Gender Statement Needing help!

[christiek]

I am having trouble deciding what to do and how I should go about doing it. Like I have said in other posts I have been (at least trying/as much as possible) living full time for the past 7 years (since I turned 18). On the day of my 18th birthday I made a trip to the courthouse to turn in my change of name forms and about 2.5-3 months later it had been taken care of without any problem (except from family/my GF at the time [last one ever!]). I went to get my license soon after and realized they had still put that horrible little M on the bottom of it. I even objected saying they had that wrong and asked them to change it. Of course they wouldn't. They told me that I would have to come back with a copy of the new birth certificate stating that I was legally female.

Over the next couple years I tried everything to get them to change that M to an F on my birth certificate. I had no such luck. They told me they would issue me a new birth certificate once I had had the surgery but until then all they could do was amend the name. I finally let it go all together.

A little over a year ago I got laid-off from my job and had to move from where I was living in KY to my aunt's place in MS. My mother came up and got me and took care of my expenses for a while.

Of course having moved I had to get a new license. They asked me to fill out some forms and on the forms it gave me the option to pick male or female. Which one do you think I checked? Female of course! I figured they would say something about it not matching my KY license but they didn't! I walked out the door and looked down at my license. At first I was very upset! The picture they took was horrible! The light was way too bright and they made me pull my hair back behind my ears. Then I looked down a little further. I couldn't believe it! There was this little F down there! I was so happy I actually skipped to the car and called like everyone that I knew to tell them!

Now that I have moved back to KY and need to get another KY license. I am very scared. What if they decide to put that M back on there?!?!?! I know I will have to turn in my MS license and they wont give it back. I could also just use my other documents (BC/SSC) to get a new one then they would put M on it for sure but at least I would have my MS license still and can show that for MOST things.

The only thing they need to change my BC is a letter from a doctor stating that I have had the necessary surgery/surgeries to be considered female. There is no place that says that the doctor has to state that it is specifically SRS. I have had one of them (tho not all people need most MtF do get BA surgery) so it wouldn't be a lie. Is there a doctor out there that anyone knows of that would do this for me? I had one in MS monitoring my hormones for me but thats all he could legally do. I can't go back to the one I was seeing in KY b4 I left (long story) and the one before that is no longer around. I still need to find a new doctor but I have all this other I need to go ahead and get taken care of.

I just don't know what to do about all this. Please Help me out! Its greatly appreciated.

[Inna]

Babe, keep your MS license and every time you need to show it all you got to say "I just moved here weeks ago".

[CharleneT]

I can't help with finding a doc there to write the letter you want. You may find that SS will take a "gender altering surgery" such as BA to be enough, but many states motor vehicles depts will require proof of bottom surgery for a MTF. Not fair, but that is how it often works.

KY will probably change the gender marker back because you will be in their system ( via SSN ). BUT ... who knows ? You might call a drivers lic office and ask them what will happen.

[viviane]

Hi,

What did you end up doing?

Vivianne

[Stephenie S]

You won't be able to get the BC changed until you get the surgery. No doctor will write a testimonial to your female gender until you actually do gender surgery. I am quite sure that orchiectomy counts, so that might be cheaper. Many gender surgeons will not do SRS, though, if you get a orchi first. Best check with your surgeon of choice first.

About your license, I would just turn it in. Don't tell them you used to have a license there before. Tell them it's your first time in the state. If someone finds your old self in the data bank, just deny that it's you. Tell them they obviously made a mistake. That technique (putting the blame on them instead of arguing with them) often works better.

Make several copies of your F license BEFORE you turn it in so you have some proof of your gender. Once you get a F, don't let it go. That's government proof. Hold on to it. Or just keep driving on your old license as someone has suggested already. I did that for years. I traveled all over the US and kept my DL in my old state.

But I think that if you turn in your F license in the new state that they will honor that. Unless you look REALLY macho, I can't think of why it wouldn't work. That F is government proof positive of your gender. Hold on to it.

Stephie

[christiek]

One of the big issues with not having a license in the state I am living in is that I do need to apply for food stamps and what little work I am getting is being double taxed since I live in one state (legally) and work in another. Thankyou for you help tho! I will have to look into this a little more.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

unfortunately having the f vs the m is a big deal..

i agree...keep the license and perpetually say you moved there a couple weeks ago.

i had a friend with an m on her license, and she was detained for 3 hours by the indiana police last week after he noticed the M..ugh

[christiek]

Ouch I am sorry to hear about that. That is one of the reasons I carry a copy of my change of name form with me. It is hidden in a secret place in my purse that I made myself but it is there if it is needed. I also know how IN is. I'm from L'ville and have a number of friends living in southern IN so I am there quite often. I had an issue where I got a parking ticket and the car was in my old name. Don't ask me why lol I guess I was just lazy at the time. I got the car when I was 17 before I changed my name. I went and paid the ticked a few days later and gave them my name. Three to four years later I am getting calls asking for that person that doesn't exist anymore. They said that I hadn't payed the parking ticket and I now owed them over $400. It took me months to get it straightened out. They had filed it under my name and not the old one so just assumed since it wasn't where they thought it should be that I hadn't paid it. I haven't had any problems since but I'm sure one of these days I will get pulled over and they will try something of the sort again. Oh well can't worry about that now!

[Billijo49504]

Write to MS DMV and ask for a new license. Have it mailed to your mothers address aand she can send it on to you. You can't help you lost you license. Just an idea...BJ