As a crossdresser, what has been the most important lesson...

[Leslie Langford]

...that you have learned over the years?

For me, it has to be the power of truth and honesty, and how liberating it can be.

- Honesty with myself: finally admitting to myself what I am, no longer resisting my feminine side but embracing it instead, and finally being at peace with myself over my crossdressing urges.

- Honesty with my wife and my two adult children. They are the only ones among friends and family who now know of "Leslie's" existence. My wife is not thrilled about my crossdressing, but is slowly moving from reluctant tolerance to acceptance. While she doesn't yet want to meet "Leslie", we can at least talk about her and acknowledge her existence. My children, being of the younger generation, do not see it as such a big deal at all, and this revelation has not changed our relationship one iota.

- Honesty with SA's, make up artists, nail techs etc. No more lies about buying my femme clothes as presents for my wife, a Halloween costume etc. Telling a make up artist or nail tech up front that I am a crossdresser, what I am looking for, and determining if this is a service that they would be willing and/or able to provide to me. And 9 times out of 10, the answer has been an unequivocal "yes". People don't like being lied to, even if it is for their "protection". Sure, they may be taken aback for a couple of seconds when told that I am a crossdresser, but most already know that people such as ourselves exist, even if they haven't met one in person yet. So the shock has more to do with the unexpected nature of the initial revelation than its nature per se. And it is amazing how helpful and accommodating people can be when they are told the truth and see an opportunity to take another person under their wing - especially when entrusted with such sensitive information. I don't recall a single incident where such an open disclosure hasn't had a positive outcome - both for me in terms of superior service, and the other party in terms of being educated about us and having any negative perceptions about our community (thank you, Jerry Springer Show :thumbsdn::sad:) dispelled.

My only regret is that I didn't arrive at this epiphany sooner, as it could have saved me a huge amount of grief and self-loathing over the years. As the German-American saying goes " Ve get too soon oldt, und too late schmart..."

[Sarah Doepner]

Excellent post Leslie. I have yet to be totally honest with the world, although it has helped a lot at home. I still have a way to go on that one. So for me the most important thing I've learned has to be that I'm not alone in this TG world. There is a lot of power and comfort in knowing that I'm not a freak of nature, that I'm just one of many in a crowd that seems to be growing larger as the word gets out.

[5150 Girl]

As an X President once said,,, "We have nothing to fear, but fear it's self."
Also honesty is ususally the best policy.

[Freddy12]

For me it is that most people don't notice how you are presenting, and those few that do almost always do not comment. So, don't be afraid to go out dressed, to shop for clothes in the ladies section, and be yourself.

[Lexine]

I've only been really out these past few months, but I've learned quite a few things.


People aren't actively looking for people who are TG/CD
Makeup can do wonders to ANYONE
Watching TV shows that have predominantly women characters does NOT prepare you for the outside world...
...but observing other GGs in real life does.
Waist cinchers and corsets are your best friends when creating your figure...
...same thing with form flattering clothes and belts.
Obtaining my female voice wasn't as hard as I thought.


I'm sure there's a lot more, but I'm sure some of the girls here can add those in :)

[Kayleigh-Marie]

I learnt very quickly that women do not wear "hooker" shoes. Those seen in modelling photos and erotic movies. Admitidly I have two pairs, but the rest are more fashion/day to day shoes :)

[Jessica Who]

To always be myself no matter what, as long as I stay true to my own character, I will be happy and those around me will be happy.

[kimdl93]

I'd have to go with honesty. I wouldn't want to live a double life - dressing on the sly, hiding clothes, or constantly paranoia about being 'outed".

[tricia_uktv]

I thinkto succeed and to pull it off you need to be totally driven sio have comp-lete desire, build up an attitude and a ring of steel inside you that cannot be penetrated anbd be totally confident in your femme side, almost to the point of arrogance.

In summary:

Its not what you do its the way that you do it.

And I don't at all disagree that honesty is important.

[Stephanie Miller]

I've learned S.A.'s are very friendly people when Stephanie's out shopping - and also that my credit card has way to small a limit! :heehee:

[Kaz]

The obvious one is a better understanding of "me" and more generally, the human condition. This then leads to more tolerance and acceptance of who people are and whom they want to be and/or become.

The biggest impact has been in understanding women. I can quite truly look back on my life as a young thoughtless male, and feel embarrassed. I will never BE a woman, but I am, day by day, understanding more and more about a) what they can do and get away with ::daydreaming:, but also b) what they have to put up with and cope with :eek:.

[Sheren Kelly]

My lesson was that if you present yourself with confidence and dignity, there is very little others can do to ruin your day.

The flip side is when someone has an issue with the way you present yourself, they are only expressing their own insecurities.

[sterling12]

Biggest Lesson? That my Fears are almost always exaggerated in my own mind. The only Thing I really have to fear is my own preconceptions.

So far, just about everybody has had something thoughtful to say....I'm impressed!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Krysta]

....love thyself, and accept yourself for who you are. If you can do this, then anything else is easy.

[Rianna Humble]

I think my biggest lesson is probably the one in my sig, but next to that it is that I have to grant myself the right to be happy

[Frédérique]

As a crossdresser, what has been the most important lesson...that you have learned over the years?
For me, it has to be the power of truth and honesty, and how liberating it can be.

I’ve learned to keep crossdressing a secret, and hold on to it as tightly as I can. I’m responsible for my own happiness, after all. I already knew that this is a precious and beautiful thing to cherish, but being among other crossdressers (in this once-removed way) has reinforced the obvious. Truth and honesty have been there from the beginning – why else would I be so comfortable with myself? To be honest, I don't NEED to tell anyone...:)

[carrie-ann]

Honesty,confidence, dress appropriately,walk slow,take short steps, keep feet together,keep head sack and high,speak quietly,last but not least have a good since of humor. Just some of what I've learned so far.

[AKAMichelle]

That is my biggest regret too. I wish I had learned the lesson about honesty years ago.

[t-girlxsophie]

My Lesson learned has been to be honest and upfront when Starting a relationship,I have experienced both sides of the coin,and It is better to tell the truth about who you are.I wasn't open In my first Marriage and I was to regret It.I know I hurt my loved one's because of It
I promised myself I would never hurt anyone I entered into a relationship with again,and be truthful and honest from the very beginning,and I have done so,my Wife knows everything about me including my past.I never want to put anyone I love through that pain again.

:hugs:Sophie xx

[PretzelGirl]

Don't let your mind get wrapped up in a bunch of useless worrying. Life is about family, friends, and enjoying yourself. Make it happen!

[Oddlee]

I think the main thing "our condition" has taught me is tolerance. Although it took me a long time to come to accept myself, thinking about how messed up I was allowed me to accept others' foibles. Fortunately (in part through this forum), I no longer think I'm exceptionally messed up (just a little twisted, but for more reasons than the CD stuff). Thank you all,

Lee

[Patty B.]

I vote for the honesty and openness, should have done it years ago.

[eluuzion]

What have I learned, eh?

Well, let's see here...

Oh...

People never say "it's only a game" when they are winning.

It's good to be a "Daddy's girl", but bad to be a "Momma's boy"

all generalizations are false.

We are all exactly alike, except for being totally different.
For example...
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.

There is nothing easier done than said.

thaw and unthaw mean the same thing.

Most people are open to new ideas, as long as they are exactly like the old ones. They also respect your opinion, they just do not want to hear it.

I have also learned to never run with scissors and never, never ever...shake a baby.

People are never deceptive in only one area of their lives.

Your character is what you do when you think nobody is looking.

I have learned to become the person now, that I want my "friends" to "profile" later, should they ever become my enemies.

Nothing sticks to silicone but silicone.

I have also learned that it is foolish to "worry". It just makes you old. In a crisis...Wal-Mart will always think of something...

Always tell the truth, even if you have to make it up.

Life is not an eluuzion...Life is all perception.

:love:

[SusieB]

? To be honest, I don't NEED to tell anyone...:)

Frederique I NEED to tell one person. I broached the subject many years ago but the response was so negative I am afraid to go there again. I cannot take the risk of loosing the one person that really matters. So to answer the question - I have learned to keep my mouth shut and to be ultra careful.

[Emily_3]

I learned a life lesson,

Trust your intuition, read and listen to the situation, if something seems strange, ie: location, time of day, then it probably is,
in which case back up and walk away.

[Fab Karen]

You hold the key to the lock on your prison cell.

[Tomara]

For me the most important lesson I have learned was self acceptance , once I accepted my cross-dressing as a positive part of who I am I am much happier in my life and my relationship with my girlfriend.
My only regret would be not having the courage to explore the possibility of self acceptance in my younger years but that is something I can't change and I am happy that I found it when I did.
Tomara

[Jenny Doolittle]

Leslie

Thank you, I could not have said or described my own feelings any better then you just did your own. I too have finally come to terms with who I am, also have a wonderful wife, who is much the same as yours, understanding enough to realize that some of the best attributes of my personality come from my fem-side. I have two adult sons, who see their dad as a girly, but Love is still there.

I think the most important thing we can pass on to others is be brave enough and trust enough to reveal your true self to those you love.

Thanks Leslie