This is the sort of thing that holds us back

[Pythos]

I was just looking at the Wiki article concerning crossdressing, just to see what was said on this amature site. I came across this statement from a psychologist, that kinda ruffled my feathers.

"Some psychoanalysts today do not regard cross-dressing by itself a psychological problem, unless it interferes with the functioning of a person's life. "For instance," said Dr. Joseph Merlino, Senior Editor of the book Freud at 150: 21st Century Essays on a Man of Genius, "[suppose that]...I'm a cross-dresser and I don't want to keep it confined to my circle of friends, or my party circle, and I want to take that to my wife and I don't understand why she doesn't accept it, or I take it to my office and I don't understand why they don't accept it, then it's become a problem because it's interfering with my relationships and environment."[11]"

So if I read this right, it is fine if I hide what I do, but it becomes a psychological problem if I want to stop hiding, and exercise the rights that for some reason are restricted by society. That if I want to defeat the bigotry with powers in numbers. I don't get that kind of logic.

So essentially in the psychological stance it is better to hide and be kind to bigot's points of view.

I do think this wiki article is sorely missing the point.

[Gaby2]

Nice one Pythos!
But don't be too hard on Wiki nor the well-meaning writer - up to recently it had been the only trustworthy place on the net where I could find abundant information on crossdressing/aspects of transgender without being showered with nor distracted by pornography.
gaby:wave2:

[StaceyJane]

I think these people spend to much time analysing crossdressers and not enough time really getting to know them.
Perhaps they would have a better understanding if they went to Southern Comfort Conference and actually saw that people can enjoy crossdressing without all the baggage these writers attach to them.

[NathalieX66]

Wiki is way too generalized, unspecific, and open to anything. Would you trust (or even like) Dr. Phil to make an assessment of you? That's the level you get.

I look at life from the late Carl Sagan's perspective. I think we humans are way too miniscule and insignificant to matter much in this vast universe. dropping an A-bomb on Hiroshima seems far more troubling than anything, IMHO.

[Rianna Humble]

"For instance," said Dr. Joseph Merlino, ... "[suppose that]...I'm a cross-dresser and I don't want to keep it confined to my circle of friends, or my party circle, and I want to take that to my wife and I don't understand why she doesn't accept it, or I take it to my office and I don't understand why they don't accept it, then it's become a problem because it's interfering with my relationships and environment."

So if I read this right, it is fine if I hide what I do, but it becomes a psychological problem if I want to stop hiding, and exercise the rights that for some reason are restricted by society.

ICBW but I don't read that the same way as you and believe that the person quoted is trying to make a valid point:

There is no psychological problem per se in being a cross-dresser. However, rejection by those close to you can cause a psychological problem by interfering with your environment and relationships. Note that it is the rejection that interferes not the cross-dressing and it is the rejection that causes a problem.

I think that there is a fair amount of evidence on this forum that rejection by loved-ones or friends does cause distress and that his distress can lead to problems such as depression.

:2c:

[DonnaT]

Seems to me Dr. Joseph Merlino has mixed apples and oranges. A persons psychological problems are not the same as problems others have with that person.

[kellycan27]

Who reads this crap except cder's looking for information? Why would John Q seek to find out information on cross dressers? How does this hold us back? This is an obscure article written on a questionable site. I don't believe that the vast majority of society even cares about what we do much less take the time less seek out information on what makes us tick.
Look up.... The sky really isn't falling.:doh:

Kelly

[PretzelGirl]

I'm with Rianna. Notice that it doesn't say the problem is going to the wife or work. The problem is when they don't accept it. I think we have seen plenty of discussions here about non-accepting wives. Maybe not so much of the at work problems, but that is an entirely separate, and sometimes controlled situation.

[Jorja]

This is true but the great thing about wiki is it does get more accurate over time. The more people that contribute, the more accurate a source it becomes. It's only as good a source of information as the people who contribute to it. That's why I suggest everyone contribute to Wiki.

Vote with your words.

I agree with Penny Perfect, you don't like what the Wiki says contribute to it and rewrite it.

[DonniDarkness]

There is no psychological problem per se in being a cross-dresser. However, rejection by those close to you can cause a psychological problem by interfering with your environment and relationships. Note that it is the rejection that interferes not the cross-dressing and it is the rejection that causes a problem

I agree with Rianna's post. The context i read it in is factual cause and effect. Logic. He is saying that the cause is not wrong psychologically, but the rest of the worlds response has effect on our lives....if that response causes us grief personally it could cause a problem.

Message of the day: Dont Let Internet Stuff Bother You.

:love:
-Donni-

[Lucy_Bella]

I was just looking at the Wiki article concerning crossdressing, just to see what was said on this amature site. I came across this statement from a psychologist, that kinda ruffled my feathers.

"Some psychoanalysts today do not regard cross-dressing by itself a psychological problem, unless it interferes with the functioning of a person's life. "For instance," said Dr. Joseph Merlino, Senior Editor of the book Freud at 150: 21st Century Essays on a Man of Genius, "[suppose that]...I'm a cross-dresser and I don't want to keep it confined to my circle of friends, or my party circle, and I want to take that to my wife and I don't understand why she doesn't accept it, or I take it to my office and I don't understand why they don't accept it, then it's become a problem because it's interfering with my relationships and environment."[11]"

So if I read this right, it is fine if I hide what I do, but it becomes a psychological problem if I want to stop hiding, and exercise the rights that for some reason are restricted by society. That if I want to defeat the bigotry with powers in numbers. I don't get that kind of logic.

So essentially in the psychological stance it is better to hide and be kind to bigot's points of view.

