Finally...

[Nikole]

So, I'm 29 years old and have been wearing womens clothes for as long as I can remember. I used to feel guilt, shame and embarrassment for it and over the last 2 years I have overcome those fears and have finally admitted to myself that this is a part of me, and rather than hide from it, I choose to embrace it. I came out to my girlfriend and she supported me, however over the months to come, we decided that we both want different things out of our relationship.

Having just become comfortable enough admitting it to myself, I had a hard time casting aside my preconceived notions of how she felt about it. I felt ready to wear clothing all the time immediately, and failed to communicate over those months what I wanted from her, and the attention I felt I was getting.

I had no clothes, and I was hoping that she would offer to take me shopping to pick out some outfits and grew frustrated and angry that she didn't know what I wanted from her. It's hard for her though, when I don't tell her...

Before I go off on a huge long spiel about my life, I just wanted to take the opportunity to introduce myself as Nikole. I recently told my friend, and he finally convinced me to just go and buy some stuff. It took about a year, but I finally got up the courage to go to the mall (starting at Victoria's Secret) and just start talking to a sales associate. I stopped myself about one hundred times from the parking lot to the store entrance, but finally, heart racing, palms sweaty and being totally unsure of what I was going to say, I stepped into the store.

After about 5 minutes wandering around aimlessly, a woman approached me and asked 'Can I help you?' 'Yes', I replied, 'I'm looking for an outfit, something to be worn around the house, comfortable, but not too (skanky I believe is the word I used)'. She asked if I knew what size, and earlier that morning I trotted through countless websites educating me on how to take measurements, so I handed her the slip of paper with all sorts of measurements. I leaned in towards her and slightly whispered "They're mine." I was so relieved when she barely batted an eye and proceeded to show me all sorts of clothing. She asked questions, gave advice, helped me pick out the right sizes and laughed at my comment about how I finally understand how it takes girls all day to shop. Find the right top, no bottom, right bottom, no top :D I can't even explain what a relief it was to be given top-notch assistance during such a difficult experience. She made me feel human, respected and the whole 2 hours we talked I never once felt judged or conscientious of the experience. She gave me the confidence to check out other stores where I found equally good customer service and friendly sales associates. I did go into a few stores while looking for a specific dress and got a few short answers and odd stares, but I just shrugged it off and kept going.

I would never have thought that my first shopping experience could be such a fun, non-threatening time. I really had a lot of fun and feel blessed to have had such a wonderful experience. I feel awful knowing many people in this situation have a hard time, and all I can say is you are human, and damn those who are too closed minded to let you choose for yourself who you want to be and how you want to dress.

This is my first post on this forum, and I look forward to sharing my experience with others. I also wanted to share a picture of the spoils of my first shopping trip. I look forward to getting to know many of you, and hope I can learn from and share with this community.

Please take a look at my purchase :D I'm really excited to get dressed!

Pic List
'My First Shop.jpg' = The spoils of war :D
'Sexy Top.jpg' = A nice sexy piece of nightwear (I love tight clothes)
'Zipper Front.jpg' = The cutest pencil skirt I ever did see, however I do have a question... Where does the zipper go! Lol, the tags are in the back, but I don't know if I should wear it with the zipper on the front, or off to the side. (Your pointers are more than welcome :D )

Thanks for listening, I have a lot to say to someone who will hear me.

[ReneeT]

Welcome, Nikole, and congratulations on accepting yourself for who you are! I admire your courage, and it looks like you picked out some nice outfits. Don't be a stranger on the forum!

[Imogen_Mann]

Full length zip.... I'd say at the front, central.

Hope you feel as good as you're going to look !

xx

[Inna]

Yawza bebe, it looks good on your bed I can only imagine how good it will feel on you:daydreaming:

[Nikole]

Full length zip.... I'd say at the front, central.

Thanks! That's what I thought after I tried it on again, but I wasn't exactly sure.

[Kathryn Martin]

I love the outfits. You did well:)

[Mariah]

YAY! glad your exprince was a great one! =^.^= hope you have many happy trips and good times!

Mariah

[Gaby2]

Lovely shopping story and beautiful cloths Nikole. Welcome to the forum where you'll find many appreciative listeners!
:wave:
gaby

[kimdl93]

Great start. I don't think I would have had that level of courage when I was 29.

[Jay Cee]

Welcome. You have a great eye for clothing - very nice stuff.

[AKAMichelle]

It is so liberating to go shopping for your own clothes and more importantly to admit that they belong to you.

