my weekend with a fellow CD

[briefing0007]

This weekend I met up with a fellow CD at a hotel about an hour from my home. We had been chatting online for about 3 months and I had mentioned to him that I had only gone out in public a few times at night because I didn't feel comfortable with my appearance. As a more experienced CD, he offered to help me with my look.

We met in the hotel lobby, both dressed as men, and went to lunch. We had great conversation and have a lot in common. I was so nervous and had quite a few drinks to help calm my nerves:drink:. After lunch, we went up to our adjoining rooms and he asked me to show him my best look. It took me almost an hour to get into my panties, tight jeans, bra, and spandex top and do my makeup (really tough to do with shaking hands). I knocked on the adjoining door to show him what I had done. He was very kind and had lots of tips, including redoing all of my makeup and showing me my bra size was way off. He also had me take off my jeans and try a skirt to show off my "sexy legs". It was a little strange with me in my bra and panties having a man (he hadn't dressed yet) touch all parts of my body.

After my makeover, he had me watch him make his transition so I could learn more. Let me say that he went from an ordinary looking man to a beautiful woman. For the next five hours, we both went out dressed as women and he helped me pick out $919 worth of lingerie, skirts, pants, blouses and shoes which made me look so much more feminine.

We finished the night off with a great dinner and then drinks at a gay friendly piano bar before returning to the hotel. We talked some more in his room before saying good night. We hugged, but as I was heading to my door, it felt as though someting was missing from the evening. As I got back to my room, I realized that I really had a "crush" on this guy. Now I am 100% straight, but I lay in bed and longed to kiss him goodnight and would have gladly jumped into bed with him if he was still made up as a woman.

Have any others felt this way? It was really a strange day because for a part of it I was dressed as a woman and he was "touching" me while still dressed as a man. Then later I was sexually excited to be out in public dressed as a woman and really shopping. And later in the evening I think I became attracted to him as a real woman.

We had a great breakfast yesterday morning and have planned to do this again in the near future, but I am worried about my feelings toward him. Can I be straight and attracted to a CD?

[Phyliss]

Be very very careful and sure of your next move. THINK with the head on your shoulders.

[Tina B.]

Phyliss, is right, draw a deep breath, back away from that big Pink fog bank your headed toward. Finely getting to get out with another CD, that has shown you so much care and attention, has you spinning. You have to figure out just how important the, But I'm straight, line is to you. You need to separate your fantasy of being treated as a women, and your perceived notion's of your own sexuality. And then did she do anything to make you think she might have more than a Platonic relationship in mind? He touched you while you where wearing panties and bra, is not necessarily a come on, if he was thinking woman to woman, after all not all of us wait until we are changed, for our female attitudes to be present. And unless you can go into it with an open mind, as to whether you are Straight, BI, or Gay, you could find yourself miserable, with guilt, or at best totally embarrassed. Or who knows, if your open to it, you could find a sole mate.
Tina B.

[sandra-leigh]

To put it bluntly, No, you cannot be "straight" and attracted to a CD'er. You can, though, be "straight" and attracted to a fantasy.

I think you were probably overcome with a rush of emotion, and I think you probably would have regretted if anything had happened.

In the meantime, you have hit upon the CD'ers dilemma: "OMG, what if I'm not straight?!" Such thoughts can end up pre-occupying your mind until eventually you end up wanting an encounter just to settle the matter -- because how do you know you aren't gay or bi until you've tried it?

I myself did not end up caught up in that dilemma because I had no pre-occupation with being "straight": I simply was straight and I knew it and there wasn't any more point in thinking about it than there was point in thinking about why I like the colour brown.


I think you have an important issue to deal with now, though: you have a long-term girlfriend. If you would gladly have jumped in to bed with the CD'er, then you need to reflect on your priorities and loyalties. Would you have taken home an STD to your girlfriend?

[Jason+]

Be very very careful and sure of your next move. THINK with the head on your shoulders.

Being accepted by someone at all especially if you have been through a long time of not having someone who does is a very powerfully attractive thing, perhaps enough to make you overlook the source of the attraction. If you find that it is him/her that you really are attracted to then go for it safely at both your comfort levels.

[Mikaela]

To put it bluntly, No, you cannot be "straight" and attracted to a CD'er. You can, though, be "straight" and attracted to a fantasy.

Sure you can. Men are sexually invigorated by what they see. If the neurons firing are telling you that what you see is a woman, then your primitive brain functions and neurochemistry are telling you that it's mating time. Love is just a chemical condition, after all.

What you do when the illusion is broken is where your gender preference becomes a little more clear, and things aren't so binary, especially in our world.

Otherwise, I agree. The pink fog can make us do things and a first time is an overwhelming experience and if you're in a relationship, make sure it's a priority or it's a waste of time and energy.

