I Can't Do It

[linda allen]

I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.

I need help! :sad:

[AllieSF]

One way to over come your fears is to keep repeating the steps until you feel confident enough to complete the whole process, look, touch, purchase and leave. The more you walk through and stop to at least look at what they have and familiarize yourself where everything that you want is, the more relaxed you will be. One day you will actually stop to smell and touch the roses. I bet the next time after that you will pick a rose and buy it. Good luck.

[Teresa Ann]

Linda,
Just do it. Those people don't care what any body buys they are there just to finish their shift and when it is busy they don't even look up to see who they are waiting on. How many times do I or my wife goes thru the line while the other one goes a head so no one knows if it is for me or my wife and no one cares. So Linda look around and study people for a little while and you will see that no body cares... and just do it.

[suchacutie]

First of all, women buy all sorts of things for men. Second, you may just be checking out for your wife. They can't possibly know.

Personally, I've been waiting for a checkout person to give me any kind of hard time so I can belittle them!! So far I've been frustrated in that everyone has not given me any kind of hard time!

On the other extreme, female SAs have been so impressed that I would 1) shop for my wife or 2) actually shop for me (in the case of makeup, especially)! They want our money!!!

:)

tina

[Lexine]

Back in April when I wasn't passable I just walked into Target, bought my body shaper and bra, went to the cashier, paid for it, and left.

It's not really a big deal. The likelihood of them asking is pretty nil and, if they do ask, just say that you're trying out for some crazy reality show and you have to "WOW" them at the auditions :)

[Ruth]

Linda, take a close look at what you are actually afraid of. If you are in the closet and you don't want friends/family to know you CD, go to another town and shop there. The shop assistants really really don't care what you are buying if your money is good. Trust us - we've done it and it works.
I shop for Ruth's clothes both in drab and as Ruth, and there's really no difference except if I want to try something on (I'd rather be en femme to do that, though I know some of our members are happy to do it in drab).

[linda allen]

Linda, take a close look at what you are actually afraid of. If you are in the closet and you don't want friends/family to know you CD, go to another town and shop there. The shop assistants really really don't care what you are buying if your money is good. Trust us - we've done it and it works.
I shop for Ruth's clothes both in drab and as Ruth, and there's really no difference except if I want to try something on (I'd rather be en femme to do that, though I know some of our members are happy to do it in drab).

I'm afraid I would pass out right there in the store. Even in another town.

I wish there was a CD store not too far away (but not too close either) but I haven't been able to locate one. I think I could handle that.

[dorylinn]

If you are in the closet and you don't want friends/family to know you CD, go to another town and shop there.

The shop assistants really really don't care what you are buying if your money is good.

This is good advice. I wish I could follow it. :o

Finding a store with the "self ckeck-out" helps a lot. :battingeyelashes:

[MWCMDarlene]

Linda, I know how you feel. I posted this story a few months back, but I had stopped at a Wal-Mart while passing through a neighboring town and picked up a bra. All of the self-checkout lines were filled with 3 or more people, so I went to the express lane. I put my bra on the conveyor and the clerk picked it up, scanned it, looked at me, and while putting it in the bag said, "I'm not even going to say anything." I was outed right there and I knew it, but I used the, "it's for the wife and I think this is the size she said to get" excuse.

Get that said to you, and yeah, it will set you back. I would like to get another bra, but I keep thinking about what she said and just can't get the nerve to do it yet. But the time and opportunity will someday come again.

[pernille d]

again like said so so many times before . check out people dont care and dont think like we do to them its just like another tin of beans going over he checkout

yes i have been there but there is no need to be frightened be bold and confident and it will go well , just be confident and if you see anybody while brouseing just smile,that helps a long way .

this weekend how could i hide ( and why anyway) the fact my size 47 eu (12us) heels where not mine when i they needed re-heeling in a heel bar . Best way is dont . i was just honest from the start " can you fix my shoes" bang !!! all answered in one sentence no funny thoughts from there side , and by saying that at the start it lead to a nice conversation. not one where you know the person is thinking something and saying another thing .i

be bold hang in ther and it will come and you will end up cracking it :)

[mishmam32]

Ok, I've been reading all the feedback and I've decided that I'm going to Wal Mart... I need to get some items anyhow, but just for Linda I'm gonna buy something femme and tell you how it goes later. If all goes well then hopefully it helps you, if not I'll pretend it did, or have a great story to tell. I'll even post the pic of what I bought. I started a thread earlier about how terryfied I am of the big stores. This will be therapy.

ok girls here goes...ttyl

[Jay Cee]

...I wish there was a CD store not too far away (but not too close either) but I haven't been able to locate one. I think I could handle that.

