Under dressing - It’s not enough

[Kim_Bitzflick]

So here I sit at my desk on a Wednesday morning wearing some of my usual attire. Dress shirt, dress pants (neither of which looks or feels like a dress BTW) and my girl undergarments, panties, cami & thigh high nylons with suspender belt. I’m doing what I think a lot of you girls would dream of doing. I used to dream about it too. Now it’s a normal thing for me. I have been under dressing for a few years. I really enjoy this aspect of me & under dressing. It feels nice, but lately it’s not enough.

I’m starting to feel trapped & I need to get out. I haven’t been dressed in over a month. I am seriously looking forward to the next time I can get dressed & go out (which should be soon). With school starting (my kids still don’t know), I will have more time available to dress as I like & go out while they are in school.

Last year, I did most of the grocery shopping pretty while the kids were in school (I get Friday afternoons off usually). I look forward to that time again. Just being me.

Thanks for letting me vent/whine/lament/etc….

I finally got out & about. See my post below. It was a GREAT outing.

[CallMeMeg]

It takes some searching, but you can find dress shirts and pants from the women's side of the store that are passable, or close enough.

My normal shoes are women's New Balance. If I have to get dressier (for a customer or something), I have a pair of Aerosoles.

Instead of "come out, come out, where-ever you are" my motto is "come out, come out, whenever you can." :)

[Gerrijerry]

each of us must find what is right for us. If you are happy then I am happy for you.

[Chari]

Kim, We all get those moments of "feeling trapped, wanting to get out", and feeling frustrated. Those times I do something related to dressing, ie match up outfits, shoes, jewelry, what looks great with this or that, do I need more PH, what shade, is this a good lipstick color for that outfit, does this skirt still fit me, is it still in fashion?, what can I do to improve my Kim image, etc. Stay/think in the feminine (Kim) mode as long as you are comfortable with it, or until you "have more time available to dress"!

[KayleeDahl]

I totally understand what you mean. There was a time when all it took was a pair of womens socks to feel like I was connecting with that part of me, but I got used to those, and moved on to more and more under-dressing & replacing male garments with female garments.

Next it was a belly piercing (one of the best things i've ever done for myself) and it continues... I actually look in the mirror now, and see such a femme version of myself on a daily basis, and LOVE it! but still present as a guy without problems in public.

I think its kinda like how a flower grows towards the light, getting taller and taller, trying to reach out and kiss the sun. We are continuously stretching to reach that warmth that comes with being yourself.

just my take... :)

Hugs
Kaylee

[AKAMichelle]

Enjoy your time as Kim. Next time they consider extending the school year for some reason, we know that you will be voting "YES" for Kim. :D

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Thanks for the encouragement. I keep thinking "I'm almost there."

My kids are in high school. 3 years till the youngest starts college. Maybe then they will be mature enough to know about this part of me (although the youngest hates it when I have painted toe nails).

[kimdl93]

that time passes so quickly....and when they are off on their own, you'll miss that time more than the days when you couldn't fully dress.

I am curious, tho. I understand that your wife is at least tolerant. If your kids have noticed your painted toe nails, might they already have some suspicions?

[Kim_Bitzflick]

that time passes so quickly....and when they are off on their own, you'll miss that time more than the days when you couldn't fully dress.

I am curious, tho. I understand that your wife is at least tolerant. If your kids have noticed your painted toe nails, might they already have some suspicions?

I know what you mean about time passing quickly. It seems like yesterday they were just babies.

I do think the older one suspects. The younger one I think is oblivious. I guess I'll find out when I tell them.....much later.

[kimdl93]

there's no rush to tell them...but maybe it will just come up on its own.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

So in my last post I said that under dressing was not enough. I feel much better today for a couple reasons.

1. My wife is going to go out to lunch with me as Kim on Friday :) (I’m taking the day off). We’ve done this may times before, but it’s been a looong time. Last time I was out dressed with her was to dinner on a cruise ship in November of last year.

2. I purchased a cute bra in my male size and I’m wearing it at work instead of my cami. I do worry about it showing through my dress shirt, but I don’t think it is noticeable. My wife hugged me this morning before I left with her head on my chest & didn’t say anything (normally she says something) so I’m guessing it is not noticeable.

3. I ordered another bra on the internet that should work well under my work shirt as well.

So I guess I just needed a little retail therapy & some time with my wife. Thanks for listening to my earlier whines. I guess I am more girlie since I do whine & have emotional swings.

[Billijo49504]

That sounds cool;-) Glad to see your wife is so understanding. My check book said I can't afford retail therapy. Enjoy your lunch...BJ

[kimdl93]

Kim, that's great! I don't think there is anything that feels so good as spending quality en femme time with your SO. Lunch sounds like so much fun.

Do something special for that girl!

[AKAMichelle]

Sounds wonderful. I am so happy for you

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Thanks girls. I'll let you know how it goes & if I remember to take pics I'll post some.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I finally got out dressed. If you want to read my adventures, I posted in the out & about section.

Wait a minute,,,,,,what happened to the out & about section??????

OK well I'll enter my story here later. Suffice to say I had a wonderful time out with my wife.

[Dee Model]

I've never gone in for all this under-dressing stuff...sounds like fetishism to me (not a bad thing, just not me). I have to be all or nothing, well apart from right now, sitting here in tights, night-dress, and dressing-gown hammering out these banal sentiments.

