Well adjusted?

[Kate Simmons]

I'm wondering how many here think of themselves as having been well adjusted as a male while they were growing up? If that is so, why did you choose to crossdress? It isn't exactly something that comes out of nowhere and all of a sudden you decide to do it. If not, how did crossdressing through out the years help you adapt to life and the role society cast you in?

[Kathryn Martin]

I think many of us would be well adjusted "somethings" if society and our environment would not push certain gender expectation on us.

I have always been like I am now. I simply added dressing to express what was and is there. I also find that growing older and now being a grandparent I have the freedom from myself to simply do what I want. Life is pretty intense with making a career, making a family, raising the children etc.

I have always regretted that I was not permitted by convention and societal expectations to dress like I wanted. Well, now it is my time and time to just dress as I like.

Kathryn

[Ashley_Marie]

If you consider well adjusted as having both parents around then I would have to say no. My parents got divorced when I was 3. I can literally count on one hand the number of times I have seen my dad. I was raised by a single woman, who had probably some idea how to raise a boy. My mom's youngest sibling is male. But probably not enough to teach me what it is to be male. Which is why I think it feels so natural when I dress. Because my mannerisms, personality are more attuned to being female due to my upbringing.

[Steph.TS]

I had a stable family life, I've behaved within the social normal society expects me to, I am well balanced I just wish I could be allowed to stop being a man, and feel free to be truly who I am. Being a 'man' seems like playing a part in a play, and I feel like I'll get boo'd off the stage if I stop acting.

I'm certain that few people if anyone has a clue I crossdress, let alone want to be a woman...

[vivian fair]

I think I was a real boy and then when I was five she forced me to wear a pair of panties. The die was cast! vivian12

[suchacutie]

Was I well-adjusted? What can I say? I liked girls, I was a bit shy, I was a rather accomplished violinist by the time of middle school (and so was not exactly out of the lime-light), because of my violin I was terrible at sports and hated gym class, I was ill for the first 5 years of my life and didn't recover physically until I was 18 (so I was this smallish kid, with a senior class picture that my daughter tells me would be in the class of "pretty boy" today!).

Ok, so why did I start crossdressing? Not a clue. At age 55 with my wife and I just having fun, I was suddenly "dressed" for her and she insisted we buy me a dress to show off my incredible legs.

When we thought about it and tried to analyze those first 55 years it became clear in hindsight that Tina was always there and a part of me. Would it have been helpful to acknowledge Tina in, say, 1965 in high school? Hell NO!!! I could not have handled that. In fact, I'm not sure it would have been a good thing any time before it happened.

It's been an incredible ride, and a remarkably steep learning curve in the last 5 years, but I can't imagine the nightmare it would have been had I somehow made the jump from "well-adjusted male" to transgendered male any time before this. I think I hit it just right, and my wonderful wife is a large part of the positive experience Tina continues to be.

I will say that finding out who Tina is has led to a massive increase in understanding who the total person is and has been. It clearly has changed my life, and there is no negative part of it!!!

tina

[sandra-leigh]

People mean different things by "well-adjusted". I was polite, responsible, quiet, intelligent, law-abiding, helpful, kind to animals, curious, well-read, avoided trouble, and various other things that you might hope your kid would be. From those points of view, I was unusually well-adjusted. Fiscally responsible, too.

But I wasn't athletic or well-coordinated or "a leader": my socialization was weak enough that my teachers worried about me and recommended I undergo physical and psychological testing. I was bullied by the other boys for being uncoordinated; I was bullied for being a "teacher's pet"; I was bullied for getting high marks; I was bullied for being polite and for being nice instead of being rough and tumble; I was bullied by the meaner students just because they could; I was bullied for not being "male" enough; I was bullied for hanging around with my older sister (whose friends were tolerant of me) instead of hanging around with guys (but few guys wanted to hang around with me.) If you define "well adjusted" as adjusting well to your peer group and fitting in with them, then I was a pretty definite failure.

I did not, in short, grow up to (consciously) pretend to be anything other than I was, and I did not grow up to "fit in", and I did not grow up to take ignorant remarks overly personally: I did hurt that people were unkind or patently indifferent to me, but I knew that I wasn't doing anything fundamentally wrong and that had to sustain me.

When I discovered in about 6 years ago that I was a cross-dresser, I did not try to deny it to myself or to hide it away from society: it was part of myself and I explored it actively and publically. Social criticism of my actions or my very existence is an old companion of mine, as is the struggle to be true to my feelings and ethics even when the costs are high.

[Jodygurl]

Wow, what a beautifully diverse group. There certainly is no common thread in the comments. I suspect that we all have a little of all the "histories" in our backrounds.

I know I started very young, just about the begining of puberty. I remember the rush from putting on my mother's things. Yea, I'm still conflicted and embarrassed about that but there it is. I wanted to to wear that stuff! For twenty or so years I just dismissed it as a masturbation fantasy.

My home life had been pretty much normal, Dad was the nicest person I've ever met. He drank too much but even drunk he was a sweetheart. I have had the preception that Mom ran the show but in hindsight I know that wasn't true.

When I was 13 they shipped me off to a boarding school because my little town had, in their estimation, a poor school district and they wanted the best for me. Thank the lord for that. I got picked on as the kid from the sticks w/ no street smarts by the contry club boys but had my set of friends and GFs.

I don't recall thinking much about dressing until I was divorced and living on my own when I was thirty. It all started to become clear "inside" but social pressure caused me to keep hiding it.

Second marriage and she caught me in her drawers, and panties. She didn't have a probem w/ it but she was one of those people you should not have married. Intellectually we were 100 miles apart.

Lived alone for years after that and really got into it but my biggest fear was getting caught. Decided to marry again (guess I ain't too bright) and pitched all my fun stuff. The shame was that I had moved past the masturbation fantasy idea and realized that I'd been really happy when dressing up.

I fessed up to the third wife (told her I like panties and nylons) which went ok for a while but as soon as I no longer had a six figure income it was a problem. Go figger!

If any of you have stuck abound I'll tell you the really strange part. Over the years I've had a number of homosexual encounters, some of which were sorta long term. I always felt dirty, used, and degraded afterwords.

Here's the great part, when I'm dressed (even under drab) I have absolutely no desire to be w/ a man. I'd love to be w/ a woman again, but just feeling feminine seems to be enough.

As so many of you have said, it's a long journey. I seem to have been enjoying that journey for the last few years. I'm finally comfortable w/ Jody. 'Course she's been there all along. Nice to see her out and breathing free.

[AKAMichelle]

Sounds like hours of therapy to find the answer to that one. I was fairly well adjusted and I have no clue as to why I started cd'ing.

[Kathryn Martin]

Sounds like hours of therapy to find the answer to that one. I was fairly well adjusted and I have no clue as to why I started cd'ing.

You say "was" are you not well adjusted now. You certainly seem to be :). You strike me as very well adjusted and down to earth:straightface:

[Lynn Marie]

In my youth, I pretty much was over-compensating for my fears of not being man enough to live up to my diploma from the John Wayne School of Manhood.

Now I'm well adjusted as I sit at my computer responding to this thread in a skirt and stockings and heels.

[donnalee]

Absolutely not! However, brilliant and talented, not to mention modest, more than made up for it. :devil:

[docrobbysherry]

And, it DOES happen, Denise!

I started dressing at age 50+. With absolutely NO DESIRE to try on ladies things before then! :eek:
Altho I had PLENTY of opportunities!:)

[Shari]

For me, it WAS exactly something that came out of nowhere and I simply decided to just do it.

I had zero problems being a young boy and then becoming a man while practicing this "thing" from time to time.
Crossdressing was just something I did in private and felt no guilt or shame about it.
When the session ended, I was me again.

I was around 10 or so when I saw the girdle and stockings. I had some alone time and the inclination to act.
The memory of that is still as sweet today.
It still feels so very good.

[Charlena]

Well, My father (Marine 1944-46) would vist Old Granddad every day, a pint graduated to a fifth. He had many bad war dreams once he lined my mother sister and I against the wall with rifle on us, when he came back to reality he fell to his knees and started crying. Poor man, I have long forgiven him that I was never going live up to his expectations. I love him now but he died in 82 and we were never close. My Mom would Valium dance to Conway Twitty doing housework and nap on the couch about two-o-clock every day. She was so pretty...Like myself and so many others they did the best they could under the circumstances. I was confused and *ucked up most of my younger years. my children were born and no time for that. I tried on my older sisters pink leotard and tutu after "she had gone to live with Jesus" when i was five years old. Mom caught me and cried, now I think it was more than catching me in girls clothes. Sorry to ramble but to answer the question I think I am as "well adjusted" now as ever but still working on it. Peace to you and all you love, my friends. Charlena

[Kathi Lake]

I consider myself almost pathologically well-adjusted. :)

I am just a normal guy, with normal guy dreams, aspirations, and a normal guy life (house in the suburbs, 3 kids, wonderful wife, great church life, etc.). Oh, I also have this little hobby where I like to dress as a woman and go out. It doesn't control my life. It doesn't define my life. It adds to my life. My feminine side doesn't "compete" for me, it completes me.

