Crossdressing normal or abnormal behavior

[Danni Bear]

Too much time on my hands again.

But in thinking about this I have to wonder. How much of what we perciece as normal is a product of society and how much is what we truely believe.

Personally to me, crossdressing is part of what makes me who I am. Normal, I don't know.

What strikes me as abnormal is forcing anybody to fit into a mold. Societal expectations on how we conform. Be they male or female roles. We are all part of each. Some more one than the other. Genetics shape us, society molds us, how much else depends on the individual.

Any ideas out there?
Just sitting here thinking out loud.


:hugs:
Danni Bear

[Missy]

what is normal

[Loni]

missy, took my thoughts..

please what is normal??

look around your town....what is normal?

look around your state....?

your country.....?

the whole world????


.

[LizaPond]

You want to see normal (for a man), go to any womens clothing store and look at the men standing there waiting for thier wifes to come out of the dressing room (holding thier purse and a pile of clothes). Look into thier eyes---that's normal if your a man.

Liza

[Steph.TS]

Society was designed early on, people over time change it slowly, the reason for this is everyone is worried about what everyone else thinks of them so they try to fit in, it's my thought that most people are 'OK' with socetieties idea of normalicy a handful of people think society is perfect, and crossdressers/transsexuals (there are other groups too) are ok with society but don't want to wait for society to change to start think of us as normal as if we did that, we'd probably be waiting another 20 - 60 years...

Honestly I don't think anyone here wants to wait that long to dress how we want. society's idea of normalicy changes because of the groups that aren't willing to wait for society, over time with society seeing more exposure to whatever the changing element is will gain acceptance.

[Rachel Morley]

I hear you. We have (or are) constantly beating ourselves up about what is and isn't "normal behavior" and what we should or shouldn't be doing on a day to day basis ... based upon societies perceived notions of what we are or aren't allowed to do. :Pullhair:

However, it seems like you have "stepped over that block in the road" and can see what really matters ..... your own personal happiness. That's the meaning of life ... to be happy ... (providing you don't hurt anyone in the process) :2c:

[Danni Bear]

Rachel, that block was more like a mountain. I've had a lot of help for a lot of years climbing it, much easier coming down the other side.

:hugs:
Danni

[erica12b]

when we are small kindergarden to first grade we start to find a senter of self and how we fit in most want to fit in and not stand out, as crossdressers this is when we first find that to fit in we must not dress how we would like to , if we do we stand out or are told its wrong or all the other neg things , the kids will not play with us
(i remeber wanting to dress in a nice dress but knowing the other kids (parents ) would make fun of me , so i hide the wish and did what ever i could to fit in, ) we learn to hide , deny, concel, coverup , the wish and the need the want and dezire, most of us want the other kids to play with us,

[michellesworld]

Normal to some people is lying in a tanning bed to get their skin darker while being exposed to UV rays that cause DNA mutations that increase the chance of skin cancer.

Normal to some people is living their life by an ancient religious scripture written in a time where people thought the world was flat.

Normal to some people is getting married multiple times, and having multiple divorces.

Normal to some people...

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

[eluuzion]

Norm was one of the beer guzzling characters on "Cheers".

Norms are defined by society.

In my world... Normal is a setting on a washing machine.

[Tara1967]

Normal?? ...........Normal????...... I don't think anyone can truly define what is normal.
A person can see their grandmother get up everyday for 40 years at 7:am, and they could call that normal. Normal for her. My mailman delivers mail monday though saturday between 11 and 2, and that is normal for him. I could go on with many norms on thousands of things. But I think here the originator of this thread is seeking an answer for cd'ing and wondering is it normal. For me, it is normal, for others it may not be. Normalities are as vast as stars in the sky or like the trillions of grains of sand on the beach. Non cd'ers would call cd'ers not normal, but yet I could witness them walking down the street sometimes talking to themseves and I may call that abnormal or not normal. I could actually write a book on "normal" but I don't have the time here nor the space. So I'll quit before I get behind. I think I'll sleep on it tonight. I will think of normal, or would it be normal?. I will never and no one will ever figure out nor successfully conclude what is normal. And neither will anyone figure out what is right and what is wrong. I'm done for this one, noraml is too deep a subject to define in this context. But one last thing it is normal for me to be dressed as a woman, while it is not for my neighbor.

[noeleena]

Hi,
Normal ,???

Im not normal to start with. hence that word does not apply to me . different , Oh yes ,
Now that does not say i did not do normal things or not like normal things . I just did not conform in every way that was expected of me being born differnt is a part of who you are wether others understand or not does not change who you are or in my case ,
Knowing your different helpes in understanding who you are ,
my advantage was or is , is allowing your self to be who you are in all that there is in you & for me to express that in a way that really is who i am , with out being told you are this or that . so i see normal now as im normal & this is who i am,

...noeleena...

[KellyG]

Normal is whatever people see on a regular basis. So every time a CD'er goes out in public dressed, they make CDing a little more normal.

[KathyC]

If you quit your day job, always staying away from friends & family, stay at home 24/7, always visit the VS website, what color of bra or panty I should wear today..
That is a tag off being normal:battingeyelashes:

[erickka]

Unfortunately, I have yet found anyone, anywhere, at any time, who can define "normal"

[Megan Thomas]

Unfortunately, I have yet found anyone, anywhere, at any time, who can define "normal"

adj.

1. Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: normal room temperature; one's normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.
2. Biology. Functioning or occurring in a natural way; lacking observable abnormalities or deficiencies.
3. (Abbr. n or N) Chemistry.
1. Designating a solution having one gram equivalent weight of solute per liter of solution.
2. Designating an aliphatic hydrocarbon having a straight and unbranched chain of carbon atoms.
4. Mathematics.
1. Being at right angles; perpendicular.
2. Perpendicular to the direction of a tangent line to a curve or a tangent plane to a surface.
5.
1. Relating to or characterized by average intelligence or development.
2. Free from mental illness; sane.

n.

1. Something normal; the standard: scored close to the normal.
2. The usual or expected state, form, amount, or degree.
3.
1. Correspondence to a norm.
2. An average.
4. Mathematics. A perpendicular, especially a perpendicular to a line tangent to a plane curve or to a plane tangent to a space curve.

:heehee:

[Emma England]

Normal is what the majority of the population gets upto.

Less than 50% of men crossdress, which makes it an abnormal activity.

But it is good to be different.

For a lot of guys, normal means short hair, bad breath, sweat, beer gut, lousy attitude etc. Who wants to be normal like this? Certainly not me.

[Joanne f]

I do not cross dress , it is society that says i do not me ,:haha::alien:

[jenifer m.]

i dont know. being girly or somewhare in between is normal for me.i dont like being forced to dress any perticular way.i feel most comfortable when in female clothing.normal is what one percieves it to be i guess.

[Jaydee]

A therapist once told us that there is no "normal". No one wants to be thought of as normal, everyone thinks of themselves as better than normal. It is just how you define better.

Jaydee

[DonniDarkness]

One of the best descriptions of normal, came from one of the most "out there" musicians i have ever met.

A little background as to why his definition hit home with me. This guy looks, in everyday attire, like he just walked off the set of "The Addams Family", drives a motorcycle that written on the tank says "If you dont like it.....dont look". His personal demeanor about life in general is just that.

We were on the subject of what is normal and he says:
If we worry about who thinks what is normal, then we are truly abnormal in its purest form.......Most dont care what is normal, so where does that leave the ones who care?

He means that if we take on the responsibility of trying to define what is normal, that in and of itself puts us in a state of being abnormal.

Everyone expects certain things to be a certain way, as long as they are by definition, what you personally expect them to be......

Heavy Stuff,
-Donni-

[sometimes_miss]

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
+1. I think each of us defines it differently.

[CallMeMeg]

Normal/abnormal refers to the bell curve of behaviour. If you fit in the middle percent, you're normal. If you're on the fringe, you're abnormal.

So my very tall son, and my very short son, are both abnormal.

I don't consider them so. I think if I told someone my tall boy is abnormal, they'd disagree.

It doesn't apply to everything, just what you want to apply it to.

I have all 32 teeth. Most people don't. I'm abnormal too?

Choice of clothes is not normal/abnormal behaviour. If it did, then anyone who wears clothing for religious purposes (Muslim burka, Jewish skullcap, Amish long coat) is on the edge of the curve and abnormal. The kid who wears torn jeans, or pants exposing his butt, is abnormal.

Einstein and da Vinci were abnormal. Probably, Moses and Jesus were as well.

It's a bad dichotomy, and a bad word.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I agree with so much in this thread. So often I've heard people comment on how I dress and say "That's kind of weird." Yes, it is. I dress weird, I dress abnormally even for a crossdresser. The thing that people don't seem to get though is that weird and abnormal aren't synonyms for "bad."

[Samantha Girl]

I'm a freak, I'm an artist, I have rarely been what society deems normal. I personally believe that the word normal is BS & completely useless. It is used to make unique & different individuals feel as though they(we, me) are doing something wrong :Angry3:

JiveTurkeyOnRye, very well said! ;)

[NathalieX66]

If there's such a thing as normal, I don't want any thing to do with it.:wine:
I think those who spend their time striving for normality are just insecure.
And then there are those living in such an abnormal state that they need normalcy to maintain sanity.

[Fab Karen]

normal? Who would want to be such a thing??
Cue the music- "I Am What I Am"

[Laura_Stephens]

Unfortunately, I have yet found anyone, anywhere, at any time, who can define "normal"

"Normal" is a term used in Statistics to descrbe the outer bounds of a function. Nothing more and nothing less.

