Do you have a wife or gf that knows you CD?

[melissacd33]

I am curious how many of you have a girlfriend or a wife that knows you dress and accepts it? I've been reading through the posts and noticed that a lot of members actually have wives that are accepting. Is this a fairly common thing? My gf has no idea that I dress. I've hinted at the subject many times and know she would not approve. She gets upset when I shave my chest or armpits. She tells me "Men should have hair! Not be shaved."

Just curious how many of you have someone who accepts your "other side." And those that do...I'm jealous. :)

[ColleenW]

My wife knows and accepts up to a point. She doesn't mind most clothes but really doesn't like my wearing bras.:o

[pernille d]

my wife freaks too if i even trim my hair , thats how some are i guess .

re accepting ,
some dont approve but love there partner so can turn a blind eye, and there are others that simply help in every way and embrace ther partner as a cd .

i think therefore it can be split into two groups put those who accept and the others that have tolerance .

my wife i would say is more tolerant than accepting

[Jay Cee]

My gf of almost two years knows. I told her early on in the relationship. She was cool enough to understand, and patient enough for me to come to terms with it myself.

If you think that your gf won't accept it, and you are sure that you will keep crossdressing.. well, it will be a difficult road to drive down, if you know what I am saying.

[melissacd33]

Yeah, I had a past girlfriend that was very accepting of it actually. We even went shopping together for girly clothes for me. :D That was fun and a really big turn on...for both of us!

[KristinSkye]

She tells me "Men should have hair! Not be shaved."


My wife said the exact same thing when I brought up shaving my legs lol.





But anyway my wife does know. I told her about my CD/TG'nes this past January and she has been very understanding and accommodating. She doesn't mind seeing my fully en femme every once in a while but she also isn't at all interested in experiencing this side of myself first hand. As much as I would like for her to get involved I completely understand why she is reluctant. All in all as far as accepting SO's go I'm pretty damn lucky :)

I noticed you said she doesn't know yet and I'd like to give you some advice. Don't wait too long to tell her and if you think she is the "one" DO NOT wait until after your married to tell her.

My wife and I had been married 2 years when I finally got the guts to tell her and she was, for good reason, mad at me for months for not telling her sooner. She felt like she had been lied to. When you feel the time is right you need to tell her, especially if you truly love her and start thinking about marriage.

[AKAMichelle]

Wife knows and doesn't accept. We are in the middle of a divorce so I guess I am looking for one accepting GF.

[sandra-leigh]

My wife is more tolerant than a number I've read about, even approving of some aspects, but she doesn't really understand and doesn't "work at" trying to understand. More like she gets used to things and they stop bothering her. Not without reversals from time to time.

[Sophie86]

My wife knows. She is accepting and supportive within limits. She doesn't want me to be out with the kids, but it's okay for them to see me dressed for something like Halloween or a costume party. She also is very nervous about the idea of me going out in public. We've only been to friends' houses with me dressed. On the other hand, she has bought me make up and clothes, given me her hand-me-downs, altered things for me, and she makes it possible for me to have girl time at the house without the kids. About once a month we pack the children off to relatives and have ourselves a girls' night in.

[pernille d]

[QUOTE=KristinSkye;2243305



I noticed you said she doesn't know yet and I'd like to give you some advice. Don't wait too long to tell her and if you think she is the "one" DO NOT wait until after your married to tell her.
[/QUOTE]

true true . i have had 22 years of marrage with pernille in the closset , what a waist of my energy worrying and hideing , it just took me too long to find out who and what i was. if the question is to help you decise to tell her do yourself and her a favour and get it out in the open now !

[JainaCarpaccio]

I just recently came out to my ex, and despite the fact we aren't together anymore, she's been very supportive.

[Billijo49504]

My wife even buys me clothes. And she knows I'm in counciling for gender issues. Thursday I told her that I was going to get my hormone lettter. She asked what about her, I told her the only way she was going to get rid of me was to shoot me. 99% of my clothes came from LB, Ave or Dot's. So I crossdress every day. I wear panties 24/7 and I wear a bra every day for support. So I guess the short answer is YES, she knows...BJ

[gailprice]

I am one of the lucky ones. My girl friend knows and is fully accepting. She asked me to marry her last weekend.

My ex wife was not accepting and gave me hell when she found out about Gail. Very messy divorce.

[melissacd33]

I noticed you said she doesn't know yet and I'd like to give you some advice. Don't wait too long to tell her and if you think she is the "one" DO NOT wait until after your married to tell her.


That freaks me out a bit since I know telling her would most likely result in the end of our relationship. We've been together for a very long time and love each other a lot.

I hate the conflicted feeling of wanting to just be who I want to be, yet not knowing what I want to be.

[JainaCarpaccio]

That freaks me out a bit since I know telling her would most likely result in the end of our relationship. We've been together for a very long time and love each other a lot.

I hate the conflicted feeling of wanting to just be who I want to be, yet not knowing what I want to be.

