Told the daughter

[TxKimberly]

Well, I took a little bit of a plunge today. My (almost) seven year old daughter once again asked me about all of the pretty clothes and shoes in my closet and I just couldn't take it anymore. I sat down for a little bit of a talk with her.
"Tell me the truth, why do you think that I have pretty things in my closet?" I asked her.
"Ummm . . . because you like to admire them?" she said, clearly very serious and not joking. That actually set me back a second. Come on, a seven year old coming up with a phrase like that on her own?
"Would it bother you if daddy likes to wear pretty things once in a while?" I asked her.
She sat there quiet and looking embarrassed for a second.
"Well, I think you would look pretty silly. You would look like a boy!" she said. 'Well, if it comes down to looks, this ought to set her back a step!' I thought to myself as I pulled my all time favorite pic out of my wallet and showed it to her.
"This is daddy." I told her as I handed it to her. Her eyes got big as plates as she looked at it and then looked at me.
"I'm very surprised! You look very pretty Daddy!" she said and then handed it back to me.
"Do you have any other pictures?" she asked. I had one fairly recent pic on my cell phone and showed that to her also.
"I'm very surprised Daddy. You look very nice daddy!" she said again, still looking at the picture.
"Thank you baby!" I told her and gave her a hug.
"Now you have to be very careful not to tell your friends or teachers at school." I told her.
"Because they would be mean to me?" she asked.
"I'm afraid that they might be sweetheart. A lot of people really wouldn't like daddy if they knew I liked to wear pretty things sometimes and they might be mean to you because of it. Oh, and I wouldn't say anything to grandpa either." I told her.
"Because he doesn't know?" She asked.
"Right, he doesn't know and wouldn't like it."
"Does Mommy know?"
"Yes dear, mommy knows all about it." I told her.
"OK." she said. "Wanna go play Mario Brothers?"
"Sure!"
Just like that, it was over . . .

Of course my wife doesn't know I've flat out told her yet and THAT might get VERY ugly! Still, it had gotten to the point where it was silly to act like she was just suddenly going to stop asking me about it, and I didn't want to lie to my daughter. How can I tell her that it is wrong to lie if I tell her lies - especially lies that she will eventually catch me in.

[Starling]

Right on, sister!

:) Lallie

[CallMeMeg]

It's all comes down to being true to yourself. I'm anxious to see how this plays out. I hope you let us know!

I have sons. They just don't go into my closet. If they did, they'd see that one side is women's clothing. I've had years to think about what to say, but I don't know yet.

[Chickhe]

Kids that age...they suck all the information in and file it away... they keep asking until they get an answer, but once they have it, they move on. I have a kid a little older than that, I'm not so worried about them getting hurt, more like loosing friends or missing out on play dates because their parents object, but as they get older they have the skills to pick their own friends... I actually think most kids would get a kick out of it and would think it is cool and halloween might become non-optional for me. My kid has seen me dressed on halloween and the first thing she did was grab my balloons and say they are soft like mommies!! (right in front of the baby sitter too!) ...I use halloween as a cover...to make dressing a fun event so the conversation can be ...daddy dressed as a girl, but it was for a party. Note, I have no plans to go full time, but dress on my own...no life style changes...just typical father figure.

[PretzelGirl]

Good for you Kimberly. I believe in the same thing. I have one daughter that doesn't know and if she ever asks, then she will know. We certainly can't be lying to our children. She sounds like such a doll too. Best of luck with everything that comes from this!

[Rogina B]

I was away for a week and my 8 yr old daughter showed me this AM that she had neatly put away my boy and girl clothes for me...I think you will be just fine...a LOT better than lying to her!

[DianeDeBris]

Hi Kim -- there are lots of reasons I enjoy and admire you, but one of the top ones is that you live with such integrity -- the way you approached this topic with your seven year old is just marvelous -- you showed her respect, you were truthful, you presented things in a way that was within a young child's comprehension, you were loving and you were unswervingly her daddy -- I am happy for you and so very proud of you!! Hugs -- Diane

[Daenna Paz]

WOW ... out of the mouths of babes ... ;^)

I wish I had been able to share with my daughters when they were young ... no real info back then ... I have no idea what I could have told them.

[TxKimberly]

It's all comes down to being true to yourself. . .

Well yes and no. I'm afraid my children DO come before being true to myself. The thing is, she WAS going to catch me sooner or later. My choice was to be honest with her now or have a shocked daughter later.

[Asako]

I think my niece would ecstatic to know I crossdress but my nephew who idolizes me as if I were the coolest person ever...that's the making of nightmares from Hell for me.

[Christina Horton]

Good for you girl friend!!!! This is a very good step. I hope your wife will be ok with it but from what you have told us about her I think it will be fine besides the first " you told her with out me there" kind of reaction on her part. Once you explain to her why you told her then I think she'll ebb fine with it.
If I had a wife (whom would have to be ok before we got married) would see Daddy dress all the time growing up and would be normal for them.

Great shopping trips with your daughter I see in your future, Especially when she really gets into clothes LOL. You'll do more shopping then you ever did in your whole life LOL.

[princessmisti74]

Congratulations! While I still very new to the site, I must say that you have handled this situation with the diplomacy of a veteran. I have yet to come accross this with my daughter (although, I just KNOW it will happen). Maybe I can use to same style that you have. I am very proud of you andyour accomplishment. Bravo!!

[Danni Bear]

Kim,
You were right in telling her after she asked, and did so in a manner that she could understand. Children know when parents lie to them even if it's to protect them. Now you have a problem that I see coming in the future. A daughter that will want you and her mother to go shopping with her. At least till she becomes a teen and then wants her friends to help. Such is the life of a parent, Needed when they are young.

:hugs:
Danni

[Persephone]

Well yes and no. I'm afraid my children DO come before being true to myself. The thing is, she WAS going to catch me sooner or later. My choice was to be honest with her now or have a shocked daughter later.

One more proof of what Diane wrote!


Hi Kim -- there are lots of reasons I enjoy and admire you, but one of the top ones is that you live with such integrity -- the way you approached this topic with your seven year old is just marvelous -- you showed her respect, you were truthful, you presented things in a way that was within a young child's comprehension, you were loving and you were unswervingly her daddy -- I am happy for you and so very proud of you!! Hugs -- Diane

Right on!

From the way you quote the conversation, it is obvious that you did the right thing. And it sounds like your daughter is totally mature and very wise for her age. I told my son when he was 12. He's been very, very good with it, although at times I think he's not too glad about it. He does love it though when he goes to occassional Rocky Horror shows; he gets a real kick out of saying, "Dad, can I borrow some heels and can you help me with my mascara?"

Way to go, Kimberly!

[Christina Horton]

He does love it though when he goes to occasional Rocky Horror shows; he gets a real kick out of saying, "Dad, can I borrow some heels and can you help me with my mascara?"

Way to go, Kimberly!

He may have a little CD in him too just has not come to think of it. YNK!

[Miranda09]

A courageous step Kimberly, but your daughter seems to be a very astute youngster and, your're right, better you tell her on your terms rather than her find out about it accidentally. :)

[Marissa]

Kimberly, that is great how you approached the whole situation.. and gave warnings of an ugly world that we have at times.. I know you may have a battle with the Mrs..when she hears how you opened the door for your daughter..but as you have handled many situations with dignity and assurance, I'm sure you will do just fine.

Thank you for sharing this as others will face the same issues..

Hugs,
Marissa

[yazooey]

Hey Kimberly,
Let me introduce myself as a Kimberly travels reader. And an avid one at that. Your daughter seems incredibly bright and ultimately very sweet. I like how she approached you, "Dad" and poked and prodded for an answer and she got one. A very honest and protective answer. You are an awesome father. You knew she was on to you and that she was much too wise to accept any BS from daddy. I love it. You are very honest and protective and all the things a great parent should be. I am envious. I hope that I can be that way when I have children. Good for you girl!

[Leslie Langford]

Kimberly,

Sounds as if you handled this situation very well, all things considered.

Having these types of conversations with our children when they are very young do tend to blind-side us, as they usually come up at the most inopportune times. Just like having THE talk about sex with them for the first time (and no, "Go ask your mother" is not the preferred answer, even if the temptation to do so is overwhelming :eek::heehee::doh:).