Basically, I've got it pretty darn good and feel severely blessed.

:)

Kathi

[Gerrijerry]

[QUOTE=Denise Rhodes;2251000]I'm wondering how many here think of themselves as having been well adjusted as a male while they were growing up?


I was never happy as a male form the yourgest age I can remember. But well adjusted that would depend on who you talk to about me. I was shy, always afraid of bullies and didn't like boy games. I was in fact picked on in school by the older boys. I meet my wife in high school I told her one day I liked her clothes. She had me try on some. We dated thru college married had kids the kids now have kids. Am I well adjusted. I don't know but I prefer being female then male and now I finally can be.

[SusieB]

I never gave this any thought before now. I was six or seven the first time I dressed. It felt so natural and right then and it still does. I have always through feelings of guilt and shame kept this part of me hidden. I had loving parents and a good childhood. I have a marvelous marriage and two wonderful children. I am intersted in sport and participated (badly) throughout my life. I have had a successful career and although a long way from wealthy, I am secure. So, I suppose as a man I am well adjusted. But there are two sides to me and as a complete person I dont believe I am well adjusted. I feel that until such time as I can muster the moral courage to introduce Susie to my SO and deal with the consequences, I cannot describe myself as well adjusted. Regrettably I may never be.

[DonnaT]

It isn't exactly something that comes out of nowhere and all of a sudden you decide to do it.

It isn't!?

Damn, fooled me. I mean the clothes were there, minding there own business, but silently egging me on. So I did, liked it, felt good, and kept on doing it.

Well, that's not entirely accurate.

I was well adjusted. Did all the things boys do, sports, fishing, hunting, etc., back in my area of WV. Had four brothers, no sisters.

One day, a few years prior to my first dressing up, while out playing army with a few others, I saw a boy dressed up and playing with his sister. I so wanted to be that boy. The die was cast.

[Lorileah]

wait! I had a choice?

I was well adjusted. Misaligned maybe but well adjusted. i played baseball, I rode my bike, joined the boy scouts and I tried to see girl's panties (well adjusted CD's use the word "panties in every post they can). I think I was well adjusted but confused often as to why when when someone called me "sissy" or "Pantie waist" I didn't feel the insult others did. I just figured it was "me", who I was, and I liked being different. Since I didn't question why I felt the way I did I didn't worry about it. I don't remember making a conscious choice as to wearing girl's stuff, it just felt like I should.

[sissystephanie]

I have always thought I grew up a pretty well adjusted male, even if I was a CD! I started wearing panties (Yes, I am a CD and have to mention them!) at age 6 and have been a CD almost ever since! But other than that I was a normal boy, young man, and grown man. But until my wife passed away, I could also become a pretty well adjusted female! I did need her help with some things! Now I am just a man who frequently wears a skirt or dress!

[kimdl93]

It certainly didn't come out of nowhere in my case. I first wore a slip at around 5 years old. As a kid, and even as an adult, I'd always felt there was something different (as in wrong) about me. When as a teen I started dressing in my sisters things, I confirmed what I'd alreadly innately felt....that I was damaged goods. I managed to make a life, raise some kids, have two relatively successful marriages (I even count the first despite its unfortunate ending), but didn't really come to grips with myself until I got some counseling. So, well adjusted...not for most of my life...perhaps better adjusted today.

[Alice Torn]

I had not heard the phrase "panty waist", for years, Lorileah! What does that mean? Can't any waist wear panties? I was never well adjusted, was beaten up as a baby, by my older twin brothers, who 56 yrs later, still ridicule me. I was bullied and picked on all through school, and some jobs. At 14, i first sneaked into my sisters things, then my mom's, and it was a sexual fetish, for sure. After a few months of that, I would simply draw pictures of what i wanted in a girl. I did not dress again, for decades, and at 51, first fully dressed. In some ways i have become more balanced, but, everyone in my family is very eccentric, and mal adjusted.

[tricia_uktv]

Don't I choose the role hon?

I didn't but I was totally well adjusted. I knew but I fought it so hard.

I now accept what I know to be true and I love wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Oh, the importance of maturity!

[Kate Simmons]

My point to all of this my friends is to show that without the societal gender "premise" of what we are biologically, we are all basically human beings and human beings have the innate ability to display a plethora of feelings and emotions, mode of presentation or clothing notwithstanding.:)