View Full Version : Stop being a Gentleman?
RobinScott
08-13-2010, 06:35 PM
When you are out dressed, do you find it difficult to stop being a Gentleman?
Wen I am out with my GG friends (who I also go out with in Male mode), I find myself still opening doors for them and such. I have to remember that if I am projecting as a woman, I have to stop acting like a man.
Love
Robin
Rianna Humble
08-13-2010, 06:49 PM
Yes, I still forget sometimes that I'm no longer a gentleman. A good example is when I was waiting for the train to work a couple of days ago, I held back to let a GG get on board and she smiled and signalled for the older woman (me) to get on first :eek:
Kate Simmons
08-13-2010, 06:50 PM
Just because you show courtesy doesn't mean you cannot be a gentlewoman does it?:)
Tulip
08-13-2010, 07:37 PM
I like this thread. I am a GG, and I tend to hold doors open. I wait for others to walk in/on first. I think it comes from working during my teen years. I want to hold doors.
When I date a gentlemen, I tend to drive him crazy because I forget to wait for the door to be opened by him. I've received a few lectures from older men who are offended. One man assumed I thought he was too feable to hold his own door open.
Moral of the story...it does not mean you are not a "real woman." ; )
sissystephanie
08-13-2010, 08:47 PM
When my wife was alive and I could really become Stephanie, I sometimes did forget that I was a "lady!" Now that I no longer wear a wig or use makeup, I always try to be a gentleman even though I am probably wearing a skirt or dress!!
BiancaEstrella
08-14-2010, 01:07 AM
I do those things anyway because they're nice gestures. Being nice doesn't have a gender.
kayegirl
08-14-2010, 02:48 AM
Good manners, cost nothing and are the sign of a real lady/gentleman.
jenifer m.
08-14-2010, 02:39 PM
yeah im guilty of doing the same.
Fab Karen
08-14-2010, 05:10 PM
Good manners, cost nothing and are the sign of a real lady/gentleman.
Exactly. Nothing mannish about it.
i never thought that just being polite had anything to do with gender. :battingeyelashes:
it is a strange feeling when a "guy" opens and holds a door for me.:eek:
.
randumbness
08-14-2010, 06:31 PM
i do those things anyway because they're nice gestures. Being nice doesn't have a gender.
amen!
I do a lot of work I do is in Higher Education and we get a lot of foreign students, especially from China and India... they are taught about UK "culture" and one of these things is that we hold doors open for people... men and women do... so en femme in the UK it would not stand out... mind you if you didn't, that would give interesting messages... xx
The thing that I notice when dining with a group of cd's, is how many of them have grotesque table manners, ie elbows on the table, shoveling their food, chugging their drink, leaning over their plate, etc.
When dining as a lady, act like a lady.
Jodi
victoriamwilliams1
08-17-2010, 07:30 AM
I think it is just common courtesy for me I had to remember that I am a woman when out and let men do what men want to do.
Angie G
08-17-2010, 07:51 AM
Just because your dressed lie a woman one still needs to have manners. And someone has to open the door.:hugs:
Angie
Gerrijerry
08-17-2010, 08:35 AM
I have before and still do hold a door for other people to use. espicially my wife. It does not matter how I am dressed I do it anyway.
Frédérique
08-17-2010, 09:49 AM
When you are out dressed, do you find it difficult to stop being a Gentleman?
Being a lady and being a gentleman are two parts of the same whole. Do you wish to be a lady? I cannot assume you want to be, even though outsiders call us MtF girls “ladies” out of courtesy, but, based on your OP, I’m guessing you are a gentleman in female clothing, or a lady in male clothing. I’ve had women hold open doors for me, so common politeness isn’t gender-specific – just stand by, rather than act unconsciously, and let someone hold the door open for you. The feeling is liberating, and it’s good to feel less MALE for a change, wouldn’t you agree? :battingeyelashes:
Pythos
08-17-2010, 10:30 AM
Holding doors open, pulling chairs out, opening a car door, and so on are not gender dependent.
Frankly I think it is stuff that stemmed from the days women "were incapable of taking care of themselves"
Myself, I hold the first door open, then let the person I let through, (male, female, short, tall, doesn't matter) hold the inner door open, if there is one.
Now if the individual is incapable due to physical limitations (loaded down with groceries, down to birth effects) then I will certainly hold the door open, unlock and open the car door, and so on.
If there is only one door into a building, then who ever gets to the door first, gets to hold the door open.
I long for the day these silly and unnecessary gender associations with just courteous actions are obliterated, and left to rot in the records of history.
Persephone
08-17-2010, 12:37 PM
It took a very long time for me to stop recognizing men, nodding towards them when we passed each other - definitely a no-no en femme.
Now the smile of recognition when making eye contact with another woman is so automatic that I end up doing it even when "en drab." It's funny then, because the other woman will automatically return my smile and then look a bit baffled.
As to doors, softly thanking a man as he holds one for me has now become another automatic when en femme.
Anyone, male or female, typically holds a door for someone who is elderly or disabled.
When two women are approaching a door, it seems most typical that the one in front opens it and the second one takes it from her, pretty much like two men most often do.
Ellen Ross
08-17-2010, 06:39 PM
I had an opportunity to dress for a few hours yesterday (first time in over a year), so I went out to run errands and have lunch. Upon leaving a fast food restaurant I met a younger girl walking in. I started to move to hold the door for her – as I would in guy mode without thinking about it – but then she moved to hold the door for me. I was confused for a split second, but then remembered this thread, and let her hold the door. We exchanged the “girl” smile as we passed. Afterward, I realized that if it were two guys, or the two girl situation that it was, the incoming person was in the best position to hold the door. It was nice to be seen as one of the girls, and was the perfect ending to my few hours out in the world.
Samantha Girl
08-17-2010, 07:22 PM
Yeah Robin, I am very much like this too. Then again I am pretty much the same person whether I am dressed up or not. Perhaps slightly less shy but that's about it ;)
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