Actually, your daughter's nonchalant reaction reminds me of a conversation I had with my own daughter when she was about 12 years old, and out of the blue one day asked me what oral sex was. Well, despite my utter surprise and initial shock at her directness, I was able to recover quickly and managed to explain it as delicately as I could while still being factual. And as I was hemming and hawing my way through my convoluted answer, she suddenly interjected with "Oh, you mean like a blow job?". To which I sheepishly replied "Yes, something like that", and with that the conversation effectively ended and we seamlessly moved on to another topic, just as you and your daughter did :eek::o:heehee:.

That said, you're far from being out of the woods on this one yet, Kimberly, and the big elephant in the room remains what your wife's reaction to all this will be. My gut feeling is that it ain't gonna be pretty, and there will be a verbal beating/tongue lashing after the excrement hits the ventilator. I strongly suggest you don't do a Tiger Woods here and take the initiative yourself before she gets wind of this talk first via other means. Put your story and the reasons why you did what you did together in a logical and coherent manner, practise your speech until you can recite it backwards, catch her in a good moment, take a deep breath and then proceed - all the while preparing to assume the fetal position as necessary once the fireworks begin:D Better to do it this way than dying the death of a thousand cuts, and I'm sure that once the emotions and drama subside, she will also see that it was for the best overall, that honesty really was the best policy here, and that you simply addressed the inevitable in a forthright manner with no one being traumatized in the process.

And if you do find yourself singing in the Vienna Boy's Choir once the dust has settled...well, as a crossdresser, that would be an upside to that particular outcome, right? :eek::doh::D.

[Mary Morgan]

Now that is one precious, mature seven year old.

[Patricia Johnson]

I, like others, am totally blown away again by you and the way you handle your life and the unapologetically truthful way you live your life. I await each post you bring to the table and I know of all your travels this one here posed( for you possibly) the most stress. You handled this so wonderfully and your daughter is such a treasure. Thank you again for sharing and just being you in this very trying situation.

[nehapriya]

i wish i had a daughter like urs

[Raychel]

Well yes and no. I'm afraid my children DO come before being true to myself. The thing is, she WAS going to catch me sooner or later. My choice was to be honest with her now or have a shocked daughter later.

I am with you there Kimberly, Wife and kids come way before myself. You definitly did the right thing, The timing was there and she was ready for an honest explaination, That is proven by her reply "OK." "Wanna go play Mario Brothers?"

Just goes to show you. Kids are very accepting of everything as long as there is true love there.:thumbsup::thumbsup:

[Shelly Preston]

Congratulations Kimberley

You and your wife have an amazing daughter

I do hope your wife does not get upset by the fact you have told your daughter ( I think it may be a good idea to tell your wife quickly )

[Samantha Thomson]

txkimberly i got a 10yr old daughter to and she seen my clothes make-up etc she has ask me a few times if there her mothers but i kind of beat around the bush telling her i finaly told her sumer last yr and like yours ask if mother new told her yes but her mother and i have not told her that we both like men and women dont know when we will tell her that but you know kids they find out one way or the other cant hide from them but one thing that is sweet my bd is coming up and over herd her ask her mother to help her go out shopping and get me a bra,blouse and skirt for my bd that sweet well ok that it samantha

[insearchofme]

A good call for you. Now the hard part, you had best tell mom before your daughter does. Now that could be ugly.

Best wishes

Hugs,

[JoanAz]

Now you can take your daughter on Business Trips traveling as "Mother" & Daughter....
JoanAz

[BRANDYJ]

Kimberly, I have always enjoyed your posts and I respect and admire you a great deal. But I wonder if this was a good call on your part. True, your daughter might have found out on her own someday. But my first thoughts are is telling a 7 year old really a good idea? Second, I think I would have discussed this with her mother first. This is a BIG confession that can effect your daughter in the years to come. Perhaps in a good way but still, it was risky in my opinion. But now I sincerely hope it does not get ugly between you and your wife. This telling the truth thing should have been discussed with her first since it will effect the interaction between all of of you. I sincerely hope this works out for the best for you, your daughter and your wife.