But then wouldn't you be worried that someone would find out you were shopping at a CD'ing store? See the dilemma? ;)

Anyways, I've gone shopping for Jessie's clothes while in drab, albeit with my gf. At first, the gf was very near at all times, but she started wandering off more and more, leaving me to my own devices.

So, I turned it into a mission. I've come up with a reasonable excuse (buying clothes for my sister / niece / daughter, depending upon who might ever ask me), and I make it look like that is what I am doing. I'll hang a skirt on a rack, and hold a top against it, as if it is a scientific experiment. I study it, making it like I am wondering how it will look like on whoever it is I am allegedly buying it for.

Bras are a little more nerve wracking, but apply the same principles. Boldly approach, have a cover story ready, and make it look like you are doing nothing wrong. You aren't - you have as much right to buy any article of clothing as the next person does. Have some other things in your cart to bury the bra under, if that helps. Also, make good and sure that the price tags are attached, so that you don't have them doing a price check on a bra for you.

Good luck, Linda. It can only get easier for you.

[Miss Misery]

...picked up a bra.....the clerk picked it up,.... and said, "I'm not even going to say anything." ..........I used the, "it's for the wife and I think this is the size she said to get" excuse

I'm really brave when I'm at the computer but once I'm in the store the whole feeling changes UNTIL I've had enough himming and hawwing around (maybe a couple of trips to the store etc. Then I just say what the heck and do it - usually no problems.

I just wish I could think up the quick responses for stupid comments made by clerks. For example - the one you mentioned above:

"I'm not even going to say anything."

Responses -
"Then neither will I".
Or "Thanks."
Or "I'll gladly go someplace else."

But I would more likely say what you did - someday I'll be brave.

[AKAMichelle]

Cashiers don't really care what or why you are buying something. But if it still bothers you then order online.

[Kelly Blaine]

I agree with the general post since I did my first shopping for women's jeans at Walmart on Saturday. I had my thong on under my shorts so I could really get the feel of tight jeans. I picked some out and went to the dressing room. Male and female are just across from each other. I tried on the jeans and then looked down and my toenails were red. I had forgot and really started laughing since there is a big space under the door and people all around. Be brave.

[Leslie Langford]

I'm afraid I would pass out right there in the store. Even in another town.

I wish there was a CD store not too far away (but not too close either) but I haven't been able to locate one. I think I could handle that.

Linda,

Only you can give yourself "permission" to be a crossdresser and that it is O.K. for you to buy female clothing for yourself anytime you want. No one else can do that for you. Nor should they have to.

I don't recall anyone giving "permission" to the GG's to shop for jeans, shirts, runners, and the like in the Men's section of department stores etc. - they "just do it " as the Nike slogan says. They also never asked anyone's "permission" when they abandoned pantyhose in droves, began wearing pants, started smoking, and began moving into traditional men's' jobs i.e. firefighters, police work, construction, mechanics, pilots, the military etc.

Keep reading the posts on this forum and you will see tons of examples from other crossdressers who have taken that particular plunge as well as mustering up the courage to go out in public en femme and have lived to tell the tale. In other words, start thinking like that little steam engine from the children's story that said "I can, I can, I can..." when it faced its first steep hill.

And while you're at it, think of a smart and witty line that you can use on anyone who tries to embarrass you in this fashion with their inappropriate comments. The primary intent of this strategy would be to turn these comments around for use against those ill-mannered jerks and thereby put them in the same awkward situation that they tried to put you in. Their smugness will leave them totally unprepared for being blindsided in this way, and they will undoubtedly think twice before pulling that same stunt on someone else the in future.

Just sayin'...:doh::eek::D

[Nicole Summers]

I like to shop at kohl's because I can look through the online catalogue, so when I get to the store I already know what I want.

[kimdl93]

Its not a contest. If you are uncomfortable shopping in person - shop on line. Its OK...you're not being graded! Do what you feel comfortable with. If your attitude about shopping in person changes later, that's fine too. SAs want to help, cashiers could care less as long as they get paid.

[Michelle James]

First let me tell you something about Walmart. For CD research I sat in a booth at the subway (inside Walmart) and watched the people come and go. i came a way with the belief that you could put any member of ZZ Top in a dress and he could pass. The dregs of society pass through there every day and no one cares! That being said I have shopped there both in drab and femme. No one cares! The $8 an hour cashiers couldn't care less what you buy or what you look like. I got my "girl glasses" from Walmart optical. Nothing was said. I loaded up my cart last trib (in drab) with 2 bras, 3 tops, one of those silcone strapless bras (great for cleavage creation), about $100 worth of makeup, a real cute denim purse, a wallet, 2 watches, and a 5 blade Diva razor with skintastic shave cream. It was obvious it was all for me. No one cared.

So just get out there and do it hun. Trust me it gets easier every time. In a couple of weeks you'll wonder what all the nerves are about. Besides who cares what they think anyway.

Remember it takes real balls to be a lady.

[ladyinblack]

I know how you feel I also have had those same feelings.But one day just went in and did what I came to do browesed the panties and braw even thow I didnt find a braw I did find many cute pairs of pantie that I bought. The sales associate asked me how my day was and that was it

[Amanda22]

I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.

I need help! :sad:

Linda,

Funny, this morning I was at Target for the express purpose of buying hosiery. I psyched myself up, suppressed the sickness in my stomach, and marched to that section of the store. And right past that section of the store, to the sandwich bags, paper towels, etc. I felt like the biggest failure. In my head, I know that the store clerks don't care, but this seems impossible.

[mishmam32]

Ok, so I went to Wal-Mart, and I hovered for about 10 minutes around the womans section, looking at pretty much everything. I think I had the courage, but I really didn't see anything I REALLY wanted, but everyones right, no one cared, except this lady that was restocking, she followed me everywhere, almost asked if I needed help but I scurried off before she got a chance. I did however go to a local smut shop and buy some cute panties, some spanky shorts and some hosiery, so it wasn't all a loss. Good luck Linda, sorry I couldn't be a better example :-)

[Kelly Blaine]

I understand everybodies nervousness and am starting to break out of it. I walk into a store and say, I wish I could try all these pretty thngs on but then walk right past them. I think this last weekend I made a big step forward by going to Walmart and buying jeans. I wish there was a GG store that would open just for CD's and Transgenders off hours. Gosh, they would rake in the money.

[Fab Karen]

The more you walk through and stop to at least look at what they have and familiarize yourself where everything that you want is, the more relaxed you will be. One day you will actually stop to smell and touch the roses. I bet the next time after that you will pick a rose and buy it. Good luck.
Yeah, but if you smell the lingerie, you'd probably be taken for a pervert:heehee:

At first when you're getting used to it, pick out what you want, and in your mind you can just think "people will assume I'm buying it for my wife/girlfriend" and remember, most people aren't paying attention anyway.

[spideyap]

Walmart is the best for discreet situations! Most of the people in there are just trying to get in and get out or keep up with their kids. I am able to browse around no problem, and then check out at the self check out. Just go for it!

[Alice Torn]

If a cashier gives you a smart remark, say what Billy Cunningham, the Sunday night radio talk show guy says! It's a great night, to be an American!

[Ashley_Marie]

I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.

I need help! :sad:

I have had the same problem that you have had, Linda. I just grin and bear it. As a couple others said, most SA won't say anything, what their thinking who knows, but they won't say anything. That doesn't mean of course that I'm not still nervous when I walk up to the checkout line, I am. I just grin and bear it.


This is good advice. I wish I could follow it. :o

Finding a store with the "self ckeck-out" helps a lot. :battingeyelashes:

Self-Checkout seems to be a thing of the past. Only store that had it here was Wal-Mart. When they remodeled our local store, they removed the self-checkout. So no local store has self-checkout anymore, at least not around here.

[Pattie O]

My suggestion would be to find a "special lingerie store" ie a CD friendly store and then you can feel comfortable choosing,selecting and even trying before you buy ...even have a proper fitting can do wonders for your confidence and then you may find it easier to shop at other stores with some more knowledge of size and comfort etc..all part of the great shopping experiences you can have as a TV/CD/TG /TS.How far you are comfortable to go should be your choice ,not others as long as you put one heel in front of the other and head held high!

