To tell Mom about Kari

[simplerhythm]

I'm at a point where I've accepted Kari as part of me and I'm comfortable letting others know. I'm out to my closest friends, my sisters, my dad -- people I trust and love, so that I can talk openly about it. Pretty much everybody but Mom.

It's a funny situation for me. As I grew up, she caught me with things 3x (that I can recall). I didn't fess up when she waved the evidence in my face, but rather I shut up and got depressed for days. Who knows what she found that she never confronted me about? Moms aren't stupid.

That was 12-14 years ago. She's never brought it up, and her reactions from before are holding me back now. I don't know whether she's known all along and came to terms with it and talking to her would go smoothly, or if it's something that would still bother her.

Any advice? =]

[kimdl93]

I don't know your mother, but I can tell you if your dad and sisters know it, there's a 90% chance that Mom knows. She may be waiting for you to come to her.

[simplerhythm]

No, this was very recent. My sisters aren't like that and Mom and Dad hate each other

[kimdl93]

No, this was very recent. My sisters aren't like that and Mom and Dad hate each other

Well, its really up to you. If I was your Mom, I'd probably still remember those 3X you mentioned...plus any other insights she may have from raising you.

My mom found a few items I'd swiped from my sister...she didn't say anything, but years later when we talked...she said she had always suspected. She could see that I talked, moved and had interests that were different from my brothers ...things I didn't even notice. It didn't matter - she loved me and supported me through worse than my being a cross dresser.

[simplerhythm]

Thanks kim :)

Anyone else??

[KandisTX]

Quite simply put Kari, mom's tend to know more than we think they do. My own situation was quite peculiar as well, I was found out by my adopted mother by her finding my stash of stuff I had taken from her and of course they thought I was "crazy" and therefore sent me to a psychiatrist. Well, shortly thereafter I had the opportunity to move back with my birth father and step mother and I jumped on the chance. When I finally did come out to my stepmother a couple years later, I found out that she had already known and had no problems with my dressing in her things then. Now I have a very supportive wife and daughter (15 years old), as well as one supportive sister and my step mother. Dad has the idea "If I don't talk about it, then it doesn't exist", and well the other sister, who happens to be an exotic dancer, somehow finds my crossdressing to be strange... Figure that one out for me will ya? LOL

Only you can judge what your mom may say or not say. but, if you really want to come out to her, then you may just have to bite the bullet and like nike says, JUST DO IT!!

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Gillian]

My mother caught me way back when too, and I suspect she knew then and still does suspect today despite my being married and having a daughter etc, as others say mothers tend to "know" these things without words and tend also to be completely accepting of some quite left field things in the pursuit of offspring happiness.

Best of luck with your situation (I think if it were my own mother and I for example) you will be fine

[Gerrijerry]

I can only say one thing to this post. I wish I had told my mom when she was alive.

[simplerhythm]

I've decided I'm going to bring it up for sure next time I see her. Like we all have guessed: she is a mom, she has stunning intuition about this stuff. And what Gerri said. Sorry, by the way. :sad:

Kari

[DonnaT]

My mom caught me once, and later found my stash, but when I told her a few years ago, she had no clue. But, she did accept me quite readily. Such is a mother's love, I reckon.

Good luck with talking to your mom.

[AKAMichelle]

Only you know the answer, but if you have told that many people in your family my guess is that she already knows. She is just waiting on you to bring it up.

[Christina Horton]

For me growing up I never had a stash but I did use a dress that was my late aunt Linda's and until i out grew that I did not dress until 1990. When I told my family in 92 my mom and family had no clue at all. Mom said she did not want anything to do with it and did not want to talk about it or see me dressed EVER!!!! But last year at my 20th high-school reunion she was overwhelmed with curiosity and she saw Christina. Since then she has gone shopping with her and seen her about 5 or 6 times and is ok with it for the most part.

It took years but she came around from wanting nothing to do with , to shopping and hugging Christina and thats just fine with me.

She has one rule and thats no shopping (dressed) in her town. Ya thats a bummer cuz I grew up there.... but for now thats just fine.

Remember she might be ok or not but IF she loves you that should not change.

[simplerhythm]

Well, told her

It was a non-issue! But she was kind of all over the place. Hell, she claimed not to even remember catching me :eek:????????

I don't believe that, though, because then there's a discrepancy between her reaction when I was in 8th grade -- yelling about psychiatry etc, threatening to tell Dad... Vs. today -- accepting. It's a mystery.

Didn't believe me at first even though I brought her outside and used my serious voice, my hand on her shoulder. She thought I was kidding, said i was full of s#&% a few times. Finally flashed my hipsters, lol

Asked why would I even tell her. I tried my best to explain, like, "Why leave it secret? I'm not ashamed of it. It's part of who I am and I wanted the people I love to maybe know and understand me better. And then I can talk openly about it with people, too." Still didn't really get it though... Hmm

So, that's the whole immediate family, then. In-laws are a non-starter...