[TxKimberly]

Kimberly, I have always enjoyed your posts and I respect and admire you a great deal. But I wonder if this was a good call on your part. True, your daughter might have found out on her own someday. But my first thoughts are is telling a 7 year old really a good idea? Second, I think I would have discussed this with her mother first. This is a BIG confession that can effect your daughter in the years to come. Perhaps in a good way but still, it was risky in my opinion. But now I sincerely hope it does not get ugly between you and your wife. This telling the truth thing should have been discussed with her first since it will effect the interaction between all of of you. I sincerely hope this works out for the best for you, your daughter and your wife.

Brandy, I can't argue with a single word you just posted. I guess we are just gonna have to wait and see if I've done the right thing or if I've made a horrible mistake . . .

[BRANDYJ]

Brandy, I can't argue with a single word you just posted. I guess we are just gonna have to wait and see if I've done the right thing or if I've made a horrible mistake . . .

Kimberly, my fingers are crossed for you. Please let us know how it goes. I'm sure some of us can learn from your experiences in telling her. As for me, I have to face maybe telling 3 little granddaughters that my SO has guardianship of. We have discussed it to some small degree and have not concluded anything since we are not living together...yet and therefore no reason to tell. But clearly, I would not tell them alone or without the go ahead of my SO. But the situation of course is very different then yours. I am still on the fence about telling any minor children. It's kind of like discussing your sex life with them in some ways to me. Of course for many of us if not most here, crossdressing is not about sex. So I guess everyone's situation is different and the need to tell will be as different from one CD ot another. Again, I hope everything goes well with your wife.

[Sara Jessica]

Wow Kimberly, what a disclosure.

I hope you don't mind but as I read your story, I put myself in your postion and my own 7 y/o daughter in place of yours. I imagined how the conversation would play out and I think it would be very similar.

I think I've said before that one of the things that bothers me the most about my compartmentalized existence is that while my wife knows when I go out, knows where my stuff is stashed, etc., the kids do not. We are always coming up with stories as to where I am and she runs interference as needd. It's a pain. Perhaps this disclosure to your sweet daughter can help you avoid some of that.

But one difference in our situations is how you keep your feminine things within range of the prying eyes of youth. It's almost as if there had to be an expectation of questions, or even discovery at some point. As I'm sure your wife is well aware of where you keep your stuff, perhaps this would be part of a segue into alerting her to the conversation with your daughter.

Now with all that said, I do hate that you had to say the following:


"Now you have to be very careful not to tell your friends or teachers at school." I told her.
"Because they would be mean to me?" she asked.
"I'm afraid that they might be sweetheart. A lot of people really wouldn't like daddy if they knew I liked to wear pretty things sometimes and they might be mean to you because of it. "

Of course I don't think you were wrong for saying this. It's the absolute truth. It just stinks that we have to even think in these terms. Based on what you describe about your daughter, if she were ever confronted with having to defend you to others, I'd bet she would do so quite admirably. Best of luck to you Kimberly in how this plays out.

[AKAMichelle]

I think you will be fine with your daughter. It produce very different situations in the future but at least she knows. I am more worried about your telling the wife. She may not agree with your decision.

[carolinoakland]

Brava! Your daughter knows when your hiding something in just the way you know she's fibbing. It wasn't the pretty things that got her attention. It was the reaction you gave when she asked.

[TxKimberly]

. . . I am more worried about your telling the wife. She may not agree with your decision.

And THAT is what worries me the most, because I KNOW my wife is going to be angry. Still, how many times should I lie to my daughter when she asks why I have pretty things and why I pack pretty things when I travel? It got to the point where I thought it was absurd. She had asked me at least a half a dozen times - was I really hiding anything from her? Have I now told her anything that she didn't already know? I don't think so. . .
In the end I decided to do what I thought was right for both, my daughter and I, and deal with the consequences of my wife's irritation when it comes up.

[Jonianne]

Kim, I remember my therapist (Phd) telling me that if crossdressing was going to be a part of my life, the kids needed to know. My youngest was about 10 at the time. I did tell them and it worked out OK.

I did make sure to tell them that I was always going to be their dad.

[Lexine]

That is too sweet!

Plus points for Mario brothers! :D

[Sally24]

I've kind of been expecting this for the last year or two. Sharp ones like your little critter just won't let go of a bone once they've gotten ahold of it. I think you gave her the minimum information that she would accept for an answer without going into elaborate details she doesn't need to know right now. Your wife will probably stand on the wife's principle that she has a right to be angry about something. I suspect that will pass as she realizes that you both have allowed her to come in the room where clothes are kept. She'll still want to blame you, so I'm assuming you'll just hunker down and take the blame. Good luck! I think things will untimately be alright with your world.

