SO's???wife???

[Tara1967]

Hello everyone. I love reading all the threads and post's here. I have learned a lot about so many people and of the CD'ing community around the world and I respect each and every one of you and I would like to see something take place in these forums and threads and post's. I have read hundreds of post's. Now I know,, what "SO" stands for. And that would mean that a "person" that is in a loving relationship with another "person" would refer to the other "person" as their "SO". And I know that some MTF's that are in a relationship with another MTF should naturally refer to the other as their "SO". I am a CD. I am a gentic man that crossdresses. I am married to a genetic female. So I call her my "wife". Respectfully speaking , I feel that when some on here say my "SO", sometimes I or we , naturally assume that because the SO is refered to as SO, we have to think a minute. For example if I say my "wife" on a post, shouldn't we all assume that my "wife" is genetic female? A lot of stories I have to go back and look at the profiles to see stats on a poster, and then try to put it together the genetics of the one that the poster refers to as their "SO". Now I know that their are some on here that are genetic men that are legally married(civil union) to another genetic man, and that these men refer to that other person as their "SO". But can we try to simplify it somewhat in the future, that if you are posting in the (male to female) forum, and you are a genetic male can we please just refer to your lawful, civil unioned genetic female as your wife, and not your "SO".
I mean doesn't a married female(to a genetic male) want to be refered to as "wife" and not "SO". I want my "wife" (genetic female) when refering of me to others as her "husband" not her "SO' I know that I am opening up a huge can of worms as they say. But I think and know it would be much easier to read the post's and stories when the poster that is posting in the male to female threads with an avitar that is definatly a "genetic male" refers to "HIS" "SO". I have to stop and think a minute, Is he a man with a civil union(married to another man?) I mean I do eventually figure it out. But can we(MTF), CD's refer to our (gentic females) with a civil union contract from the states that are legal, just simply refer to "HER" as my wife"?
And just like on another thread where the poster was talking about differences between a CD and and RCD. I was so confused for a little while. Then I found out what the poster meant. An RCD was a "regular cross Dresser". I thought WTF, as much as we try to get mainstream society to accept us and understand us, we continue to confuse ourseves among ourselves. I thought how in the world are we going to receive some kind of acceptance with this society when their is so much confusion among ourselves??? I mean what if I were to get on here and was upset about the difficulties that I have being a RCD or if I was an UHRCD (Un-Happy Regular Crossdresser). Or if I was so confused about being a RUHGPCD(regular Un-Happy guitar Playing Crossdresser)?????? Please, everyone, be easy one me. And think about it all before attacking me so harshly. Can we not simplify some of these things and understand eachother, for if there is still this much confusion among ourselves, then how can we ever think for a minute that we will just explain to modern society what we are when we are so confused ourselves??????? (love & respect) Tara

[BRANDYJ]

Many people use the term SO (Significant Other) to refer to their GG or GM partner that they are in a relationship with, in love with, live with BUT are not married to. So to spell it out for you, I am in love with my GG partner. We have a partnership but are not married. She does not like the terms boyfriend or girlfriend at our age.

[Tara1967]

But brandy, Doesn't the terms. "wife" come from a civil union that is made legal with the state?

[Danni Bear]

Tara,

S.O. is a term used to identify the person you live with and love. It really doesn't matter whether its a wife,husband.boyfriend or girlfriend. It is the other half of you. As a case in point my S.O. is my husband but he was my wife at one time. So now tell me how would you call him, wife or husband. I choose to use S.O. on most occasions. thats my :2c: worth.

:hugs:
Danni

[sterling12]

Does it matter? I suppose if someone used The Term, "My Wife" you could identify The Writer as 100% Heterosexual Male, but why would that be important to you? Danni has already given you a Scenario where all of your perception would get thoroughly "blown up." And there are lots of Folks who will never fit into Anyone's Picture of "Those Married Folks who need to be protected by Prop 8!"

And so, we use S.O. to signify a "Range" of situations. It might make SOME of our Christian Friends uncomfortable, but that would be a self-perceived discomfort. There are lots of "Labels" in this World that make lots of people unhappy. But, you know what? The World keeps right on spinning....it's not Germaine!

Peace and Love, Joanie

P.S. (God, I hope you know this abbreviation) Yes, there are people on here that seem to make up abbreviations that are not in common usage, and then don't bother to identify their new Abbreviation. That's impolite, but we can chock it up to a lack of "Cooth." Something as generic as S.O. or Gurl....I think your stuck with them!

[ReineD]

Some of us aren't married, we can't use "wife" or "husband". And some of our relationships are more committed than "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". "Significant Other" is a good alternative, and "Partner" is also a good term to use. Also, as a GG I find it disrespectful to refer to my boyfriend here as such, or as my husband if we were married. I try to refer to her as "she" in this forum and this pronoun doesn't go well with a male noun like husband or boyfriend. I prefer "SO" and "partner" because they are gender neutral.

It's pretty safe to assume that when a CD says "SO", she is referring to her genetic female wife or girlfriend. It is my experience that the gay and bi TGs here are quite proud of the fact they have boyfriends, so they do tend to specifically say "boyfriend", or "fiance" in their posts. :)

[Tara1967]

Tara,

S.O. is a term used to identify the person you live with and love. It really doesn't matter whether its a wife,husband.boyfriend or girlfriend. It is the other half of you. As a case in point my S.O. is my husband but he was my wife at one time. So now tell me how would you call him, wife or husband. I choose to use S.O. on most occasions. thats my :2c: worth.

:hugs:
DanniThis is exactly what I'm talking about Danni. Your case is not typycal. So you should refer to the one you are married to (legal civil union) as your SO, Because one or both of you are different today from that from which you were born. Did either one of you go down to the courthouse from which the 2 of you obtained your civil union papers and have it changed after each of you had your operations?

