VS Fan
09-04-2010, 06:18 PM
It's been nearly a year since I came out to my SO, and while it's been generally a "don't ask don't tell" arrangement, she has made jokes and seemed rather accepting of it if not "supportive." I have NOT crossed any boundaries we set a year ago (well the only real boundary set of her not seeing me dressed EVER and basically to continue to "hide" it even though she knows).. I have continued to do laundry outside of the normal patterns etc to avoid her even seeing any of my stuff. The conversation is generally light on the topic if it comes up, and she has no problem with it (relationship is as great as ever in all other aspects) or at least has not let on with any changes in attitudes to the negative.
As such, I was thinking of using the "one year" anniversary of me telling her about this side of me to open the conversation a little more and basically say "ok, it's been a year, figured we could talk and make sure you're still cool with all of this etc..." the motives being both pure (i really do want to know if her attitudes are changing.. or if she's been harboring feelings that if I giver her an opening she will share) and a little bit of hoping that *IF* she is still very cool about it that I might be able to open things up a bit... still not trying to get her to "see" me, but maybe make one night a week or a couple nights a month an official "me" night where she knows that I'm in the basement dressed or whatever so I don't have to "sneak" around about it. Basically letting her know that the pretending to hide it from her approach is a little wearing on me and to see if she would be cool being a *little* more open about it.
So on to my question: Does anyone have any experiences to share along these lines? I'm fully prepared for a backlash over shaven legs etc since it's hard to "hide" that, but she has not said anything about it to me AT ALL that would indicate a preference that I not do this... I'm not really asking for advice, since I know it's all about COMMUNICATION!! :) I just wanted to share a little bit and was wondering if anyone else did anything similar.
Thanks!
VS Fan
As such, I was thinking of using the "one year" anniversary of me telling her about this side of me to open the conversation a little more and basically say "ok, it's been a year, figured we could talk and make sure you're still cool with all of this etc..." the motives being both pure (i really do want to know if her attitudes are changing.. or if she's been harboring feelings that if I giver her an opening she will share) and a little bit of hoping that *IF* she is still very cool about it that I might be able to open things up a bit... still not trying to get her to "see" me, but maybe make one night a week or a couple nights a month an official "me" night where she knows that I'm in the basement dressed or whatever so I don't have to "sneak" around about it. Basically letting her know that the pretending to hide it from her approach is a little wearing on me and to see if she would be cool being a *little* more open about it.
So on to my question: Does anyone have any experiences to share along these lines? I'm fully prepared for a backlash over shaven legs etc since it's hard to "hide" that, but she has not said anything about it to me AT ALL that would indicate a preference that I not do this... I'm not really asking for advice, since I know it's all about COMMUNICATION!! :) I just wanted to share a little bit and was wondering if anyone else did anything similar.
Thanks!
VS Fan