I do think this wiki article is sorely missing the point.
Pythos,
They are some what correct or right on when it comes to my wife and her way of handling my CDing..She just didn't what to know about it ,she didn't want anyone else to know about it .She didn't want to see it and I think the way she thought about it she was jealous over it, because how much it relieved me.

[juno]

Obviously, Dr. Joseph Merlino has psychological problems of his own.

The side-effects he is referring to are clearly not examples of crossdressing being a psychological problem, even though the resulting stress can be. The world will be a far better place when people crossdress at work any time they want to.

Actually, it is not completely wrong, because it includes the qualifiers "and I don't understand why they don't accept it." In reality, all of us sane crossdressers know it is because those other people have problems, not us.

A realistic example is if crossdressing interferes with your life because you become obsessed with it, and neglect daily life. For example, you lose your jobs because you keep skipping work to spend time at home dressing. (i.e. when the "pink fog" has taken over.)

Juno

[Tara1967]

This is Tara1967’s wife, Suzie, here responding: Pythos, You said, “So essentially in the psychological stance it is better to hide and be kind to bigot's points of view.” I don’t believe you should confine yourself to those thoughts the rest of your life. You just need the right person/persons to “come out” to. And, you WILL know when you have met them. Tara just came out to me 4 months ago (he had “purged several yrs. ago because he felt no one in his life-AT THAT time would understand). Then-he met me 2 yrs. ago. I am a straight heterosexual woman married to a wonderful man. Because I had told my husband of my past “wild years” in my 20’s: Going to “gay bars” because I liked their music & could dance w/o worrying about being “hit on” by some drunk.(so sorry, if I offend) back in the 80’s; and being in the “Ladie’s room” with a CD’er. This CD’er, Debbie, asked if I would help her adjust her neck scarf? I did- without a second thought. I was in a female restroom with a man (dressed as a woman)…and I accepted ‘her’. Now, 30 years later…married to Tara: 1 day my husband & I were in a parking lot & HE noticed a CD’er coming out of the store. She was dressed in a very conservative woman’s suit. Hubby pointed her out to me. My response: “Oh, OK”-that’s cool”. BECAUSE of those (responses to) instances, Tara decided to come out to his loving wife. I helped her buy all the things she needed to be “FREE AGAIN”. I love it whenever I am HONORED to see Tara. Pythos, HANG IN THERE! You WILL find the right person to share your other side with. Maybe throw in some “innocent” inquiries (as Tara did). Please don’t give up! Love, Suzie.

[sissystephanie]

First things first! As was stated the article being quoted was from Wiki, which is very definitely an amatuer site!! That says enough!!

Now to the article itself: Crossdressing is a psychological disorder if one lets it be! That is what the doctor was stating in plain english. If it interfers with your life, or the lives of your family or friends, then it becomes a problem/disorder.

You either learn to live with it, or find the root problem and solve it with whomever is involved.

As many of you already know, I told my late wife I was a CD before we married. She accepted me "as is," and fully supported my CD activities for the almost 50 years we had together. But we did have some rules regarding CD things. Rules that I had to learn to live with! That is how we solved any problems that arose, and why we were able to keep the marriage intact for so long! Remember, when you are married there are two people involved in virtually every decision, not just the CD!! Pretty much the same thing applies tyo an SO, who is really loved!

[Pythos]

Kellycan27:

Really think about it.

It may not be a "Joe Bob" that is looking up info. It may be a wife of a cder, or a kid of said that would be looking up such info.

It could really scew such a person's view.

[kellycan27]

Kellycan27:

Really think about it.

It may not be a "Joe Bob" that is looking up info. It may be a wife of a cder, or a kid of said that would be looking up such info.

It could really scew such a person's view.

Honestly, I think I would give people more credit than to think that if they were searching for information on something that could very well be life altering, they would do a lot of research before making up their mind. That's what I would do, and I believe that most rational people would also.

[gemsay32]

First things first! As was stated the article being quoted was from Wiki, which is very definitely an amatuer site!! That says enough!!

Now to the article itself: Crossdressing is a psychological disorder if one lets it be! That is what the doctor was stating in plain english. If it interfers with your life, or the lives of your family or friends, then it becomes a problem/disorder.

You either learn to live with it, or find the root problem and solve it with whomever is involved.

As many of you already know, I told my late wife I was a CD before we married. She accepted me "as is," and fully supported my CD activities for the almost 50 years we had together. But we did have some rules regarding CD things. Rules that I had to learn to live with! That is how we solved any problems that arose, and why we were able to keep the marriage intact for so long! Remember, when you are married there are two people involved in virtually every decision, not just the CD!! Pretty much the same thing applies tyo an SO, who is really loved!

Reasoned response.

[noeleena]

Hi.
Ill hit this were it hurts there is no difference between dressing & rugby in N Z . that is just a if you like change of colours its still comes down to dress , clothes boots & balls . take it the right way please.

The time . money in the millons & all the rest . you cant get away from it its in your face all the time it just never stops if that is not mental, Psychologically & emotionaly wraped up with people & then for some one to say if you take it to work play family & school & where ever else ,
& then say we cant do this with our wearing of clothes because its not right . you see it suits only a few who dont wont to accept that may be we can wear clothes that are regarded for only women so back to my, kilt / skirt , & theres no probes there . its all about peoples mind sets & to how theyv been brought up.

So i go to work dressed as a rugby player whatll be said , for us itll be the all blacks .

& rugby ,,,is,,,, a psychological disorder to exstream & they get depressed & its so low if thier team has a loss . so its off to the pub & drown thier sorrows or smash things & hurt thier wifes & we have the police out to domestics ,
oh you say thats okay no probs its cool . hmmmm. yes right,
& all we wont to do is get dressed up have a high & fun & no one gets hurt. & thats not right . isnt life interesting or people i should say.

...noeleena...