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In your case "SO " is significant. Danni bear and ReineD.

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Absolutley gotcha ReineD. But in such cases where (according to my original post), where it is a genetic man Married (civil union), to a genetic female, then the genetic male should refer to "her" as his wife. Then let all others outside of that call the one they love or the one they are intimate with and have some form of commitment with, be referred to as "SO". I mean would it have been ok for all of your life that your mama called your dad, (my "SO"????)

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what about the other parts of my post. The part about the difference between a CD and an RCD????

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ReineD, I beg the differ on your words that it is safe to say that when a "CD" says my "SO", that they are refering to a genetic female. Could not a CD be refering to another MTF cd and still call that person a "SO"???) Then if so , then there,,, is the confusion for which I'm speaking. I mean a "SO" could be one of many things, is it the one we show physical affection to, or the one for which we are legally bound by the laws of the land??
It is not as simple as some here try to put it. please everyone.,read my post very carefully and slowly ,,,, and try to understand where I am coming from. I saw on Jerry Spreinger one time where a man was loving a horse, would it be ok for him to refer to this horse as his "SO"?? probably so, accrording to the definitions as outlined here tonight.(according to the definitons here), I know that the majoriy out of the usual norm call the one they make physical love to, their "SO", but I have seen many a genetic female that is legally married to a genitic male take some offense when He (genitic male) refers of her to others as his better half, or my "old lady". I think that everytime if I were to introduce me wife(genetic female) as my "SO", I think she would take somewhat of an offense to it. I think I would take some form of offense if she said, hey friend, this is my "SO". I feel that "SO" should be anywhere outside of the normal realm. It is not as simple as each of you say that it is.

[Danni Bear]

Tara,
We are getting remarried the 13th of this month. The certificate will show us as the gender we now are.

Love
Danni

[Joanne f]

SO is just a term which covers everyone who is not a wife, but it respects the fact that you have someone else in your life who you are close to and like to share things with which is just easier than trying to guess what type of relationship someone is in as not to offend them , and you do not necessarily have to be in a relationship to have a "significant other" as in some case`s it could be a close family member , as long as you remember never to put " The wife " as we had a long thread running about that one once :D::heehee:

[Tara1967]

Tara,
We are getting remarried the 13th of this month. The certificate will show us as the gender we now are.

Love
DanniDanni Bear, lovingly and respectfully speaking that in your rare case, the"SO" is appropriate.


SO is just a term which covers everyone who is not a wife, but it respects the fact that you have someone else in your life who you are close to and like to share things with which is just easier than trying to guess what type of relationship someone is in as not to offended.

Thanks Joanne, look at your words, you hit my point dead on the head. "SO" is just terms which covers who is not "A WIFE" You (with your words here are showing the difference for which I'm speaking ).That's my point. Let us use the terms my "wife" when we are a gentic male (legally married) by the state, to a genetic female. And that anything outside of that be refered to hereinafter as "SO". (love&respect) Tara

[ReineD]

Sorry Tara, but it's you against ... let me check ... 36,000 members (of which 7,500 are active), in favor of using SO. It is the simplest term, since it covers any and all situations. :)

Some people aren't legally married, but they live together and don't give 2 hoots about the marriage license. So if they don't care, why should you?

In terms of most CDs being heterosexual and being in (or seeking) relationships with genetic women, whether they are married or not, just do the research.

As to RCD, I've never heard of the term. But after you're here for awhile, you'll see new acronyms pop up everyday. Besides, RCD doesn't have anything to do with describing a relationship with someone.

Also, have a look at this thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?76117-What-Are-All-Those-Abbreviations). I hope it helps. Eventually you'll become an old hat at using all these acronyms, just like the rest of us. :)

:hugs:

EDIT But I should mention that of course you can use "my wife" in all of your posts. Lots of CDs do. Just give others the freedom to use the terms that they prefer.

[Tara1967]

so reineD you are a "SO" and you have an "SO" and that person, regardless of your "SO"s gender, it doesn't offend you if your "SO' refers to you as their "SO?" And just like joanes post axpalining that "SO" is "a term which covers anyone who is not a wife". I'm ok with that. So according to the terms outlined here over the years, then it's ok for me to refer to (the person (genetic female), for which I am legally and lawfully bound),to as my wife? or I can use either/or wife or SO??

And also so you accroding to your post to me , you say it's me againsts 36,000, that I am wrong??

And like Litakelly's last thread, when "HE" refers to his "wife" came in and saw "HIM" looking at a youtube vid,,,,,, What or who am I to assume according to "HIS" thread the "sex"(legal or not) the person for which "HE" describes as "my wife"???

[Tamara Croft]

But can we(MTF), CD's refer to our (gentic females) with a civil union contract from the states that are legal, just simply refer to "HER" as my wife"?Can I just point out something you've completely missed in your thread? This forum isn't all about the States, I am from the UK and so are some of the staff and a hell of a lot of the members here. They are also from various countries, not just the States. As for your post, I find it totally out of order, what gives you the right to tell people off for calling their partners etc their SO? I refer to my partner as my SO because we are not married, he is male and I think referring to her as my husband or male partner when she is a MTF CD is just rude. You can refer to your wife as your wife as you wish, but don't tell everyone else how wrong they are by your standards.

[Danni Bear]

Thank you very much Tamara
Danni

[Tara1967]

In terms of most CDs being heterosexual and being in (or seeking) relationships with genetic women, whether they are married or not, just do the research.

Does this line really make sense?

[ReineD]

This thread has stopped being productive. I'm closing it now.

Doing the research means just that ... go online, buy books, read the threads here, read published research on the topic. Educate yourself before turning everything into a debate.