just had to get this out

[wtb Jessica]

Not sure if this belongs hear or not but. I finaly broke down and set up an appontment to go see a therapist to try and figure things out in my life. Mainly to talk about my fem side and see where it might go. But not sure when or if i will say anything about my fem side. Kinda nervus and scared all at the same time. The appontment is in less than a month. just don't know what to do. part of me want to talk and get it out there but part of me dosen't:idontknow:

[kimdl93]

Jess, you need to be totally open withyour therarpist. Otherwise they ant' really be of assistance to you - and that is what they're there for. Just let her/him talke with you about who you are, who you might want to be.etc....and be totally open about your fem side... that simple act of acknwowledging yoruself will be a big step forward

[Sandra Dunn]

First question I have is the therapist TG knowledgable? If so let it all out, that's way you are going isn't it? To talk about your fem side. I did a lot of research and even turned in a few papers on the third gender concept before I went to a therapist and the main reason I went was so I could start the process of transitioning. That's just me. Most folks need to visit a therapist to just blurt it out and hear their voice saying those words that need to be said.

I would suggest a monthly visit and not a weekly or bi-monthly visit. Once you get what needs to be said said then you'll be able to make a decision of continueing or not or adjusting the visits.

It's just taking that first step that scares the pooh out of ya. Once you get it out you should feel much better about you.

HUGS Sandra

[StaceyJane]

Going to see a therapist can be a really good experience.
The key is to be open and honest about everything. There is no need to hide anything.
I've been seeing a therapist for a few months about my gender issues. I went in without trying to force anything. I didn't say "I want to start hormones right now" and I haven't started hormones but I have had some really good in depth discussions about myself.

You control the conversation. Sometimes I have other family issues to discuss and I really don't talk about transitioning or cding at all even though I always go as Stacey.

[jazmine]

i know where you are coming from. Just realize that everything doesn't need to be talked about or figured out in a day or week or whatever. If you keep an open state of mind, the universe tends to step in and guides us. Humans tend to be obsessed with "destinations" and "finished,figured out" projects. The real treasure that so often gets overlooked and passed off as the necessary evil...is the journey. And that also applies to the journey towards "self".

Travel well my friend, and most of all...have fun.

[AKAMichelle]

Talk to the therapist. The talk will do you good. :D

[Loni]

i say you must talk to her...but be guarded in what you tell her.

my family was split apart due to my mom thinking what she told her therapist was held and not told. the cpc was called in on my sister and her husband.
my mom had only stated she felt he was to hard on the kids...but what grandma does not think this.

not seen my sister or my niece and nephew in 20 years. :sad:


.

[Tara1967]

I do not beleive in therapists. About 30 years ago I went to several so called therapists(at my then wife's request). It's all a racket and a gimmick. They just want your money and that's the bottom line, Every last one of them of every walk and type for which they claim they are. I speak from experience from when I beleived the world. I will make this very short and end with a question, Was there a such thing as a "Therapist" 150 years ago????? 2 guys talked, created a market, talked some more about it, then certified eachother, then started charging $200 per hour to talk to you , for THEY are experts. HELL my marriage councelor had been divorced 3 times, didn't matter to him and then later her, for they had a little ole' certificate on their wall. I had a blast way back then...lol..lol.
love Tara

[sandra-leigh]

My GP recommended therapy to me, and the recommended place happened to be fairly close by so I went right over and left the referral. The recommendation was for me specifically (my GP didn't know about my dressing at the time), but I called my wife and said where I was and said I wanted both of us to go to therapy as well. The couples therapist was a different person than the individual therapist. In both the joint therapy and individual therapy, the cross-dressing was raised in the very first session -- not as the most important thing, but as one of the important factors needed to be known to understand my/our situation.

The joint therapist considered my dressing to be of pretty low priority compared to other things my wife and I needed to solve first, like communications and commitment and anger / frustration management. As far as the therapist was concerned, without those basics in place as a foundation, there wasn't any point in getting into the dressing or even some of the more pressing issues.

Anyhow, the point here was that as far as I was concerned, the therapists were not going to be able to give relevant advice without knowing the key issues. And it seemed to me to be pretty relevant to individual treatment that I was fairly Depressed but that I felt much much better and was much more social when I was out Dressed, and that that was nearly the only thing that I'd found that worked even a fraction as well. My key question from the first session to my individual therapist was not "How do I cure this" or "How do I transition": it was "How do I take the good things I find in dressing and bring them in to my every-day life?"

[tammygirl79]

This is a great step for you, even if you don't fully realize it yet. You need to be open & honest and see what comes of it. Don't be embarrased or ashamed or scared. That is what he is there for.....to help you through this. I would be willing to bet that once you open up to him, you will feel a wave of relief come over you....i don't think you would regret it at all. But, you have to do what you are comfortable with. If you are not ready, then you are not ready. No matter what you decide....i wish you the best of luck sweetie :)

[Christy_M]

I have to admit, seing the right therapist is a huge relief. The first question I asked when I found one I was willing to actually visit was what her experience is with GID. she told me it was limited but thought she would be able to apply other techniques in the beginning as she got more information on the subject. My 2nd visit she was incredibly prepared and has given me a great opportunity to talk and rationalize and develop.

On another note, I met with a therapist a few years ago who had no experience with GID and after the first conversation, it never came up again. it was as if I never mentioned it. what a waste of my insurance company's money...

[kimdl93]

go with the part of you that wants to talk....its really the only way to go in therapy. It is such a relief.

when I "came out" to my therapist it opened the conversation and she made me realize that my issues were only really problems in my head...its not a crime to wear women's clothes, its not a disgrace to wish you were a girl...or to live accordingly. Until then, I just had not accepted myself.

