im new to this

[nehapriya]

im male 2 ffemale cd..and wish 2 ask many qustions to f2m too..can u plz help me

[Gerrijerry]

Well I can't think of a better place to get your answers then here. So ask away and I am sure everyone will give there feelings on what ever you ask.

[nehapriya]

hi ..as we ladies feel that we are born in wrong body of a male..what abt f2m cds .why would they prefer being a male which we hate of being so

[Ze]

why would they prefer being a male which we hate of being so

Basically, take what you feel as an MtF and flip it around. That's pretty much the answer. :) We likewise can't imagine why you'd want to live as female, yet we simply respect your choice. We know we're opposites, yet closely related in our struggles as transgender people.

Feel free to ask us more questions either here or in the other thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?115322-Open-Invite-to-GGs-MtFs-and-CDs-Ask-Us-Whatever-You-Want!) you already have become acquainted with.

[nehapriya]

I have many reasons for not being a male...and to live as female..u kknow.. i always feel..those born as girls are very lucky .. i always feel jealous when i see a Genetic girl arond me and imagine myself to be her ..

[Ze]

Well no need to feel jealous around us because we're not genetic girls. ;) We have the same exact struggles you do, just turned around.

[nehapriya]

ya ..true i wish god gave me what u have and gave u what i have

[AnonyMouse]

That would have been nice, definitely. There are some things I appreciate about being trans, though. It's made me a better person on the whole than if I had been born male. Not only has it made me much more understanding of trans people, but it made me a dedicated feminist from a young age and made me much more openminded on the whole, so I tend to think that it's not all bad.

[sandcastle]

Nehapriya,

Welcome to the website.

Regards,
Sandra

[Inna]

Ok Nehapria has beet me to it. I just had this thought of asking you guys to shed some light on the subject. What are the aspects of womanhood that are so intensely bad that you result to transition or is the transition provoked by onset of indescribable desire to be a man. Are there traits you will regret leaving behind, and if you could find the place on this earth where every one is accepting and open would you still go full blast or would you take it half way there and retain some of your womanhood?

[nehapriya]

yes i would die to be a woman

[mistunderstood]

Here is the problem my body does not match my mind. I am male and my body is female. I have all the feelings of male. Most of my good friends are male and I have asked them questions about these feelings and they match. My body causes me great discomfort. It is like I have clothes on that are to tight and I can not breath till I take off the clothes.
There are not just one thing about being female that is per-say bad it is just I am in wrong body. There for It is just that my body does things I can not accept or live with.

[Ze]

Ok Nehapria has beet me to it. I just had this thought of asking you guys to shed some light on the subject. What are the aspects of womanhood that are so intensely bad that you result to transition or is the transition provoked by onset of indescribable desire to be a man. Are there traits you will regret leaving behind, and if you could find the place on this earth where every one is accepting and open would you still go full blast or would you take it half way there and retain some of your womanhood?

In a discussion on T, my therapist just this past week asked me what of "femaleness" I may miss. I couldn't come up with a single thing. All I can think of are all the horrible things I can't wait to leave behind. Potentiality of pregnancy, breasts, menstrual cycle (that one's the worst), my body's response to arousal (hence I keep it from happening as best I can), the fluctuations of female hormones...the list goes on and on.

It's all so agonizing and horrible that it's caused me years of depression, self-loathing and abuse, and suicidal tendencies even before I knew what I was. (And before then I thought I was really crazy.) As I've said many times in the past, take your dysphoria about your own body and flip it entirely around. I have to admit I'm a little surprised so many MtFs have to ask us such a question as to why we'd ever do this. We boys seem to get you without much of a hitch. It's the same thing...just the opposite. No light really needs to be shed. You all already know how it feels, just as we do.

This womanhood is beyond disgusting. It must go if I'm to live.

[nehapriya]

S ze ,, ur rite,, we like to become mothers and u fathers...wish there was a medicine which could make us the way we want to be

[Inna]

What you are saying is just so simple and to the point. There is no difference, other than character of Avatar (I mean body which we occupy) we want to represent our inner being. Just like the conversation I had with my mom, she said: "but you are so manly"............. well, it doesn't help.
On the other hand when I really go deep within my psyche I know that I am made of conglomerate of ingredients from both sexes, yes I do feel more feminine and yet there are these factors which are male like behavior as well. Hence was my question weather there were any traits that you would find feminine but nevertheless within your core. I suppose there are those who are entirely opposite but is it really possible to be just 100% male or vice verse. I have a tendency to think that we are all made up of male and female but one surfaces as a dominant and other secondary character. When I analyze my self and look beyond my fixation on being woman I see those traits in mix where femininity is a driving force but masculinity follows as second.

[Ze]

Yeah exactly. :) On the first bit.

The latter half of your inquiry is interesting. Details in that regard probably vary by the person, MtF or FtM or GQ or cis or whatever. Personally, I still stick to what I said above; I've given it much thought, but in the end I can't think of female things I'd want to keep or would miss when gone.

Now, I'm only referring to bio-female physical characteristics and functions. I'm one of those people that believes behaviors are in large part socially constructed, and hence have no real gender despite culture insisting otherwise. e.g. Before I moved and had the ability to do so, I enjoyed baking. I don't consider that a purely female behavior, most especially since it's my father that taught me.

So as far as non-bio things are concerned, yes, there would probably be things that I'd miss if they were gone, but they won't be because they weren't necessarily female to begin with. I'd never get rid of my personality.

[nehapriya]

but i always feel completly female

[crashd0309]

true true

[nehapriya]

Hi Ze ....how are u

[bianca66]

I think if God made me a female then I would want to be a male...That is just the way I am.

[AnonyMouse]

Ok Nehapria has beet me to it. I just had this thought of asking you guys to shed some light on the subject. What are the aspects of womanhood that are so intensely bad that you result to transition or is the transition provoked by onset of indescribable desire to be a man. Are there traits you will regret leaving behind, and if you could find the place on this earth where every one is accepting and open would you still go full blast or would you take it half way there and retain some of your womanhood?

You say "womanhood" like it's a good thing. :heehee:

Here's the thing: there are no "aspects" of womanhood that are so intensely bad that I want to transition. It's the CONCEPT of womanhood that makes me want to transition. Having people see me as a female entity and change their behavior and expectations appropriately makes me mad enough to spit. Even if they told me that I could get a double mastectomy and wear men's clothes all my life and never bear children, if they continued to treat me as a woman it wouldn't make a whole lot of difference.

The one thing about being physically female that specifically bothers me (on a regular basis, anyway) is having breasts. After eight-ish years of ownership, my inner sense of self continues to insist that they do not belong on my chest, are not an integrated or healthy part of my body. Getting those removed would alleviate part of the stress - but, because of the factors I mentioned before, I would still be unhappy on the whole.

From my perspective, there is nothing about "manhood" or "womanhood" that isn't covered above. The genderization of many traits (personality-wise, skilled, or physical) is, as far as I can tell, a social construct invented to reinforce the "nonexistant" patriarchy (yes, I'm going on a feminist kick here). And even though I have traits that definitely fall under "female" (girl parts, high nurturing instinct, tendency to squeal like a little girl when confronted with Zac Efron), because of my gender identity I process these female traits through a masculine lens. Even when I go all-out and present as female (which I do, periodically, for kicks), I do it from the perspective of someone who is male and pretending otherwise.

The question I have to ask at this point is, do we consider femme men to have "taken on some aspects of womanhood" because they have better taste in clothes and/or hygiene, don't wear body hair, are attracted to men (when they are), or are better at tasks that women typically excel at? On a biological basis you might be able to make a case for it, but on a social basis, they are "men who are doing traditionally feminine things," not "men who are part woman." (Unless they self-identify otherwise.)

I'm sorry if I didn't answer the question effectively. I wasn't entirely sure what the question meant, so I might have missed your point. But in a nutshell, there is nothing that I will miss specifically that I can honestly consider to be "an aspect of womanhood." I'm not even sure that I've ever had womanhood. I used to say things like "I'm a WOMAN!" but I never really grokked it, even when my exterior was 100% female.

[Tracii G]

Ze I have to agree just switch it around! That's in in a nutshell.
Nothing much different really.Some days when I HAVE to be a guy it just about kills me to have to act like one.Some days its not so bad.
I hate being so damn sensitive to what people say some times I want to just blurt it out and that would get me in some major hot water!!
One day at work a bunch of guys were teasing another guy because his wife dressed him up as a girl for Halloween and they were calling him fag boy and pansy boy.
That about caused me to pop a blood vessel in my forehead!!
I said guys! Hell leave him alone who cares it was Halloween its not like he does it every day.
One guy said so you must be a fag too then so I said want to go outside and find out cutie?I was sooo close to drilling him right between the eyes then kissing him on the forehead to make it worse.In case anyone was looking mind you he's a homophobe ass wipe.

Opps sorry for the major thread derailing my bad I'm sorry!:doh: