I went into a chatroom today...and OMG

[Haley]

I was bored this afternoon, so I made a profile at a chat site as a girl and I uploaded a pic then joined the busiest rooms I could find. It was great at the beginning, because I didn't mention I was a CD lol...a few guys hit on me and I got some private messages (I was rather flattered). One of the guys tried to take it "further" so I had to stop him, and blurted out that I was a CD :\. Then the wheels came loose, he told the room and everyone started attacking me calling me a f***** and calling me gay and whatnot and I just maintained that I wasnt a homosexual and that I was happy with how I was. Then surprisingly someone posted links to my flikr and photobucket albums O.O and I had no I idea how they managed to find me! Did they google me...don't think that would work? Anyway after a while I go tired of the abuse and left. Some people can be so ignorant. Has anyone ever been in this kind of situation...maybe in real life too? How do you deal with that kind of abuse? :( It really made me feel bad and the fact that they could find my photo albums made me feel scared

[Gillian]

That must have been so upsetting for you it really must! but, in a small way you did bring it on by first hiding your gender then admitting to it, a real lesson learned if you start something finish it I suppose, I don't mean to be harsh or critical to you and please don't read it that way, but as Gillian I still avoid contact be that cyber or otherwise for this reason as the world is a very cruel and unthinking place for those of us that choose to live by different rules :hugs:

[Rianna Humble]

It can be quite scary what people can find about you on line. I don't tend to use chat rooms, but I have heard that they can sometimes have a crowd mentality so I guess when a few started in on you the others just followed suit.

If you try ths another time, perhaps a safer brush-off could be simply "I'm not looking for a relationship". Do they have mods to report someone who is over-pushy and won't take no for an answer?

[noeleena]

Hi. Haley.
As im on a few chat rooms id be interested in knowing what one as i do know quite a few people , & yes it is easy to find others on the net its not that safe ,
.
within our forums around the world we are watching others backs & yes we get the odd one in so be carefull what info you leave about , it can be got at very quick ,

if i where you id close down your account take your pic down & if you go back . no pic & use another name as for flicker you can or could have it set up for only your friends to have access .
if you would like to email the info .ill have a look .

noeleena@clear.net.nz

...noeleena...

[BiancaEstrella]

What chat site was it?

I chat online as Dani-CD on a couple of sites. I mostly ignore ignorant comments and and answer questions people have about crossdressers, crossdressing, and me specifically.

[MsJanessa]

Usually the only chat rooms I go to are those that cater to us--the TG community--and even then you get the occasional troll who is not a fan of us ladies--My advice is to stay away from chat sites unless they are for us and even then be very careful

[Mandy]

I only use Yahoo chat & have a few contacts from other sites. Will admit that I have had 2 contacts that spoke to me very rudley & been disrepectfull towards me as a CD'r, those contacts have been blocked & removed. I have tried another chat room & went on as Mandy, its just amazing how many guys out there just hit on you all at once, because you have entered a female name:D

Please stay safe:hugs:

[Alice Torn]

I think it is such a very sad reality check, that there are so awful many love-hungry, sex and love starved males in our world. It makes me wonder if there really are more females than males. From what this old bachelor has observed, there seems to be far more single men , than single women that are looking. In China, it is said to be a national crisis. I think it is in the states, too. Too many men love hungry, too few women. So, much so, that even
cders are fair game!

[Alberta_Pat]

There is a firefox addon called "tineye". It will search the net for pictures.

If the picture you used on the chat site is one that is also on flicker and photobucket, it could be tracked that way.

So, do be careful with what images you post, and where.

[Tanya83]

I'd be willing to bet most of them wouldn't say a word to your face. The anonymity of the net gives these idiots a sense of security.
Personally, I think just leaving the chat would have been good enough.

[AKAMichelle]

Luckily no. But it can be very intimidating when it does happen. You made the right choice to just leave

[Starr]

If you are online as your fem self.. and use a fem name.. you should google yourself every so often to see what is being seen by others about you.. some simple post you made that came out wrong could be the first thing that pops up.. or a one line post that gave more information then you meant to... the first time i did i was suprised at all the things online about me.. some were old web sites I had joined others post that I didn't think would show up on a search.

[hopingsecret]

Well one time a friend and I posted on an Alice Cooper message board how we didn't like his then assistant Brian Nelson and Oh mu God, people freaked. One even went to the trouble of tracing or signal back the town we were in and posting it. We freaked. It was like, "What the hell? Are these people going to try to hunt us down and kill us?". Reading your post brought that back.