[JenniferB]

Now I am 100% straight, but I lay in bed and longed to kiss him goodnight and would have gladly jumped into bed with him if he was still made up as a woman.

You may need to re-think your position. Your emotions say that you are definitely not 100% straight (not that there's anything wrong with that). I've seen photos of "girls" on this forum that I wouldn't hesitate to jump into bed with.

[Barbara Dugan]

If you are single or unattached There is nothing wrong being attracted to another CD if you are sure of your feelings. Like other ladies said before its better to think it more and make sure its what you really want:hugs:

[sandra-leigh]

If you are single or unattached There is nothing wrong being attracted to another CD if you are sure of your feelings.

Ashley joined about a year ago and has consistently indicated that she is in a long term relationship (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?113406-hello-all) with her girlfriend.

[Barbara Dugan]

Ashley joined about a year ago and has consistently indicated that she is in a long term relationship (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?113406-hello-all) with her girlfriend.


Then Ashley has a more complex issue to deal with:idontknow:

[Joyously 27]

You do realize that the CD weekender probably subscribes to this group. You've written enough for him/her to know your feelings.

[AKAMichelle]

It is probably best that nothing happened. Taking things further may cost you the friendship that you have with him. Think long and hard before you do anything else with him.

[sandra-leigh]

It is probably best that nothing happened. Taking things further may cost you the friendship that you have with him.

Then there are trust issues.

If the other person had no inclination that way but you had made a move, then they could have ended up turned off of helping other people
If the other person had made a move and you decided later you hadn't enjoyed it, then you would probably be suspicious about going out with other CD's, concerned that they were going to make moves on you too
If the other person had made a move and you enjoyed it, you might have come to expect attraction from other CD's that you go out with, and perhaps even get angry at them if they were not interested in you that way.
If word had gotten around, then other CD's who were not interested (or didn't want to be tempted) who heard it would not have wanted to go out with you, but "admirers" might start pursuing you.


And that's not even including the trust issues that would come up with your girlfriend.

["Mary"]

Changing the focus of these replies a bit...
I can't believe you did that with that other person,
$919??? wow- Talk about a shopping spree!

[Chickhe]

okay... so some CDers are nuts (spending spreee. wow)! :0-) I just wonder, maybe it is the attention you got that is reminding you of how only a close woman would have helped you...scratchhhh! you should have been thinking this person helped you out just like your mother did when you were a kid. There, did that fix it?

[EllieOPKS]

Personally, If I were in your shoes I would in no way jeopardize a new found friendship. You have found someone that can share and help you with your CDing. This was your first time encounter with her and it sounds like it was quite successful. Maybe you should let your CD relationship develop first.

[KarenCDFL]

You can also look at it as you are a human being attracted to another human being and forget all of the labels of gay, straight etc.

Life is short, do what feels good as long as you are not hurting others. You also had no idea if the attraction was reciprocated so it just may turn out as a wonderful fantasy.

[Lorileah]

gay or straight issue aside you have a hero complex. You are enamored with your new friend and there is just enough (straight) guy there to start you thinking that sex is the answer and how you show your ...appreciation...

As to if you are gay or straight, that would have to be answered when you both were undressed and acted on the impulse/ Somehow I think there would have been some screaming and running long before you two got to that stage

[Maryesther M.]

Depends on your own personal circumstances. From your story I gather you are unattached, probably have no one to support and have a large disposable income.

As another contributor has said, he would happily jump into bed with many successful CD-ers on this forum, judging by their pictures. However, when in close company with the real thing...I mean a very successful CD-er who presents as a very attractive woman, the chemistry can indeed begin to bubble up. You said you first encountered him as a man, who touched you while you dressed under his instruction....makes me think that perhaps HE is actually gay, and using that meeting to lead you into such a relationship with him.

It is of course entirely your own decision whether to meet him again and allow the relationship to 'progress'.....provided you ARE unattached.

[sandra-leigh]

From your story I gather you are unattached

I really don't mean to push the point, but some people have overlooked it from one of my earlier responses: Ashley is in a long term relationship with a GG who knows at least something about Ashley's dressing.

For some people the right thing to do is to get out of the relationship in order to be able to have the space to do what they need to do.

For other people, the right thing to do is to talk about it with their partner and find that their partner does not mind or is willing to bargin... but the price of the bargin might get rather high.

For other people, the right thing to do is to regain self-control and think hard about their loyalties and about consequences.


For evidence of the relationship, see any of the following, or just read the title of one of the more recent of them, "While my girlfriend was out"

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?113406-hello-all
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?113408-i-need-some-help
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?114769-my-first-time-out
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?115144-dressing-in-her-clothes
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?116599-While-my-girlfriend-was-out...
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?122242-Thanks-for-your-support