Help me please, advices appreciated for a TS ?!

[shaz24]

I always considered myself as a casual crossdresser since I was 12. Now I'm 24+ and I've been in one or two relationships with females and came out of them for other reasons. I noticed when I had girlfriends I forgot about my crossdressing habits as well as urges. However, now that I'm single again...the urges have been replaced with a feeling of acceptance. Now, I feel more comfortable wearing girls' clothes at home and if I become sexually aroused, it turns me on much better if I see myself as a girl and act like that. However, right after my "release" of fluids, I get the urge to change back into my boy clothes and do something boyish. I actually liked the feeling of releasing and then changing back into my female clothes but I didn't because doing so would arouse my feminine persona. When this feminine persona of mine takes over, I become less productive, slower, and softer in terms of my work. As the days go by, I'm becoming more used to wearing the female clothes for a longer time even after my release but I'm not sure if I'm a crossdresser or a MTF transsexual. I've even had boyfriends online with whom I've had cyber as a female. I want to take a decision now and if I leave this feminine persona of mine, I want it to be final this time. I've noticed that I get more drawn to crossdressing when feeling lonely. I look forward to advices from other people with similar experiences in here. Thank you for reading xx.

[StaceyJane]

To be honest it doesn't sound like you are TS. I don't know why you feel like you have to make a decision now. I would adivise taking some time to explore your feelings. People crossdress for many different reasons. I think you have to find the place that you feel comfortable with.

[Hope]

It sounds like this is mostly sexual for you. There is no shame in that. A LOT of us make our first tentative steps into womanhood through sexual exploration.

Sexuality is a BIG part of our lives as humans, and it shouldn't be dismissed, but unless you feel a desire to be female at times that don't involve sex, I would be hesitant to suggest that you should plan on major life changes.

If you are interested in interacting with the world as a woman, all, or even most of the time, in both sexual and non-sexual situations, (going to the bank, the grocery store, the doctors office, work) you might want to consider your identity as more trans, but if it is mostly about sex, or the desire goes away after you masturbate... I would be hesitant to think that you were trans. Ultimately however, YOU are the only one who can decide, and it is really only your opinion that matters.

About the loneliness and the masturbation... LOTS of guys masturbate out of boredom. If you have other activities in your life (volunteer for something) I bet you will see your masturbatory frequency drop. Not that there is anything wrong with masturbation or I am telling you to knock it off... just an observation based on your question.

It sounds like you are in a more or less good place, comfortable accepting yourself, and comfortable being "out" to your girlfriends, that is important. But I would also be worried about your desire to be rid of this part of you. I seriously doubt that there is anything you can do to leave this all behind forever. I assure you, lots of us have tried.

Either way, I think it is time for you to see a therapist. A professional can help you explore this in a lot more helpful ways than any of us can, and if nothing else, if you are going to be trans - you are going to need to see a therapist anyway.

[shaz24]

Hope, when I was a minor I once got into a chat room with a female name just as a joke. Some perv started talking to me really as if I'm a female and asked me to do things for him. It turned me on being treated as a female. I think since then I became more exposed to and familiar with my feminine persona. I read somewhere that a lot of crossdressers become so because of experiences of childhood sexual abuse. Is that true?

[neworleanssusan]

When I read this, I thought.... "Did I write this?????"

[VikkiVixen7188]

I have been exactly where you are right now man, and yeah at first when your with a girl it feels like your completed and dont need your femme persona, but trust me, your femme side will come back. Dont fight it, just embrace it and you will probably always cycle between male and female.

[kimdl93]

I wouldn't read too much into it. As any young person, you're sexual needs tend to be at the forefront. It may be that once' you're in an enduring relationship, your dressing will diminish....but if you're like many of us, it will come back as a less sexual activity later in life.

[neworleanssusan]

I read somewhere that a lot of crossdressers become so because of experiences of childhood sexual abuse. Is that true?

First, an old saying: "All generalizations are false, including this one."

Second, I can only speak for ME, but I came from the most non-abusive background imaginable. Nothing. Nyet. Nein. Nada.

[shaz24]

Susan, thanks for replying so many times and giving support. By the way, would you know the exact reasons behind these tendencies of us. Is it because of hormonal imblance, is it genetic, or is it because of one's upbringing ?

[Danlp]

Hi,
My only advice is to make your decision soon. Don'5t wait till you get baggage. I'm 65 and know that all too well.

Danielle

[Freddy12]

I think that there is no need to rush things. See a therapist if at all possible. A therapist can help you sort through your feelings and motivations. Then, and only then can you make any kind of decision. MTF transitions are permanemt. If that is the direction you need to go, great. But if you realize later that you were just working through a phase, it will be too late. See a therapist soon.

[Jay Cee]

Shaz:

Had similar experiences since I was in my teens - I'd become aroused at the idea of being a woman (or a TS). As soon as I achieved sexual gratification, the desire to be femme disappeared. I usually also felt some amount of shame as well. Now that I am in a relationship with a woman who accepts my CD'ing, my alter ego has come forth that much more. There is still some small amount of shame involved, but it is greatly reduced.

Like others have said, you are unlikely to just rid yourself of your feminine side. Go see a counsellor, therapist, or pshycologist. Talk it out with that person.

As far as causes are concerned, there are lots of theories. I don't think anyone has pinned down the exact reason(s). Just remember - it isn't a sin or an illness. It is just the way you are. Don't sweat it - enjoy it. Revel in it, as it can be life changing and life improving.

[Kelly Blaine]

There is some really good advice here so ponder the recommendations. In the beginning I was some what aroused even thinking about dressesing and now I feel fem when I pick up my purse. Take it easy and explore.

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe you're gay. Maybe you're bi. Maybe you're TG/TS, maybe just a CD. Whatever u r now, it'll PROBABLY change anyway! My God you're so YOUNG!:heehee:

I'm over 60. And I only started dressing about 14 years ago. It WAS and IS sexual for me!:o
And, despite what u read here, MOST CD/TG/TSs were turned by their dressing at ONE TIME OR ANOTHER!:D

Like u, when I'm "dating" a GG, my CD desire goes on the back burner!:brolleyes: