Can you believe this . I want your opinion.

[BreenaDion]

I have been seeing a Psychotherapist for a year now. A couple of months ago a freind of mine , she is a Registered Nurse. She said it sounds like I might have PTSD. Ok so I got a Licensed Clinial Psychologist to help me with PTSD, Anxiety disorder, Depression, suicidial thoughts ,Seasonal affective disorder, so it goes. Not for gender issues , she also does help me alittle there, if I ask her a question or few. I only see my GID therapist once a month, and been seeing this new Doctor for 6 weeks now.

So the question I brought to the doctor was like sorta this if I remember corectly. I was abused for at least 2 years by mother at the ages 4-6 yrs old . I seamed to have retreated inside my brain some where to exscape this horror at a young age. I didnt even have a conscience of what I was doing at the time. Yet I reamerged 50 years later as An Awaking. I asked her specfically how can your brain do that. She replied " Isn't it wonderful that we can do that".

I was expecting this long professional lecture or to that effect.

Please give your opinions in this case . Thank you

Bree

[Ze]

(Decided to edit out personal parts of story.)

But in a way, I understand why it's so "wonderful." If our brains couldn't do that, I wouldn't be here today. It's an extremely powerful coping mechanism; so powerful, in fact, that it has unfortunate negative consequences.

But yes, the ability for such powerful repression is wonderful in its own way. It's just unfortunate that it's ever necessary at all.

Edit: If your therapist has any proper PTSD/abuse experience at all, they likely said what they did for you to reflect on and figure what that means to you. i.e. "What happened to you was horrible, yet isn't is wonderful how your brain was able to protect you when nobody else would?" Kind of seeing a positive in yourself amidst the horrible negatives that happened in the outside world. In the end, you can always trust yourself to take care of you.

So I may have just given away the supposed answer. Whoops.

[BreenaDion]

Thank you Ze I will ponder that later. For now I'll add that I was abused because I was transgender. I was born a transsexual that we figure out, my G.I.D. specialist and I . My mother learned from her cold hearted mother to abuse kids to comform. That is the way it was done back in the 1920's

I won't get into the praises except one that my doctor has given me for I did brake many chains.
I would not bring up my children the way I was. I had counseling for many reasons unrelated to an awaking or PTSD in my early 20's . I did preform Congnitive behavioral treatment on myself when I was 12-13 yrs old. I was being abused by my stepfather at age ten an never stop untile I stood up to him decades later an challenged him.

I will say one thing My doctor is amazed at me for being able to even do Congnitive behavioral treatment in my own way of coarse at such an early age.

In ending I had a wonderful day tuesday aug 24th with my GID an Doctor. I got alot of answers an what I had to do is put the pieces together.

My mind is clearer about my past an the path I have chosen. I decided to come out is what my torn up soul was crying about.

Bree

[Ze]

My apologies, Bree. I guess I'm not completely grasping your situation. :)

[BreenaDion]

That is still a problem I have is I confuse people. I still use my male brain as its taking time for me to fully switch over to be completely female. In the brain of coarse. All part of my awaking, breena is taking controll but its a process. Also I "brian" am trying to give breena more controll an freedom as I am letting " GO" . Simple to me , all of this but guess the way I explain things is difficult for others. Thats why I enjoy chats for hours to release all of this to some one.

Bree.

[BreenaDion]

Sorry Ze for confusing you I was just venting cuz you just unplug me a bit. That doesnt even end there its miles long fill with alot of pain .

A look back at my writings last yr I could see the pain. Only just resently I have started putting " ME " back together the way I was supposed to be.

I can smile a little an even cry an not feal sorry for doing it.

I made a poem , 2 lines an my Therapist had to write it down . She says its significant. I( do my best wotk in dispairity.

Love to publish it its 6 lines now .

Bree.

[Ze]

I'm not quite sure what it means to unplug somebody, but my apologies for doing that. I hadn't meant to.

[charlotte_sp]

Hi Breena,

I'm very sorry to hear about what you've been through.
Your pain is very palpable from your writing.
I sincerely wish you the best!

I'm not sure if you've heard of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), but maybe you can ask your therapist about it.
It has been reliably and reproducibly shown to be very effective in treating PTSD.

Once again, hope everything goes well!

[BreenaDion]

Yes. My Phychotherapist refered me to another therapist who does this work only to have me fall through the crakes twice. After so many vists she couldnt see the PTSD an it took a electrologist who is a RN to see it. I gave that clinician ample time but also worked on finding a L.C.P and give her a valid opportunity an see if we cant resolve these matters.

Once 2 red flags go up on a person or professional I turn an go another direction.

I got some answers to my question on another website I belong to. Printed some info from DSM-IV andI am going to bring it to my doctors attention. I am so confused about reading this type of material.

I love you all Bree.

[Empress Lainie]

Breen did you check out the resourced from yahoo or google seach ptsd? It may give you some more helpful information if you haven't already checked it out.

[Danni Bear]

Bree,
This is a journey that takes a long time. A considerable amount of help and someone you can talk or vent to. I'm in the middle of going down that same path. If ever you need to talk or vent just PM me and go ahead.

Good luck and good fortune always

Danni

[7sisters]

I am not qualified to give you answers. But i can point out books that you will find amazing.

http://www.amazon.com/Sybil-extraordinary-possessed-separate-personalities/dp/0446359408
Please also read 'Many lives. Many masters'. By Dr Brian Weiss. There is an ebook too. Please please read it. It is a case just like yours. Google for this book.
I urge you to carefully read these articles also.
http://faculty.washington.edu/eloftus/Articles/lof93.htm
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,979691,00.html
All the best for your quest.

[BreenaDion]

Thank you 7sisters for your time but I donthave a multipersonality disorder. The other articles dont pertain to me. Thank you , i will look up the book

Thank you Danni bear for your support

All my Love Bree.

[7sisters]

BreenaDion, by recommending you read Sibyl, I was not implying you have multiple personality disorder. It's a fascinating book on the human mind and my psychology profesor recommended it to us when we were first years students. I thought I'd share it with you and whoever reads this, that is interested in the working of the human mind. All my best to you.