Are we narcissistic?

[yazooey]

Hey everyone,
I was just looking over my old posts and threads and reading through what I was thinking at that moment. It really made me a little embarrassed in that I am completely narcissistic. Now, as my male self I am further from my femme side in that I generally deflect attention from myself. Compliments make me feel a little uncomfortable so I quickly turn the compliment onto someone else.

Now when I start a thread to share with you all I don't come out and say, "Hey, look at me and tell me how I look." Rather, I post pictures to share myself with you all but eventually, I start to receive comments and sometimes compliments and I start to love the attention. I graciously accept compliments and then I start to check hourly to see who else has commented or complimented. I think that this is a rather ugly trait of "Natalie" That's my femme name by the way.

If I've ever rubbed anyone in the wrong way please accept my apologies. I do, however, love to look at everyone's pictures and I have to admit that I don't comment all the time. When I do comment I am pretty certain that I am always complimentary.

Does anyone else feel this way about their alter-ego femme side?

[Lauren415]

I know I am!

[Alice Torn]

Yes, for various reasons, I am a self centered narcissist. Baby of the family, but bullied and constantly put down by older brothers, at school, on jobs. I was forced to look at myself, forced to make adjustments, and that is not wrong. I am self-centered, but, do volunteer to assist others who are hurting. I have come to realize that even my good works, are too often ego-centered, to make me feel good about me. But, i suppose that is better, than deliberrately doing harm. No SO, or kids. Just me and my cats. Single folks do have a tough time, with this, and CDing throws another secret self into it. Channeling my self centeredness, into being the best person i can be, despite serious dysfunctions, and doing some good for others , and the Higher Power, is all one can do. Cding has made me better in some ways, but maybe more secretive and self centered, too.

[sandra-leigh]

I do not feel as much empathy for others as I aspire to, but I was told fairly firmly that I am not narcistic.

[kimdl93]

I'm sure I am somewhat nacissistic...but isn't almost everyone? Freud believed that some narcissism is an essential part of all of us from birth.[1] Andrew P. Morrison claims that, in adults, a reasonable amount of healthy narcissism allows the individual's perception of his(her) needs to be balanced in relation to others.(courtesy Wikipedia)

[Sarah Doepner]

Natalie,

I've worn out 3 mirrors in my attempt to find just the right outfit, hair and makeup. I stare at every photo wondering how everyone gets their best look. I am so superficial there's only one side to me at times. Enough about me, what do you think about me?

It is natural to be absorbed and interested in the process of this transformation we attempt. Is it narcissistic? Probably to a point, but at times it's an appreciation for the magic that gets done and how it changes our perception of that image we have been watching for years in the mirror. When it gets to the point where everthing you do is focused on your image and you let friends, family and other responsibilities fall to the wayside, then it's a problem. The rest of the time there isn't much wrong with looking for those comments and especially those compliments.

[carhill2mn]

I am very much like you. As a male I am not anxious to have my photo taken (an old man, you know) but when en femme I take lots of photos and share many. I much prefer looking at photos of my fem self!

[AKAMichelle]

I am in denial. :devil:

[sissystephanie]

I am ME, nothing more and nothing less!!

[Tara1967]

I also feel the same way. I get compliments as a man and it can sometimes embarass me. But as Tara I do seek approval from everyone on this site on my pics. I do feel very up lifted when I would get compliments on them. And it's not to hook up, but it's just getting the reassurances on the scale of passablity, and I think that passabilty is what we all want and we all do our best. Some CD's here look a lot better than I do for passing. I know that. I mean when we transform to being a woman, we look, act, and think like woman. So in that aspect, just like real women, we like compliments on our feminine looks. How is this dress or skirt, etc. But narcistic? Only unless we do the same when in man mode could we be somewhat narcistic. Just as one poster here talked of upbringing and of being bullied in school and at work and have always been put down by so many for so long, sometimes we reach out and desire that sense of belonging and acceptance and of being a peer. It's easy for so many in the world, but for some of us we have to ask for things.

[Christie ann]

yes, pretty much but really no more than any other person I have met

[Andrea Reynolds]

No. At least I don't believe I am. Sure, I try to be the girl I think I should be. I like attention. I do feel the spotlight was meant for me. However, I feel that my egotism blocks out any narcissistic tendencies. Andrea

[5150 Girl]

I'm quite self loathing in drab, But, yes, when dressed, I can be quite vain. Vanity is my gretest sin I think.
However, if I were to have the opritunity to be me more often, I think a lot of that vanity would subside.

[LitaKelley]

I am very much like you. As a male I am not anxious to have my photo taken (an old man, you know) but when en femme I take lots of photos and share many. I much prefer looking at photos of my fem self!

:) That sounds just like me, lol.. I HATE seeing myself in photos or in the mirror, but when en femme, oh my.. I just love seeing my pretty self.

[Kathryn Martin]

Narcissism is when you can't stop looking at yourself and are in love with yourself and your looks in an unhealthy way. It is not vanity which is more trying to be perfect in your looks and often when it gets out of hand to go to far with what you will do to achieve the look.

I am not narcissistic, I have much compassion and empathy for others and while I love who I am I am not unrealistic about myself and am not in love with myself.

I am vain, especially at this time of full tilt boogie exploration of becoming a woman in my outer expression. I know that will calm down as soon as I have found the right look for me and have found the right kind of clothes to express that.

What you describe is in my view an entirely natural trait of all TG/CD in that we in some ways desperately seek validation for our female presentation. I do not think that is either narcissistic or vain.

Interesting thread this

Kathryn

[Jenna Stunned]

Oh god yes. I'm a total narcissist. Only when I'm dressed though. Not that I think I'm all that but more because I like to see the transformation.

[Jay Cee]

In my male life, I shrug off compliments with self deprecating comments.

Here, online, oh..... I just soak in any and all compliments about my appearance. Or, I guess my legs, as that is all that I have shown. :)

[Barbara Dugan]

I try not to be.

[Pattie O]

"Ego Is Not A Dirty Word"-song from Skyhooks back in the 70's would sum it up I think.

[docrobbysherry]

If ANYONE says anything nice about how I look, I just KNOW they're LYING or WANT something!:Angry3:

But, Sherry!? That attention hoor? If she doesn't get compliments all the time, she's a screaming be-atch!:doh:

Oh! And PLEASE don't tell her I SAID THAT!:o

[Samantha Girl]

As others have said before me... In guy mode I shrink from compliments, even if they are well deserved. As an artist I receive a good amount of complimets on my artwork, and it makes me feel awesome, especially if it's of the more constructive kind. And yet I still shrink a bit even from art compliments, I rarely want to be anywhere near the center of attention.

I am somewhat narcissistic though in that I really like myself and am generally happy with who I am and my interests and how I behave myself. In terms of my Samantha time, I'm pretty much the same person however I present myself. Though I do seem to enjoy compliments more when I'm dressed up then in drab. I think that just goes to the fact that dressing up as a woman and trying to emulate women (I don't really try to pass, my style is too ****ty and outlandish for that) is HARD work! Doing my hair and makeup, shaving almost everything on my body, putting together a fun & stylish outfit and then actually going out en femme and receiving compliments is an awesome validation of the work I'm putting into this aspect of my life :battingeyelashes:

BTW, picture compliments are always welcome! Makes a girl feel great... go look now!!! No wait, let me upload a new album first! :heehee:

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Maybe it's a desire to improve hence the looking at ones self and soliciting comments. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that. It's entirely possible to confuse that with narcissism. Trust me I have known my share of people who are narcissistic and they do not try to improve themselves in any way shape or form. It's different here.

[Starr]

of course.. what is wrong with that.. we love seeing the new us.

[TxKimberly]

You know if I have to apologize for that sort of thing, I'm going to be terribly busy AND I'm gonna wear the paint off of the letters on my keyboard. . .

