What IF

[Danni Bear]

I KNOW :brolleyes: not another what if thread.


Bear with me please.
Hopefully this is a different slant. One that will start us thinking.
Not only the CD'ers but also the S.O.'s their input is invalueable.


So here goes nothing or maybe something. Only time will tell.


What if you woke tomorrow and the roles were reversed. You were the S.O. and they were the CDer.

1.Would your feelings about crossdressing change? If so how ?

2.Would or could you tell your S.O. about it?

3.Would you want to know about it and accept it?

4. How would you react if finding out after years of hiding and deciet?

5.Would it change your life for the better or worse?



The reasons aren't really important except to each individual. How we treat that person in each of our lives is.

Being honest and open to yourself is.

Hoping that this gives us all pause, time. to think,to consider what this means to us and how it affects our loved ones.

love and kisses to all
Danni Beard

[sandra-leigh]

I never find these "Imagine it was your spouse that wanted to cross-dress" threads to be of any benefit. (Okay, one of them last year had some points that were more thoughtful than usual.) I find this (often-repeated) theme to be usually an exercise in guilt-tripping the CD-er. I won't play that game.

[Danni Bear]

Sandra,

no that was not my intent at all.
I'm honestly interested in everyones thoughts.
not guilt trips but how they honestly feel.
This was a point brought up by my therapist to me at a session. I like so many others went on a guilt trip over it. He stopped me cold in the middle of it and told me to stop,think,and write down what I was saying.Now read it he said,is that you or is it guilt over your life. it was guilt, it was a revelation. it caused me to reexamine a lot of things that I didn't want to look at.

Danni

[ReineD]

I dunno Danni, for someone who's life is as good as yours, with both you and your wife transitioning at the same time and renewing your vows in your new genders with the full support of all your kids, you do seem to be questioning the wisdom of doing such things quite a bit.

Are you sure everything's OK in your camp? Perhaps you could just talk about your own personal experiences, your own fears, and leave it at that.

Why are you going on full guilt trips if you have the support and blessing of everyone in your life? I'd be kicking my heels in joy if I were a TS in your shoes. :)

[DeeInGeorgia]

I concur with Sandra. My experience is that the person that decides to marry you does so from the unconsious cues you give out. You can wine and dine them, but your actions that you are totally unaware of are the deciding factor.

So they marry you because of your feminine gender traits. As long as you express them unaware, then no problems, but when you express them openly, leading to percieved embarassment, they want to run away and hide.

As a girlfriend once told me as her reason for dumping me, "I am kind of shy, and I want a man that I can bask in his glory, that I gain recognition by being the spouse of a powerful person".

It explained why I was treated by women the way I was, why asked out 62 women, dated 28 of them, ended up moving to another state to find a woman that appreciated me for all my unaware gender nonconforming traits.

Of clurse, those that have not taken the time to appreciate a person's traits before marriage have a strike against them anyway, regardless of gender nonconformity.