[Glenda58]

Kim all will right with the daughter but you must tell your wife before your daughter does. Or she well be mad at you first for telling your daughter and second for not talking it over with her before you did it. She may have wanted some say into when how to tell her. So don't delay her that your daughter ask you and you told her. Before she finds out on her own.

[Sheren Kelly]

Hi Kim,
While you may be in some hot water with your wife in the near term, I can hope you will be able to work through it. But I believe the benefit will be in the long term; as your daughter will know you as a person of integrity, and one who is not afraid to trust her.
Good luck!

[Bobbi Lynn]

Hi Kimberly,
Way to go! From the sounds of some of your daughters responses she sounds like she is closer to 27 than 7. Good Luck with your wife, and you know everyone here is sending good thoughts your way in that regard.

[Sarah Doepner]

I think this was a good choice and with time it will prove to be good for your family. And yes, I'm sure your bride will be angry that you let your daughter know about Kim, but be sure she understands the rational behind the decision. It wasn't done without thought, just without much planning and coordination with your wife. And I hope your daughter kicked your butt in Mario. ;-)

[Alice B]

I think you handled it very well, as did your daughter and I think your wife will, in the long run, be happy about it also. I just came out to my daughter last month, but she is 42 years old and was excited about it and wants me to send her some shots. She live in Oklahoma. Now that she knows I only have to tell my granddaughter (15) and my entire family will know. It is a great relief.

[Carroll]

Good deal Kim. All my kids know (8, 11, 22) and I told them they should not tell anybody because it was a private family thing. One asked if it was a secret and I said No, it's just nobody else's business unless I want them to know.

[SherriePall]

Kim -- I read your post earlier today and just now reread it and all the replies. So, here's my take.
Your daughter had you backed into a corner and I think you handled it well, including the little warning to her not to tell anyone else.
Now, as far as your wife goes, I am with those who believe you should tell her what happened. Whatever you do, don't try to put some of the blame on her because she is kind enough to allow you space in your closet to hang your femme clothes!
The one thing on your side in this is that your son already knows so there is already precedence (sp?) established here.
Still, approach her in a most humble status.

[lexygirl]

Kim, I have to say that I believe you to be right in telling your daughter about this. My son has gown up with me dressing and he has no problems with it. As a matter of fact this a normal thing in our house so he feels no need to tell other people because it is so normal. As far as telling your wife I would tell her the truth and leave it at that. Good luck with everything and I congratulate you on raising a wonderful little person!!!!!

[TxKimberly]

I've kind of been expecting this for the last year or two. Sharp ones like your little critter just won't let go of a bone once they've gotten ahold of it. I think you gave her the minimum information that she would accept for an answer without going into elaborate details she doesn't need to know right now. Your wife will probably stand on the wife's principle that she has a right to be angry about something. I suspect that will pass as she realizes that you both have allowed her to come in the room where clothes are kept. She'll still want to blame you, so I'm assuming you'll just hunker down and take the blame. Good luck! I think things will untimately be alright with your world.

Holy smokes, you KNOW my wife don't you?

[Frédérique]

"I'm very surprised! You look very pretty Daddy!"

If I had a daughter, and I heard her say this, I would burst into tears…:cry:


A lot of people really wouldn't like daddy if they knew I liked to wear pretty things sometimes and they might be mean to you because of it.

It’s strange, because just the other day I was thinking about you and your young daughter, Kimberly, wondering when she would become aware of your crossdressing. I remember that photo you submitted a while ago when you were working on the pool, and she was sitting nearby. I have an excellent visual memory, BTW. Anyway, every time I see one of your posts I think about you hiding your “pretty things” in plain sight, and how difficult it must be for all concerned. I’m glad to hear your disclosure went so well, so far, and you did it now, when your daughter’s mind has yet to be filled with other people’s (or her peer’s) opinions. Crossdressing is a harmless enterprise, especially within this context, but it’s so difficult to explain properly. I wish you well – it sounds like you have a bright little girl there…

[NikkiBeth]

Kim
I am sure that you have taken a burden off of yourself by having this conversation with your daughter. We need to give realize that our kids are more astute and understanding than we give them credit for.
I am in the tell your wife now campup", it's better to have a heated discussion about the actual "discussion with your daughter" than having it blow up into an all out drag out about more issues and the main issue seems to get lost.
Just my 2 cents...

[JamieG]

Kim, I think the way you told your daughter was great, and her reaction was even better. I hope that if/when I do the same with my daughter that it goes as well. It's unfortunate that you did not have an opportunity to discuss the problem with your wife before deciding to tell. Did your wife know that you were getting fed up with lying to your daughter? She probably has a right to be upset, but if you explain your reasons the way you have here, I think she'll eventually get over it.

[kimdl93]

Kimbelry,

I think you handled the situation appropriately - you respected your daughter's intelligence by telling her the truth in a way that was appropriate for someone her age. My only concern is your wife. As you noted, she may not be really happy about this, but I don't see that you had any legitimate alternative.

[Tara Michele]

Kimberly,
Thank you for all of your postings, your courage (though you may think you are just having fun on your trips), and your example of personal honest and integrity. You have been a real example in helping me begin to "blossom." We can hope that you are sowing the seeds of a new generation that will have tolerance and understanding for human beings who live as they are ... and perhaps your daughter will be leading the way!
May your life be filled with God's blessing.
Tara Michele

[NathalieX66]

Of course my wife doesn't know I've flat out told her yet and THAT might get VERY ugly!

yeah, that's the part I worry about. Kids in their innocent way are too honest and up front. Sooner or later your wife will know your daughter knows.
Anyway, I've seen all your great pictures, and you look fabulous. Keep it up! :)

[Kari Lynn Franks]

kim im sorry I just posted a thread simular but my daughter is 24. its amazing how excepting kids are these days congrats

[7sisters]

Aaww. She's adorable. And now I strongly suggest you tell your wife ASAP. Better she hears it from you. Your kid may not tell your wife fearing she will get you into trouble. And it is too much of an emotional burden on your baby to keep it from her mom.
Here is an article, and dont be fooled by the title. I give it to all transparents to read.
http://www.ravenkaldera.org/activism/tgparent.html
all the best!

[TxKimberly]

You know, I try to be honest with everyone, so I think it's only fair to tell you all that while t seemed like the right thing to do at that very moment, in fact it seemed like the only thing to do at that moment, the more I think on it, the more I think it was the wrong thing to do. . .

[CallMeMeg]

You know, I try to be honest with everyone, so I think it's only fair to tell you all that while t seemed like the right thing to do at that very moment, in fact it seemed like the only thing to do at that moment, the more I think on it, the more I think it was the wrong thing to do. . .

Life's like that, ain't it?

My worry is how it goes forward. "This is a secret; don't tell anyone" does two things: it adds a burden to your daughter, and it tells her this is something that must be bad if it has to be hidden.

If you had a do-over what would you do?

[DonniDarkness]

Slow down there big sis.......

Ok....First as a daddy too.....Never regret the truth, no matter what...ever

second.....Your daughter has repeatedly asked about the clothes and all your pretty things.....she knew before she asked!....im telling you!...i have a very gifted 8 yr old too, if she asked, i would not lie to her. Our children spend a great deal of time with us as parents, they see little minuscule things that we as adults do not,because they are in a constant motion of learning. Part of learning is formulating your own opinions using free thought to produce logic, your daughter has done exactly that......."dad has girl clothes and all these pretty things....what do people do with pretty things....they wear them"..............We tend to think children are in their own world, when in fact they are completely engulfed in what makes up ours... Lying to her or giving her a half truth only sets the stage for her to learn that it is ok to hide things from other people in fear of ridicule.

You told her proudly, factual, and honestly.

Your her hero....no matter what you wear

From one father to another,
-Donni-

[Bobbi Lynn]

You know, I try to be honest with everyone, so I think it's only fair to tell you all that while t seemed like the right thing to do at that very moment, in fact it seemed like the only thing to do at that moment, the more I think on it, the more I think it was the wrong thing to do. . .

"Buyers Remorse"?

[Sally24]

You know, I try to be honest with everyone, so I think it's only fair to tell you all that while t seemed like the right thing to do at that very moment, in fact it seemed like the only thing to do at that moment, the more I think on it, the more I think it was the wrong thing to do. . .
you have to be a realistic.,it's only a matter of time before she found out on her own. you leave from the house dressed . Kids sleep patterns change.at some point she would have found kimberly instead of Poppa. choosing the correct time there's nothing wrong with that !

[DonnaT]

I believe the earlier the telling the better.

She's had questions, and would have continued to have them. It's quite likely that she would have come to the right conclusion in the future, but might not have taken it so well, depending on what she may have learned about how boys and girls should act from other sources, like playmates, or even teachers. You are in Texas.

[Anna the Dub]

I remember my friends daughter, when she was about 8, finding a pair of high heels in my wardrobe. She asked me if they were mine, I said yes, and she then said 'why don't you put them on now?' Kids are great.

[Jay Cee]

I think you handled it very well, Kimberly.

Personally (if I had kids), I'd probably not have much problem telling a 7 year old daughter about crossdressing. A 7 year old son? Bit of a different story:

"Bet my dad can beat up your dad!"

"Maybe", my son responds, "but I bet he is prettier than your mom."

[KateW]

Aww... I'm glad that she had such a positive reaction! xxx

[sami1952]

i'm planning tp spend some time with one one daughters and i was planning to her about me, so i'm glad you posted this. thanks
wish me luck

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Kim,

What's done is done but it was done on your terms as it should be. It will likely take a while for the dust to settle but it will. Your daughter clearly loves you as a person as she should. I think you were very brave, and right.

And you wrote it up beautifully

[steftoday]

You know, I try to be honest with everyone, so I think it's only fair to tell you all that while t seemed like the right thing to do at that very moment, in fact it seemed like the only thing to do at that moment, the more I think on it, the more I think it was the wrong thing to do. . .

well, you're still posting here with us, so you wife didn't kill you!!!

[MsJanessa]

May want to mention the coversation to your wife ASAP, even if it does "get ugly" it will get uglier if you don't tell her soon, assuming you haven't already

[renee k]

Hi Kim,

You've done one very important thing with your daughter. You've laid the ground work in regards to trust and honesty. I do suspect you've been doing this all long. But it does reinforce all the principles your children have been raised with. Which will go along way in their lives, and will be passed on to their children.

Renee

[joanna marie]

Kim all will right with the daughter but you must tell your wife before your daughter does. Or she well be mad at you first for telling your daughter and second for not talking it over with her before you did it. She may have wanted some say into when how to tell her. So don't delay her that your daughter ask you and you told her. Before she finds out on her own.

Its been my experience that wives don't like those type of surprises

[Starling]

Kim, your daughter sounds pretty mature for her age, which is certainly a tribute to the nurturing you and your wife have given her. You probably made the best choice you could have in a tough situation, and I think your wife will understand that--and will appreciate that your daughter learned her daddy loved her enough not to lie to her.

:) Lallie

[Jilmac]

Good For You Kimberly! It takes a real set of stones to do what you did but I hope your daughter will never hate you for dressing. All my kids are adults now and I still heven't progressed to the point of coming out to any of them. I have three sons and three daughters, I don't know if my sons will accept me but I have one daughter who is probably the most liberal of them all and I'm considering coming out to her. Perhaps now that your daughter knows she'll start asking you for fashion advice.

[Babeba]

You know, I try to be honest with everyone, so I think it's only fair to tell you all that while t seemed like the right thing to do at that very moment, in fact it seemed like the only thing to do at that moment, the more I think on it, the more I think it was the wrong thing to do. . .

To be honest, it sounds like your daughter really wanted to know. It didn't make sense to her why all these pretty clothes were hanging in Daddy's closet, and she wanted to know why. She sounds like a bright little kid, and I know at that age I HATED it if anyone refused to tell me what I wanted to find out the answers to. I know your wife will want to protect your daughter, and may not be happy about this - but it really wasn't about your wife in that moment. It was about your kid wanting to know about you, and pressing it until she got the answer that was satisfactorily complete. I agree with you, you can't lie about yourself to the people you love and with a direct, repeated question like that - it was the right time to tell her. It's a bit of a shame you didn't have a chance to discuss it with the wife ahead of time - but I'd say your reaction was top-notch, don't second-guess yourself.