[DonnaT]

Well, I like looking at my legs. ;)

[Gerrijerry]

first of all I can't even spell the word correctly Narcissisum somthing like that.
Any way The only one that counts is me and how good I look with my perfect body and size 2 dress. My makeup is always fab. there is nothing about me that is not perfect. I have told myself that so often that even my mirror believes me.

Now for the real world DUH an overweight older woman is not someone who can admire herself in the mirror. That is to say (even saying That I pass as a woman) may be pushing the point to far. I there for can say without any intense thought. that I am not that word you girls can spell and i can't.

[Chickhe]

Well...maybe but, I think maybe we are more unconvinced we look good, but are pleased to hear otherwise. The difficult thing to figure out is reality. But, people have different tastes so you will look good to some and not others... As a group, I think it is not the case, because narsasistic people are so self absorbed they tend not to know how to complement others. Generally, I see nothing but support from most CDers.

[Annaliese2010]

Narcissistic? Oh yes, completely. Duly so, wouldnt cha say? Tee hee... ;)

[Jennifercrossdress]

I'm not narcissitic, I'm just awesome. ;)

[Inna]

I am coming to a conclusion that narcissistic describes someone occupied with joying in their own presentation, so long story short especially for a CDer it would be the essence of the act. However going further, if the person feels of being a woman within and strives to appear of the image in line with their psyche then presentation becomes much more that mare fetishistic outlet. It represents manifestation of one self as they truly feel they are. Genetic females inherently are prone to presentation to attract sufficient mate so it could be described as genetic predisposition to narcissistic tendencies. I guess in any light, if one cares about an outward appearance, and such act does not harm any other person, then it should be looked upon as perfectly fine and also as presenting with respect to others.

[Kate Simmons]

I do not think there can be a blanket determination of that.:)

[Jodygurl]

The concenses of attitudes is amazing. I agree that as Mr. Drab I avoid complements and looking in the mirror. More concerned about my accomplishments than my looks. But Jody loves looking at her body and compliments make her tummy flutter along w/ her eyelashes. She is always trying to improve her looks and feels she deserves the attention.

I'll wager that it has a lot to do w/ how we're raised and the attitudes of society. Boys work, girls look lovely. That may be changing to some degree but a lot of us grew up w/ that ethic.

And I like looking lovely.

[Kendra (Tx)]

Funny thing is...."What's his name" always wants to be behind the camera......Kendra always wants to be IN FRONT of the camera....LOL....Narcissistic???? I'd give that a big YES!!! :D

http://kendra954.com

[MsJanessa]

of course

[DameErrant]

Hey everyone,
I was just looking over my old posts and threads and reading through what I was thinking at that moment. It really made me a little embarrassed in that I am completely narcissistic. Now, as my male self I am further from my femme side in that I generally deflect attention from myself. Compliments make me feel a little uncomfortable so I quickly turn the compliment onto someone else.

Now when I start a thread to share with you all I don't come out and say, "Hey, look at me and tell me how I look." Rather, I post pictures to share myself with you all but eventually, I start to receive comments and sometimes compliments and I start to love the attention. I graciously accept compliments and then I start to check hourly to see who else has commented or complimented. I think that this is a rather ugly trait of "Natalie" That's my femme name by the way.

If I've ever rubbed anyone in the wrong way please accept my apologies. I do, however, love to look at everyone's pictures and I have to admit that I don't comment all the time. When I do comment I am pretty certain that I am always complimentary.

Does anyone else feel this way about their alter-ego femme side?

Dear, if you were "completely narcissistic" you would be incapable of realizing it. Since you do have enough self awareness to wonder, I would say, and this is just my opinion, that you, like me, may be somewhat narcissisitic, but not completely so. We can adjust our behavior to compensate, wherever it has an impact on our loved ones, as long as we are aware of of tendencies. At least, we can try.

[TinaMc]

No, I don't think I am. Slightly vain, but I'm not a narcissist.

[yazooey]

Okay, vain, yeah, i guess i am vain. Makes me feel a little better. LOL. I just want to let you all know that I love this site and the community here. I would hate it if I was seen as a b---h. That's all. It still feels odd posting pics up and feeling like I'm showing off. Thanks for all the support over the years.

