Coming out to friends

[Kathryn Martin]

Tonight we are having friends over for dinner. They are good friends, important to our lives and well being.

My spouse has told me that we should tell them that I am a crossdresser and transgendered person (non-surgical). She says that she believes it will be good for me and will; allow me to be around them dressed when I choose.

I believe that my spouse also would like to have people close to us so she can talk to them and have some support through this.

What are your thoughts. The husband is very masculine but open and a great friend the woman is just a great person.

I am unsure if I should at this time

[BethCD]

Kathryn, If you still have some uncertainty you might throw out some feelers......somehow work crossdressing in general into the conversation, maybe the movie Tootsie or something similar or a news item about a cd'er. See how they react.
Please keep us posted.

Beth

[Imogen_Mann]

Only do what YOU are comfortable with. That's my advice.

[sandra-leigh]

This is something you will have to answer for yourself.

Last year I came out to my sister, and then to my mother less than a week later. Within a couple of weeks after, I called up my best friend (male) and came out to him. Why? Hard to say exactly, but as far as I was concerned it was the final step in the process of coming out to everyone who really mattered to me.

This couple: are they the sort that you maintain a polite friendship with, or are they the sort that you can really talk to when you are feeling blue? The sort of people that if you were to notice them serving themselves some of your 30 year old Scotch, you would show them where the 75 year old Scotch is kept because they are exactly the sort of "special friends" that you bought it to share with?

[Kathryn Martin]

This is something you will have to answer for yourself.

Last year I came out to my sister, and then to my mother less than a week later. Within a couple of weeks after, I called up my best friend (male) and came out to him. Why? Hard to say exactly, but as far as I was concerned it was the final step in the process of coming out to everyone who really mattered to me.

This couple: are they the sort that you maintain a polite friendship with, or are they the sort that you can really talk to when you are feeling blue? The sort of people that if you were to notice them serving themselves some of your 30 year old Scotch, you would show them where the 75 year old Scotch is kept because they are exactly the sort of "special friends" that you bought it to share with?

Sandra Leigh:

These friends are true friends. They would give the shirt off their back for us and are friends with whom we have much deeper conversations than anyone else. They know where the good stuff is in our home:) and have no issue getting it when needed.

I guess I am wondering if things will be the same after this revelation.

[joann07]

It's hard to say, but it's your life and you can do anything you want.
Now if they're very old fashioned conservative christians, they may be shocked and have a hard time understanding. However, if they seem open to different things then they may be ok with it, but still be a little shocked. Now if your gut feeling feels that it's right, then I would tell them.
Again, it's your life and they can't tell you what you can and can't do.

Hugs!

[kimdl93]

Your wife suggested this. It sounds as though both of you consider your friends to be open minded about transgender matters? Since you both answer that "yes" then its really a matter of whether now is the time, and this is the way that you want to come out.

[sandra-leigh]

These friends are true friends.

I guess I am wondering if things will be the same after this revelation.

My friend... his reaction was, "Good lord, I thought you were going to tell me something serious!" Meaning like a major illness or a hidden life of crime or something like that. He wasn't upset in the least.

Based upon your description of them and your relationship, I would be surprised if they didn't take it in stride, but I don't know them.

Do they know lots of very different people? If so then I would believe it quite likely they would not be troubled by your news.

But timing is still a question. Myself, I was getting to the point where not telling the people closest to me was feeling like a "lie". Not that they had to know, but I wasn't being honest and open with them about who I really was, and my mother and my sister and my friend were people whom I didn't want to lie to. My friend is "family of the heart".