As for chat rooms; I chat at cd/tg chat sight and the biggest thing is when men try to hit on me. It's somewhat flatering but it gets annoying after the while. The biggest and funniest was when a guy wanted me cyber and I said no, I'm not interested in guys. He said ok and then asked if I would be interested in phone sex. :doh:

[Kittie]

Do not take to heart what ignorant, shallow minded people say to you, especially over the internet. When people are talking over the internet there is a certain safety and anonymity attatched to whatever they say, things can be said with no apparent consequence (at least from their side). I find this makes people more brazen and it gives them a place to say things that tend not to slide in most communities.

The internet can be wonderful, but sometimes it's very nature dehumanizes a lot of people, which is a shame. I'm sure deep down, people like us don't care what other people think, if we did care; if what people thought really mattered to us, would we try to pursue the things that we do?

The people in that chat room were idiots and just think for every one of them there is 10 (or more!) people that would accept you 100% <3 x

I'm one of them!

x Lacey

[Robertacd]

I made a profile at a chat site

Then surprisingly someone posted links to my flikr and photobucket albums O.O and I had no I idea how they managed to find me! Did they google me...don't think that would work?

What did you put in your profile? Any links to your photo albums? Did you use the same email address, user name, or profile information you used on flikr, photobucket, facebook, myspace, or any other online account you have?

You have to be careful about giving out information. It does not take a genius to look at your chat profile and follow the links or google what is there.

If you do not want any of the trolls to follow you home I suggest you use a "throw away" email address for registering on chat rooms and forums and don't link to or provide info that could lead to any of your other accounts or pictures.

[MsJenna]

I chat all over the place, sometimes as a cd, sometimes as a male, depending on my mood. I have never had any problems either way. I have however, on several occasions, felt the need to stand up to a few bullies and put them in their place. It is often a gay/bi male that joins the room and some testosterone rage jerk decides to pick on them. If it isn't obviously provoked, i am probably stepping up to help defend them.

I just cannot stand a bully. online or in real life.

Jenna

[linnea]

You have to be careful about some things, but I have never had any trouble--sorry that you did.

[aggi123]

I go into chat rooms sometimes on yahoo on my aggi profile. I'm usually pretty honest up front and never have any problems. Though one time, I was talking (i'd already told them I was a CD'er) well someone must not have gotten the message from earlier while we were chatting.

He announced to the whole room "Aggi's a guy".

everyone was like duh, lol

[carhill2mn]

Unfortunately, if "something" is on the internet some place, some people will be able to find it. I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience but it is a good lesson learned to be careful of what you join and say.
The behavior of these people is unexcusable. However, many people will say things online that they would nver say to your face.

[Mikaela]

There are also sites like this: http://namechk.com/
They are meant to help you keep a consistant user name, but it can be used against you, of course.

Also, people post images from their accounts on flickr or facebook and don't realize that their account numbers are embedded in that string.

Feel better!

[Fraye]

I'm really sorry the tone of the original post is one of surprise, because while I never support people being cruel, can any of us really say that's a reaction we would not have anticipated given the scenario? Really?

Also, the minute you put something of yours on the internet, your anonymity is gone forever. Although honestly, that shouldn't be a surprise either.

[KarenCDFL]

We have a Black President

We have Same Sex Marriage is some States and growing! Someday soon it will become a Federal Law and part of our Constitution

You would think by now people would be more open and accepting

This is what happens when you deal with mundanes.

Also consider the losers you find in most chat room such as AOL, Yahoo etc.

They are just there because they have been sitting so long in front of a computer, their butts have become glued to the chair.

And all they are on line for is to meet someone for sex, pics or cam.

Yes, I know I am being way too general in my statement but it is still the truth.

Sigh

[ArleneRaquel]

Karen,
You know CrossdressersChatCity is nice, but even there a few nutjobes get in. I say bigots stay away and mind your own business. :sad:

[My Lady Marsea]

OMG..I hope you are OK and this doesn't like set you back in any way, but as stated earlier, gives you a true lesson in life, esp as a T-Girl. I'm going to be like using only MY:2c: opinion here, but it seems a certain moronic group of guys will go after anything in a skirt, esp in a package such as you are. Then, once they find out what you told them they will (A) still try to hit on you for a curiosity thing or wutever and maybe score and add another notch on their gun or (B) try to aggressively defend their heterosexual status because of their assumption and the testosterone really starts to fly. :2c:
You did nothing wrong except the technical aspect or wutever and yes, like do as suggested, use a easy to set up "throwaway" email and different name in case it goes south as this did. Don't link anything to any other on line entities. This is why I closed all My Space, Tagged, Facebook type accounts. I never met anyone through there anyway. I really feel bad for you, you didn't deserve all the consequences for just doing something you wanted to do.
All we want is to be ourselves without the added drama of the fanatic moron homo/wutever crowd in life.
Hang in there girl.......

