mom and makeup...

[Asako]

Both my parents know that I'm trans. I've just started extending my wardrobe and I definitely want to pass as well as possible. Obviously, makeup comes into this. Mom is ok with me being trans but it's a little akward between us. So...how exactly can one approach their mother and ask her for makeup expertise and a shopping trip? >.>

The reasons why I'd like my mom to help is simple. Most people in this tiny little town I live in are of a fairly narrow mind. Yes, I live in one of "that" kind of town so having her with me would be somewhat of a "security blanket" effect. I also suspect she knows that the packages I've gotten from Amazon and JC Penny are of female use because lets face it: My mother is VERY observant!

[AKAMichelle]

Yes she probably knows. The issue with small towns is that she might even feel better taking you to a bigger city to get the help you need. maybe you should just ask her for the help.

[gretchen2]

That's not a bad idea, mabye I'll ask my mom too.

[neworleanssusan]

1. How old are you?
2. How close is the nearest major city (with a Target, for example)?
3. Do you drive?

Seriously, if Mom is accepting, but not participating, then asking her to shop for makeup for her trans-child in your small town may be every bit as uncomfortable for HER as it is for YOU. Solution -- tell Mom you're thinking about going to XYZ City for a shopping trip, and ask her if she'd come along for help/advise.

[Tina B.]

And if momma doesn't want to go shopping with you, had you can't get out of town to a place where you can shop, then everything you need can be had on line.
Make up company web sites have great how to videos, style sites such as yahoo shine, give great fashion tips for dressing certain size body shapes, and how to put outfits together. And department store sites will sell you everything you need. Sometimes you have to go it alone, but you can't let that stop you from what you need.
Tina B.

[lynn27]

my question to you would be, have you ever taken your mom out shopping?

if not, why don't you start off taking her on a girls' day out shopping trip with the focus on her needs. don't make the shopping trip all about you. talk about clothes she likes, talk about how things look on her... maybe after a couple of shopping trips like that she'll return the favor. after a while she might get use to having a daughter....


Both my parents know that I'm trans. I've just started extending my wardrobe and I definitely want to pass as well as possible. Obviously, makeup comes into this. Mom is ok with me being trans but it's a little akward between us. So...how exactly can one approach their mother and ask her for makeup expertise and a shopping trip? >.>

The reasons why I'd like my mom to help is simple. Most people in this tiny little town I live in are of a fairly narrow mind. Yes, I live in one of "that" kind of town so having her with me would be somewhat of a "security blanket" effect. I also suspect she knows that the packages I've gotten from Amazon and JC Penny are of female use because lets face it: My mother is VERY observant!

[Sarah Doepner]

my question to you would be, have you ever taken your mom out shopping?

if not, why don't you start off taking her on a girls' day out shopping trip with the focus on her needs. don't make the shopping trip all about you. talk about clothes she likes, talk about how things look on her... maybe after a couple of shopping trips like that she'll return the favor. after a while she might get use to having a daughter....

I believe Lynn has hit on the best suggestion. Even if you don't get your shopping done, you have some very special time with your mother that could be a favorite memory years from now for both of you.

[lynn27]

thank you Sarah, i think we all sometimes forget the burden we impose on our loved ones. i always try to put my wife ahead of Lynn. She didn't invite this third person into our marriage and it is only right for me to acknowledge the acceptance Lynn has gotten from my wife.

[Asako]

1. How old are you?
2. How close is the nearest major city (with a Target, for example)?
3. Do you drive?

1.24 and living at home.
2.About an hour away but this little town does have a Wal-mart...much to my surprise.
3.Nope. I didn't care to try learning to drive in a much larger town with 50k+ people that'd run me over in a heart beat if I made any driving mistakes. Working on it though. *glances at her SELF-PAID OFF car outside and smiles* ^.^



Seriously, if Mom is accepting, but not participating, then asking her to shop for makeup for her trans-child in your small town may be every bit as uncomfortable for HER as it is for YOU. Solution -- tell Mom you're thinking about going to XYZ City for a shopping trip, and ask her if she'd come along for help/advise.
It's not so much uncomfortable for me to do so in this tiny little town we live in. Even for an open minded parent, I think she has a bit of trouble accepting it which makes her feel akward when it comes up. I feel this akwardness in the air and that, in turn, makes me feel akward. Heck, she already knows which shaving cream I prefer for my legs. Remember those shipments I mentioned? Despite being from two of her favorite places, she hasn't asked me at all what they were and I had even told her they were coming.


@lynn:
I've gone shopping with her once in a while but both of us were mainly just looking at clothes and prices to see if some store had a killer deal like the "buy 1 get the 2nd for a $1" at Bealls(or however it's spelled) that convinced me to spend $300 on shirts and jeans. I've shopped with her for shampoo and conditioner that would help my hair stay moisturized since I work in a bloody hot pizza kitchen for hours at a time. That same trip also led to me getting my own shaving cream for my legs. >.> So, yea I've gone shopping a few times with her and even though it was a little akward to speak up, I'm glad I did. To me and her, they were just regular shopping trips.

[bethw]

I'd listen to Lynn. There's excellent advice there. If I can hep please let me know.
Hugs
Beth