mother found clothes stash

[Dani941]

my mom though that a girl was at the house and was yelling cause she thought i was having sex. I havent come out yet and they ended up throwing away the few clothes that i had. What do I do?:sad:

[Anna Maria]

Start again love, sorry but that's the harsh reality. Or stop altogether until you have your own private space. If I was you I would be tempted to take the latter course of action for your own safety & future well being within your family.

[Chickhe]

Get a girl friend and dress up at her place...

[Proteus]

was yelling cause she thought i was having sex.
I don't get it. :confused:

[Mirani]

How old are you?

[Imogen_Mann]

Find a better place to hide your clothes ?

Come out to your mom ? ( I understand that may not be possible)

Dress elsewhere, but rememebr that comes with it's own disadvantages too.

Sorry I can't be more positive about things, but when you are in the position of having to hide clothes, life can be very tough. You don't mention your age ? Or your domestic situation. You may get more useful responses if you give us a little more background information to work with :straightface:

Time to go shopping I think ?

[RachelPortugal]

I don't get it. :confused:

I believe that Dan's mum does not approve of him having sex under her roof and the female clothes would make her suspect that a girlfriend had undressed in Dani's room at sometime, so she but two and two together and made "sex".


How old are you?

According to Dani's profile, :doh: he is 18 years old.

[pernille d]

not easy . i guess buy the fact your mum thought you where having sex it was lingeri/ nylons she found that makes her think the way she did .

my mum found my linger when i was 14 , that was many years ago but i remeber the day as if it was yesterday. we talked about it but the words crossdresser,TV never came into conversation .( more along the lines of being gay and that she woud still loveme what ever).That was that an no more was said i am 41 and there is still something between me and my mum and lingeri/nylons. nothing is said directly but all through my life there has been some hidden meanings,little puns or digs about sexy clothing .It is ok but a bit anoying as i dont know if she wants to know more or feels she has something to hold over me .

enough about me now you i would surgets you do what you feel is right as you know your family better than anyone else , but i would surget , to tell your mum exactly how it is and how you are. Of cause it will not be easy and your young but it will be better in the log run, as it will help you accept yourself . i have been in the closset until recently for over 30 years and i can tell you its not been fun being alone and having no surport. and if i could change things i would have told my mum the whole story when i had the chance .

just as extra info my mum too was agianst me and my girlfiend sleeping together and insisted she slept in another room , that lasted 2 nights as she kept wakeing us up both in my bed

[jessica renee]

This happened to me frequently as well when I was younger. My parent's reaction was to "ground" me and we also had the conversation about whether or not I was gay. My advice to you would be to be open and honest with your mom about it. If she is willing to discuss it, you might even want to show her this site or other sites where she and you can get reliable truthful information. Good luck to you.

[Jennifer in CO]

find a way to talk to her. If that means at this point going out and buying a pair of panties, then putting them in your normal wash (assuming she does your laundry), let her find them, then use it as an open door to talk. Doing it that way gives you time to prepare your "speech" for that day but you can be open and honest and hopefully improve your situation. I've shared elsewhere in the forum on how my Mom found my stash several times, put them out in the open, put them on my bed cleaned and folded, and put them in my dresser and closet. I'm sure in a way to say "lets talk" but I never did. Had I been more open then, things would have been much different at home.

Jenn

[Proteus]

I believe that Dan's mum does not approve of him having sex under her roof
I've heard that sentiment with young girls, but boys? Never...

All in the name of gender equality, I suppose... :thinking:

[Pythos]

Parents can be so thick in the head at times.

When my mom found my leggings she confronted me and started saying she thought I was gay, and really started insulting me.

At the time she confronted me, I was getting ready to GO TO MY GIRLFRIEND'S house.

As she yelled she thought brandishing the leggings in front of me was wise. It wasn't.

I snatched them, Put on a blue sweater, got neked below the waist and right in front of her, put on the offending item. Threw on some boots and said "Mom, if you think I am gay, then why in the hell am I now headed out the door to (insert girlfriend's name here) house?

She shut the hell up. Before I left I stood in front of her and said "she likes this!!!", and then left.