Surprisingly this is what resulted in the end of my last relationship, not telling her. When i told her a few weeks ago, officially an ex, she was actually wanting to lovingly smack me over the head for thinking it made any difference to her.


Every woman is different. You should tell her, just get it over with. If she doesn't accept it she doesn't, but if she does terrific. it's a load off both your chests either way.

[Engendered]

Every girl I've been with has been accepting and encouraging, but that's simply because they all know straight away. This is something that for me is no nonsense and non-negotiable. I don't want to be with someone who tolerates. I want someone who looks at me with love no matter what I'm wearing.
Fear of loneliness (amongst other things [wanting kids is another example]), can drive people into compromising, and when it comes to compromises, CDing is an easy thing to do it with (since we all have a knawing part of ourselves deep down that thinks it's weird). I hope to never be in a situation that makes me compromise such an important part of me.

[LitaKelley]

I actually started crossdressing because my wife accepted that I enjoyed wearing panties and one night she asked if I can dress as a girl for halloween, and the idea turned me on so much that I wanted to see what I would look like, and well, once I had the stockings, lingerie, skirt, makeup and wig on I LOVED it and been doing it ever since as I enjoy it so much.

My wife and I had a little roller coaster ride with the package, but she's finally accepting of it, as well as myself accepting of it.

[BRANDYJ]

My present SO knows, accepts, and is happy with me the way I am. She met me on-line at a site that I had posted a profile with both male and female modes of dress. So it was actually partly why she was attracted to me and made first contact. My ex-wife knew and accepted with no reservations and my wife that passed away before her also knew and accepted. So for about the past 35-37 years I have always had a loving partner that knew, accepted and even enjoyed me in either mode. I have been lucky I guess. But I would never consider hiding it from a potential mate. I could not do that for many reasons.

[t-girlxsophie]

I am very lucky that my wife fully supports my dressing and is very understanding of Sophie.she knew from beginning.I didnt want to make the same mistakes that I made in my first marriage.I am so lucky that she loves both sides of me.we love nothing better than sharing girlie times together.I try to show her how much I appreciate her every chance I get.I am so much in love with her she is most beautiful person i know:love::daydreaming:

:hugs:Sophie x

[5150 Girl]

Not only does my Polar bear accept, but somtimes, I think she lies Wynonna better!

[linnea]

Your girlfriend apparently has not observed many elite male athletes. Swimmers are the most obvious but also wrestlers, boxers, mixed martial artists, and other athletes commonly and unashamedly shave their legs and chests. Of course there are some hirsute exceptions, but it is common practice. Have her look at the "hunks" in many advertisements for every thing from Jockey shorts to razors; most of them are hair-free or nearly so.
My wife now knows, but although she is accepting, she is very hesitant about her acceptance. It has taken months and months for her to reach this point, but she knows that I dress en femme and recently (two days ago) picked out some panties for me with me at a department store. We bought three pairs, but she doesn't want to see me in them.

[Jenniferpl]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. My wife is accepting. Buys my makeup.

[PretzelGirl]

I consider myself blessed. My wife is not only supporting, but gives me a shove when I debate over whether to do something. She is also active with my Tri-Ess group. Not all agree, but I attribute it to letting my dressing develop with her being in the loop the whole way. This way she had the opportunity to tell me if she was uncomfortable and she learned as I learned (a lot of the time, the wife is playing catch up on CD knowledge).

[Lexi X]

My wife and I had a little roller coaster ride with the package, but she's finally accepting of it, as well as myself accepting of it.

My too. My wife got a little freaked at first but now she really pushes me to accept myself more. She accepts me a lot more than I do. I still struggle a lot with society. I think the key is to move the process along at her pace. I went to quick and my wife got freaked out. It was when I backed off that she ended up accepting me and moving ahead of where I'm at.

[marisa]

my sujestion would be to sit her down and have " the talk" with her before to much time goes by. trust is a hard thing to get these days and even harder to get back once it's lost. if she asks why you waited so long to tell her, just say you needed to try and find out if she would be able to accept it and go from there. if she truely does love you for who you are then she might be able to deal with it. what ever you do, do not get your back up and get all defensive. it will make things worse. be calm, she'll likely have a million questions for ya. just answer as best you can.
i told my g/f about my alter ego about 5 months into the relationship. it took her a very very short time to process the info. like about 10 minutes. we've grown very close since then.we've been together almost 3 yrs now. she fully accepts, supports and encourages me. plus she said she'll be my body gaurd if anyone try's to hurt me. we've had the what if talk about the future as well. she told me that if at some point i need or have to take things futher for my personal well being that she''ll stand right beside me through it all. honestly, i think she knows that if money wasn't an issue i would have been well down that road already.
i wish you all the best with your g/f.

[susiegrl19]

My wife has known for years and supports me 100%.

[cdinmd206]

Mine knows and basicly accepts it. We have been shopping together, but I was not dressed. We have been out to gay/drag bars with both of us dressed to show off our stocking tops and garter straps. I have been told I have better legs than hers but with her natural 40D's she beats me out in the tit and ass department!!!!
She now refers to me as her big sister she never had, but is quick to point out that she is not into incest. lol
Oh well, I will take whatever I can get.

[Marcia Blue]

My wife knows and accepts to a degree. She does not want to see me in a dress, wig, or make-up. I can where shorts, Capri's, jeans, bra, forms, lipstick, frilly tops, and heels around her. She incouraged me to go to a Tri-Ess meeting and join. We have gone shopping with me in drab. She has also picked up makeup for me. She is slowly getting there, maybe. She has only known for almost a year. We have been married more than 20 years. I vote to tell before marriage, easier in the long run.

[Angiemead12]

My life partner knows, loves, supports and accepts! We have play dates at least once a month! But it dint start out that easy, I did have to work on it a lot to get to where I am now. But it was all a worth it! :hugs:

[Michelle James]

My wife is very accepting with the acception of being a little freaked about people she works with finding out. I can live with that. She went with me yesterday to pick out new boobs. We clothes shop all the time. She is a nail tech and does my mani pedis and just waxed my eyebrows for the first time. i talked to her about going to some clubs or weekend things and she seems excited to get out and meet othe people.

[sherib]

My wife knows, but she told me she will never accept or participate And as long as I don't dress around her, she's satisfied. But ever now and then, she will give me someting. Like a pair of panythose or a bracelet she doen't want.

[Veronica Lacey]

My wife has known of my dressing since a few weeks into our relationship and we have now been together for over 16 years.

She accepts that I dress but that is where it stops for her. All wardrobe acquisitions, dressing and the like are done on my own time and money and out of view. It is not exactly what I want but I am fortunate for this and accept it as is.

[Charlena]

My Lovely spouse supports me more than I could wish for. But please do not try to hide it, supress it, deny it, for twenty years like I did. Twenty years of living as who I was not. Good luck on your journey my friend.
Charlena

[boardpuppy]

The SO has know for about 1 1/2 years, been marrried for 40 plus. Having the talk before a steady relationship developes is the best idea. I dress in front of her but I'm nervous. She hasn't seen me dressed to the nines yet but I'm working on it.

Hugs,
Alice

[melissacd33]

Thanks for talking about your SOs, everyone. I appreciate the input and feedback. It's great to hear that so many of you have loves in your life that are so accepting. :)

[sissystephanie]

I told my late wife I was a CD when I proposed to her. She not only accepted me, but also supported me for the almost 50 years we had together. Always doing my makeup and fixing my wig! I live in the U.S.A. and my girl friend lives in the U.K. She does know and also supports me. I believe in total honesty, so any lady in my life is going to know all about me!

[Ms Taken]

My wife discovered my dressing this past spring. It has not been easy or comfortable, but she has helped me tremendously. She found me a wonderful woman therapist who has transitioned. She even dressed me up and took me out to a drag show at a local bar one night! Things are not always easy though. Open communication is key, although it isn't always easy. I just wish I would have told her when we met. Things would be a lot easier right now.

[Valerie1973]

I've never rally told my wife, but she does have some suspicion. She hates it when I shave my chest and makes a big deal about being clean shaved. "Oh, your at it again" she'll say. And she has told me things like she knows things about me I think she doesn't know. I have dressed in full en femme for Halloween and she told me I enjoyed it too much. I have never openly admitted it to her, I have given her hints and have talked about cross dressers and then she says it sick, appalling shes just plain negative. However, my Halloween adventure was considered harmless. Its ok if she's teasing me about it, but if I agree to it than its going to be ugly. I know her too well. So why haven't I told her already? Well there are many reasons. Last year her dad died, the year before that we were struggling with our mortgage and it goes on. we have enough problems, and kids. I did the Halloween thing in 07. At that time I was close to telling her but of course other thing stressed her out. She is too stressed out all the time. I can go on all night, so I'll shut up now. :doh: Valerie

All I wanted was a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me.

[Andrea Reynolds]

my wife tolerates my crossdressing. She prefers that I don't dress. Although, she doesn't mind me underdressing and has occasionally bought me bras and panties. Andrea

[Taylor186]

My wife tolerates my crossdressing but she is certainly not enthusiastic about it. That said, she has been to support group meetings with me and I have no problems if I'm fully dressed in front of her, as long as I don't do it to often.

I'm on my own for shopping (have mail order sent openly to the house), I try to fit dressing in while she's out and she basically doesn't want to talk about it that often. This arrangement seems to be working for 10 years now.

[Sedona]

Melissa, if you're serious about this gf (i.e. you plan to marry or make a long-term life together), tell her sooner rather than later.

I came out to my wife, five years ago, six months into dating. It was hard, she doesn't understand completely, but she deals with it. I'm not a CDer who has to dress all the time, so this helps a lot. We make a lot of compromises, but I'd rather be with her and have some tension on occasion, rather than be without her and no tension. Depends on what's important to you. . .

[Danni Bear]

An S.O. that knows and accepts is actually not that rare. Most times the non-acceptance comes from not knowing and or from not wanting to let it be known.

My situation was different from most. I not only have a knowing and supportive S.O. and have for years. We are both now T.S post-op. So as you can guess its been a strange road we traveled.

:hugs:
Danni

[StephanieDragg]

My wife knows I dress and is ok for the most part, she has gone out a few times with me shopping but sometimes doesn't like when I keep shaving my legs. She seems to like my shopping for clothes with me which I really enjoy

[Nicki S]

I am in the group with the lucky girls. I told my GF a year ago and she was accepting and supportive right from the first conservation. We have gone out shopping numerous time together and have also gone out to the clubs a few times.
I have very recently told her that I wanted to grow some breasts and start on HRT. She accepts this and says she will support me 100%. She has no problems telling her friends or family about me. She seems un-phased by other peoples opinions. I have a wonderful woman!

[Sarah_GG]

I've hinted at the subject many times and know she would not approve.

Hinting is not telling. If you really want your girlfriend to know, you need to have a proper discussion about it. She may feel hurt that you've hidden this side of yourself from her, that you didn't trust her enough to share it. Hints go way off target. They don't work.

Why are you so sure she would not approve? Is she not as broadminded as you? Is she closed off to other things that you like - films, books, plays, nights out? Do you share anything as a couple?

I've asked the question many times on this forum, but i'm asking you because I guess you're young and because we now live in more enlightened times. If you accept that the CDing is part of who you are, then it's fair to share that with your partner, the person who you might end up sharing your life with. If she is unaccepting now, then is she really the person you should be with?

[Crystal Alberta]

I'm not married. but my girlfriend knows and is completely supportive. I absolutely love having her involved in this part of my life, but then I have made it a point to be honest with her. I told her within our first week of going out, and haven't hid anything since.

Crystal

[HairyBethCD]

My last g/f was really cool and we even turned it to our advantage ("pretend your a lesbian coming on to me but I'm straight"). She used to help me shop etc too. My wife is OK to a point. She understands it's something I need to do and it's not going away but she doesn't want to see it or help with it although in the early days she did help me shopping for undies. She's also very much of a 'I like my men hairy' so I can't shave in any shape or form which is a real bummer. Still, could be a lot worse! I'd echo what others have said though, tell early if at all possible. In most cases, it's the deceipt that hurts not the crossdressing.

[Patty B.]

Melissacd33 I really feel for you, you really should talk to your gf about this, you are a cd. I went 28 years of marriage before I told my wife, and it hasn't been easy, sometimes better than others. The deceit and lying, loss of trust has been the worst of it, was a real mistake not telling her before marriage. If you tell her you may lose her, but if you dont you may lose her because she'll suspect somethings wrong somewhere, somehow. My advice is let her make the choice before its to late and may not have any other options later on in life.

[CdChloe]

My wife knows of it and accepts it, but she does have her limits. Most of the "heavy dressing" she prefers I give advance warning, she doesn't like coming out in the morning looking for her husband and finding her girlfriend, which I can understand. She knew about it before we got married and actually mentioned at one point that once we got to the hotel room after our reception that we'd trade outfits and I'd wear the dress :) didn't happen but that she felt open enough to talk about it like that makes me glad I married her!

[DAVIDA]

Hi Melissa!
Lucky one here!:D
Jean has known since the day I asked her to marry me.
Here it was, the hardest thing that I had ever done before and had never told anyone. I told her that I just couldn't get married without giving her the option of not wanting a life like this.
She looked at me and said "So!":eek:
That conversation was twenty years ago this month!:D
She is the one who helped me accept who I am.
So yes, I am one of the lucky ones.
I wear the clothes at all times I am home. We ask each other about fashion sugestions all the time.:)

[KandisTX]

My wife has known about Kandis since 1995. We've been married since 2002, so she has known since long before we ever got involved with one another, and well before we got married. :) I really do consider myself very lucky to have an understanding and accepting wife, and of course now our daughter has known since she was 9 or 10 years old, (she just turned 15 last Tuesday).

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Mandy]

My gf knows I CD:D seen all the clothes ect, but tollerates it & keeps reminding me she dosent approve:tongueout

[JamieG]

There's been so many replies here, I don't think I can give any novel advice; however posting does help to show how many can make CDing and marriage work. I told my wife a year after we were married, but before we had kids. We've had some up and downs over the eight year since, but in the end I think it has brought us closer together. She isn't thrilled with the fact that I CD, but she loves me and supports me. We have found the right balance in our lives to keep both of us happy.

If I could go back and do it over again, I would have told her before we got married; not giving her a chance to know what she was getting into was the toughest thing for her to accept.

[marian]

My wife doesn't know about my CD. I know her and i am quite sure she never will accept it. So, I really don't know if I want to share with her at the risk of losing her.

[StaceyJane]

My wife knows and accepts me. She isn't ready to see me as a woman yet so I don't dress around her. I do have two days a week when I'm off work and she is at work so that gives me lots of time to be Stacey.
I also have a closet in one of the spare bedrooms that I keep all of Stacey's clothes. My wife knows about this and she stays out of that room.

[Elsa von Spielburg]

Not only is she fully supportive, hell, it was my GF that really helped fully flip the switch in my brain. I knew I was different and after some pillow-talk and gentle prodding, she really helped bring it to light.

[JulieC]

That freaks me out a bit since I know telling her would most likely result in the end of our relationship. We've been together for a very long time and love each other a lot.

I hate the conflicted feeling of wanting to just be who I want to be, yet not knowing what I want to be.

You have a choice to make. It's not an easy one, no matter which way you decide.

First, let me say this; it is extremely unlikely that you can stop being a crossdresser. I've never heard of anyone being successful at suppressing crossdressing desires. It just doesn't work. I could go on for a while about this, and if you'd like we can talk via e-mail here about that. But, accepting it as de facto that you are going to be a crossdresser for the rest of your life, you then have a choice between two equally tough roads.

One, you can tell your girlfriend. From what you say, there's a huge chance it would be the end of your relationship. A woman you love very much would be gone from your life forever. The turmoil it would cause in your life would be quite large. It's possible (I've no idea what she would do) she might out you to friends and family. Scary, at best.

Two, you can not tell her. You've been with her a very long time, and you both love each other very much. It seems likely, based on that, you will marry her someday. Do you want to live the rest of your life hiding this secret from her? Do you want to live in fear of the day she discovers your little secret, implodes, kicks you out, and demands sole custody of your children?

You're in a pickle, to be sure. There's no easy way out.

I've been married for quite a while now. My wife knows and accepts that I am a crossdresser. It does not create problems for us, and we have a very happy and stable marriage. But, while some might say "you're lucky!!!" it's luck I helped make for myself.

There came a time in my life when I recognized I would be a crossdresser for life. A few years after that, I recognized that I couldn't live a lie; any girlfriend I had would have to know. So, they were told. A few years after that, I became strong enough to insist that not only was any prospective spouse of mine going to have to know, they were going to have to accept and not treat me like crap because I enjoy wearing dresses, heels, pantyhose, etc. In fact, I wanted someone who was supportive.

A few months into dating my now wife, I told her all about my crossdressing. If she ran for the hills, so be it. I didn't want to waste time on someone who wasn't going to accept. If she did accept and was supportive, then fantastic, let's move on deeper into the relationship. She accepted, and not only that, a few days later she bought me pantyhose.

Had I not been upfront with her, had I not had the strength to insist on having a supportive spouse, I never would have found her.

If this woman will not accept you, why spend the rest of your life with her loving and supporting only part of you? Why not find someone who accepts all of you? She isn't the only woman in the world.

[Rachel05]

My wife knows, she found out!! told me she had known for years and never said anything, we chatted about it, she told me she hates the thought, I told her it is something that is part of me and I need and want to do it, we have not spoken about it since but she knows I am still dressing so maybe one day!!

[Debra Russell]

My wife has known since last Halloween as I had been planning to come out on that day. I had gotten dressed, called her at work - told her not to freak out and what to expect. She got home, laughed, cried, got miffed but we went out that night to a casino I had a ball, she was nervous. She didn't accept this very well but I was honest and told her everything and when I went out I took pictures and showed them to her also sent her phone pictures while I was out. She gradually became more accepting, knowing that I wasent up to anything, now we go shopping together. She has bought me lots of clothes and after 43yrs we are closer than ever

118528

We went to dinner last night-I wasent dressed as she hasent been out with me dressed since that first time; then we went shopping at Marshalls and she bought us matching tops. When we got home I got dressesd wig and all and she took this picture in front of the house
I guess what I am trying to say is that after a lot of discussions, explaning and after 43 yrs things are going well! It probably would have been a lot better a long time ago. I am very lucky to have a wife who before now was not tollerant of this sort of thing and thought it was all perveted. Go slowly explain all don't hide anything. Good Luck...: Debbie

[PaulaLee]

My GF knows , and accepts Paula , i told her a few years ago when she gave me a telling off one night for looking at girls in town, i finally confessed it wasn,t much the girls i was looking at, it was the outfits they were wearing, and how much i would love to wear such nice clothes. We go shopping now together and buy clothes, make up, the only rules we have is that we dont share clothes, and if she wants a weekend without Paula i go along with it. Im very glad i told her, never had any regrets.

XXXPaulaLee

[JoannaCaroline]

My wife has known since the day I met her and gets really annoyed about "not seeing her wife enough" if I spend too much time as a boi!

[Heisthebride]

I count myself one of the lucky ones. I initially told a GG friend of mine maybe 9 or so years ago and her reaction was very positive. She eventually moved away but it was nice to have come out to someone.

Since then I met my wife. We started dating about 3 1/2 years ago, within the first month I knew we had a good chance of staying together and having something special. I came out to her as well. She didn't jump up and down with joy but she said she thought she would be Ok with it.

Since then she has slowly gotten uses to the idea and in the last year has seen me dressed. Now she helps me pick out clothes and helps me with my hair when I dress. I try to not dress to often and she tries to be accepting when I do. It's a give and take thing.

On my birthday she bought me burlesque class lessons and I performed in the end of class recital en femme in a class of 14 other women. Everyone was very open and supportive.

My wife and I are also renewing our wedding vows in 69 days but this time I will be the bride. On a side note, the first person I told from the top of this post is going to be my bridesmaid.

I can't believe how lucky I am that I have encountered so many people who are fine with my dressing as a woman. I consider myself very lucky indeed.

[suchacutie]

I'm currently at a professional meeting for the week. I was complaining about the weight of my suitcase when my wife said, "well, that's what happens when you pack for two, even trying to pack light." She knows Tina is just a bit of high maintenance :)

tina!

[tricia_uktv]

Everybody knows, including my children. Why on earth shouldn't they?

[Sally24]

My wife knows and is very accepting. She does have stress off and on about where this will eventually go, but still supports me. We go shopping as two women at least once every few months. She has no problems seeing me or being seen with me, but we do usually drive over an hour from the house so as to avoid friends that don't know about Sally. Early on she helped me pick out all of my clothes and gave me hints on hair and makeup. She still gives me feedback but I know more about makeup than her now and have learned to coordinate my own outfits. I don't ask her approval of my clothing when I go out but I do show her my outfits just before I leave.

The times I spend with her and my adult daughter just doing girl shopping trips are some of the best times of my life! I told her what I knew about myself before we were even engaged and it was the best decission of my life! I wouldn't reccomend anyone get married without first discussing this with their girl. There are just so many sad stories of how it can go when you aren't honest with them. Better to lose them after only a few years together rather than after decades with them. I've been with my wife for over half my life now (32 years)!

[ShirleyO]

I have a rule to tell all my potential GGs up front. I have recieve a lot of rejections but all are greatful that I told them up front before things got sticky. Most all of them used as an excuse "well I can't compete with you" or how can I compete with you, (what the hell ever that means). I did find a GG that is more than OK with it and when I finally dressed for her she was blown away. Since then we go out dressed together all the time day or night and of course being intimate is fun to.

[Laura Evans]

My gf was told early in our relationship going on 5 yrs now, we are engaged to be married down the road. She has been very excepting from the beginning and has not set any boundaries.

[jberg]

i have a g/f of about 2 years and i told her about a year into the relationship that i would like to dress in font of her and us fool around...we did it once and she was ok with it. a year passed with out doing anything else with it and now were both getting into it. we went out and got some clothes, she has wigs and make-up and is becoming very accepting.

[lisajane]

Sorry to make you jealous Melissa but my girlfriend loves Lisa, she and I go everywhere.Joan sometimes forgets that under the clothes and makeup I am still a guy, but we are working on that:D

[free2bejamie]

Hi Melissa, It was very hard for me to finally tell my wife but it was something that I had to do if I was ever going to be completely happy. We have talked about it alot over the past few years and she has become accepting of Jamie. It didnt happen all at once and at times she still has some reservations but we pretty much have it worked out. Her biggest issue is what others think, and her embarressment when we are out and I am enfemme. It worked for me but not everyone is as accepting. Only you know your SO well enough for that decission. I just wish I would have done it sooner.

[linda-cdgrl]

Today, my wife bought me a sexy dress and a fluffy pink top at T.J.Max. She would have bought me some panties but none were frilly enough.

[Dannigirl]

Mine knows and fully supports anything I wish to do. However now that she knows (told her over a year ago - was no big deal at all for her - amazing lady = me very lucky !!) I am the one that has the hang up on the whole thing. I don't have to hide anything at all, can dress when I want, buy what I want, leave stuff lying around, put my stuff in the laundry, go shopping with her, you name it. But for some reason I still hide it most times as if I never told her. Not sure why because it doesn't bother her one little bit.

[Kayleigh-Marie]

I was lucky. I bravely told my Girlfriend about 1-2 week into our relationship. I thought it would be better then and for her to leave me then further down the line, but to my surprise she was absolutely fine with it, she said she liked the film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109045/). Since then, she has bought me shoes, given me fashion tips and has been very supportive. Though she isn't very keen on my shaving my legs :( so can't wear a skirt with pale tights very well with hairy legs. I don't wear shorts generally anyway and I don't go swimming much, so not really sure what the problem is, but I guess she has to have a boundery somewhere.

[Imogen_Mann]

My SO was Accepting and encouraging to start off with three years ago, but now she's moved in here and put down roots (claws ? Hooks ?) and thinks I'm secured and she's here for good 'putting up with it' seems to be her attitude.

Either way it makes life easier...

Oh to be single again !
Oh to be single again !
For when I was single... My pockets did jingle !
Oh to be single again !

:)

[Tasha McIntyre]

My wife knows I crossdress, and she created the list of rules (or boundaries if you like) as to my CDing activities. She plays the 'do what you gotta do, but I don't wanna know about it' game. That all suits me fine as I do get a fair bit of time to myself to hit the shops etc.

BUT

As to where she stands with it varies anywhere from borderline tolerance, to outright hostility depending on which way the wind is blowing. One day she'll ask if I went out today, all kinda calm but with a shake of the head. The next time it will be a snide cutting comment slipped in with a bit of malice.

I suppose that puts me with the group that has a wife that knows but disapproves.

[christinek]

My wife is totally OK with it. She was on edge 2 years ago but now is fine a very supportive. She bought me a FOUX diamond ring, Last year at the SCC I took my wedding band off as it was very male looking. Now I can wear my male ring plus this new addition and it looks like a wedding set, Very sweet!

[joanncd]

She knows, she tolerates, we shop together. Supportive and tolerant , but to a point. I don't push it.

[Rachael502]

Mine knows and is okay with complete dressing at home at any time......I get a frown here and there when wearing things out in public, but in those cases I make sure I don't wear whatever is concerning her.......Respect!!!

[melissacd33]

It's so great to read all these posts! Thanks for sharing everyone! You are awesome! :)

[longdog]

No... All my previous girl friends, seem to think the idea is disgusting when I bring up just the idea of it.

I seem to only ask out girls who think its wrong for a guy to want to wear anything females wear, dunno why....

Ironically, they all have no problem wanting to wear my boxers or no problem wearing mens t-shirts, but the slightest idea of me wanting to wear something a little girly makes them throw up in their mouths... :Angry3:

I honestly am ok with them wearing guy stuff if they want, but none of them seem to be as open minded as me. I always break off the relationship a month or two after that.

[RADER]

The wife knows, and tolrates it to the point that I stay in the closet.
I could never pass anyway so it workes out. She/WE have set a few guide lines, and it workes out. I underdress more than I use to, mostly from
this forum. Rader

[torontopantyhose]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a great girlfriend that I am totally honest with, and she is fully accepting and supportive.

I only dress at home (I'm non-pass), and even then, only when she knows I'm going to be femmed up. I never force it on her, and it seems to work out in our situation.

[JulieK1980]

My wife knows of my crossdressing, and has since about 3 weeks into our relationship. She is also 100% supportive. :)

[FireFoxAngel]

Girlfriend knows, she's been accepting. We don't do a ton together and she's very "put off" of acting together when I'm dressed, but that's a respectable boundary we've set so we go out as good friends rather.

[Nancie64]

I'm one of the lucky ones. My SO knows and does on occasion buy Nancie something nice. She also told her sister and she too thinks it is pretty cool. We are going to Vegas in Oct and they are already planning some outings. Planning on having a make over out there and trying to figure out when to sneak away and get it done and than surprise them and see what their reaction is. :heehee:

[Leslie Langford]

My wife knows I crossdress, and she created the list of rules (or boundaries if you like) as to my CDing activities. She plays the 'do what you gotta do, but I don't wanna know about it' game. That all suits me fine as I do get a fair bit of time to myself to hit the shops etc.

BUT

As to where she stands with it varies anywhere from borderline tolerance, to outright hostility depending on which way the wind is blowing. One day she'll ask if I went out today, all kinda calm but with a shake of the head. The next time it will be a snide cutting comment slipped in with a bit of malice.

I suppose that puts me with the group that has a wife that knows but disapproves.

Ah yes, the infamous "don't ask, don't tell" policy...

Don't you just love it when our SO's break their own rules in that regard and proceed to tear a strip off our hides over our crossdressing, thereby ensuring that we have just as bad a day as they are evidently having at that very moment...:eek::doh::sad:.

[ginafaye]

gina has grown up ovr the years ,with much suport and love from my wife with just one simple rule ,all is ok between us just keep it private

[Naru]

I'm very lucky to be with someone who is absolutely supportive. I'm pretty sure it turns her on too. She will get sad sometimes when I don't have a clean skirt to wear out.
I love her dearly and told her right away about it. She had almost laughed at me for thinking she would have a problem with it.

[Lauren B]

Telling my (future) wife two months into the relationship was one of the smartest things I've done. She's extremely supportive, and if it were up to her, I'd be full time right now (I want to be some day, but don't think I'm quite ready for that yet).

[mattie]

I too am one of the fortunate ones. I decided to tell my girlfriend a couple years before we got married. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever done - but she accepted me and we worked through it.

We've been married for over 5 years now, and because we both work from home I spend one or two days a week in 'girl mode' and it's just no big deal.

I don't necessarily think she's attracted to me when I'm in girl mode, but she still loves me and accepts me. She gives me advice on all kinds of things, and earlier this year we both went and got our ears pierced.

I'm in the "tell her" camp solidly. Personally this whole "being transgender" thing isn't just like some flaw or something that you're hiding from your girlfriend - but goes to the very core of your identity. I just got to a point where I was tired of 'faking' that I was 100% man - and it changed my life for the positive.

For anyone who is thinking of getting married I would definitely recommend they tell her. If they don't, and you go ahead with the marriage - just know that it only gets harder the older you get. The regrets just build and build, and the sense of "deception" that the other partner might feel is potentially worse. If you deal with it early, then you have lots of time to talk through and educate yourselves through the process. I don't think I could be happy being married to someone who doesn't understand the real me.