[HairyBethCD]

Responses -
"Then neither will I".
Or "Thanks."
Or "I'll gladly go someplace else."


I'd probably be doubly evil and say 'It's not for me, it's for my boyfriend'. That ought to throw them totally ;-)

[Freddy12]

I completely understand those feelings of being questioned about why you are looking at bras.
First, find a Wal-Mart with a self-checkout. They are more often in the larger stores. That solves the cashier issue.
Next, go early in the morning to shop. There will be fewer people in the store.
Next, when you get to the section with bras, find out that you need to tie your shoe. Don't laugh, it works! If no ne is close by, start looking.
Don't feel that yo need to select something the first time you look.

Good luck!

[PortiaHoney]

Ah, the good old days. Gosh, I remember when buying what I really wanted was a time of dread and guilt.

So, what advice to give to you young un's? (dressing wise, not necessarily age wise).

Fear is exactly what it is. Something we build up inside ourselves. People may make us feel fearful - but what is it we are really afraid of? Is it the people themselves we are afraid of? Take a look at the sweet girl behind the counter who is going to take your money. What is it about her that is so scary? She might make a mention (as has happened to a couple of brave venturers) that she thinks she knows what you want the bra/knickers/stockings for. So what? Are you going to be sitting down with her at dinner sometime and she will make a big commotion about your purchases? Why is it that we care so much about what strangers think? I love the comment about it being for your boyfriend LOL.

So, suck it up princess if you want to make the purchases you want. A few moments of discomfort with a stranger and you will walk out of there with something that will make you feel proud you have been so brave to purchase. Yes, I do still remember the first bra I bought and the feeling of elation at my bravery and gaul.

And after you do this a couple of dozen times, you too will be wondering what all the fuss was about.

Most of all, have fun.:love:

[Ms Jennifer]

I remember buying at first and being so nervous and pretending I was buying for a gg,But now when they say something like "Oh, you are getting your girlfriend something" I love to smile and say "No, this is for me" It also makes it easier when a SA is trying to help since they can see what size you are. It makes it a little more fun since I only shop in drab.Trust me it will get easier the more you do it.Just make sure you have price tags on the items since you don't want to get to the register and someone says "Price check on Panties.' Ha, Have fun shopping.

[Brenda79135]

The best way I have found in Walmart or Target is to go get a birthday card before going to the women's department. With that in hand, it almost like a permission slip to be there. SAs are very helpful if you get confused. You can buy just about anything.

[erickka]

Is probably one of the BEST places to shop. The cashiers and many of the other employees are paid at or near minimum wage, and their only concern is when the next break or quitting time is, much less scrutinize someone's purchases. Once you get the nerve to do it, you'll be shopping like a professional GG in no time! Good luck. Erickka

[linda allen]

........Self-Checkout seems to be a thing of the past. Only store that had it here was Wal-Mart. When they remodeled our local store, they removed the self-checkout. So no local store has self-checkout anymore, at least not around here.

It's big around here. The ones at Walmart aren't open all the time but when they are, there's still one person monitoring them.

[patricia 402]

been there done that, boy do I know the feeling but it gets easier with time and also how does the person at the check out stand know that its for you so I would just do it and give it a whirl!:battingeyelashes:

[linda allen]

Girls,

I appreciate all the help. I would shop on-line but my wife would be home when the package arrives. I'm going to try to get up the nerve this week while she's out of town to just go in the store and buy what I want. Cash, no credit card statement.

Anyone have a link for CD friendly stores?

[Nancie64]

A few weeks back I went to Wal Mart, which I seldom do, and happened through the shoe department and low and behold is a nice pair of loafers in a size 11, just what I need. I grabed them and then off to check out the hoisery dept and picked up a pair of pantyhose. Don't usual do this but the shoes were to nice to pass up. When I got up front, I picked an elderly checkout lady and put them on the counter, she scanned them and bagged them, and as she handed me my change, she looked at me and said "I hope they fit", I replied " Yea, me too". A little smile and I was off. They don't care, it's a job. Happy shopping.

[Leslie Langford]

I completely understand those feelings of being questioned about why you are looking at bras.
First, find a Wal-Mart with a self-checkout. They are more often in the larger stores. That solves the cashier issue.
Next, go early in the morning to shop. There will be fewer people in the store.
Next, when you get to the section with bras, find out that you need to tie your shoe. Don't laugh, it works! If no ne is close by, start looking.
Don't feel that yo need to select something the first time you look.

Good luck!

Not so sure about the early morning part, unless you go really early. Mornings are typically when the stay-at-home moms take their young children out with them on their errands, as the afternoons are usually dedicated to nap time. When shopping mid-morning, it is usually all one can do to avoid being run over by SUV-sized strollers.

Personally, I find the "golden" time for my femme shopping to be between right after lunchtime and the late afternoon when the schools let out. Ditto for between about 5:00 P.M. and 7:00 P.M. when most folks are at home having supper.

[Jessie0276]

I was the same way, but after I did purchase something at a store it was really no big deal. I made it out to be more then what it was, now i do it all the time! If you still cant do it then order online.:)

[Ruth]

The OP doesn't want to shop online because the packages will be delivered and the wife will wonder. See how one problem leads to another.
Those who are in the closet won't love me for saying this, but life is a lot easier if you open up to your nearest and dearest.

[tricia_uktv]

Linda,

Funny, this morning I was at Target for the express purpose of buying hosiery. I psyched myself up, suppressed the sickness in my stomach, and marched to that section of the store. And right past that section of the store, to the sandwich bags, paper towels, etc. I felt like the biggest failure. In my head, I know that the store clerks don't care, but this seems impossible.

Amanda and Linda. I promise it absolutely isn't impossible - in fact it is almost the opposite; real fun. I had days like you when I first started but kept trying, day after day, until I managed to buy what I wanted.

I remember walking to work past a boutique with a dress I really wanted in the mirror. I was dressing occasionally in the gay village at the time so it mattered to me. All week I longed for the dress but couldn't pluck up the courage.

Eventually on the Friday I had to do it. The sales girl was brilliant and even let me try it on in changing room.

But by thewn I had worked out that the only way to do this was to be totally honest. As soon as you say the dress is for me things open up.

I promise.

Keep trying hons,

Hugs

[Petra.Briar]

When I first started going into department stores, I started with the women's night gowns and PJ's. Start going around either X-Mas or Valentine's Day (..if you can wait that long) They are always right next to the rest of the lingerie department and there are plenty of men at that time of year around that section. You can browse and build up some confidence....you will eventually have a lot of fun doing what girls like to do!!

[Christy_M]

Linda, take a close look at what you are actually afraid of. If you are in the closet and you don't want friends/family to know you CD, go to another town and shop there. The shop assistants really really don't care what you are buying if your money is good. Trust us - we've done it and it works.
I shop for Ruth's clothes both in drab and as Ruth, and there's really no difference except if I want to try something on (I'd rather be en femme to do that, though I know some of our members are happy to do it in drab).

I have to second this. The more I shop the more I realize most people could really care less what you are doing. I did the same thing by the pantyhose rack when I was much younger and left empty handed. It does get easier the more you do it. To get over the hump, work out a plausible story like buying for a so or gf as a surprise.

I have been played with at the register about my purchases like super high heels and lately I play back but typically I laugh it off and ask if their return policy covers my wife not liking the style.

[Susan4]

and I know that many others do too. If not now .. then at some point in our CDing lives we've all had to overcome the same problem.

These days you have the option of buying on-line ... and those who have suggested it are giving you good advice. It's a simple and safe alternative.

Others have said 'just do it'. They're right to. And, like riding a bike, it's easier to just hop on and ride then intellectually reasoning that the gyroscopic effect will keep you upright when you start moving. It makes sense, but it doesn't really help You just have to do it.

And that's why I know how you feel. As Susan, I've bought bras easily enough. I've had fitting (O, joy) ... in fact, I love shopping.

But ... en drab ... my heart beats faster when I walk by the woman's clothing department. What will people think? I can't do this? What will I do if the SA makes a wisecrack? What will I do if I bump into a client or someone who knows me?

So, I understand.

The real problem however, is in ourselves.

Go to another town ... master your heart ... and do it. Everyone on the board is right.

1 - Go to another town ... or to a part of town you and your family don't normally frequent.

2 - Remember, SAs don't really care. In fact, I have found several that look forward to seeing me en drab and help me shop. They have arranged for frequent shopper cards and don't bat an eye. When I find one of these, I try to shop during her shift.

3 - If you do find a cashier who makes a snide comment. Treat them like you would treat a schoolyard bully. Don't shrink away .. do the opposite. Say something like, 'Excuse me, what did you say? Are you making a side comment? Get your supervisor over here". They won't do it again.

Linda ... good luck and be well.

Hugs
Susan

[Madeleine StClair]

First, find a Wal-Mart with a self-checkout. They are more often in the larger stores.

Hm? I'm not sure that's quite right. When I was starting out I visited most of the Wal-Marts in metro Denver, because even with self-checkouts I didn't want to buy girl clothes too many times in the same place. What I found was that the SuperCenters (with a full grocery department) don't have self-checkouts, but the non-super stores do.

However, maybe it's just coincidence, but the last several times I've been to Wal-Mart, the cashier watching the self-checkouts has always volunteered to ring me up in person. Fortunately for me I stopped caring some time ago.


Not so sure about the early morning part, unless you go really early. Mornings are typically when the stay-at-home moms take their young children out with them on their errands, as the afternoons are usually dedicated to nap time. When shopping mid-morning, it is usually all one can do to avoid being run over by SUV-sized strollers.

Personally, I find the "golden" time for my femme shopping to be between right after lunchtime and the late afternoon when the schools let out. Ditto for between about 5:00 P.M. and 7:00 P.M. when most folks are at home having supper.

Certain holidays are good too, if you happen to be free. My first time was about 10 AM on Easter Sunday. Hardly anybody was in the store.


I wish there was a GG store that would open just for CD's and Transgenders off hours. Gosh, they would rake in the money.

Hey, that could happen! For example, there is a local Maurice's store (www.maurices.com) that had a shopping party for some local girls recently (I guess it was a Sunday evening). I've heard everybody had a great time. You would probably have to take the initiative, and you'd want to organize a good solid group of friends with enough money to make it worthwhile. But as everyone says, whatever they may privately think about you, they want your money. So give it a shot if you dare!

[Celeste]

I also had the same feelings,especially when being the only guy in the womens department,so I tackled it by doing things that calmed me down.Things like going the first thing in the morning,the store is usually empty then.Throwing a few guy items in my cart as well,just made me feel better about it.Take my time,keep my heart rate down and breath deep,try to keep telling myself,it isn't anyone else's business and all my fears are simply my own imagination running away with itself.

[Marcia Sue]

Just suck up those big girl panties and do it. Nobody cares who buys what

[VS Fan]

Personally, I "built up" the courage to buy certain things at Walmart/Target etc by buying less obvious stuff... start off by buying a night shirt or pajamas or a sweater or something that everyone would naturally assume was a gift. I built up my confidence a little this way... now of course I don't care, I walk in, get what I want and pay & leave. I do still occasionally attempt to avoid certain cashiers that have the "look" of being intolerant, but honestly that is a crap shoot as I'm sure many will agree and I've NEVER been given a comment that made me feel awkward anyway. Now, if you go into a VS store or similar... LOL you might as well just grab what you came for :)

VS Fan

[docrobbysherry]

The RETURNS were MUCH WORSE than the purchases for me!:doh:
And I had many, until I found out which I sizes I was!:o

Now, I buy ALL my girdles, bras, and privates via mail order! I find it WAY more convenient, cheaper, and return things without a second thot now!:D

[sharonstoy]

I'm a truck driver and pass thru a town that has a 24hr. wal mart.I went in on monday morning at 2AM and bought my first bra,slip cami,and a collection of panties and a dress.I was'nt dressed fem at all.I thought it was kind of exciting because it took forever to find a 44B,and I found one with lace and it actually fit.Dare yourself and do it.

[JessiRed]

It's really only a big deal to you. That concept seems very foreign when you're just starting to get out there, but it's true!

I tried on a bunch of swimsuits at walmart recently and I had no issues, they even let me use the Ladies fitting room. Funniest part was that during my trying on time there was a shift change and I handed about 7 swimsuits to a new girl who didn't know I was in there. She took them from me, got a strange look on her face, and then smiled at me. Why? Because I handed them to her with confidence and a smile.

I've tried on things at most major retail stores, with no issues.