But anyway, wearing girly stuff under guy clothes...I got over that in my teens. The full t-girl expo is all I crave now...and (as I haven't done it properly in months) I crave it real bad :battingeyelashes:

It's coming...soon.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

OK so here's what happened.

I woke up early Friday morning, 7 AM, cooked some breakfast while the kids got ready for school (no they don't know so I was dressed in drab).

So after the kids left at 8, I started getting ready. I had already picked out my outfit the night before, so all I had to do was makeup & get dressed. sounds simple, but somehow, I can never get makeup & dressed in less than 45 minutes. While I got dressed, my wife went grocery shopping. I normally would do that while dressed, but we were going shopping at the mall & she went so we could have more time at the mall.

I got done with makeup and all a few minutes after my wife left. As I did the final check in the mirror, I decided to try a different outfit. Well that snoballed into another outfit & 30 minutes later, I had on my outfit for the day. I finally settled on my favorite white skirt & multicolored top. I wish I had rememberd to take pictures, but.....SORRY.

When my wife arrived home I helped put away groceries & we were off to the mall. We stopped at Macy's and started looking at the clearance rack. I immediately found several items to try on. My wife also found some items to try on after about 20 minutes of looking over the racks. We went to the dressing room (I find it funny that we call it a "dressing room"). The lady there sent me into a large stall & was about to send my wife to another across the hall. My wife said she wanted to wait & see how I looked. Then the sales lady suggested we share the big fitting room, so we did. I tried on all my things & dithered & finally decided on a nice top but I needed a larger size ( I grabbed a medium & I need a Large because my breasts are kind of big).

Then my wife needed to go to the restroom so we found it & I waited outside. The restrooms are right by the swimsuits, so we started looking at what was on sale. I picked out a couple & tried them on. Nothing fit well so no purchase there. While I was changing & my wife waited for me outside my door, another lady was asking my wife's opinion about suits she was trying.

Then we headed into the mall to find some food. We ended up at Panera Bread (A soup, sandwich & salad place). It was very busy in there for a Friday at lunch. That didn't bother me other than it was hard to find a table. I had a nice turkey sandwich & Broccoli Cheese soup, my wife had an artichoke sandwich & chicken tortilla soup. We ate, talked & I enjoyed just spending time out with my sweety.

After lunch we looked around the mall for about 15 minutes till my wife had to leave for work. We stopped at a jewelry store & looked at rings. The girl working there greeted us & showed us some rings & just chatted nicely to us. I was a little shy because of my voice and because that is just me, but I tried to talk with her as best I could. My voice is not too convincing, but she was very nice anyway. My wife then asked her about a problem with "her husband's" current wedding ring. After that, the girl asked us if we were long times friends. We said yes (but I think she kind of knew we were married- I almost told her we were married).

My wife left for work & I was off to my laser hair removal treatment. The girl from the laser clinic called me just before I started my truck & informed me that they couldn't do my treatment that day (no treatments at all for anyone due to lack of ice packs). After we re-scheduled I told her I was disappointed because I had gotten all pretty for them. She said I could visit anytime. Then it hit me, why not stop & visit anyway? I had the time and they were only a mile from my bank where I was going so I stopped there & talked with them.

It was AMAZING at the clinic. They had no customers, so I was able to talk with all the girls there. They told me they were VERY impressed with how good I looked. They told me the only give away was...yes...my voice. One girl, who had done several of my treatments was in awe (in a good way). She finally asked me why I didn't tell her & I said because she didnt ask. So then came all the questions which I answered as best as I could. The first questions was about my make up! Not why do I like to dress (which did come up). It was great being there as one of the girls. I even showed them my new top I bought & modelled it for them. They agreed that if they say me without knowing, they would think I was a GG. That was great, but the BEST comment of all was that one girl said I looked very happy dressed as I was & that was all that mattered. She's right.

By now I was on cloud Nine :daydreaming:. I finally left & went to the bank. I've been there many times dressed & they know me. Their computers were down so it was all done the "old fashioned way". Other than that, I did my businees & left.

Then it was off to home to get back into boy mode before the kids got home from school. It was a great day. I look forward to going out again on my next Friday off (September 3).

[Dee Baker]

Hey Kim,

Sounds like a lovely day.

Dee

[sfwarbonnet]

I've found that the further I go, the further I want to go

[jackielou]

Hello kim in greenville your picture is really a great inspiration to so many men who want to look and feel as you do when dressed,i too went underdressed to work for years my only difference was i also was able to wear a bra without being noticed except on a few occasions and then only some looks never a comment ,you make a very nice looking woman and i hope the people who love you understand your need to dress and realize we are the same people they love in our man clothes ,my wife left me after several years of knowing the intiment details of my life and even buying us matching gowns and underware to be alike.i hope you have someone to love you for who you are and not only what you wear.

[kimdl93]

hey Kim! Great day! I am so glad you had such a wonderful time out and about with your wife. What could be more fun! I really enjoyed reading about your expereince with the clinic. It must have felt so good to be able to be totally out and honest to them! I hope this can become a regular part of your life!

[boardpuppy]

Hi Kim,
I wish I could have dates with the SO but sadly she is still working during the week and the week ends are booked still. Have to grands in HS and can't wait for them to get out. It is interessting that underdressing isn't enough for me either and seem to be pushing the envelope for all its worth even when I am out with the SO.

Hugs,
Alice