[Sophie86]

Yes, I would also call it vanity rather than narcissism, but I soooooo think that song was about me. :p

[StarrOfDelite]

[COLOR="blue"]Let's see, I spend hours shaving myself all over, tweezing my eyebrows, applying makeup to my face, matching this dress with that skirt with those shoes, with about ten trips to the mirror for every action, and then I will spend hours arranging furniture, placing lights and tripods all over the place so I can get about one picture in a hundred to turn out "right." Nah, there's no chance in Hell that I'm narcissistic.

[nikkijo]

nope not at all... now get off my thread.

[ChrissySox]

It's just a word quacks use to describe what disagrees with their ideology. Don't take it to heart.

Narcissus was a figure from Greek mythology who thought he was "too sexy for his shirt" and the gods expelled him from society to a pond where he was forced to gaze at his image in a reflecting pool.

Then Freud and a bunch of other retards invented psychology and scammed every emotionally troubled person in to thinking they were real doctors...and they fabricated important-sounding words like "narcissim" so they could bill you by the hour.

The rest is history.

[sandra-leigh]

It's just a word quacks use to describe what disagrees with their ideology. Don't take it to heart.

So my relatives who have been diagnosed with Narcistic Personality Disorder are just... what, "misunderstood" ? "Having difficulty with communicating" ? "Troubled" ? Or just plain a**-holes ?

I would give you rather troubling examples of just how insensitive narcists can be, but the stories were told to me in confidence.

[Danni Bear]

Sandra,

Horror stories are for around the campfire. Narcists can be and are dangerous to those around them.

Be careful and safe.

love
Danni

[Satrana]

The type of femininity we CDs chase after - the fashionable, sexy, desirable, partying starlet is an inherently vain behavior. I think we can all think of GGs especially teenagers who fit this bill.

But as men we are conditioned to believe this to be unmanly and inappropriate so we avoid it. So this is another female privilege we get to enjoy without shame and guilt when we transform. Society understands the self-centeredness involved in spending so much time and effort on your appearance for the sake of others' appreciation. It is fun to explore emotions and feelings that have been denied to you for your entire life.

[ChrissySox]

So my relatives who have been diagnosed with Narcistic Personality Disorder are just... what, "misunderstood" ? "Having difficulty with communicating" ? "Troubled" ? Or just plain a**-holes ?

I would give you rather troubling examples of just how insensitive narcists can be, but the stories were told to me in confidence.

How about we go with just plain @ssholes? You know, like the kind that feel the need to use quotations for no good "reason" in a bombastic fashion.

I'm sorry you and your family are so f--ked up, but there are certainly better descriptions than the generic terms the quacks who masquerade as doctors use nowadays. Also, given your responses in my previous threads I tend to think you are now trolling me, so lay off.

[ChrissySox]

Get a sense of humor, life is too short

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fI8834iCgo

[faltenrock]

yes, I love looking in the mirror to see my figure and my beautiful outfits, which I would love to see on my wife and other women.

[sandra-leigh]

Also, given your responses in my previous threads I tend to think you are now trolling me, so lay off.

I sometimes post humour, but I do not bother to troll. I do, however, attempt to educate and learn, based upon the principles of evidence and reasonable argument. I find myself saying "I didn't know that" and "Gee, I didn't know that was possible" several hundred times per day --- and then, time permitting, I go and research those matters and learn something.

Science and technology thrive through the exchange of opinion and through (polite) challenges to knowledge. "How do you know that is so?" is not a personal affront: it is an opportunity to educate or to reflect that one might be holding unwarranted assumptions.

Attacks on a person's character are unnecessary ... and are also against the forum rules.

[xout101]

It seems we shun compliments when they're directed at our male selves. My mother used to compliment me to no end as a child and I hated it because I was hiding my femme side, so as far as I was concerned she was complimenting someone else. Now I'm seeking acceptance of my real self among women. I could care less what men think about how I look. Perhaps some CDs and TGs seek acceptance with men, and this might have to do with childhood variables.