"Normative" is a term often used in Economics to describe how something "should" work as opposed to how it "actually" works.

"normal" is one of those words that has been so frequently misused that it has lost its effective meaning -- kinda like "hero".

[DameErrant]

what is normal

Normal is just a statistical average based on a certain time and place, and the group that is being analyzed.
:eek:
There will always be people like us the the high side of the bell shaped curve.
:heehee:

[kimmy p]

So who's brain did you bring me then?

Abby someone.

Abby who?

Abby Normal.

And proud of it! :tongueout

[AKAMichelle]

I am happy to be among the abnormal.

[Andrea Reynolds]

Normal, I am told, is what others are and I am not. That makes me unique. I'm pleased with that. Andrea

[Tulip]

Norm was one of the beer guzzling characters on "Cheers".

Norms are defined by society.

In my world... Normal is a setting on a washing machine.

AAAHHHH I will stitch this on a pillow! Paint it on my office wall!

[Inna]

Ab....normal, remember "Young Frankenstein"? Come to think of it a perfect analogy for our situation. Whatever humans can not understand they beet to death with the stick. To them we are abnormal to us it is just us, watch out for sticks!

[Emma England]

I am normal.

It is most other people who has got it wrong.

[juno]

Normal means to be within the majority range of the bell curve. But, it is also normal to have a bell curve that extends beyond "normal". So, it is normal for some people to be abnormal. Futhermore, the odds of being normal in every way is essentially zero. Therefore, being completely normal is abnormal.

There is nothing wrong with the normal/abnormal classification in a purely statistical sense. The problem is that it is used by the general public to define behaviors as right or wrong. It is much better to use the terms majority and minority.

Juno

[Samantha Girl]

Juno said " Therefore, being completely normal is abnormal."

Ha ha ha! That is the best use of logic I think I've ever seen! Well played! ;)

[Samantha B L]

I've read some literature in the past which goes on to say that crossdressing is probably the result of a combination of inherited neurological and hormonal factors at work. So if it's built into a large percentage of the human population then really it's "normal" if we have to use that kind of terminology. I mean,I don't know what the exact percentage is,out of the entire American population but several million people dress and of course,there are huge numbers of women who dress as men.

[VanessaVW]

Was it considered normal to explore the Moon? Yet, we did it. Was it considered normal to allow women to vote (at that time)? Yet, enlightened folks decided to make changes.
Is your crossdressing hurting anyone? No? Then, enjoy who you are.

[lissetta]

Of a different drummer thats all.

[Lexine]

The idea of normalcy seems to be stemmed from the general opinion of a majority of people in a general area, depending on your location, demographic makeup (punny!), etc. At least that's my definition of it.

I don't think it's "normal," based off of the understood and general understanding of what CDing is, but I feel that in my area... which is Southern California... it is, in its own way, normal. And of course this normalcy doesn't just apply to CDing either... there's a lot of alternative lifestyles that thrive in SoCal, and that's fine for better or for worse.

So what did I do to make my CDing normal in my life? I made sure to get it to a level of normalcy that my friends can understand. Sometimes an explanation is enough to get people to see why you do it, and they just generally say, "Whatever floats your boat!"

Which, by the way, I've heard several times now ;)

[tricia_uktv]

For goodness sake what planet are most of us (and don't try to answer that)

We are abnormal!

And that is why it is so much fun and I'm having the time of my life :)

[Emma England]

For goodness sake what planet are most of us (and don't try to answer that):)

I am female, so I come from Venus!! :D

[Inna]

Normal shmormal, dude looks like a lady.......... Freakish, funny, weird, wow, what the heck, sick, needs help, wonderful, artistic type, flamboyant, gay..........
Yes, those type of thoughts are running through onlookers minds and depending on their outlook on life those thoughts are aether positive or negative, we can not do anything about it because that reaction is automatic, however, we are still the same. The only way to improve their reaction is through our ability of passability.

[docrobbysherry]

So who's brain did you bring me then?

Abby someone.

Abby who?

Abby Normal.

And proud of it! :tongueout


Ab....normal, remember "Young Frankenstein"? Come to think of it a perfect analogy for our situation. Whatever humans can not understand they beet to death with the stick. To them we are abnormal to us it is just us, watch out for sticks!

That supplied the Doc with "abby normal" brains? Wonder if he brought me mine!?:eek:

NONSENSE! How could ANYONE look at Sherry's pics and think, "abnormal"?:brolleyes:

[NicoleScott]

For many of us who grew up before the internet, the only information we could get about crossdressing was in psychology publications, which isn't exactly the study of normal behavior. Some compelling force inside us attracted us to women's clothing, shoes, hair, and makeup. Wearing those things felt normal behind a locked bathroom door, but abnormal on the other side of the door.