can distance myself.

[MargaretJ]

I tend to stick to safe areas when out, I get a bit wary of single males, but the ones to watch out for are groups of males out for the evening, whether they are drunk or not, and groups of loud GG's who are on a night out and who have been drinking.

Ellie, I'm not sure, but I think if they want to use you in those police camera shows, they have to ask your permission first. This was, and to a small extent still is, a worry for me, but from what I've read on here, just be polite whatever the circumstances, and don't cause a scene, otherwise it will become a problem.

[AllieSF]

ME, when seeing myself in a mirror just before going out! Actually, what scares me when dressed is whatever scares me when I am in male mode, walking alone on a dark street in the city, seeing and hearing someone walking up behind me, etc.

Regarding being stopped by the police, please have no worry. They are there to protect everyone, including you. I have been stopped twice while driving late at night and both times the police were more than polite and professional.

[Debb]

Police are not a problem unless you run from them when they're trying to pull you over or talk to you.

I just talked to one the other evening while out for my walk. He had a question about some hoodlums sitting in a car, and I told him what I knew. There's no way he thought I was a woman, but he was professional and courteous, as almost all police are.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I would say groups of young males, specifically. One on one there’s no problem, but when boys herd together they get that pack mentality, doing things they normally wouldn’t do, all to impress girls or each other.


I have similar thoughts to this and also Erin's. One on one, no problem but when there's a pack of them.......could be interesting.


To be honest the ones that scare me the most are CD and TG people who don't have a clue as to where they are going or what they are trying to accomplish.

OMG - that's me :doh:
Direction-less - but having fun nonetheless.

[AmandaM]

Teenaged boys. They're the ones most likely to bother you.

[Transboy]

teens for sure i aint passable so i would stand out...that scares me the most

[Rachel Morley]

Well, first of all, I rarely get scared when I'm out in public (ignorance is bliss I guess) ... but there have been a couple of times I felt a little bit vulnerable and that's when I'm around what look like to me arrogant, ignorant, (possibly homophobic) macho, males (rednecks?) of any age. Thankfully I don't find myself in situations where I bump into these sorts of people very often.

The only other time was when a bunch of us were partying in San Francisco one weekend and it was really late at night we'd just come out of this bar and a couple of us went into a nearby drugstore where there were some "shady looking" people. This area of town is on the edge of the Tenderloin district of SF and late at night IMHO the Tenderloin can get a little bit nerve-wracking for the fainthearted or paranoid, like me :worried:

Anyway, that's my :2c: on what scares or has scared me.

[Sarah Doepner]

First and foremost is myself when I let the Dreaded Pink Fog take control, then I am likely to do something unwise and come in contact with some of the above mentioned groups of young men, rednecks, jerks, teenaged girls, S.A.'s who are unhelpful, etc. They are all worth keeping track of and if I'm not in posession of my basic senses, then they can become a problem.

[5150 Girl]

Don't worry about teens, they're all lip service, and nothing more.
Beered up inbread rednecks on the ohter hand are what scare me the most. Thease are the kind of people who tend to lash out at waht they don't understand

[Samantha Girl]

I'm not sure, teenagers I guess. It's funny cause I don't get worried about violence, I can handle myself. But the thought of having to have a confrontation with some ignorant jerk doesn't fill me with glee!

Although I have been out a lot more now en femme. Actually I've gone out dressed every Friday night for the last month or so. So IT DOES get easier for those wondering. Key things are going out with people you are VERY comfortable with and going places you'll feel okay with.

I kinda have this fantasy of someone starting crap with me out somewhere when I'm dressed. So I can point out to everyone what an ignorant fool they are and screaming You really want to go home all bloody and beaten and tell people you got your ass kicked by a transvestite? I have 5 inch platform kneeboots on everytime I go out, wanna see what kinda damage they can do?! :D

[TxKimberly]

Probably young men. Young women are more likely to spot us I think, but less likely to do or say anything offensive about it. Young men though, often do the dumbest things trying to show off and impress people, and it doesn't take a great deal of imagination to see them harassing a CD.

[Nicole Brown]

After many years of venturing out as Nicole, not very much scares me. I am always careful where I go and of my surroundings, and I try to think ahead and avoid possible situations and places were trouble might become an issue. Isn't this what most woman do??

[joann07]

For me, there's nobody I really fear.
I stay away from places where I shouldn't be, such as, a redneck bar.
But, at the public places I've been (i.e. malls, mainstream restaurants, airports, clubs), I don't fear being around people whether they're teenaged girls or boys, younger males and females, or older generations.

Hugs!

[Eva_nine]

OK, first and foremost - hicks. Rednecks, or whatever the latest term of endearment is for these morons. Anytime I have had problems with PPL acting like butts, it is them.

they are my biggest fear. they openly hate many minorites to their social groups approval, and to make things worse many of them carry guns or other weapons.

my town is primarily red necks, i dont even go out in my town en femme because of it, not that there is much to do in my small town anyway.

i also fear cops. my county police have a reputation for abusing their power.

[jenifer m.]

believe me no ones gonna bother you.besides whats the most thet can happen? if any thing they might snicker or make a distant comment but be confident and screw every body else.you have to live in your skin not them. so do what makes you happy no matter whats in your head.the more you do it the easier it gets.relax and enjoy your life i say.

[TonyaV]

To me is the police. Even though I have never been in trouble, somehow I wonder what would happen if they stop me for any reason while driving. :sad:

Yep, same here; just the simple embarrassment, I guess, if I get pulled over by one, knowing I am now recorded on video at some police department. Otherwise, I don't worry. I always go out packing heat for protection (licensed of course).