How long ....

[rocval2001]

Good morning - I hope all are doing well. I was just wondering out of curiosity when you started to see a therapist how long before they said "yup you are a female"
I am sure each case is different - just wondering

Thank you

[Faith_G]

That wasn't in question when I started therapy. I went as a woman and my therapist accepted me as a woman.

[JenniferZ2009]

same here. From day 2. Day 1 i was running late from work and i went there as a guy. Day 2 my therapist said she only saw a female sitting across from here

[ReneeT]

Same here as well - my therapist only knows me as Renee. TThe diagnosis has never been in question. I only go en femme

[Kathryn Martin]

My therapist only knows me as a male. I will see her starting the 31st of the month to discuss with her if she is qualified in this area. She will be surprised by my coming out to her. I am seeing her to help me sorting through all my feelings and thoughts about Kathryn. We will see:daydreaming:

[noeleena]

Hi .

As a out sider i was dressed as a male saw our G P off to the psych in 3 / 4 weeks once .then cleared, off to our endo, with in weeks, h r t with in 3 months at my request . s r s & b a , with in 3 years oh at the time no name changes till later from noel to noeleena.
Now why would i need to see a therapist not likely & at age 56 at the time i dont think so. nore would . like i said i was on the out side of most details that yous go through.
No one ever told me what i was , i told them . im a woman well i all ways have been , so no probs. & how im dressed would & did not have a bearing on any thing.

...noeleena...

[Frances]

They never did and never will. It is not the way the gender clinic I went to works.

[Billijo49504]

My first visit was in male mode, kinda a chance to feel each other out. The second visit, I was dressed and he came to the door, looked around and started to turn around, till I called his name. He said I made a better woman than a guy. Then we worked thru the, your not gay thing. So I guess he agreed with me that there was a woman inside, by the second meeting....BJ

[Ze]

On the first day. When I went in as male, they saw me as such. This was the same reaction with the three therapists I bounced around from (insurance reasons). Amusingly enough, I was the one trying to convince them that I wasn't trans, and after several sessions being centered around this, they eventually started telling me to shut up.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I went for months as a guy..i was working in a corporate office, and i was getting more and more freaked out about my life..i was only dressing during weekends and when i got the chance to go out.

i thought going "dressed" would be a big deal but it wasnt..

therapy is meant to help you, so my thinking is do whatever you think helps you the most based on how your therapist or therapy center works

[sandra-leigh]

They never did and never will. It is not the way the gender clinic I went to works.

Same here; my gender therapist believes that most people are a mix.

When I talked to her about the book The Female Brain and how I didn't feel I matched with most of what "females" were supposedly like, she politely but firmly pointed out many exceptions to the composite image of "female" that the book presented. She then proceeded to semi-embarrass me by pointing out one of my character traits that is typically strongly associated with "female" and which she said I had in stronger measure than anyone she has ever met in her professional work.

The question to her is not whether I am or am not "female", but rather what makes me comfortable and happy and how I want to live my life. Don't live the label, live yourself.


A fair question would be whether, on the whole, taken together, my traits are more typical of "male" or "female"; as best I can tell, my therapist's answer to that would be that I'm unclassifiable, that too much of me is not typical.

[Stephanie-L]

By the second visit my therapist said I was TG and would write letters for hormones and breast augmentation. I know it would have taken longer if I wanted ful SRS, but it was really that quick.....Stephanie

[Starling]

...The question to her is not whether I am or am not "female", but rather what makes me comfortable and happy and how I want to live my life. Don't live the label, live yourself...

I wouldn't have to change one essential thing about my life if I had a vagina. I could have the same work, enjoy the same hobbies and love the same people. I would just be happier.

I have discovered, along the gender continuum, a certain kind of western woman who is a model for the social role I would feel most comfortable in, a role that would align my brain and my body. Her characteristics don't matter to anyone else. What matters is whether I have the courage to live her.

