transition schedule

[Victoria Anne]

I am posting this with the uncertainty of what to expect in response , understanding I suppose and perhaps suggestions on how to deal with the issue so to the question ?

I have a 15 year transition schedule and I have been content with that for over 4 years now. I have recently crossed a big milestone that is now leaving me wanting,wanting to plunge head long into this and risk all but my job is the one thing that under no circumstances can be put at risk. In changing my name I have done exactly that . I am so excited about my name change and now I think I will go nuts if I cant move forward faster.

I have found new acceptance with friends and made a GG friend that accepts me as myself with no thought of the "male" persona. I am finally becoming Viccy in a broader sense and it feels wonderful and I want it all , I want it all now. My head is telling me to follow my schedule but my heart is telling me to go all in. I think I am going to go crazy. Any suggestions , similar experiences ? Thanks

[Frances]

15 years!?!? Transition has such a snowball effect, that I cannot fathom not wanting to speed up things. I guess you are not alone in this, but risks are not really avoidable, and often exagerated. I see great benefit in taking things slowly, but not if you get depressed while waiting for the next step. Good luck.

[Victoria Anne]

Frances thank you for the response , I am not getting depressed just so anxious I can hardly stand it. I have very definate reasons for the slow pace and they are to long to go into but they are valid . It is as I said there are just times I want it so bad I want to jump in with both feet but I have my wife to worry about or rather the ins. that comes with the job as she is uninsurable so I cannot risk my job.

[Faith_G]

My reaction is the same as Frences'. I can't imagine waiting 15 years.

The snowball effect is real. When I started transitioning I was planning to be full time in about a year. 8 months later, I've been full time for nearly a month. If it wasn't for needing a few more months to save up, I'd be scheduling surgery for next week. :heehee: I was planning to live full time for a couple of years before surgery... :doh:

I think it's entirely reasonable for you to accelerate from "tectonic plate" to at least "glacial" - maybe speed it up to "snail" or even "tortise" if you are feeling impatient. :hugs:

[Victoria Anne]

I suppose most of my reasoning for the lengthy transition is based on fears of losing my job , If that were to happen it would be all over for us (my wife and I) lose of ins. would be beyond devastating. but I suppose you are both right , my schedule should be adjusted , I am seeing my therapist in a couple of weeks and I plan to talk to her about this anyway so talking about speeding it up a bit may not be a bad idea. Thank your for your .

[Teri Jean]

Vicci I felt the same way but the time line has been much shorter. But then that is me. I did transition at work and for the last 10 months has been great. I work in a public employment job and the protections are in place but the peer presure had to be dealt with. It became a non event issue. Congratulations. Teri

[pamela_a]

I have to agree with the others.. 15 years? You have your reasons and I won't second guess them but, for me at least, I reached a point where everything started to happen almost all at once and I haven't looked back since.

IMHO, if you wait until everything is perfect and there is no risk you might as well set your time line for 1500 years. Transition is risk... Life is risk. Do what you NEED to do but don't be frightened by everything that might happen.

Today is the 1 yr anniversary of my transition at work and I posted this a couple days ago. It may give you another viewpoint to consider:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=137147

My best to you whatever you decide.

[Stephenie S]

15 years sounds to me like a mighty long time to waste. On the other hand, if you are content to live your life as a pre-op, why not stay pre-op and avoid all the pain and expense?

Stephie

[Laurie Ann]

Iwaited 54 years and my timeline is still my original 6 years

[Daenna Paz]

I'm in my 10th year ... things have gone significantly slower than I had hoped.
Some things you just can't rush ... the repercussions can be devastating.
I am staying the course, however ;^)

[BreenaDion]

I am in a wait an see mode. Wait an see what the hormones will do to my body . That is the key for me to go forward with any thing new to my transitioning. I Started about a yr ago an taking the steps in stride. I am 55 an disabled , my youngest is 15 . I will not change my name or LFT untile hes done with school. I will see how my condition is an judge what I need to do next.

To have a 15 yr plan maybe kinda long even for a youngster , but as old as I am an suffer from transsexualism that is way to long. My estimate is around 5 yrs on the high side (hoping). That I can live an deal with.

Good luck with your plan an hope it works well for you
Bree.

[Veronica_Jean]

After a year of planning, coordination, and all that it seemed that perhaps the name change was going to fall apart because of a error by the newspaper.

I was horribly anxious, and even after that happened, I need to get my hair done and my hairdresser was about to be gone for a couple of weeks. Rather than put it off (which I really did not want to do) MY boss suggested that I take the day off so that I could stay with my plan.

So, I completely understand feeling that you just can't wait, and want everything when you wake up in the morning.

15 years seems really really long, and I simply "knew" that if I tried to transition that I would lose my job and everything along with it. Its been over two months full time and I am valued as much or more that before transition.

Only you can judge your circumstances. 15 years seems like too long though.

Veronica

[Katesback]

Nothing ventured nothing gained. I hate to say it but you either take the risks that are part of the process, or you drag your heels.

Katie

[Melody Moore]

Im 47 and think that 15 years is a very long time to wait, seriously I would be more worried about being 6 foot under
& pushing up daisies by then, I also am cautious & believe in taking things slowly, but certainly not that slow.

I have a 3 phase program, where I started Phase 1 about 2 years ago this was learning all I could about female mannerisms, deportment and voice so I could transition from living my life as a male to female without raising too may eyebrows, I still have a lot to learn but so far I am not doing too bad. Also at the same time researching all I could before recently coming out online nearly 2 months ago.

Now that Im under the care of my local gender clinic I am starting phase 2 of my transition which is the Counselling, Gender Identity Tests & HRT.

Phase 3 will be when I start having actual cosmetic surgical procedures finishing with SRS. My time line is 6 to 7 years maximum, with about 4 to 5 years to go.

I certainly dont want to be in a nursing home by the time Im ready for SRS, life really is
way too short & is for living, and as someone else here just said... not dragging your heels.

[Victoria Anne]

I appreciate all your responses and do understand what you are all saying about the time frame . My schedule is based in part on finances and also in hopes that Missouri will adopt gender protection laws as they have not yet and with my wife's health I cannot risk my job , I would rather die than see her suffer. Mrs.M has been my biggest support , found my doctors for me and has encouraged me to move forward with my RLE but not at work , being that we live in Cali it is highly unlikely that they would find out about it as I do not go into the office much , the last time was December last year.

I with my wife's support am planning on having the talk with all our family members who do not know and those who will reject me ... it will be there loss. This is actually my next step toward my RLE and I will be talking with my therapist on the 25th. I have pretty much decided on going forward with my RLE it is still a long term transition no matter how I look at it due to finances . Thanks again for all your input , it is greatly appreciated. I will keep you posted as to my schedule , I am sure I will need a shoulder to cry on at some point.