Seeking some help on coming out

[catbird]

I am just coming out. Just wish to hear back from some ladies who made the transition late in life, like me - I am 49. Could this just be mid-life crisis ? or my true nature as a women ?

[DonnaT]

Coming out to whom?

[catbird]

I am having some difficulty getting to know my true identity - I come from a very "straight" family

[KellyG]

I think there are two issues here.

One is who you are and what is your motivation for CDing. Are you a guy who simply likes the fit and feel of women's clothing, or are you trying to express a feminine aspect of yourself, or are you in some sense a female who would consider a transition so you can physically match your gender identity.

Another issue is how much of this you choose to share with the world and how much to keep private.

It seems like you are sorting out both issues. Although one issue can help you with the other, remember that they are somewhat separate. For example, if you are surrounded by people who you don't think would be accepting, don't let that stop you from being you. At least in private you can accept yourself and explore your CD experience, and as you become more confident you can share more with others. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more likely others will be able to accept you as you come out in your own time and in your own way.

From my experience, it takes time and patience. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You'll get a lot of support here.

[AKAMichelle]

Coming out can mean different things. If you are talking about telling others, yes that is difficult sometimes to do. Telling someone else can change your life forever. If you are talking about accepting yourself, then that is much easier. But it takes a long time to understand everything that makes up you.

Either way - Good luck

[LitaKelley]

I myself recently asked a similar question.. not about coming out, but if or not it's a midlife crisis.. You may wish to read many of the responses I got.. Alot of great advice and information. I learned alot from the girls whom responded

[Christina Horton]

You can't predict whom will be ok with it. So my advice is to just tell who you want to and go from there. Just me two cents.:2c::2c::2c: Ok my eight cents.

[Butterfly Bill]

I was 41 when i came out to the Rainbow Family, and 47 when when I came out to the rest of the world. Lot's of people do it in their 40s. It has to do with mid-life, you've come a long way from your teens and 20s, and lots of things you worried about back then don't scare you so much any more. But I wouldn't call it a crisis, just a transition.

[Stephenie S]

My advice?

Tell no one. If you want to crossdress and you are married, it may be best to tell you wife. But you had better be sure that she KNOWS you don't want to transition. Wives can handle a lot, but being married to a woman is asking too much of the average wife. Others? It's none of their business what you wear and where you wear it.

If you DO want to transition, I would still say tell no one. If you do end up transitioning, you will not want ANY one to know that you were once a man.

Most who transition are quite excited about it at first and tend to want to tell EVERYONE the exciting news. But later when they want to just get on with their lives and live as the woman they have always been inside are sorry they told so many people about their past.

In any case transition is way down the road. There are years of therapy, hormones, electrolysis, wardrobe, voice, and everything else, to be accomplished before transition.

Good luck,
Stephie