:) Lallie

[Faith_G]

I wouldn't have to change one essential thing about my life if I had a vagina. I could have the same work, enjoy the same hobbies and love the same people. I would just be happier.Isn't that a great place to be? :happy:

All this talk of male and female characteristics really doesn't have much to do with being TS as I understand it. It's about my body and how I understand myself, not what I like to do for fun or how much I like babies.

[iloveps]

Isn't that a great place to be? :happy:

All this talk of male and female characteristics really doesn't have much to do with being TS as I understand it. It's about my body and how I understand myself, not what I like to do for fun or how much I like babies.

as someone just starting on this journey with a lot of questions about myself this makes me happy.:D

[CharleneT]

Like many others, it was from day one, but I was also living as a woman by then (in the "everywhere but work" category). She does know my male name, but I wasn't using it. Nor any real male attributes, so it was maybe different than your situation.

[Ashlie Marie]

Guess mine is sorta the same.. I started therepy after that one morning I woke up a year or so ago and said to my wife hey I think I'm a girl. that was a great giggle that morning. month latter I was and will ever be the girl I am :-)

[BreenaDion]

I whent an saw a Psychotherapist after months of searching my erea but I have to travel 79.85 miles one way to see her. She is well known in Massachusetts an highly respected among her peers. LOL here is the Kick, funny to me but very emontionally Painful. I was 54 yrs old an I started to awaken. Yes I am what books are writen about. I after a yr am still looking at this with a clinical Psychologist.

As I told my GID lady I am female an I Had an awaking. We talked an I told her How I was born a TS . My gender is female an always has been just my very abusive mother brain washed me an beat me into submission at ages 4 to 6 . Breena had to hide within the male to survive.

In detail I explained the process an there was never a question of my gender.
I dress as a male when I see her an its been a year now. This tuesday is my next appointment. I will ride my Motorcycle to her office 160 miles round trip.

I told her about my wig an she wanted to see it on me so I completely dressed to the nines for her. That was last October 09 an she said I was very comfortable in womans clothing . LOL no chit its what I am.

Ask an I'll tell you more .

Bree

[StaceyJane]

My first therapy seesion I went in all male mode.
The second session I was underdressed with pantyhose which I discussed with my therapist.
The third time I went as Stacey. From then on I have always gone as Stacey. My therapist always calls me Stacey and refers to me as a woman during our sessions.

[Schatten Lupus]

Dunno. Hopefully not too long. But it's going to be a year to a year and a half before I start seeing a therapist.

[Starling]

I have gone to a very good therapist, not lately, but for an extended period. Although after many sessions I finally told her I was a crossdresser, I did not go into the TS thing because it was clear from her observations that while being sympathetic, she was not an expert in gender issues.

But it is now time for me to see a gender therapist, because I have reached a critical point in my life. Like Breena, only more so, I am well along in life's journey, and I yearn for it to take a different course from the one I've been on for so many years, of shameful, furtive cross-dressing in the hours between midnight and dawn.

Sooner or later, a serious person has to take a serious step. I will dress as Lallie when I see the gender therapist.

:) Lallie

[sandra-leigh]

I will dress as Lallie when I see the gender therapist.

I usually schedule my gender therapy appointments just before the start of my work day.

I wear a skirt or dress directly from home to my appointment when feasible (easier to do when a long coat is appropriate wear for the weather.) If not, then if I had time to grab something and I'm not late for the appointment, I put it on -- even if it is just a skirt.

I don't wear a skirt or dress to the gender appointment to "try to be convincing" or something like that: I do it because I like to dress and it's a great excuse to do so in an accepting atmosphere. Besides, I have to get some use out of all of those things I buy :battingeyelashes:

But dressing for the appointment doesn't "transform me", or at least not consciously: I do not notice myself "entering a feminine frame of mind" or anything like that. Wearing the clothes does feel good though (not "exciting!"), and I probably am more open and freer when I'm dressed, having lowered the protective male colouration.

I have also chosen to specifically wear my work clothes to my gender appointments, since those clothes show how I live most of the time (i.e., women's clothes but not so obvious as to force people to react) -- or sometimes I wear my work clothes to show how daring I've gotten in my work life.

