my thinking right now

[erica12b]

Hello every one, I have not been around much this summer, spending time with my son, and thinking. I read all the great threads about how the wife / girlfriend are excepting, and even the threads where she knows but just will not talk about it, but if you take it as a whole cross dressing is a isolating, alienating, activity, if you come to except it you will live longer (my opinion) if you don’t it eats you up and the stress will kill you, (me)

I have been posting here for around five yr and have been trying to find a gg that will except me and share the experience, sadly im still looking, the gg, s are not lining up, lol
On the date sights some will talk and others talk about how they will save me lol but most ignore and so be it, some do tell me off, (they have a right to there beliefs too)

I have put myself in the isolation box and even thou I some times put a hand out most do not except us, (me) and for this we then have a hard time excepting our self’s, (me) but we continue to dress and go on.

1 We are the guys that never go out (we stay in and dress to the hilt with the shades
down)
2 we don’t talk much about the new girl at work (we want to tell her not those shoes with
that dress how could she)
3 at the mall we are the guys that are looking away all the time (we don’t want caught
looking at your makeup – how did she do that?)

Those like me in the closet and looking out, the secret can take on a life of its own and keeping the secret can lead to paranoia, lol (was that a car door,shit shit shit) lol but we just keep trying, and trying and trying, this post has no real insight, or moral question no answers its just what’s on my mind and how I feel right now, im going to keep trying. if you know any one in my area that wants a pen pal let me know, if you’re a gg, I don’t bit, if you’re a cd I can away talk ( have never meet one of the girls )

If you found any of the list funny add to it hugs Erica

[PretzelGirl]

Hang in there Erica. There are plenty of accepting ladies out there. One thing to think about is how are you presenting that you CD and when. Since you are trying, the plus is that you can learn from how things go. Unless you are near 24/7, it probably is okay to start developing a relationship first and tell before it goes too far.

I know it isn't easy, but it certainly can be done. There are too many here that have done it. :hugs:

[erica12b]

i know you are right, and im not 24/7 or even in the ball park with my dressing , just now and then for a hour or two, im trying to except myself, (more and more each day)

i know it can happen, ,from the post here , (just not for me) all i can do is keep trying right , (five years and still going)

[Angie G]

I'm out only to my wife who is accepting and helpful I don't go out but I have no real need of it. I truly hope you can find at least what I have. Never give up she may be the next one you meet.:hugs:
Angie

[erica12b]

first i half to get out and meet her lol im 44yr old and and it seams all i have ever done is hide lol i need to start to live , thanks for the advice , im trying

[vivianann]

Hi Erica, I know what you are going through, been there done that, what you need to do is accept yourself for being a cder, then you need to embrace it, love it, practice it, and have fun with it. crossdressing is a part of your personality, dont worry what someone might think of your crossdressing, most peaple are too busy to care anyway, and if anybody laughs at you who cares, I dont if someone were to laugh at me for wearing a dress. By accepting yourself for who you are, and embracing cding as part of who you are you will gain self confidence, the shame and guilt will go away, I kow this because I am living it. Since I have accepted myself for who I am, and embraced crossdressing in my life. I have gained alot of self confidence, and the freedom to dress as a woman in public when I feel like it. Peaple do pick up on my positive attitude and self confidence when I am dressed enfemme, and they accept me no matter what, even in Delta Colo. I was in Grand Junction the other day and had a wonderful day there, and yes I was enfemme, and even saw my self on tv with a wedding dress, we were on the 600 block on main street there. My friend was there with his fiance to buy a wedding dress, his fiance and I talked him into trying on a wedding dress, you should have been there, the women in that store were having a ball. What I am saying is have fun with it and let your personality shine, you never know when an accepting GG will come along and love you no matter what. I would love to help you in accepting cding as a part of your life, if you dont accept your cding no one else will. I know it takes time, but I am here to help, and your friend Raeleene here in Delta would like to help too, I have talked to her alot, and she knows who I am now.

[erica12b]

I do except it, I know it not going to go away, it’s part of me, but I don’t half to shout about it to the world, it’s a privet part of my life, now instead of finding a girl then sharing it with her after the relationship has started, I am using it as a opener and then trying to find a girl that is excepting of it, doing the going to tell her rout never worked out well for me, I don’t dress much but in time I may do more if I have the right girl to dress for and with, (if you know what I mean)

How is ra I have not talked with her in a long time she was having a hard time with her girl in school and the bf was not helping much, I having a ruff spell my self and just have not got back with her,

I would like to get more social; I am still putting my life back together from my divorce/debt lol but who isn’t .

[Kate Simmons]

Good to hear from you again Erica.:hugs:

[erica12b]

Its good to be back and heard from lol. Thanks

[kimdl93]

Best of Luck Erica - I know there are accepting GGs out there. I married one!