How would you handle meeting someone you know at a CD club?

[Jay Cee]

I'm seriously thinking about joining a local CD club, and about the only downside I could see to it is running into someone I know or work with who is also a member.

We'd both be on even footing then, but it would be the day after, in a 'normal' environment, that I might find awkward. Anyone here run into that issue?

[RADER]

Like you said, You both would be on level ground. At work or other chance meeting, Just ACT normal unless the
other person wants to be more friendly; than a pre-meet or talk would be in order. Rader

[tanyalynn51]

I too would love to hear the answers, except that I work with people that I cant afford to have see me right now. I just found a group near me for TG people, but if any of the people are ones I have encountered in working with the homeless, I could be seriously compromised.

[sandra-leigh]

I've been with a group for 5 1/2 years, and I have gone out in public in obvious femme mode more times than I can count. I have yet to find out that anyone I had met "before" is a cross-dresser.

On the other hand, it wouldn't be a big deal for me. If someone were to try to make a fuss about it at work, my work would tell them that what I did in my spare time was not relevant as long as it didn't increase security risks and wasn't political.

[Kate Simmons]

Say "Hello", what else?:)

[BRANDYJ]

It would be a pleasant surprise. Let's face it, they have as much to loose or hide as you do. It sure would make you even closer as friends or co-workers.
Think about it, would you out someone that you met at a club? In the end, you would be outing yourself.

[kimdl93]

I would think that would be the perfect way to find out that an acquaintance was a fellow traveler. Of course, you'd both be surprised, probably share a laugh, and then start sharing make up tips.

[sterling12]

Over time, when you join A Club, there's a lot of sharing going on. You will get to know The Other Person's Story, and they will get to know yours. You will know where they work, they will know where you work, you will get to know just about everything about them. It just seems to work out that Way. I think it's called becoming "Friends."

There's One, Huge, Cardinal Rule: "No matter what....you will not "Out" or compromise another Sister!" Period!! No ifs, ands, buts, or maybes! Doesn't matter if they are your neighbor, work with you, are on The Same Bowling Team, your worst enemy; it's all The Same.

So, even if you did meet someone from your Workplace, it would probably be "played out" as if you two were never at That Meeting. After a time, there might be a few quiet words exchanged at Work, "Going to be at The Meeting Saturday?" Something like that, but you have The Right to expect Discretion, just like they have The Right to expect it from you.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Debb]

I am sad to report that in my case, it hasn't gone well.

I recently found out that one of the people I knew in an IT shop at a previous job, a person I felt was a friend, is in the same transgender club that I recently joined. She is a transsexual, which was a bit of a surprise ... as far as I knew, she was "gay". I guess that if I was really a friend, I would have known more about her than that, and for that I am ashamed.

I would absolutely LOVE to be able to talk with her about this. I have emailed her, trying to apologize for "jokes" back when I knew her as a "him"... "he" had been in the Navy, you see, and it's a particularly mean stereotype we military folks like to joke about.

I am quite saddened to think about it, because she is avoiding me, and I'm not quite sure why ... yes, I was a jacka** ... I am glad she found herself, and is living as the woman she is, and as I have the same kind of feelings, it'd be nice to talk to someone I knew, but it's not going to happen.

[Melanie R]

In 29 years of attending Tri-Ess meetings, I have never met a CD who I knew from my guy life. I do remember a wonderful CD who tells this story. She was doing a screening of a new prospective member of her Tri-Ess chapter. When this new prospective member walked in both fell to the ground in panic. It turns out the new member was her lifelong friend. Their wives were also life long friends. They were very involved in their family lives together. They coached Little League together. Vicky did join the chapter and their friendship has never been closer. Shortly after their interview meeting both of them with their wives joined a group of Houston Tri-Ess members at a Halloween party at one of Houston's premier hotels. The wives were very accepting and supportive. It is hard to believe that this happened over 18 years ago.

[AKAMichelle]

Consider that it is just like an office romance. Act normal and go about your business.

[nvlady]

It was not at a club or meeting or get-together or whatever, but I found out about someone and he found out about me at the same time. When I saw him a few days later (both in drab, we never did see each other in drag), he said hi Sam and I said hi Bill. We were simply two people that knew each other on a first name basis.

[Leslie Langford]

Well, whatever you do, I wouldn't necessarily recommend that you follow Groucho Marx's advice, who once famously quipped that he would never join any club that would have him as a member :doh:...

[Danni Bear]

What would you do if you met them at any other club or venue. It doesn't change you or them.

Danni

[Andy66]

I've never run into anyone at a CD function, but I have run into a few people I knew at gay bars. It was great because we found we had something special in common, and we became closer friends. :)

[AllieSF]

As Michelle said it is very similar to an office romance. Some of those work out even if they last only a short period of time, and some do not. I believe there is a low risk of meeting someone that you know and even more remote someone who you work with. However, that does not make the risk and subsequent potential negative consequences from happening when that low risk becomes a reality. I met a girl at a wonderful TG group in a nearby large town. Turns out I know her boss who also is a CD and who I took out on one of her first outings. It truly is a smaller world than we think sometimes! You just need to evaluate the risks and consequences as they might apply to you.

[Fab Karen]

I am sad to report that in my case, it hasn't gone well.


I am quite saddened to think about it, because she is avoiding me, and I'm not quite sure why ... yes, I was a jacka** ... I am glad she found herself, and is living as the woman she is, and as I have the same kind of feelings, it'd be nice to talk to someone I knew, but it's not going to happen.
You were a jacka** to this person & wonder why she wants nothing to do with you? HELLO.

[noeleena]

Hi .

This will depend on how well you are known & if the posibility for one to be outed . comes to mind.
my advise is & has been i hear all see all may know to much so keep my mouth shut at all times . as said how much is known about this person & what could happen if its known what they are doing.
Im to well known & i know to much about people wether they are cd s ts or gays . i have women friends who are lesbain as well , & i have been asked for info , on those i know, i said that info stays with me, end of .

Its a hard call some times even if your in the same club / group . what ever. & as said work is one thing out side of that is another unless they say thier info is for public use.

Be very carefull as you dont really know this person, id suggest you leave well alone & dont persue the matter, a tough call yes in the long run may be the best,

...noeleena...

[nikkijo]

id be more supprised to find someone i know who dosent know i wear girls clothes.... honestly nobody cares.....

[Loni]

lets see, you are a cross dresser.
he/she is a cross dresser.
both at a cross dresser function, no problem.
both at work the next day/week, no problem.

why would they "tell" on you?
would you "tell" on them?

just say "hi" hows your day. and get on with life.

.

[Tranny Tee]

At Costco I ran into a person I have met in both male and female peersonna, she had only seen me as Vanessa. We talked a bit while she tried to picture me as a female then recognised me. As we were near a lady giving food samples my friend had to explain to her that we were crossdressers and that she had never before met my male side.
While I was mildly embarrassed it was of little concern to me that I had been outed to a complete stranger.

This may not be the best way to meet another girl.

[ReineD]

You should try to look at it differently. Instead of feeling awkward, you might instead develop a good friendship and you might potentially have someone to go on outings with. :)

[Debb]

You were a jacka** to this person & wonder why she wants nothing to do with you? HELLO.

It isn't shown in the quote, but the fact is ... I behaved like a jacka** IN RETROSPECT. As in, guys talk like that all the time, but had I realized "he" was a she, I would have felt like a jacka**.

I know, I know, I am apparently not blessed with the sensitivity that others appear to have, and that bums me out. I don't see the need to call me out for behaving badly when I admit to it, though, I already felt plenty bad about it. Thanks Karen.