Sometimes you just gotta fight, this was when I was younger, and much more daring, it was also at a time when Macho was not so all over the place as it is these days.

[kym]

I've heard that sentiment with young girls, but boys? Never...

All in the name of gender equality, I suppose... :thinking:

maybe Danni is an only child and leads a sheltered life to some extent.

[Selene EV]

I would be out going through the garbage getting my stuff back when she isn't looking and find a better place to hide your clothes.

[Stephanie Miller]

I think a lot of suggestions to "just tell mom" are good hearted - but not thought out enough.
We are expecting Dani t be able to tell mom, and have her accept this part of her son, even though society (let alone Maury Povch :heehee:) has ingrained CD to be a low class of the human spectrum. We don't know if it is a very religious household, swingers or anything in between. Or how much CORRECT information mom has on the subject, or not, of bigenderism. (is that a word?)
If Dani is able to talk to mom and make her understand and accept in one foul swoop - then we all need to take notes of this conversation because she will have accomplished what all the rest of us have been striving to get the whole human population to accept now since.... well... a long time.
The part that Dani is getting yeld at for having sex at 18 gives me rise to concern that there is a strict household here. Could be wrong and totaly overthought. I just don't want Dani to blurt something without thinking it all out.

[AKAMichelle]

The best advice was get new stuff and find a new hiding place. Because the alternative is to tell mom and that may not be a good situation with you living in the same house.

[Loni]

get a foot locker for the foot of the bed. get a better one made of good wood and with a strong lock built in. great place to sit and put on shoes etc. and the lock will keep your moms eyes off things.

but it is her house...her rules.

from time to time put a feeler to her about cross dressing (be vage at first) to test the waters, see how see feels about it, moms will always love the kids.
my mom loves Loni and wants to go shopping with her...so far i have only been shopping with her in drab. lots of good times to be had.

good luck.

.

[DonnaT]

Depends.

If your folks are extremely conservative and might kick you out of the house, then find a way to get your clothes back or buy some more (thrift stores are cheap), and find a better hiding place, preferably one that locks.

If you know for sure they won't kick you out of the house, then tell them they are your clothes.

[Lorileah]

I would say tell mom. Otherwise you will be running and hiding forever.

And logically if a woman came and had sex at the house, did she go home partly or totally naked? Just saying why else would there be her clothes there, unless she moved in...did mom look under the bed? Maybe that explains the food in the fridge missing.....

[Dani941]

I think a lot of suggestions to "just tell mom" are good hearted - but not thought out enough.
We are expecting Dani t be able to tell mom, and have her accept this part of her son, even though society (let alone Maury Povch :heehee:) has ingrained CD to be a low class of the human spectrum. We don't know if it is a very religious household, swingers or anything in between. Or how much CORRECT information mom has on the subject, or not, of bigenderism. (is that a word?)
If Dani is able to talk to mom and make her understand and accept in one foul swoop - then we all need to take notes of this conversation because she will have accomplished what all the rest of us have been striving to get the whole human population to accept now since.... well... a long time.
The part that Dani is getting yeld at for having sex at 18 gives me rise to concern that there is a strict household here. Could be wrong and totaly overthought. I just don't want Dani to blurt something without thinking it all out.

Stephanie pretty has my situation at home figured out. My mom wasn't all too accepting when my sister came out of the closet as a lesbian, and like Stephanie said, my mom thinks crossdressers are mortal sinners and what-not. My mom is a bra-fitting specialist at the local JCPenney and she was telling me about how "weird" it was that a guy wanted to get fit for a bra when I was just thinking that that guy is just like the rest of us. I just don't know how to confront my mom about it. Also, I am leaving for college soon and I have a small dorm. I don't know if my college buddies are going to accept it either. I'm going to Southern IL University in Edwardsville. I don't know how people from Missouri and Southern IL treat people like us. I know up here in Chicago, many support the LGBT movement and such...but idk about other places.

[MsJanessa]

go shopping---for new clothes and your own place--if money problems, you need two things-a job and a room mate---one who has no problem with you dressing---good luck

[Charisma]

try a brief case with a combo lock!

I hid my stuff between the matress, in the pillow case, inside shoes or socks neatly folded in my own clothes and it was always found.