With regard to the name used during my appointments: I use my male name. My therapist asked what name I would like to use, and that was right about the time I was giving up "Tess" but before I'd found anything else, so my male name was easier. "Sandra" hasn't really settled into my bones either... somehow it doesn't feel like the really right name for me.

Meanwhile, using my male name is not nearly as inappropriate as it would be for many of you, in that I am much more publicly transgendered (mixed-gendered) than most of you are, so a lot of people who know I CD / TG know me by my male name. Possibly I will switch to using a female name publicly in the future.

I dodge the trouble of "living a double life" by (as feasible) living a single life instead. Considering that nearly everyone I've met in both modes has immediately recognized me (longest delay I've witnessed was 3 seconds), telling one name to some people and another name to other people becomes kinda pointless, except in so far as names are also guides in gender roles.

[Hope]

My therapist never has said such a thing. That is not why I go to see her. When I started seeing her it was because I knew I was TG, and the question was - what does that mean for me. My therapist has said that she will write me a hormone letter whenever I want it - but she has never said "yup - it's a girl!"

You shouldn't go to therapy looking for affirmation or answers - a competent therapist won't provide you wit them, but they will help you find your own answers.

[prene]

Same here; my gender therapist believes that most people are a mix.

When I talked to her about the book The Female Brain and how I didn't feel I matched with most of what "females" were supposedly like, she politely but firmly pointed out many exceptions to the composite image of "female" that the book presented. She then proceeded to semi-embarrass me by pointing out one of my character traits that is typically strongly associated with "female" and which she said I had in stronger measure than anyone she has ever met in her professional work.

The question to her is not whether I am or am not "female", but rather what makes me comfortable and happy and how I want to live my life. Don't live the label, live yourself.



A fair question would be whether, on the whole, taken together, my traits are more typical of "male" or "female"; as best I can tell, my therapist's answer to that would be that I'm unclassifiable, that too much of me is not typical.


Sound like my therapist. "Most people are a Mix".

[rocval2001]

Thanks Girls...and boy - always say you guys are the best .

[Starling]

Yes, we are a mix, but as the proportions of the recipe shift, the end product can clearly change from bread to cake. Does that make any sense as a metaphor?

:) Lallie

[Melody Moore]

I dont think any specialist doctor or therapist will ever say 'Yep, you are a woman'. I got on HRT within 6 weeks of seeing a regular GP as a male and showing him my photos. His words were... 'Oh my, you really are a beautiful woman' as is jaw dropped on the floor. LOL

But the first specialist I went to see first seen me as a woman and said 'For someone just coming out, you are really advanced'. I told her that I made my mind up 2 years earlier that I was going to transition and had been doing all I could to feminise myself during that time. This included learning about Make-up, female mannerisms & speech training which has obviously helped a lot. The first specialist made another appointment for me to come back and see a second specialist a bit over a week later - obviously because she wanted that second opinion.

I went back to my second appointment as well as a woman. I told the second specialist that I was really comfortable being out in public she said the exact same thing in that I was very advanced for someone coming out. After a brief discussion about how things had been going since I had started living as my 'true self' and also about HRT, she prescribed my medications for me. So I guess that is how long it takes for them to say 'Yep, you are a woman' LOL

I still think Im lucky though ;)

[luvSophia]

You shouldn't go to therapy looking for affirmation or answers - a competent therapist won't provide you wit them, but they will help you find your own answers.
My thoughts exactly. My therapist has never professionally told me I was anything. And that was never the reason why I went to see her. She has helped me along a path of discovery but she never took my hand and dragged me there. I did see her socially one time and she asked why I wasn't in the pool. After I complained that I just spent 30 minutes doing my hair she said "You are such a woman!" That's as close as she has come.

[CharleneT]

. . .
You shouldn't go to therapy looking for affirmation or answers - a competent therapist won't provide you wit them, but they will help you find your own answers.

:iagree:

B I N G O !!

:thumbsup::thumbsup: