Odd day

[Danni Bear]

This has been an odd and perplexing day. It started off sitting seven of my grand daughters ages 3 to 9 while their mothers went to Houston. Not so bad as I only had my nails done three times ,toes twice ,and lost count of hair brushing. Had shoes and jewelry everywhere when their mothers finally got back and picked them up around four. Now it gets odd about 4:30 this evening when my 13 year old grand daughter called and asked if she could come over to talk.

As we were sitting in the den, and I'm trying to find out what is bothering her, she ups and asks me, How do you know you're different inside? Talk about a trick question. How do you explain to a 13 year old. Before I try to answer that, I wanted to find out what prompted the question. This got the conversation off in a direction that I was not expecting. I was looking for her to ask about me and her grandfather,she has been around us all through our transitions. Not even close to what she asked next. Whats it like to be a boy and how hard is it?

I don't know what is going to happen next. I called her mom and dad, and said to come over. We have something very important to discuss. The only thing that I'm sure of at the moment is that I will be taking her to see my therapist on Tuesday. She is not going to fight the battles that I have for a lifetime.


Danni


BTW, she is reading some of the posts on here as we wait for her parents to get here

[RADER]

Good for you; Be glad she reached out to you, and getting professional help is the way to go. Good Luck, Rader

[Ze]

Not quite sure what to say to help here, Danni, but you're doing right by taking her/him to a therapist. It'll be good right now regardless of identity. It probably also really helps to have an FtM grandfather. He should be a great source of help, and further so if transition eventually happens.

[AKAMichelle]

Odd Day indeed. How are the parents reacting? Are they willing to put her first and help her?

Sounds like you are taking the right approach by taking her to a therapist.

[Danni Bear]

This is one for the books. Jaimi, my daughter is sitting here telling me that she has suspected this for awhile. She is going with us to the therapist Tuesday. Britanny has gone upstairs to watch a movie while we talk about this. She is going to spend the night here. It's going to be a long one i'm afraid. She still wants to talk after her parents leave.

Danni

[Marcia Blue]

Danni, I hope you sleep well knowing, that you can do for your, Granddaughter, what others could not do for you. This young person at least had someone to confide in at such an early age.
I will be thinking and praying of your family. Pease let us know how things go.

[nvlady]

You have a VERY lucky grandaughter. I'm 66 years old, and it would have been SO nice to have someone to talk to 53 years ago. And to have her mother calmly say she suspected something is just icing on the cake.

[Danni Bear]

This is going to be a long two days. She has sat the last two plus hours in my arms crying. I don't want to be a girl, I hate my body, and on and on . Over and over time after time. Brian has gone to walmart to get her some boy's pj's, she is refusing to sleep in her nitegown.

How could I have not seen this coming? Are even we too blind to see it in our own loved ones? GOD help me help this precicous baby. Show me the way.

Danni

[Alice B]

I think your openness has given her the trust to approach you and I salute you for how you are dealing with it.

[AKAMichelle]

This is going to be a long two days. She has sat the last two plus hours in my arms crying. I don't want to be a girl, I hate my body, and on and on . Over and over time after time. Brian has gone to walmart to get her some boy's pj's, she is refusing to sleep in her nitegown.

How could I have not seen this coming? Are even we too blind to see it in our own loved ones? GOD help me help this precicous baby. Show me the way.

Danni

GOD has prepared you in your battles to help another who is not as strong as you both are. She will find it an easier task than either of you. She is one lucky kid. Hopefully she will find the answers that she is looking for.

[Asako]

I'd like to commend your grand daughter on her courage to explore those feelings. If I had explored my trans/crossdress tendancies at 10 instead of burying them as deep as I could, my life would have certainly been very different. In a sense, God has prepared you for this. You and your husband have a wealth of knowledge about transitioning to draw on to help her through the upcoming years. Hold this child tight and light up the dark night.

[Patty B.]

Your granddaughter is so fortunate to have you in her life, whatever it takes, you will find a way to help her understand her inner self. Good luck and best wishes.

[Gisele]

Bless her little heart. I am so glad she has you to come to. Just take it day by day.

[Tina B.]

Danni, I'm not so surprised that you didn't see this coming, after all most all trans people I've met on here and other places, seem to be pretty good at hiding it. And you and your husband have had your hands full with your own transitions. But that little girl/boy is lucky, having grandparents that have been down that path open to the whole family has given the child what most of us would love to have had. A close relative that loves you, and understands what your going through, at that age will make the rest of her life so much easier. With both understanding parents, and grandparents, she/he has a chance to find happiness with a lot less pain that the majority of us had learning to accept ourselves.
I'm glad she has such a great grandma to help her and guide her pass the pitfalls!
Tina B.

[Nikki A.]

At least you know what she is going through and thankfully her parents are also willing to at least explore what is best for their child. I hope everything all works out well, I wish you all the best.

[Inna]

Danni, I just had a cry reading your posts, emotions are so deep. I will hold all of you in my heart and pray for a rightful resolution. Fortunately your granddaughter had both of you to feel she can share this secret with, how fortunate. If she can be spared the devastating demons of guilt then who better then you taking her on the journey. Grandmas are the best!

[Danni Bear]

This has been one day that I will never forget.

As a lot of you know, my granddaughter told me yesterday evening that she doesn't want to be a girl. This caused a lot of soul searching and agony last nite,not only for me but also her parents.

This morning Jaimi and her husband came over. They brought with them some clothes for Brittany. They gave her the choice, boy or girl. You can probably guess which one she chose.

We have an annual family picnic on labor day out at the lake. The whole family is usually there along with many friends and neighbors and their kids. Brittany is there,looking everybit the boy (long hair excepting). What made the day so amazing to me was everyone called her him other than the little ones. I have never seen anybody so full of joy as that in my life. Acceptance so readily given.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but today is a memory she will have the rest of her life.

:hugs:
Danni

[Jaydee]

Wow, what a great story this has been. You are going to be a wonderful role model for your new grandson.

Jaydee

[Steph.TS]

sounds like a very accepting family, and I hope everything works out well.

[Asako]

I hope tomorrow brings even more revelations for your grandson. =) I also hope he can stand strong in the face of the criticism of his peers.

[Danni Bear]

Asako,

Hopefully that is one issue that will not raise its head. Our town is usually very accepting of people, I've been accepted here for 48 years. Thats when I was 14 and was enrolled in school as a girl by my own grandmother.We are one of the founding families of our area and have lived around here since 1858.

Love
Danni

[Asako]

If that's the case, then it sounds like things will go rather smoothly for him. =) Knowing that put a smile on my face. ^.^ I've lived mostly in little towns that are resistant to new ideas and/or change.

[ChrissySox]

Kids don't have the same perspective as us simply because they aren't burdened with years of exposure to prejudice and homophobia. I wouldn't let on to the kid it's a big deal, just let them decide for themselves.

[Tina B.]

Sounds like things are going very well so far for Brit. I'm glad for him. I hope someday he will realize just how much that instant acceptance will mean to him being a well adjusted young man. Danni, I had not heard the story of your Grandma entering you in school as a girl, your family should be held up as an example to all families on how to deal with differences with in the family unit, then all trans, or gay people could have a greater start in life.
Tina B.

[Inna]

I know what you must feel amongst the joy of being able to hold her close and allow him to become. I also know that the road ahead isn't all roses, and shall be filled with many questions and work to be done. I wish you the strength and perseverance which you already show and hope for brighter days for all your family, I am a strong believer of life's plan unfolding in mysterious ways often presenting as a tremendous challenge at first but then blooming to a miracle. How fortunate the child to have you beside, and environment void of hate and prejudice. All my love hon, please let you grandchild know I am one more accepting and loving soul within our Grand family.

[Danni Bear]

Quick udate on Brittany.

Gyno appt. tomorrow for tests and blood work.
A bloood test today showed an elevated T count and lower than expected estrogen level. The Dr's, want to try and find out whats causing this. My theapist thinks that this may have large bearing on what she is feeling right now.


danni