For people that are already married I realize it's a tricky thing. Sometimes it takes years to come to a realization of who we are inside, and sometimes that means it doesn't happen until we're married. There's lots of advice on this forum about the pros and cons of coming out to a life partner.

For now my wife accepts me. If I were to transition I don't know if she'd still want to be married to me, but we'll cross that bridge when/if we come to it. For now we know that we make each other happy, and we're committed to making it work. If it's not viable in the future, I think we will still love and respect each other.

[SusieB]

I tried to raise the subject with my wife many years ago and got such a bad reaction that I have been afraid to go there since. I get the impression from time to time that she might suspect. Recently T had a minor accident and was unable to drive. I was pressed into bringing her to the mall. We spent three hours shopping (for her of course). Afterwards she told me how helpful I had been and how wonderful I was to have put up with being dragged through all those shops. I replied that I enjoyed myself and would be happy to do it again, any time. The look I got killed that moment.

[TinaMc]

I was married to my wife 9-10 years before I told her. Luckily for me, she is a complete gem. After she got beyond all of the "are you gay? are you going to be completely female in a few years' time?" questions, she's been very cool about it. Even scheduling dates (at home) with me dressed up, she genuinely enjoys spending time with both "me"s.

TBH I kind of knew that she would be accepting but I just didn't realise the level to which she would accept it.

Only boundaries we have is that she has to be cool with me dressing (indicated by either an Empress or an Emperor tarot card we have on a magnet on our fridge) at that particular time. Venturing out of my house? Well I'm not brave enough to do that yet, maybe in the future, but we'll probably have to agree on more stuff then...

It's been pretty cool though, I wish I'd accepted this part of myself a hell of a lot earlier.

[banootcd]

my wife does not know ... but this sometimes make it fun when I CD in her clothes and I feel worry that she may catch me ...

[JulieC]

my wife does not know ... but this sometimes make it fun when I CD in her clothes and I feel worry that she may catch me ...

The more you dress in her clothes, the more likely she will discover. Also, the fact you are dressing in her clothes will almost certainly make her reaction considerably WORSE than if you were wearing clothes you had bought for yourself. If ever you want acceptance from her, stop wearing her clothes.

[flatlander_48]

Actually, my wife (girlfriend then) encouraged me to dress for the first time. We went out on Halloween several years ago. It was a fun and bizarre evening. I haven't gone out since (lack of opportunity), but I do wear thongs and pantie girdles most every day and tights in the winter. At home I will frequently wear bras and forms and often do errands underdressed as such on the weekends. However, as I've mentioned previously, you can hide a surprising amount of projection with bib overalls. Occasionally I will wear a dress at home, but not very often.

Anyway, not a problem (although the woman does like to feel me up when I'm dressed or underdressed...). Hmmm...

[TinaMc]

The more you dress in her clothes, the more likely she will discover. Also, the fact you are dressing in her clothes will almost certainly make her reaction considerably WORSE than if you were wearing clothes you had bought for yourself. If ever you want acceptance from her, stop wearing her clothes.

True. Also, it might feel fun at the time, but for me it's now something I'm quite embarrassed that I did, like the worse side of my CDing (i.e., the sneaky, creepy side). Feels a lot better for my psyche now that we have separate clothes and I'm not rooting around in her stuff...

[jennylogan]

My wife accepts this part of me but to be honest our marriage has been changed. Obviously I'm not the man she thought I was when we were married and it has caused her some pain in coming to terms with my transgenderism. It was and is difficult for her to accept but to her credit she has supported me through purchasing clothing for me, helping with makeup,and allowing me space in our closet for my female wardrobe. Still there is a noticeable lessening of physical intimacy and a kind of walking on eggshells aspect to our relationship. She worries about me going full time as a woman( a valid concern) and about what would happen to our lives with friends and family if I were to transition. I best describe it as a work in progress and a difficult but necessary part of my journey to fulfillment.

[Jonianne]

I am very blessed to have my wife, Angel, who accepts and supports my crossdressing. I told her years before we married (having learned from my first marriage!), and she went with me to triess meetings, took me on my first outing and set up times for my being dressed on our train trip to and at Niagara Falls during vacation.

That's not to say things have been perfect, but we have worked things out pretty well. I don't shave my legs both for her desire and because I don't really want to either. I only go out dressed during the cooler months when I can wear tights and long skirts.

I have also been blessed to not have to worry about people finding out. Due to my ex-wife's threats to tell everybody, I ended up telling everyone important in my life, at work and my family and I never lost a single friend or loved one. I think most people pretty much just say "Oh well, that's just Johnny(Joni)!

[Rachel Lea]

No, my Wife does not know. Based on her comments she will not like my dressing. But I have to tell her, I can not continue to deceive her any more. I recommend that if you are going to commit to this gf you had better tell her now, you will regret it if you don't and I fully believe that at some time you will have to tell her. Better now then later when you have more to lose.