Remembered?

[Kate Simmons]

Many times on the Forum the question is asked if we pass away, would we like to be dressed for the funeral and buried en femme? To me that point is moot as we have absolutely no say in or control of the matter after we die.

My question, rather, is how would you like to be remembered by others after you pass? That is the longer lasting impression people will have of us. Will you be remembered as this quirky guy who liked to dress up like a woman, an activist who pursued CD/TG rights or as someone who gave of themself for others? While there is nothing wrong with any of that, sometimes we lose sight of the bigger picture. Many, including SO's see CDing and the associated criteria as being a somewhat self centered activity.

Who we show we are as a person is really what will be remembered, the rest is just window dressing.What kind of reputation have you built up and how would you like to be remembered after you are gone?:)

[Shari]

Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife I submit the following.

Remember the line in "Saving Private Ryan" at the end of the movie?

"Was I a good man?"

That's all I want or ever wanted and not many can ask for much more.

[Ms Deidre]

Although I have been out for years and have been 24/7 the past 7 years I have to agree with Shari. I don't care to be remembered for what I wore but rather the person I was. Hopefully that brings good thoughts to those who I have touched throughout my life on earth. :love:

[AKAMichelle]

Since I am much more than the clothes, I hope the clothes are not what defines me.

[kimdl93]

I have eight brothers and sisters. At a memorial service for a family member it occurred to me that I'd really prefer to be the last of clan alive, just so they wouldn't be talking about me at my funeral!

We don't get that choice, and as one friend told me - other people's opinion of you is non of your business. Still I'd like to think that people would think kindly of me when Im gone.

[Alice Torn]

I think in man clothes, as that is what mostly i wear, and almost all know me as.

[Frédérique]

My question, rather, is how would you like to be remembered by others after you pass? That is the longer lasting impression people will have of us. Will you be remembered as this quirky guy who liked to dress up like a woman, an activist who pursued CD/TG rights or as someone who gave of themself for others? While there is nothing wrong with any of that, sometimes we lose sight of the bigger picture. Many, including SO's see CDing and the associated criteria as being a somewhat self centered activity.

Tell me something that ISN’T a self-centered activity. I can’t think of any. :idontknow: If you feel you’re part of a solution to something (giving of yourself for others), you’re already part of the problem, but I digress…

I’d like to be remembered for my artwork, represented by the modest oeuvre that will survive me, perhaps exhibited is some kind of memorial exhibition, then quickly forgotten. Very few people know I’m a crossdresser, but I would enjoy being remembered as one, hopefully sparking recognition of some deep-seated desire in a child who hears the uncensored news. That would please me no end, knowing that my own personal self-centered activity inspired more of the same, and life was enjoyed (rather than endured) by an enlightened boy or girl…:)

[Tina B.]

I want my wife to remember me as the best friend she ever had, my Mother, to think of me as a good son, and my children to remember the guy that was there for you when ever you need him, but a Father that stays out of the way and lets you live you own live with out interference. The rest of the world can think what ever they want, I'm gone.
Tina B.

[Ellen James]

Personally, it's not a problem since while I assume there will be a funeral, I won't be there in any physical fashion. Of course, I am picking out music and readings, and definitely putting together the playlist for the wake!

[NicoleScott]

I may or may not do this, but I would like to say something like:

"I hope others remember me as a good man who tried to do right for his family and friends, community and nation, and even strangers. By the way, few of you know that I was a crossdresser. I liked to occasionally dress up and be feminine for a while. But the reason I kept it private was because of the jaws that dropped a few seconds ago. It's a pity if you think of me differently now, and it may say more about you than me."

I don't know what I'll do.

[Ruth]

Very few people know about my CDing and I'm not planning to make it generally known any time, so I don't really expect to be remembered as a crossdresser, but actually I don't mind if that is what occurs. It's definitely a part of me, I'm not ashamed of it, and people who don't know about it don't know the whole person.
However, I expect to be reunited with my maker when I die and it's that relationship which will concern me, not the memories lingering on in the earthly realm.