What would you do if you found your children crossdressed?

[bettysmith]

I would support mine to the hilt , but it has got me thinking ?
I would direct them to another CD site for advice ie. not this one !!

Betty

[KrazyKat]

bettysmith, that's a rather unspecific question.

Do you mean children under the age of 18? Because we are not a site geared for ages under 18.

We have just recently added a youth section to try to expand the support group, including ages 18 to 25.

CD.com is trying to be a supportive group that has expanded to include more groups besides just CD's.

What is your thinking about why you don't think this is a good support group for young adults 18 or over? Just curious. Please be specific without bashing, if you would.:love:

[bettysmith]

Apologies , but you have misunderstood my thread !!

Its doesnt matter what age my children would be , I would support them !

My throw away comment , was that as "I" have joined this site and descibed my childhood as a CD in detail , I would prefer my children to get support elsewhere!!

This is a fab site for CD

[Vicki-Z]

I love my children more than anything. If I found out that one of my children crossdressed I would try to make them feel as comfortable as possible talking with me and discuss why they crossdress. When I know why they have taken up crossdressing then I would have a better idea how to help them. Yes I would let them know that I have a gender identity disorder and have crossdressed all my life. I would totally support my child and let them know that my love is unconditional and that I will always be an open ear for them to be able to discuss absolutely anything with me.

Vicki :love:

[Nikki A.]

Love my kids too and I would encourage them to be open with me. In that I am thinking of telling them about Nikki in the near future (if they haven't already guessed). How they want to handle it I would be there to support them.

[AKAMichelle]

I agree with you pointing them to another cd'ing website but which one?

The problem I have with what I would do is how much information am I prepared to share with them about myself. If you are in the closet then I think the response would be far different. If you are open then I would think the kids wouldn't have been caught because they would have talked with you about it.

[Stephenie S]

I would do nothing. I remember how mortified I was when younger at ANY talk even remotely concerned with sex. I would spare them the trauma. They'll be fine.

Stephie

[pernille d]

i remember how hard it was being a teenager and a crossdresser so i would just keep loveing/surporting them and be the best parent i could be , as long as they knew i was there for them if they ever needed me thats the best a parent can offer .They like us need to find themselfs like we all those years ago .

(on the funny side locking my clothng away would probably also save me a fortune in missinig/dammaged nylons :))

[karynspanties]

Found out my youngest had a thing for one piece bathing suits. Found his stash. Left it where it was.

[kimdl93]

I'd probably be discrete and just keep on being a loving and generally supportive parent. If he or she was troubled, I'd be there without reservation. If they needed advice/counselling, (no disrespect to this site) but I'd aim them towards a well qualified professional.

[Gaby2]

I've two daughters who are still quite young - one is in puberty though. I trust that they are and will be able to seek and find comfort and advice among their peers if they have any transgender tendancies.
Their mother and moreso I will accept and accomodate their wishes. My ex and I will be always be there for them, especially in times of grave crisis.
My first memories of noticing feminine cloths are from a very young age. I hope my kids aren't enduring needless embarrassment and fear as I continually did.
It's a never ending story and perhaps I can help best by never giving up trying to be honest with myself first.
Interesting topic and it doesn't surprise me to find it here. I'm discovering truths about crossdressing at numerous levels from frivolous to serious on this site.
gaby

[Pythos]

*takes deep breath*

I WOULD NOT TREAT IT LIKE A DISEASE!!!

Now that I have that out.

I would be absolutely honest with them, tell them it is a rough or lonely world. But if it feels good and they love it, they will have no issues with me.

I would not make them hide it, and possibly even encourage it.

That is what is needed.

I get so sad when I hear of a member here just continuing the pattern of shame and hiding.


If they felt they were in the wrong body, I would make sure that this was not a result of how society forces gender roles unfairly.

[Kate Simmons]

I always supported my kids for who they wanted to be and how they chose to express themselves as individuals.:)

[Toni_Lynn]

The first thing that I will say about this is a that will never, and I mean NEVER, suffer the hurt and abuse that I suffered at the hands of my mum. And I don't give a hoot if they are MTF or FTM.

That said, I think it would be mostly passive. If I found clothes, I'd let them be. If I caught them dressed, I'd act like nothing was out of the ordinary. If asked to buy things, I would, but only if asked to.

Yes I know, the big fantasy is that any of us have been dressed as a girl (hmm I have to ask in the FTM section of any of the guys got dressed as a boy) as a teen. But that is something that I would be active in. I would just be there to support my child.

My step son is autistic and 26 years old. He has CDed in the past. My wife and I have talked about how I would react if I saw him. I would compliment him and say "Looking Good!' and leave it at that.

Bottom line -- I love them to pieces and ... see paragraph a1 above! Hmm-- I'm actually crying now cause it wasn't like this for me.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[connie23]

I would do my best to accept that crossdressing is just a part of the whole person that I love in an unquestioning way. That said, I would try to be open to any opportunity to discuss how he felt about dressing and if he was feeling guilty or ashamed. I think there is almost nothing worse than being or feeling ashamed so if I heard that he was feeling like he "should" not be dressing as he wanted then I would try to reassure that it is OK and not wrong. If that did not help, I would do my best to find him a good understanding therapist to help him feel OK about himself and who he is.
What do you think?
Connie

[Frédérique]

What would you do if you found your children crossdressed?

