What happens when we've completed our cding bucket list?

[maya1love]

Hi all.

This question is really for the seasoned crossdresser who's "been there, done that".

I have been lucky to have explored my cding to a fairly large extent, but not to the extent that some of the gurls on here have. I have just started going out in public to mainstream places at night. What I usually do is to think up a cding goal/fantasy and then try and make it happen. Once I've achieved that goal, I don't tend to go back to wanting to relive that same experience again. I want to do something new. So...for all the seasoned cds who have flied en femme, made love while dressed, have found their true love, have been out in public, have the acceptance of their family, etc -- Do you still feel that there is more to do with your cding, or once you've gotten to the top of the mountain, there's nothing else to do and its time to move on from cd exploration?

This is a concern that I feel recently -- if I do everything, achieve every cd fantasy, will there be any desire to cd anymore...

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Maya

[Kate Simmons]

Well after I mastered the femme stuff, I went back to being a guy to discover my guy side(which I never really did). Not what everyone would do for sure and not for the faint of heart either but I'm pretty happy these days myself.:)

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't know about anyone else, although I still have a lot of things to check off the list I'm pretty happy just getting dressed and spending time en femme. No goals, nothing earth-shaking, just being me. If I manage to get something new off the list, so much the better, but that's not why I crossdress.

[AKAMichelle]

I don't think that cd'ing will end once you have done everything. I don't know about you but I don't think I could do everything anyway. I do feel like I am working my way through the bucket list a lot lately.

[RADER]

I guess we find a new Bucket. LOL :D

[Toni_Lynn]

Personally, I hope to enjoy the things on my CD bucket list that I'll want to go back and do them all over again! :)

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[kellycan27]

I don't know.. we can die happy? :)

[ReineD]

A GG I met on another forum years ago said that her husband had also done everything she wanted to in femme mode, and had even been on one of the national talk shows as her femme self, to promote awareness for TGs. She apparently could pass very well and no one could tell that she was a birth male. I don't know if hormones were involved or not. The husband was a magician and could perform as her femme self as well, so working as herself was not an issue.

Then the wife said that almost overnight, he stopped dressing, save for one earring that he always wore in one ear lobe and he didn't want to talk about being TG anymore.

At the time the wife felt that the next step for her husband would have been to transition, since like you, after progressing to the next level it was impossible for her husband to go back to being happy with the prior levels of expression. But transition would have meant losing the marriage. All of this had happened around 2004 or maybe 2005. The wife and I were on the same CD SO support list serv in 2006. I don't know what ever became of them or if the husband did decide to transition after a period of trying to stop expressing herself.

[sterling12]

To paraphrase Groucho: "Then The Duck comes down, and you collect $50!"

Trust me, your "Bucket List" will never be completed. You accomplish one thing, and it leads to something else. Golly, I think most of Life is just like that!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Alice Torn]

Denise, Interesting comments. Maybe some of us, me included, if we want balance, need to explore and nurture that other side of us. I mean the cders who like having both sides nurtured. As you always say, integrating the two in a balanced person, who no longer is dressing under compulsion, so much.

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with Toni-Lynn :)

[TxKimberly]

Start over at the top . . .

[kellycan27]

Start over at the top . . .

Kim, have toy crossed the swimming pool demo off your list?:heehee:

[KristinSkye]

I am most certainly not a seasoned or experienced crossdresser but I personally compare it to my love of Jeeps and off-roading.

When you own a Jeep and start to modify it and enjoy it there's no stopping it. You say "oh, I'll never need a winch I don't get too serious off pavement" and the next thing you know theres a winch on your front bumper...just went you think you've reached the crest of the mountain something else new comes along.

Odd analogy I know, but like sterling said once you accomplish one goal it's just human nature to set another!

[Dee Model]

A few years ago, after I'd gone out dressed a few times...felt the knife-edge thrill of jumping off the highest diving board, I found that I did think 'been there, done that...whatever'.