Never could get into a brief case without the combo, served that purpose well.

[nvlady]

"Mom my girlfriend wants her clothes back. I told her you threw them out and she thinks you should buy her new clothes, I wear a size" Wait a minute, maybe that needs a little bit more work.

[Christy_M]

Telling isn't always the easiest thing to do. In time, you will develop a plan for letting people kow about this part of your life but until you are ready, you need to find a better hiding place. I used to put my stuff under the bottom drawer of my night stand. I am sure there are many other great places that can be learned here.

[gemsay32]

I've always thought that this situation would be a good time to find a GF. Do you have one? Give her some clothes and let her wear them for you. And if you like how they feel then you can just feel her. Saves you stress and is more natural.

That's probably too idealistic. First, a GF is not a toy that you can use on your own time. Second, she might get creeped out by that. So maybe you do need something for yourself. Luckily, you said you'll be going to college soon. I think youth are more open to these kinds of things, but there're some guys that would be disgusted by it just like they'd be disgusted if they come into the room and see you doing a 1 hander. This is no more stressful than having to figure out how to get a 1 hander every once in a while without your roommate being bothered by it. I've never had a roommmate, but I think I have hardon all night when I'm alseep. If I was a roommate, I'd want to barf if I saw that. Is a strange world.

So no, I wouldn't worry about the roommate problem. It's just something you figure out as you go.

[DonnaT]

My mom is a bra-fitting specialist at the local JCPenney and she was telling me about how "weird" it was that a guy wanted to get fit for a bra when I was just thinking that that guy is just like the rest of us. I just don't know how to confront my mom about it.

Confront her while she's working. She'll ask what you are doing there, and you tell her your are looking for a new bra to replace the one she threw out.

Then ask her to measure you ;)

[mklinden2010]

Good questions.

Ask and answer them as you go along in life.

As to your post:

Realize that your mother's way of handling things is not very good.

Take the high road and let her yell, but make up your mind that this woman will not be of much help to you in life if she's going to yell her way through it.

Go to school, learn a trade, get a job, live your own life.

Nothing anybody can do about that except say, "Well, uh, good for you."

For now, you've sort of been busted. So has SHE... Something is "not right" but why face real facts when you can make up something that's easier to deal with? She'd rather make a scene and lay down some cover for both of you - as if you'd keep the girl's clothes and send the girl home without them.

How dumb is that idea?

But, at any rate... She lays down this smoke screen for a reason - so you can both pretend for a bit longer that it's almost a perfect world and that no one has to learn, adapt, and change in life to be happier.

In the long run, crossdressing is not going to be anyone's major problem in life.

Other people always will be.

You can get new clothes; but getting a new mother is to be a lot tougher...

Good luck with both projects.

[Christina Horton]

I told my Mom when I was like 22 and she wanted nothing to do with it but she still loved me. Then years later my sister came out as she is gay. So like you my mom does not like it but she loves us. It took mom till last year (I told her in 92) to be ok with my CDing and she has since been shopping with me and is ok with me getting dressed in her home but I'm not to shop dressed in town.

It might be ok or not but telling her unless you think she will disown you I think it's better to tell her. Cuz it might take years or never for her to except you. If she really love you she will still but she may not want you living in her home. So you (if) you choose to tell her to expect the worst but hope for the best.

We can't tell you the best thing to do (as smokey says) "only you".

Best of luck hun and good luck in school , study hard and don't give up on school or your fem-side. Don't ever purge cuz your CD for life.You will always be CD.

[Rachel Morley]

If your Mom had a "fit" when your sister came out as a lesbian and she doesn't like the idea of you having sex when you're 18 (an adult in many countries of the world) and she is obviously not ok with guys getting bra fittings then "the writing is on the wall" as it's obvious what's going to happen if you "fess up" :sad:

Get some new clothes, make sure you hide them better, keep quiet about it all, and just hope that things improve when you go to college. :straightface:

[anonymousinmaryland]

Dear Charisma (and others)
Yeah, mom's have this thing about clean sheets and bedclothes, and turning the mattresses every once in a while. Thought she was going to kill me. Remember it like it was yesterday. Yep.