[JulieC]

Congratulations on your self acceptance! That is a HUGE step. Some of us never get there, continue to struggle with it, and worse. Your courage is commendable!

[Jenny Gurl]

We all take the journey at the speed and distance we are comfortable. You have covered some major ground in a short time. Great outfits. The zipper probably goes in the front, a girl I work with who I consider a fashion expert wore the same skirt last week, and it was zipper in the front. She always looks great and everything always matches. I could only hope to be as fashion coordinated as her some day. Great looking outfits. Welcome to the forum.

[pernille d]

welcome . and wel done for accepting who you are , thats the first hurdle over , and wow what a collection of clothng for a first trip out shoppin ( god help you when you get more confidence if thats your first shopping spree you wil need a bigger closset to keep it all in)

re zips in that cute dress . i work in the female fashion buisness and you can never be ceratain with all the wakky designs or different ideas desigers have , i just go after the label as that is 99 % of the time at the back .

have fun in your new cothing

[Nikole]

Thanks everyone for being so nice! I'll be taking a much closer look at the forums over the next few days, lots of good info in the threads.

I'll try to start chatting in other threads, but I get a little hesitant being new, so I'll be mostly lurking quietly while I get to know you gals :D

Any good suggestions for a top for that purple dress? I have trouble picturing what goes good with purple, but I just had to get the skirt (It was only $12!!! :yippee:)

[Fab Karen]

Any good suggestions for a top for that purple dress? I have trouble picturing what goes good with purple, but I just had to get the skirt (It was only $12!!! :yippee:)
Turquoise, pink, yellow or orange, a bright yellow-green, and black is ok.

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Welcome Nikole! You are a source of inspiration for another new girl! Thank you!

[Suzi Q]

I've found that most sales people are interested in helping you out and go out of their way to be friendly. Out of maybe 100 sales people I have had one older woman tell me ( In a rather stern manner ) that I needed to go to the mens dressing room on the other side of the store to try on a bra that a different saleslady put back on hold while I went to a nearby store she suggested that I could get some foam enhancer forms to try on with this particular bra.

The first sales lady let me go into the fitting area in drab and had me try on different bras and came into the booth and showed me what to look for, etc.

I have gone to 6 or 7 specialty stores or medical supply stores that sell mastectomy breast forms and bras because I wanted to be sure to get it right before I parted with that much money. No one batted an eye at a man wanting to be fitted for a bra and they all were friendly and helpful. I found it depends on the style and construction what band size and cup size you will need.

For anyone new to shopping in drab for women's clothes I recognize until you have experienced this over and over it is hard to believe.

Just relax and have a good time whether drab or En Femme!

Suzi Q

[DonniDarkness]

First off, Friends? Can we keep Nikole? Oh, and hi Nikole

Second, VS was a great choice for a first time good experience, they cater to alot of nervous, sweaty palmed guys, who have no intention of wearing girls clothes....In fact i was there a few x-mas's ago and getting a gift for Sugarmomma (my SO), and was shocked at how many guys i was in line with. Most bought Gift cards and stood in line empty handed....i however was treated differently because i walked in and started asking the SA's questions...."do you have this in 34c?". No one batted an eye at all.

Third, kudos! for being honest with yourself, from now on, above all else, be you...nothing more: nothing less. The more you figure out who you are, the more capable you make everyone else to understand you....

Oh and Welcome,
-Donni-

[Nikole]

First off, Friends? Can we keep Nikole? Oh, and hi Nikole



Firstly, ^What? O.o My name is OK right?

Secondly, instead of quoting everyone individually, I'm just gonna say a collective 'THANKS' for everybodys kind words and support.

I haven't been real active these past few days, just got back from a vacation and trying to adjust back to my 'normal' routine.

As I think I said earlier, I'll go post a few things about me in the new members threads.

I do have a few questions I'm sure have been asked hundreds of times before. If anyone has links to the threads, put them in the reply? I'll be searching the forums myself, but sometimes longtime members have links to buried yet useful posts. :D

I'm looking for a place to buy shoes online. (I've always, always always wanted a pair of thigh high boots) None of my local stores carry shoes in my size (11 mens = ~13 female right?) so I am forced to the internets. I have found many sites, but am looking for tried and true links that people here have personally used. (Shipping to US please)

I'm also looking for a wig but don't know where to start. :D

Lastly, I don't know anything about applying make-up. Does anyone know of a guide or a list of absolute essentials to pickup?

Thanks in advance,
G'night ladies!
nikole

[ladyinblack]

cute hone love the black skirt with the zipper up the back

[7sisters]

i liked the red skirt... very nice

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Nikole,
I just ordered some size womens size 11 shoes from Payless Saturday,I think they had 13 in some. They should he here this week- they have a decent selection but I like the thigh high boots like you and they hae a limited selection there.
Good luck!
Ashley

[DianeDeBris]

Welcome Nikole - we're delighted you're here and we're thrilled you've had such a pleasant introduction to shopping and being yourself out in the world - many of us are envious of your success at reaching this point at your relatively young age - please do not ever let anyone push you back from your *rightful* place in the world! Hugs - Diane

[Christina Horton]

Hey girl and welcome to the loonly bin....I mean CD.com. If your looking for helpfully tips you came to the right place.

If you want a good ( some say great,and some go so far as to say legendiry) threads by none other then Mis Christina Horton. Gee I wish I knew her. Wow.

No I'm not being a diva (even though I am)....now stop that Christina (slap) but I have been told that my storys are great and have giving some girls the inspriation to go out for he first time ,or just be the girl they want ,need, to be.

Read my" first time out yaaaaaaa" and then read my "20th highschool reunion and you'll see what I mean.

I have done some stuff I never thought I would or even could. When I first came here I was like you except I never had a prob with my being a CD. Just needed to be inspired to go out. Then in 2008 I did ,fully dressed after a makeover at MAC.

I don't think I would have ever taken the first step without the lovely pretty women on this site. An let's not forget our great men we have here too. They have just as much of the bragging right as the ladys here.

We all have out path to walk down. Are you the one to walk the path that 1000s of others have blaszed before you? Or are you the one to blaze a new path for other girls and men to walk down.

I walked the easy path then I blazed a few new ones too. Go out there and click on the girls name and read here threads and you'll see the wonderfull and yes sad stuff that's happened. Sometimes things go great or better then you ever thought or ,they can fall apart.

But if you don't try and fail then you'll never learn. Make you mistakes and learn from then. Lol that's how you learn , makeup ,hair , colthes , etc.

When it comes to a girl friend it's a good thing to be up front with her not to long after or before you start dating. That way she can wrap her mind around it. You'll find that everyone here will give you all sorts of opions but only you can judge what's best for you.

Live , play , learn , love , and most important of all be true to yourself. If you can all other part of life will click into place.

People like a person that likes themselfs. And I love myself. I ((((((((((love being a Crossdresser)))))))))).

Now finally....
Now do you love me yet LOL !!!

[carolinoakland]

Welcome Nikole, you've come to the right place and do look at previous threads and links. You will find that there is no substitute for hands on when it comes to make up. and really it's a personal thing, choosing one's make up 'look' , if you can I suggest you're first time experience be at a transformation service. It's worth the time and money if you can. and look into trying to attend one of the many transgender conventions. Carol

[marian]

Congratulations Nikole. I really admire your courage. And great eye for chosing cloths. Hugs, Marian

[Amber Night]

... VS was a great choice for a first time good experience, ...-

Vickies seems a better place to pop your shopping cherry. Thoughts? I myself pretty much had a very much similar shopping experience starting last week; started at VS (and have been back three times in a week), and then ventured through Macy's (which I actually didnt find as fun, too much stuff I think), and had success in the Gap...

Anyway enough of me. Gladness to you Nikole and welcome. I think there are a few of us on here now that have been taking our first public steps.

[Nikole]

again, I cannot stress how fortunate I feel to have had a very positive experience.


I think there are a few of us on here now that have been taking our first public steps.

It's such an exhilarating feeling to overcome some of life's biggest obstacles, isn't it? When I got back home and was relaxing in my chair I couldn't help but notice there was something missing from earlier that day. That something missing was a huge burden that had been lifted away and filled with positive thoughts and reinforced with a bit of confidence.

Even these last 2 weeks for me, I have felt better about myself, more willing to talk to my (maybe not X anymore? :thumbsup:)girlfriend and my roommate about things not even related to CDing. I just feel positive, and glad to get out of bed in the morning for the first time in awhile.

Night ladies!
-nikole

[CamilleLeon]

That is awesome! And welcome to the forum. I'm glad you found someone helpful (most businesses care more about what's in your wallet, not what you're buying from them). I'm glad you're coming to accept this long and often strange road of crossdressing...looks like a great first purchase though. I'm sure you'll enjoy