Not applicable, but if I had children I’d be thrilled with any evidence of crossdressing. I would probably be torn between encouraging this innocent behavior openly, or leaving it completely undisturbed, hoping it would take root and grow all by itself. If the child wanted to crossdress all the time, MtF or FtM, I would be completely supportive. Easy for me to say, but I would’ve appreciated a sympathetic adult during my time in the wilderness of youth, if only to be picked up, hugged, and told I was beautiful by someone who loved me…

[PretzelGirl]

I think it depends on how open they are being when you find out. If they aren't trying to be open, any comment could send them back to the corner of the closet. That would probably create a situation of them isolating out of embarassment. Now if they are openly dressing and not trying to hide it, then a supporting environment is definately called for.

[Leyna]

I feel kinda bad reading all these supportive replies, but my first thought was....OMG! We can share clothes! :laughing:

[Fab Karen]

:eek:I have children?!:eek:

[Jilmac]

I have three sons and three daughters, I love them all dearly and unconditionally. If I found out that any of them enjoyed crossdressing I would give them my wholehearted support and encourage them to make the most of it.

[PetiteDuality]

I would throw all their male clothes, make them wear their girly stuff to school to ridicule him, call him names and take them to the shrink to cure him, and if it doesn't work then to military school were he will get some discipline!!!

Oh my god, what did I do to deserve that!!! :D:D:D

Now seriously, I probable would leave his stuff alone and wait for a good moment to talk about this. But I would not push him to talk about this. I remember being young too.

[Christy_M]

I love my kids unconditionally. I would feel sorry for them internally due to the stigmas of society but I would certainly try to give them encouragement and show them how many people have similar traits through internet research. I know I never had anything like the internet when I was trying to figure this out (still trying) and would have loved to have someone to talk to about it. I think being there and making sure they knew it was OK would be my plan.

[Proteus]

I'd be terrified that they would be treated badly or feeling bad for themselves because of it. But I would also respect their privacy and not interfere unless it's necessary.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well a bit late for ours 3 of as theyv known for some 6 years & all our grand kids 8 of know .
?? s would be, would they come to me our kids, to Jos first & may be me ,
Dejarn is the closest to me at 7 y 7 m have been with us so she knows every thing .

The detail is they see this kid often enough to not worry so ill have to wait, & iv not seen any back drops for them to even be this way . time will tell.

...noeleena

[FanciJewel]

If I discovered that my boys crossdressed, I would give them a hug and then give them advice. Walk with your head held high but be discrete with their crossdressing so as not to offend anyone.

I would then tell them my story of crossdressing.

Fanci

[t-girlxsophie]

If I found out if my son or stepsons crossdressed,I would be there to offer support and all the advice they needed.I would do anything in my power to help them understand what they are going through,after all I never had anyone to talk to when I started dressing,and I wouldn't be a good parent if I left them without my advice or support.

:hugs:Sophie xx

[vivianann]

I would totally accept my sons crossdressing if he were, I would mentor him so he would not make the same mistakes that I have in the past. I would encourage him to wear dresses if that were his desire.

[Stephanie Miller]

I would think the most important thing to do would be to sit them down and have a VERY, Very strick talk with them and lay down important ground rules right iff the bat. This is not childs play and must be taken as a first step..
1) If you use my mascara and don't tighten the lid - you better by a new one before I need it again.
2) You wear my clothes - you better wash, iron and hang before I need it again
3) Your friends are NOT to use my make-up
4) If you by chocolate - be ready to share
:tongueout

[Christina2008]

Tell them to take my clothes off and it’s wrong to borrow without asking first!

[juno]

Is this a trick question?

It is important for them to know that they are not "defective", but that there are lot of weirdos out there who don't understand crossdressing.

It is also important for adult crossdressers to be as open as possible so that transgender children are better accepted. There should be about as many children of crossdressers as there are crossdressing children. I look forward to a day when transgender is no longer a source of fear and anxiety.

Juno

[rickibarr]

I would be okay with it as long as my daughter is happy.

[HollyStorm]

I would beat him mercilessly, and let him know what a worthless sissy he is. When he is old enough I would send him off to military school.

Ok, maybe not, but unless someone gets me pregnant I don't plan on ever becoming a parent.

I think its reasonable to expect that everyone on this site would be understanding towards having a child with gender or alternative sexuality issues, or at least I would hope so.

[curiouslooker]

I think the title should be, What would you do if you found your son crossdressed? I say this because it is okay for girls to have on boys clothes.

Or, so that is what society accepts.

[Toni_Lynn]

I think the title should be, What would you do if you found your son crossdressed? I say this because it is okay for girls to have on boys clothes.

Or, so that is what society accepts.

I think you need to pay a visit to the FTM section of this board before you consider that to be your final answer!

ARGH! :Angry3: :Angry3: :Angry3:

Toni-Lynn
--in support of my brothers!

Fluffy is angry:

[RoxyDoxy]

Of course I'd just be supportive. It would only make since considering my situation, haha. I think it'd be important to discuss the potential issues they might face with this identity though - not to scare them, but just so they would be aware.