[Nicole Erin]

I have a special way of dealing with on-line creeps.
I let them get all intimate and I just act like some naive woman, and eventually come out with it in a nasty way. :devil:

Like this one guy in SL asked me to do voice, he liked my femme avatar, and I said in a husky voice - "Hey sweetie, do you want a taste of this big meaty ****" He said - "you are man" and vanished, haha I had a good laugh :D

BTW one thing - never use the samne user name for more than one thing. all the places I am regged, I have a different user name.

[jaswinter]

I have never been in a chat room. I always wanted to try but after reading about that im not sure if I want to. I can let most things go but I just dont know.....

I am sorry that happened to you

[Nicole Erin]

I have never been in a chat room. I always wanted to try but after reading about that im not sure if I want to. I can let most things go but I just dont know.....

I am sorry that happened to you

Don't forget that there are a lot of people who are e-hard. That means more often than not, the person acting stupid is some pimple-faced teenager who is acting all tough on a chat room.

[jaswinter]

Don't forget that there are a lot of people who are e-hard. That means more often than not, the person acting stupid is some pimple-faced teenager who is acting all tough on a chat room.

Yea I guess so, that does make me feel a little braver on getting onto a chat room. I just dont know where to go.

[randumbness]

I take off my robe and wizard cap.

The Saga of Blood Ninja (http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html)

This sadly made me lol.....

And this tinyeye stuff and other things are making me REALLY paranoid. -_-...but I guess I have to keep my composure, and take the more risque pictures off. I suggest doing that Haley, and don't be discouraged! Though they may be sex hungry, those are not the guys you seek (pardon my Star Wars reference).

Just be careful next time, and chats are for fun if you make them fun. Try not to be offended by the shallowmindedness and with people who think with their genitals.

[eluuzion]

Hiya Haley,

Hey, keep things in perspective here… It is not “the End of the World”,
It is just “the End of YOUR World”. hehehehhee

Talking about taking a knife to a gunfight, wow!

1) “I made a profile at a chat site as a girl”.
So, obviously you intended to deceive everyone.
2) “because I didn't mention I was a CD lol..” Again, “lying by omission”…
3) “a few guys hit on me and I got some private messages (I was rather flattered).”
Setting them up for embarrassment in front of their forum peer group…
4) “blurted out that I was a CD”.
Analogous to announcing in a men’s locker room…
5) “I just maintained that I wasn’t a homosexual and that I was happy with how I was”.
This is the point where you pull your knife and they draw their guns.
6) “surprisingly someone posted links to my flikr and photobucket albums O.O”.
This is just a beginning of the retaliation from the “victims” of your deception
7) “I had no I idea how they managed to find me!”
The Internet is a powerful tool when it comes to data mining/location/tracking/profiling. If you are good at it, it is almost like clipping a GPS tracker to your target. Thinking otherwise is being naïve.
8) “It really made me feel bad”
I would not expect any apologies from the group anytime soon.
9) “and the fact that they could find my photo albums made me feel scared”
Some people can find your ISP, your IP, your email, your online activities, all the way to finding your home address. (if they are skilled). But don’t worry, there are tons of folks that will try and convince you that those things are “impossible”…lol
10) “Some people can be so ignorant.”
No comment, :heehee:

There are a few actions that are almost guaranteed to attract road rage when driving. The same applies to chat rooms/forums that include “romantic/flirting” components. One of these actions is to pretend to be the opposite sex. The only thing worse is to try and bait unsuspecting admirers into expressing a sexual interest. A sure way to start a hanging posse...

I think it is safe to assume that your integrity and character are pretty much shot on that site. :battingeyelashes:

It is just one of those things like “egging” the house of “the grumpy old man of the neighborhood” when we were kids. Seems like a harmless, humorous prank, until you see the rifle barrel poking out a window and a laser dot glowing on your chest… Sometimes the best strategy is to run away, chalk it up to “experience”, regroup and move on…life is short.

HaveFun/BeHappy…
:love:

[Andi]

Speaking of safety and being afraid, I recently learned that some digital cameras, cell phone cameras (iphone I know for sure) will put GPS data in the photo description. If you pull up the photos it will map the location taken to a street map. Anyone else know more about this?? This is spooky!! So, be careful .......

[jaswinter]

Speaking of safety and being afraid, I recently learned that some digital cameras, cell phone cameras (iphone I know for sure) will put GPS data in the photo description. If you pull up the photos it will map the location taken to a street map. Anyone else know more about this?? This is spooky!! So, be careful .......


The iPhones do that, and I think that all the new blackberrys will as well. I have a HTC EVO4 from Sprint, it uses the android software and with any phone that has the android OS you have the option to turn the GPS data for pictures on and off.

[Angie G]

If Sorry you had to go through that but think about it you lied and got bussed.I may have acted the same if I was one of them.Keep things forthright and you not got in dutch hun. And stay out of chat rooms girl.:hugs:
Angie

[LisaTaylor]

I avoid chat rooms like the plague, regardless of what mode I'm in. They are generally full of trolls.

[Nicole Erin]

Just go into the chat rooms and say things like ZOMG lollerco4st3rzzz pwn3d!" and you will fit right in.

[Pythos]

Every, and I mean every chat room, I am open and honest.

I say I am a straight guy, that prefers an androgynous appearance, with a gothic edge. I also do full on crossdressing. I do not deceive. The moment I get from men or women flirtatious messages, I point out "I'm a trap" or something like that. (to quote Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi).

I will not lead anyone on.

Deception helps no one, especially in such ignorance laden places as chat rooms.

What the O.P. did was wrong, but I am sure everyone has done it. It is interesting to see the lines some guys think are flattering like "I wanna run my tongue from your thigh to your clitty", real classy there bo bo. LOL.

If there is a profile, I will put that I am male.

Everyone of the chat rooms I participate in I am respected, and well liked. There is no animosity. The one pic I have shown draws compliments from all. One guy said an ignorant statement, and was dog piled by the others.

So there ya go, if you are honest and open, you will usually fair well. If you deceive then you run a risk of pissing some people off.

[Ashley_Marie]

Hi all,

My advice is you have to be careful who you come out to online. I had an experience worse then Haley's. I had people calling me a names, I had a few even saying I needed to be checked into a mental hospital, and a few other things I don't want to talk about.

Now a days I watch who I come out to, online. You never know what kind of thing might happen.

[Frédérique]

I was bored this afternoon…

Dear Haley,

If you’re bored, send me a PM and we’ll have a decent chat. Not as…immediate…as a chat room, I suppose, but infinitely friendlier, more open-minded, and completely non-threatening. I would suggest revealing a desire to crossdress only among other crossdressers, since this particular declaration seems to open a veritable Pandora’s Box of bigotry at the time and place we find ourselves in. I expect to be called all sorts of names by mentally-challenged yahoos, so I keep my secrets close to my bosom (literally). Here, on this site, it feels like one is blossoming among other beautiful flowers in a highly secretive garden – oh, there’s a dark cloud floating by now and then, but by and large the atmosphere is supportive, loving, and sympathetic. The circumstances of the chat room are something I avoid like the plague, since infection is a definite possibility, and I’m a tender petal that needs careful nurturing. Ultimately, it’s up to each individual to be happy, but there are others (like me) who can nourish your delicate CD nature without censure…:battingeyelashes:

[Shananigans]

You go to a chatroom thinking that you can portray a different personality. It feels anonymous. But, nothing is ever anon.

Trolls can find anything. Even on anon boards, they have traced other posts people have made on the net, found their address on google maps, and where they work.

You see that type of stuff unfold all of the time on other boards. You have to be careful.

[MsJanessa]

I dont mind so much guys cyber hitting on---it's a bit flattering in truth--what I mind are guys who become abuse, either because they find out I"m CD or if I don't respond to their advances---

[Pythos]

I like it when GGs hit on me. LOL.

Of course it is difficult to tell who is GG an who is male.

[HairyBethCD]

I used to use CuSeeMe back in the day for multiway video chats and generally everyone there was cool. I was always upfront about exactly what people were getting and often, it was other women who were most interested! I've never tried normal text only chat rooms though.

[AnonymousSupport]

I was in a chat room a few nights ago and a MTF came in. It was quite upsetting to watch her get verbally abused like that, so I sent her a private message and told her to join this forum so she could discuss anything without being attacked.

I wonder if she ended up checking out the forum.

People can be so ignorant and mean. :sad:

[kimdl93]

I've been in chat rooms and acknowledges being a CDer...the reactions are common. In my case, I'd been part of a chat for several weeks before I let that information out. Some of the people I'd grown closer to were pretty cool with it, but there were the usual jerks too. Such is the world we live in.

[DonnaT]

there seems to be far more single men , than single women that are looking.
Who says they are really single?