[Loni]

the funnest part of threads like these is we all go out of our way to go shopping in a town not our own...and how many of us go shopping in our town??

i might have trouble at times like shoes, and rings and things. but bras. i do not buy at walmart. but i love a line sold at macys very comfy...but pricey.
not to worry you will get over the problems of buying things. if you could picture me digging through the nice setting of panties in the isle at sears or macys just trying to find the right size for me.(like a little kid in a candy shop) ..(me 5-10 200+. very broad shoulders). and i shop in drab...one day loni will get to go shopping for her self.
when the time is right you will know it and it will be a good day.

Loni

.

[VikkiVixen7188]

The first time I bought fishnets I had my girlfriend send me a text message that made it look like I was getting them for her. I showed that to the clerk :)

Try that.

[so_mari]

I agree with what many others have said. I think that most people will not notice or care what you are buying. If the cashier or anyone else does see you buying a bra while present as male, I think the assumption would be that you're buying it for your wife or SO. Nonetheless, you might need more time to really feel comfortable shopping in public. Perhaps do it in small steps, like walking through the lingerie section, browsing quickly, taking your time looking at things, etc until you work your way up to buying. In the interim, you can always shop online.

[putter288]

I use to go to Victoria secrets and get evening wear for my ex wife, for birthdays and holidays. no One ever said anything, they were happy to take my money.
When I started buying for my self, I started during the holidays, just picked out bra nad panti sets I like in my size.
Walmart and JC Penny were no big deal either....Ask a sales lady in Pennys to help... MY Wife is a size.....and I would like to get her a nice gift ....is this brand better than that?
Like most things in life .....two things about buying woman's clothes are true.....it gets easier the more you do it and its almost never as bad as your ming pictures it

[t-girlxsophie]

The only wee problem for me shopping in ASDA (wal-mart) is I work in the damn place LOL

I would be say It's probably better when it IS busier,If you have worries about SA's they would be run off their feet and not giving it a seconds thought as to who is buying what

:hugs:Sophie xx

[Hope]

When are you going to stop living your life to make other people happy and comfortable instead of yourself?

When that day comes, you will never hesitate to buy a bra in a store ever again.

You want to make that day today? Do this: Think about all of the days of your life you have waisted. Think about all of the things you will never be able to do, all of the experiences you have not had because you are afraid of social pressure. You will never get to go to your prom presenting the way you feel most alive. You will never attend your best friends wedding as yourself. You will never get to go to a real slumber party. Maybe your list is different, but you get the idea. Close your eyes and picture what you have given up because of fear. Be in the moment.

You feel that heaviness in your heart? You feel that ache in the pit of your stomach? You hear that cry of lament from your very soul? That is regret. Which is worse, that feeling, or the occasional odd look from a stranger? Which is worse, upsetting someone who means nothing to you, or giving up a piece of your life?

Next time you start to get nervous about shopping for whatever, or putting that heel out the door, remember that feeling, and act accordingly.

Here is the truth: You will get the occasional bad reaction from people. People will talk about you behind your back. But the vast majority of what is holding you back is in your head - not out in the world - especially if you have never gone out and bought the bra and experienced the bad reaction in the first place. You are being controlled by your imagination of the reaction you would get.

Our time here is short - suck the marrow out of it.

[linda allen]

I managed to buy a wig today. Not a great one, it's from a party store and Halloween is just around the corner. It's not freaky or anything, it looks OK.

SA just told me that wigs are not returnable. No smile, nothing else. It was easier than I expected but of course, it's for Halloween right? :)

[anonymousinmaryland]

You can do this. It gets easier every time. Honest. At Wal-Mart they even have self checkouts. Presto. Pick n choose. Go n pay. Go home (or wherever) and have fun. You can do this. Honest.

[TrekGirl1701]

People will respond very positively to confidence. What I do when I shop is I act like I have every right in the world to shop in the women's section, which I actually do. Do people stare at me when I'm browsing? Hell if I know, because I'm just minding my own business. You just need to relax and not make it such a big deal.

Then when I'm checking out the clerks will normally smile and ask "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" They're trying to generate a little small talk to make the customer feel more welcome. When this happens my advice would be to avoid giving one word answers and to make direct eye contact with them. I've been on the other side of the counter many times and I hate it when a customer isn't giving back as much as I'm giving them.

[Tiara]

If I am in a small shop, I tell the sales person I am in a drag show. Most of the sales staff are then very helpful and some actually enjoy helping you.
If at a large place, like a Wal Mart, I'll dilute the female items with other stuff, like men's clothes, food, etc.
Tiara