Partnership query

[Tania D]

My SO's level of acceptance has grown greatly over the last 12 months and for a few weeks now we have been talking about where I saw my self ending up.She asked if I wanted to be a woman and I said that from time to time the thought does come into my head but it is not something I would pursue at the moment as we have 3 young children and I also have some health issues. What we have agreed is that in normal public outings and in front of the children I will continue as a male but when we are alone or when the kids are in bed I am a female and this is how she has said she will treat me, she has also said that when they kids get older we will look at making the female persona the only one.As a mark of how serious she is about this she has suggested a purge of my female wardrobe so I can settle on a style of look I wish to maintain her words were if we are doing this then we will give it 100% and do it properly.
My query is, are any of you in a similar situaution and has it worked? as I have said in previous posts she is a wonderful woman and if I can only be half the woman she is I will be doing well.

Tania
XXX

[sandra-leigh]

As my gender therapist pointed out to me, adult women have had decades to develop their sense of style and their sense of what they are comfortable with in which situation. It is quite unlikely that you have developed your female side to the same level. As such, a purge and single re-buy will not work: you need a lot of time (years) to experiment. You will make a whole bunch of mistakes along the way. You will buy things and regret buying them when you get them home or the first time you wear them. You will also buy things, regret them, put them away, dig them out a year or two later and suddenly they are right.

There is no harm in getting rid of the items that do not fit any more, or which are worn out, or which you are now certain just aren't "you" (e.g., the gold lame' micro-skirt), but chances are that getting rid of everything is not a good thing to do.

[linnea]

My only similar experience related to what you have asked is that my wife has progressively, though very slowly, come to a greater level of understanding and acceptance of my crossdressing. She is quite a ways from acceptance of my being transgendered, but she has recently bought panties for me (we were together and she picked some out that she thought I would like--I was standing with her as we did this--and we checked sizes and talked about my wearing them, etc.). We talked some more about this and have reached a better mutual feeling about my crossdressing. I think that things will continue to develop. Whether she will ever acknowledge, understand, or accept that I am TG remains to be seen. If she can travel that far with me, I think that she won't ask me to do a purge, but she might help me re-shape my wardrobe gradually rather than in a 100% turn-around (partly because of the expense and partly because she thinks that I have made some good choices already).

[Ria]

My wife also has grown more accepting of my "hobby" over the last year- bigtime! It's wonderful because I don't feel like I have to hide my eBay purchases when they get delivered! (as much=). Her and I even went to a fetish night club where we both dressed up. We both looked awesome and had a great time. She even purchased me better makeup brushes. She was excited to give them to me!

It really is awesome! I must keep one thing in mind though. My wife married me- a man and now a father to our young kids. I'm happy with my level of "girliness" but it should be kept in check. Not to do so would be selfish and probably destructive. Another way to look at it is- I wouldn't want her to regret being accepting because it allowed me the latitude to go further down the rabbit hole to the point that she questions who I am.

I would hate for her to think "he's gone too far with this".

In response to your post, be carefull. Don't make her regret her decision to accept you by you taking it further and pushing the limits. Enjoy your acceptance but respect the awesomeness of your situation. Don't take away the man she married.

[AKAMichelle]

Never happened to me but this sounds like something that I would try.

[aunifex]

I haven't yet found my mr/miss right yet, but when I meet my future CD, I will always be willing to help in the wardrobe dept... I like an excuse to go shopping, I have to confess I like thrift-store shopping the best. I think it would be fun to have a cross-dressing BF. I can't wait.

[Chari]

It is great that you are communicating with your understanding wife regarding your feminine side. Do not be loured into believing "purging your entire femme wardrobe" will make for a better situation. Most here that have purged and continue to regret that action. There will be moments that you will have a very strong urge to dress and will want to be as much as Tania as you can be, but without any feminine attire or makeup, you will become very frustrated not being able to express those emotions! As others have posted, consider a compromise with your wife's request by getting rid of some of Tania's items, but NOT ALL! IMO, it will be too expensive and time consuming to find & build a new wardrobe.

[MiamiMarie]

It's good that you guys are coming up with a plan together, but I wonder if purging is necessary. I could see editing/perfecting yoru existing wardrobe and then growing it, but tossing it out completely? Think carefully about it first.

[ReineD]

she has suggested a purge of my female wardrobe so I can settle on a style of look I wish to maintain

Chari & MiamiMarie, Tania is talking about replacing her existing wardrobe, not purging entirely. :)

[Sara74]

I agree with the others and advise to not go too far ahead of yourself. Be a pack rat and never throw anything out. I have had probably two whole closets full of clothes in the many years I have been CDing and now only have a few outfits to my name. Keep what you have and build on it like Marie mentioned above. If there is one thing I have learned over the years, it's that most GG's never throw away clothes, so why should we? LOL I regret having to part with all that I had, but it was neccessary at the time. Give it time and your true sense of style will come forth and fit you beautifully ;)

@ Aunifex~ Glad to see yet another GG here with us! If only there were more down in this neck of the woods! :)