I lost interest for a long time...perhaps because I'd achieved what I set out to. But then, some trigger propelled me once more into a world of short skirts, tight dresses, killer make-up, and (if you are anything like me), vivacious behaviour.

I started getting into web-cam stuff for about...well, a week. I soon tired of it and wanted the real thing. For me, as an unashamedly bisexual* cross-dresser, that meant a real man.

So anyway, after I'd done all that stuff I lost interest again!

However, being sufficiently experienced in the whimical ways of a t-girl, I did not chuck out all my clothes and start acting like a mono-persona guy...I simply left my Dee side in hibernation. She came back; I came back...well an intrinsic part of me at any rate.

I've lived in this maze of dual-personadom (a word I've just invented) long enough to realise that wherever Dee is she sure ain't going nowhere. Just this year I realised that I'm a girl of the dark nights; the winter is where Dee's star shines brightest (sorry about the purple prose, I'll keep it to minimum).

Anywhere, where several years ago I'd probably have purged, now I know to let sleeping dogs (thou...dog, no - ****,yes but-that's-a-good-thing!) lie.

Anyway right, my thang is...to paraphrase Samual Johnson, if you're tired of CDing, you're tired of life babe.

*For a holisitic definiton of the misnomer that is 'bisexual', check this out:

http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola (http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/bisexual.html)
/bisexual.html (http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/bisexual.html)

[t-girlxsophie]

No reason why we can't do things twice:heehee:.I have done so many amazing things,and still believe there Is more to come.In my Old Age I want to look back on my Life and think."You know,I lived my life to the full and had so much fun doing it.NO REGRETS"

:hugs:Sophie xx

[VeronicaMoonlit]

and had even been on one of the national talk shows as her femme self, to promote awareness for TGs. The husband was a magician and could perform as her femme self as well, so working as herself was not an issue.

I don't know what ever became of them or if the husband did decide to transition after a period of trying to stop expressing herself.

Sounds like Lacey Leigh, whom I knew from USENET. She was pretty open about her crossdressing, had to be when she got outed to other magicians by someone on USENET. She was one of those that encouraged me in my early days on the net. Like TxKimberly here, she was also a member of the Vanity Club. She also self published a couple of books.

http://www.amazon.com/Out-About-Crossdresser-Lacey-Leigh/dp/0971668000/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281406624&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Successful-Crossdressers-Lacey-Leigh/dp/0971668019/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281406624&sr=1-2

Hmmm, her web site is gone.

Veronica

[ReineD]

Hmm .. I remember the name, and I do remember her wife, but the person who posted this story was most definitely not Lacey Leigh's wife. Maybe I got my wires crossed about being a magician though. It was 4 years ago, lol. As far as I know, Lacey Leigh never stopped presenting femme.

[joann07]

For me, I've been crossdressing for nearly 4 years and I am to the point where I am very comfortable with myself that I can go anywhere to any place whether it's mainstream or TG friendly. I've accomplished so many things in such a short period of time, such as, flying in femme, going to the movies, going to the beach, shopping at the local grocery store, dining out at mainstream restaurants, guest speaking in a college class, going out clubbing with a group of GGs, just to name a few off the top of my head. But, I know I still have a lot more things to do and accomplish. Some of the things I have on my "to-do" list is to go to a major sporting event or play sports in femme (i.e. tennis). I used to think about what I want to do next, but I mostly do things without thinking about it. I just go out and do it without feeling nervous or hesitant.

Hugs!

[StaceyJane]

I always like to find new adventures for myself. I can't imagine not wanting to cd because cding is something i've always wanted to do.

[Phoebe Reece]

I've crossed a lot of things off my CD bucket list, but it hasn't lessened my desire to have more CD adventures. A mountain climber doesn't quit climbing just because he (or she) managed to get to the top of Mount Everest. They just go climb different mountains. The world is a big place and I don't think I could ever run out of interesting places to explore en femme.

[maya1love]

Wonderful responses, thank you!

[Megan70]

.... and there are more just like this one. as you mentioned I've been an experienced CD for 50 years and have done it all except have sex with a man, and told close personal friends of my secret life.
This is what i HAVE done which is now only repetitive these past ten years. Been there, done that. Have an accepting wife,who goes out with me dressed, made love together while dressed. been to concerts, movies,clubbing, grocery shopping, restaurants, shopping, browsing, using my femme voice all the time as Megan. Bought and tried on clothes dressed, got to know sales girls as Megan in Fashion Bug and Dress Barn.
been there, done that. Really nothing new to explore and seek out, but I have not gotten tired of it. Sometimes take a break now and then.

[holly_n_ok]

Maya I dont see how you can ever do everything in your bucket list. I mean it would take you untill your 90 to meet everyone of us sexy girls on this site. I mean Oklahoma is a long way from Toronto! :D

[Eva_nine]

Would you get bored of life just because you have done everything on a list of things to do? No! there is always tomorrow to experience something new. that is what makes life great.

[Tara1967]

Well I have cd'd all of my life in private, and thought I was a freak or something. But finally, just this past april I told my new wife of one year. She was so accepting and we have enjoyed talking and exploring all that there is about me by way of cd'ing. At first she had me stereotyped, etc. I had always wanted to come out to someone, not just anyone but the one I love. So for my bucket list I have come out, went to the store at night, then to hardee's, I'm just taking baby steps at first. But we're going to the SCC in sept. It will be a first for that. I have made love while crossdressed. After the trip, I may just do it only at home but I know I'll never totally give it up.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Well..I didn't start out with a Bucket List...I just dressed and discovered that my feminine side feel right..it was what was missing.

Stuff on my list? Maybe a walk on a beach early in the morning. I havent yet be could of time demands. Maybe a professional photo shot.


I am a woman so sure I am doing everything over and over.


Em

[Tranny Tee]

Without a 'bucket list' I just keep trying to do different things and push myself a litttle farther.

[sometimes_miss]

It took me a couple of moments to realize that I don't have a list. And I was kind of surprised at the concept because it never dawned on me to have one. I guess it all depends on what we get out of doing it; for some, the thrill, or excitement that might be experienced may do it, to keep searching for a new 'high'. But some of us don't get a thrill, it's kind of the reverse. I often fall asleep when I'm dressed, and when I wake up, it takes me a little while to even really notice what I'm wearing because it feels so 'normal' for me at this point to be wearing female clothing. I think maybe several years ago, I had a list of sorts, of clothes that I wanted to get to wear, but other than having someone dress me up in a wedding gown, I have all those outfits now (and no longer really want the wedding gown; they're too much trouble to wear, and I wouldn't get the experience that I wanted out of it anyway). Whenever I see someone wearing something pretty, that I envy because of how nice she looks, I think to myself, 'I want to look like that'. But that type of list would go on forever, because I see so many pretty women every day.

[Tina B.]

If completing a list makes you want to stop dressing, I'm glad I never started a list! I have never needed any other goal with dressing but being dressed, anything else is just a bonus.
Tina B.

[Miss Misery]

[
Been to the top of the mountain


I like an old Haitian saying that I picked up from a book by the same title "Mountains Beyond Mountains" - always another mountain beyond the one you just climbed. BTW - the book is about one of THE GREAT humans on the planet today - Paul Farmer. Read it some time.

Overall, I think the bucket list lends itself to this end. If you make a list of things to do, what do you do when you're done? Everyone has some things (CD related or not) that they'd like to do before they die - some are fantasy, that will never come about.

I do also wonder about how our individual early CD experiences (or just our history) influence the "need" to up the ante and go further. Is some of it the "charge" we got out of doing something that was taboo and risking getting caught? That seemed to be a lot of my own personal overall rebellious behavior as a teen.

The potential escalation from CDing to transformation or sexual relations w/ a male ...... is something that I think scares the "p..p" out of many GG's. Just how far will it go?