[Edwina]

Kim, as Babeba said "don't second guess yourself" You were in a situation where there were only two choices, fabricate a story or tell the truth. You did the correct thing. If you had tried to make up something off the cuff you would have fallen flat on your er face when she started analising it. As a father of two girls and now five granddaughters I can vouch for that. :heehee: They have a way of thinking that defies adult logic.
Guess you are just have to prepare a humorous report for your wife and hope she sees the funny side. :D
:love: and good luck

Edwina

[TG-Taru]

You did good Kim. My niece has asked me a few things, and I wish I had been more open and honest. She got older and stopped asking, but I'm sure hasn't stopped noticing.

[Tina B.]

Kim, just stop it! You can't beat yourself up for doing the only thing you could. Just how could you stand there and lie to that child, when I know both you and your wife have told her it's wrong to tell lies no matter what. You have to live what you teach your kids, or they will know you to be a hypocrite, and no one likes those. Sure your wife maybe angry for a while, but I bet when she has time to think about it, and see that your relationship with your daughter is still intact, and she's alright with it, then maybe she will forgive you not waiting for her to get home. I have a granddaughter just a little older than your daughter, and she amazes me all the time with what she notices, and how she process what she sees. For a guy in a dress, you make a damn good father, we have all enjoyed your story's about her for a long time, and they are filled with your obvious love for her!
Tina B.

Kim sorry about the guy in a dress crack, just trying to make a point, you sure don't look like a guy in a dress!

[kimdl93]

I agree, Kimberly...don't second guess yourself. From earlier posts, this has been coming for a while. Your daughter is a smart kid...her question was inevitable. Your daughter chose the moment when she wanted an answer and you answered it well.

[SamanthaS]

Kim sounds like you have a great child there :) I've always thought you were very brave to live your life like you do; now I realize just how brave your really are. Give the kid another hug.

[Chari]

Kim,
Good for you to tell the truth to your daughter! Honesty is still the best policy, and your answer was best to come from you rather than your daughter hearing a strange fictitious story. Wonder what your wife would have told her if your daughter asked "Why does Daddy have pretty clothes?". It is best now to tell your wife about that conversation to prepare for future questions from your daughter on that subject, and there will be many more. Please don't beat yourself up about what you did or your answer. The time was right and so was your response! Look forward to all the great times and knowledge you can share with your daughter about clothes, makeup, and hair styles! Thanx for sharing.

[ashlylynn]

Well yes and no. I'm afraid my children DO come before being true to myself. The thing is, she WAS going to catch me sooner or later. My choice was to be honest with her now or have a shocked daughter later.

Don't ever be afraid of that. It's awesome. Be Superman first for her.
I'm glad your disclosure to your daughter went so well!!!

HIGHLY recommend you tell your wife about it before your daughter does!!

[Aleria]

Kimberly,
Once again, I'm found admiring you. I look forward to one day being able to being honest with my children, as well.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Wish you the best, it was a big decision - I would say it was right, if your daughter keeps the secret for her own, than it should be alright for your wife. Otherwise good luck. Maybe you can tell your wife, that your daughter found it out more or less by her own, I would say, that is not that wrong. And that you just told her the complete truth.

[TxKimberly]

I have told m wife of the conversation now. She wasn't thrilled but didn't explode either . . .

[JenniferR771]

Way to go Kim. That took courage for sure. I am thinking your wife is a keeper. Giver her a hug. Your girls are the best.

[Sophie86]

I'm so glad to hear that. I was wondering earlier today how that situation panned out.

I was whining a little to my wife this afternoon about how much it sucks being in the closet. I had just removed the pretty pink nail polish I'd had on my toes since Saturday. I was tired of wearing socks around the house, and decided I'd better get it off there before the kids noticed it. I was astounded when she responded by saying that it was time that we talked to the kids. I am so fortunate to have her!

[Robynts]

Kim, I am proud of you that you finally told your wife. In this situation making that confessoion had to be more scary than telling a spouse that you were a CD in the first place.

Robyn

[Starling]

Kim, I can't tell you how relieved I am that you finally spilled the beans to your wife, and she didn't go for her sidearm.

:heehee: Lallie