So, so confused...

[Haylie]

I've had a strong desire to crossdress for about 5 years now. But I've never been able to figure out whether or not it's a comfort thing or an identity thing or a sexual fetish. Most of the time when I think about crossdressing I get aroused (which has stopped me from going out dressed or telling anyone else). And a few years back I concluded that it was just a fetish and moved on with my life. But lately I've noticed that I've been thinking of crossdressing outside of a sexual context. Like I'll see a girl walk past in a dress and feel envious. Or I'll be walking through the mall and an attractive girl will walk past me and I'll notice how great her outfit is before I notice how attractive she is. Just a few things like that here and there.

I'm really quite amazingly confused so I was wondering if there was anyone else here who has ever felt this way or has any advice to give.

[Shari]

This forum has everything from soup to nuts and everything in between.

The thing I can't get over the most, is why so many constantly question their feelings and desires.

Do what makes you feel good as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else and most of all, enjoy!

[Chari]

Life moves too quickly not to enjoy something in every day! IMO, it is not wrong to explore your desires - as long as those desires do not cause harm to you or someone else. Only you can make the choice knowing what is comfortable for you at the moment.

[pantyhoselover]

I can't speak for everyone else, but many of us started out crossdressing with a strong sexual aspect (fetish, etc), and then slowly morphed into loving every part of the dressing/presenting process. I also love to watch GG's and their fashion details. For many of us I think the sexual aspect will always remain (me included). It's hard for many of us to accept our feelings because of years of societal conditioning and brainwashing. It's even more complicated when it involves a SO. Even with all the complications, I have learned to enjoy and love this special world we are part of.

[Kate Simmons]

The arousal is due to activating the kundalini energies, which goes back to our identity and recognizing who we are in a total way. Many of us (including myself) originally think this is related to sexual desire. Some keep it that way, some dig deeper. You have to decide for yourself what CDing means to you but for myself it was only the tip of the iceberg. Enjoy the journey.:battingeyelashes::)

[kimdl93]

I suspect that younger CDers find that there's a strong sexual undercurrent in the experience. But think of it - what doesn't turn on an 18 year old? It sounds like you are maturing beyond that state, and that allows the other elements of your interest to express themselves.

[Gaby2]

Welcome to the forum Haylie! You'll feel at home here. I admire you for identifying and tackling the thoughts that are confusing you. It all sounds so, so familiar
:hugs:
gaby

[Tara1967]

Don't try to fight it. It will always be with you, but try not to let it control you. I don't know when crossdressing began. But I have done it for years and years. And through those years come wisdoms from constant searching myself. Speaking for many of us I'd like to say, that we have been here for many years, knocking down trees and laying the asphalt for the others that follow, to walk life's journey of crossdressing. You are on the right path to be here on this site asking and seeking and to help you find the answers you seek about your confusion.
But probably the best way is to talk one on one with someone you can trust, and go back and forth expressing your feelings, and then on to a support group of many others like us to give you so much insight to your desires or lack therof. I can only give one of the many things I know about crossdressing , speaking only for myself, that if I could make it go away forever and to never have the desire ever again, I would do it. I came to the realization many years ago that this is what I am and I know this is what I will always be.The final decision wil be yours in the end, but you will have had the testimonies of many cd's that can and will help you with your feelings, good luck to you

[Gillian]

I appreciate the difficulty and dilemma you feel but as others have mentioned if you can talk to others and here is a mighty fine place to begin, it will clear itself in your mind.

I too began thinking it was sexual and as I developed found a wonderful sense of calm and deep satisfaction in being me as Gillian, I no longer feel jealousy of others as I can transform into my butterfly regularly.

Try it see how it feels and don't punish yourself too deeply when the guilt hits, if it hits this is inside you and not some "thing" you can turn on and off like a machine.

On the days I dress (such as today) I am feeling a warm sense of calm and deep deep pleasure completely different to arrousal I must admit.

[Nichola]

.
I'm really quite amazingly confused so I was wondering if there was anyone else here who has ever felt this way or has any advice to give.

I'm still as confused now as I was when I started.
I function normally in my everyday life but have never been able to stop the urge to crossdress. Sometimes I feel really messed up about it and think I'm just a freak.
My dressing is all in secret behind closed doors & when I do get the chance I get such a kick out of it. However, the feel good factor is often soon replaced by shame and embarrassment, which is something I'm still trying to deal with.

The only advice I can offer is the people here seem great & its somewhere you won't feel so alone.

Nichola

[Karinsamatha]

I was in the beginning. But as I learned more and more about my self it became apparent that this is something that is me. At that point I had to make a choice - to accept it and continue being me, or not accept and become a very unhappy camper. I chose to accept Karin, and continue on my journey.
:hugs:

[KathyC]

GGs do wear nicer clothes than guys in these days. Look at the guy next door, is he wearing those big, dirty, low rise jeans with the dirty as hell rock band t-shirt on? Is his hair so untidy but still having a decent amount of girlfriends?
I myself do use CDing as a bridge & try to figure out why so many cute girls into "below quality" guys.
I still don't have my answer up until now :(

[Jay Cee]

... But lately I've noticed that I've been thinking of crossdressing outside of a sexual context. Like I'll see a girl walk past in a dress and feel envious. Or I'll be walking through the mall and an attractive girl will walk past me and I'll notice how great her outfit is before I notice how attractive she is. Just a few things like that here and there...

Very much been there. I mistook what I felt when I saw an attractive woman as lust or attraction. But when I finally came clean with myself, and began to dress, I realized I was feeling a bit envoius of them.

There is nothing wrong with crossdressing, no matter what anyone in your life has said about it. Like Chari said, if it doesn't cause harm to you or anyone else... what's the big deal? It's not a crime.

The sexual aspect is also within the norm. Don't sweat it.

[erickka]

As it has been said, you have come to the right place to help you sort it all out. Everyone here is just top notch, and we are all more than happy to help you any way we can. Enjoy your stay here, and your journey through life.

Hugs, Erickka.

[claireinheels]

Hi ive been dressing for fetish reasons and dont see any problems with that i would probably dress for relaxation too if i could but as everyone who does it secretly and keeps it hidden knows its nice when you can get it . So no matter why you do it just enjoy being that lovely girl !

[boardpuppy]

Hi Haylie,
What you are feeling is normal. These are all stages of that girl inside of you forcing her way out. In this journey, you will come to gripes with things only to find something else comes along. When you get to your journey's end (whatever that may be) you will have completely excepted yourself. Untill that time, we are here to answer your questions and hopefully our experiences will make your journey a little bit easy'r.

Hugs,
Alice