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View Full Version : GG's did I do this right...



kynw08
08-11-2010, 05:48 PM
So I'm talking to a young lady I met online. she had no idea before today I was a CD.

We've been talking a little more seriously about going out and meeting, so i felt like it was time to say something.....

I kind of felt her out, asked her how she felt about crossdressers etc. She gave me the impression she had dated two before and it was not a big deal, and I came out and told her. I'll paste my email:


Well I might as well be honest up front then.... I would prefer it not be widely known, but I do "Embarrased smileConfused smile". I'm not gay(not bi either.....little curious but will never act on it I think). I'm not sure why exactly, and I don't a LOT, but I do sometimes.

If that bugs you I'm sorry, but I think it's better to be up front and honest than hide things. I'm not effiminate, and if you told me "i don't want to know" you'd probably never see it. The only giveaway, I keep my legs, especially the upper parts shaved, but I did that when I wasn't(I have acne problems and it helps to keep hair to a minimum.). I hope that doesn't end any desire you have to talk to me but, so be it. All i ask is that you not tell people :P.


I know GG's are adamant about honesty......was it best to go ahead and tell her, honestly, upfront about who I am and how I feel at this point in my life?

Kieron Andrew
08-11-2010, 05:54 PM
total Kudos for being honest :) :hugs:

celeste26
08-11-2010, 05:56 PM
In my case I waited until I got serious with my S/O. Not until then. At the time though I was well into the closet still. Now I am out and about and it might be different if I need to start another relationship.

kimdl93
08-11-2010, 06:21 PM
I think you did well. The timing was right, because once you've met, things can accelerated and the next thing you know, you're seriously involved, but with a secret. As always, honesty is a really good starting point for a serious relationship

kynw08
08-11-2010, 08:38 PM
Well she's continuing to email me and it seems to be no big deal to her. Hmmmm maybe something has gone right for once.

AKAMichelle
08-11-2010, 09:13 PM
Personally I would have met her in person first. I would have seen if there was any chemistry before telling. Every person you tell could tell 250 people. Unless you are 100% comfortable being out to the world, then you should at least limit the number of people that know.

Teri Jean
08-11-2010, 09:50 PM
I think you did the right thing and the fact she's still in contact has some hope. When I decided to come out as a transexual I told the gall I had been seeing. She pulled away but we are still friends and it isn't as strange as before. For me a friend is more important right now.

Sandra
08-13-2010, 12:40 PM
I think you did ok and if she's still e-mailing then hopefully she's not against the idea.

Aeify
08-13-2010, 12:48 PM
I think you did perfect! Bravo and congrats...I hope there's loads of chemistry when you meet in RL!

Billijo49504
08-13-2010, 01:23 PM
I didn't see any where the words CROSS DRESSER. Did I miss that? Yes you did great, but be sure she know exactly that you are one. Good luck and best wishes. I found my special lady 26 yrs ago...BJ

Whispering Oaks
08-13-2010, 01:29 PM
Yes you did right because you told her at the start the only thing that concerned me is that you seemed embarrassed by it in your email almost apologising for it in a sense. If she is to be a good friend or partner in your life then you should be confident in who you are and been accepted for who you are, cos a real friend or partner will love you for your personality.

Kathryn Martin
08-13-2010, 01:34 PM
:oI found your email really quite cryptic and difficult to understand. It seemed to speak to whether you were gay and little about cd'ing.

I wonder why you didn't use words like feminine, women's clothes.

I wonder also if this was the right time. What if this never turns out and ends in conflict before you have gotten anywhere.

:2c:

Kathryn

Sarah_GG
08-13-2010, 01:59 PM
You did the right thing in being up front. Be confident, be clear about what you're saying and never apologise - this is me, this is what I do. I like what you've said and, at the very least, it will open an interesting dialogue between you.

Good luck! :)

kynw08
08-13-2010, 04:45 PM
I didn't mention the word crossdresser for the simple fact we had been talking about crossdressing and crossdressers before hand...

Should have mentioned that I suppose.

And if it ends in conflict it does. The reality is for me, I'm not as in the closet as I'd like to think. I've sent pictures to several people I'm talking to in the area as friends, and yeah.....some of my "completely closeted" is probably a pipe dream....

kimdl93
08-13-2010, 04:47 PM
really, there shouldn't be any "conflict". She either finds your cross dressing acceptable or not. Either way, you haven't mislead anyone, and could potentially find a truly remarkable friend (or more).

kynw08
08-13-2010, 04:48 PM
I really think things will come out ok. Whether we hit it off or not, I have started texting directly with her and we will either find chemistry or not :D.

She's even interrested in my two main hobbies, fishing and shooting, though she's never really shot before.

kimdl93
08-13-2010, 04:51 PM
well, I think there's a good possibility here. Of course, as with any potential relationship, its best to let things evolve naturally, and comfortably. good luck!

KarenCDFL
08-13-2010, 05:01 PM
YOU DONE GOOD!

What a great and honest way to start what may become a long term relationship!

Hope it works out for the both of you!