need help , desperatly and quickly please

[Victoria Anne]

As you know I am going full time on the 18Th , and I just realized that in coming out to everyone I know and informing them of my decision to go full time I forgot all about work ! I need some advise on what to do , were to start as I need to talk to them quickly . I am not going to change my plans so I have got to figure something out , a place to start so if you can offer any advise from your experience please let me know. Thank you.

Viccy

[Gerrijerry]

It depends on who you work for. In a larger company that has an HR department you need to notify them. In a small company or private store you would need to talk to the owner. The reaction will depend on where in the country you live and how excepting they are to gender correction. I work for a larger company and once I told them, they said they would notify my direct boss. I had no problem with the company and still work there. However I was told that I was not to think that everyone there would accept me. Which is of course what happeneds. I simple do my job and did not talk to anyone that had a problem with it. A few minor comments for week or so and then everyone was back in there own little world. I hope you have no problems. Just remember to do your work and even those that accept will not want to talk about the subject more then once. Don't push your self on others looking for support. Just try to act like you have always lived this way and make life more important then the clothes.

[Victoria Anne]

Gerri , thank you for your reply. I work for an international company (Truckload carrier) I am on my own 99% of the time , I know my job and have done it for 30 years now . My fears are the perception that they will have with who I am as I am out there as a representative of the company , so I am just not sure what to expect but I will think hard about talking to them in the next couple of days. The HR dept. already knows I have changed my name but I kept my first name out of fear as to how they would respond (sorry I did that) but dropping my first name should be no big deal. I work with one woman who knows nothing about Viccy , that said she is in control of my life as my fleet manager.

[Freddy12]

I agree that talking to HR is absolutely the first and most important thing to do. Just don't put it off. Also, they are not your friends in HR. They will always look out for what they think is best for the company. Be friendly, but firm. Do not let them intimidate you. You have made your decision. Just my thoughts. The very best of luck.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

also go to some websites and see if there is any info from girls that did what you are doing... every company and situation is unique, but it helps to know what others have done..

the more you know going into a talk with HR the better...i didn't know enough when i went to my boss years back

[ReneeT]

Make sure that you familiarize yourself with your company's diversity policy and all applicable laws related to discrimination both in your state and the state your company is headquartered in. If your firm has a diversity officer, you may want to contact him/her

[Victoria Anne]

Thank you ladies for the advise and suggestions , I am checking the Human Rights Campaign as they seem to have an abundance of information . I am going to do a bit of research before talking to the HR Dept. . I think I can go for awhile before coming out to them since it has been 9 months since my last trip into the office , that is not to unusual but I am due soon.

[Melody Moore]

My advice is be EXTREMELY confident about who you really are, don't show any sort of weakness, fear or intimidation or they will be all over you. I would also advise arming yourself with information about your anti-discrimination & vilification laws, so if any situation ever arises, you know your rights & what action you can take if anyone discriminates against you, or tries to vilify you.

Remember if this does ever happen a good way to gather any evidence of discrimination that you might need to support a complaint to your local anti-discrimination commission is to make an audio recording of the abuse on a micro-cassette or pocket voice recorder such as your mobile phone.

[Angel.Marie76]

I would just add that it is always goig to be different from one company to the next, and that each approach has its pros and cons. I have heard people springing it on their shops, often shocking management and HR with 1-2 weeks to a month in advance, and then in other cases informing folks WELL in advance so that everyone can prepare for this/that/etc. Situations vary, and it is always best to feel out how your company and departments work through things.

Since your deadline is so close, I can't necessarily tell you if 'the short approach' might be the best for you, as I'm going the long route. So far, as an example, I informed my HR department 13 months (Nov. 2009) in advance, as I had started bumping into fellow employees outside the office shorty around then. It was in an effort to stave off rumors and confusion. My tentative F/T at work date is New Years 2011, and so in that time they've scheduled global refreshers on Diversity training for all employees shortly before 'the Man' leaves on permemnant vacation and Angel is brought in as a permenant replacement. My HR, managers, and so forth all now what's going on now, and everyone is ramping up and being preparred. My HR department has now more or less thanked me for giving them enough time to plan for everything. I can only hope for the best for myself and everyone else in similar situations.

Conversely, I know full well that by telling my office SO far in advance, I could be setting myself up for the executioner's axe. It's a fine line to walk especially if you feel you can't trust your management.

All the best Viccy!