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Maya,

It concerns me too and I'm about to go dressed to work. I met a guy a couple of weeks ago who asked how long I had been dressing. I told him about three years. He told me how different it was after seven years. He was open, truthful and honest. For me though its not really about ticking things off lists. Its more about being myself (though I do tickthings off my list as well). I simply love expressing my feminine side. But I suppose, only time will tell.

[Lexine]

I would imagine I'd just do it all over again, just like Kim :D

[kellycan27]

I would imagine I'd just do it all over again, just like Kim :D

Kim is still working on the first list....:D

[Lexine]

Kim is still working on the first list....:D

LOL I meant what she said she was going to do LOL

[kellycan27]

LOL I meant what she said she was going to do LOL

Kims knows what I am talking about.. My remark was aimed at her....:heehee:

[TxKimberly]

LOL I meant what she said she was going to do LOL


Kims knows what I am talking about.. My remark was aimed at her....:heehee:

Oh yeah, most definitely still working on the first list 'cause there are lots of things left to be done! Number one on my list is to go to a huge symphony and sit with in spitting distance of the orchestra while they play the Pops. You can keep the majority of the the Bach and Beethoven - I wanna hear the James Bond themes, New York New York, Moon River, Memory, Biscaya, etc, etc.
Pretty sure I'll never run out of things that I want to do . . .

[maya1love]

Hey Kimberley -- that doesn't sound like such a difficult thing for you to do...you are out and about everywhere! Why not get all dressed up and go to symphony? I don't think you'd have any problem! Actually, I find that when we dress up well, we get treated well. I'd like to get all dressed up and see a nice musical, myself.

[TxKimberly]

Hey Kimberley -- that doesn't sound like such a difficult thing for you to do...you are out and about everywhere! Why not get all dressed up and go to symphony? I don't think you'd have any problem! Actually, I find that when we dress up well, we get treated well. I'd like to get all dressed up and see a nice musical, myself.

Sure! Let's do it together the next time I get to Toronto! :D

[Chickhe]

I have several buckets and it weems like there is never enough time to empty even one. But for the CDing one, I find my motivation changes as I experience more... the fear is gone, I accept myself, the strong compulsions are gone and I don't feel all that femine when dressed, but I still enjoy dressing up and it is becoming fun to do..sort of like acting or wearing a costume.

[faltenrock]

I can relate to that. Yes I've had those 'goals'. I go out dressed since about 15 years and have done most things already except flying en femme or going on a boat or into a museum. I enjoy repeating these things as much as I enjoyed it the first time.

[Danni Bear]

just get a bigger bucket, and dump more in.

take till cows come home for little one
and thats just not long enough



Danni :hugs:

[Gerrijerry]

This may be news to some but not everyone crossdresses to compete a bucket list. In fact there many be some who simple enjoy dressing as a woman and having a feminine side.

[noeleena]

Hi,

As i was going through the posts . i was thinking a list or goals that some of you have set things to do & enjoy. & when you get there or done what you think is all there is to do ,
Are you going to stop . as from your pics , you could join some groups danceing or what ever. theres a whole world out there......come on .....youv got the looks & my women friends from our edwardian group just think you look so devine so female femmine so beutifull.

You get my point & they have seen some of those who where dressed , & when i said to them they are all males , they looked at me & said .....no .....they looked again & said .....WOW.....& the comments were so nice to hear ,

in our group i do all the camara work some 2000 pics so far & ill do a mag & take pics of our group so that gives you an idear of what our women think of **our** community & those who are dressing in thier finery. & that means you all here as well.

They have accepted who i am & we get on well so if they trust me with this photography & all they know what i do . that shows thier trust of me..

Okay i may just have one tiny bit of an advantge they see me as a woman .(( fine print ))
i am . but hey they know my background .

Yous have the looks & when i take ,,,your,,, pics . ill stay behind the camara.
...noeleena...