[suzy1]

I do not beleive in therapists. About 30 years ago I went to several so called therapists(at my then wife's request). It's all a racket and a gimmick. They just want your money and that's the bottom line, Every last one of them of every walk and type for which they claim they are. I speak from experience from when I beleived the world. I will make this very short and end with a question, Was there a such thing as a "Therapist" 150 years ago????? 2 guys talked, created a market, talked some more about it, then certified eachother, then started charging $200 per hour to talk to you , for THEY are experts. HELL my marriage councelor had been divorced 3 times, didn't matter to him and then later her, for they had a little ole' certificate on their wall. I had a blast way back then...lol..lol.
love Tara

I wanted to say something like this but was too scared to. I’m British so that explains why I think they are a joke.

[Victoria Anne]

Seeing a therapist is a step in the right direction but you need to be sure it is a therapist that has and is familiar with gender therapy. Above all else be honest and open with him/her , if you do not you ARE WASTING their time and yours . You will be amazed at how you will feel afterwards , just getting that weight off your chest will help you. Good luck and let us know how it went. It is not as scary as you think.

[Philipa Jane]

I cannot agree strongly enough with a lot of what has been written here about the benefits of talking to a complete stranger.
Hopefully it is a real therapist.

If the person is any good they will let you talk whilst not appearing to steer you in any particular direction.

I found that it was not easy to find therapists who know much about us without giving away that you are Cd or Ts or the rest of the alphabet. Therefore you have probably given them a good hint as to what is bothering you when you make the appointment.

If at any stage you get embarrassed just change the subject and move on.
The best thing I have found is that talking does help and the sooner that you can come to terms with what you are and accept that you are not doing yourself or anyone else harm the better for you.

I am speaking from a recent experience.

As far as I am aware my therapist was not a specialist in our area but was a good person to help me look at myself and see the problem for what it was.She was a good listener and had constructive advice.

Good luck with your visit.
Just be open and remember you may never see this person again. This is why cab drivers hear so many of peoples problems.
They know they will never see us again.
PJ

[NicoleScott]

Jessica, you want to talk to a therapist about your femme side but you're not sure you'll say anything about your femme side. Seems to me you shouldn't go unless and until you're ready to bring it up. It's doubtful that the counselor hasn't heard it before unless the ink on his/her diploma is still wet. I suspect that once the subject is out in the open, you'll find it easier to talk about.
However, I tend to agree with Tara to some extent. It can be very expensive and they have a way to keep you hooked on them. A lot of what happens is they let you talk, then get you to ask and answer your own questions. Much of what they do could be done by a good, trusted friend that has your best interest at heart. But if their skill is getting you to figure it out for yourself, there may be some value. I'm not sure it's worth what they charge.
My ex-wife and I went to 2 different counselor/therapists. Our problem was that our objectives weren't the same. I wanted her to accept my cd-ing, and she wanted me cured. Of course, counseling failed. Did the "ex-" give it away?
So I'm somewhat cynical about counseling. If you go, make the most of it, lay it all out there, because it won't help if you hold back anything. You can safely confide in some friends, and some will make you regret telling them. But a counselor/therapist should be bound by professional integrity and perhaps law to keep your conversations private, so if you go for it, go for it.

[charlie]

Hello Jessica!
I'm assuming that the visit to the therapist is not about CD per se then. However, from your picture it is definitely part of your life. As such, get your moneys worth and tell the therapist everything about you that you know. Give them a chance to help sort things out for you. Good Luck and feel better!

[JulieC]

I do not beleive in therapists. ... It's all a racket and a gimmick. They just want your money and that's the bottom line

I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm sorry for the experiences you've had. I feel very much the same way about chiropractors. Junk medicine. Some people swear by them though. Me, they couldn't even diagnose a basic back condition I knew I had (and had confirmed with multiple opinions). Quacks.

But, I do feel strongly that there are therapists/psychiatrists out there doing a lot of good, important work. It is difficult to untangle the depths of the brain, and we're only beginning to understand. But, lack of full understanding shouldn't mean we distrust everything in the field.

The human brain isn't any different than other parts of our bodies. It needs blood, it needs food. It needs nurturing and training to be better at the life we have before us. It can be damaged. It can suffer from chemistry problems. And on and on.

[Tomara]

Hi Jessica
I have to agree with everyone else that has had positive experiences in therapy.
Go see your therapist , be honest and open with them about your feelings , who you are , what you do for a living , what you like to do on your time off , the way you like to dress and most of all talk about what your concerns are about your dressing and about your feminine side.
I know it isn't a easy thing to talk about but once you get started you will most likely wish you had done it a lot sooner.
Don't expect miracles though , going to therapy is hard work , it's emotional and it's draining. It will take several visits to feel like you are getting some where (at least it did for me) remember the therapist has to get to know you to help you.
And probably most importantly a therapist is not a healer so to speak they are there to help to guide you to make your own decisions and to help you to better understand yourself and where you are going in life.
One last thing if the therapist doesn't have any experience with gender related issues I would strongly suggest that you try to do your therapy with one that does , that way you won't be educating the therapist.
I have had very positive results with my therapist and I hope that you will with yours too.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or if you would like to chat.
Best of luck to you !
:hugs:Tomara

[carhill2mn]

I hope that the therapist you selected is well acquainted with gender issues.

[tricia_uktv]

Hi hon,

You talk like you have never talked before - and cry whenever you want. Crying is good.

Good luck and you'll get through it,

Hugs