A bit confused with things...

[Teko2010]

Hey

Basically, I'm trying to figure out what CD'ing is for me at the moment. I'm 19 years old and for me, it's mainly a 'sexual' thing right now, as seeing women in lingerie/tights/stockings etc is 'exciting' (easiest way to put it, lol). But ever since I was young I remember being intrigued by tights and in my teens stockings became part of that aswell and then the rest (lingerie, heels etc.), I have never dressed fully, only underwear, but I feel like it's more a case of putting the stuff on, 'enjoying myself' and then after that, all of the feelings about wanting to wear womens clothing are just completely gone and I want to get back to whatever I was doing, and the clothes come off quickly and thats that.

I don't really know what it is I'm dealing with, because it's more a case of me wanting to dress up fully, but dressing up fully won't work 'properly' if I'm 'excited', it's basically that 'excitement' driving the urge to want to dress up but once that is gone that urge is no longer there/relevant. Also, I don't have a female name for myself because it's not really 'evolved' that far for me, up to now anyway.

Just wanted to get a few opinions/responses I guess.

[KandisTX]

From what you have stated, it would appear to ME, that you are currently experiencing a fetish with woman's undergarments. While, for some of us it started out that way and steadily progressed to dressing up fully, wearing make-up, shaving legs, etc.. some just continue to be "panty lovers".

[CallMeMeg]

It used to be that way for me. I think it almost always has a sexual component ~ that's what makes us keep coming back!

And I bet if you, um, relieve the excitement, the urge to dress goes away. So it's a catch-22.

My answer: tight panties and loose skirts.

[Jaydee]

Teko,
First welcome to the community. Don't worry about the sexual aspects of your CDing, as any our more senior members can tell you, many of us began the same way. For many of us there was a period in our younger lives where "excitement" and "release" played a mayor part in our CDing, and maybe that was enough at the time. This isn't a contest afterall. I think that what you will find over time is that the sexual need now will eventually diminish and be replaced with a calming and centering feeling. Neither is better or worse, I think it is just another stage of life. Based on our experience, most of us believe that the CDing urges will never go away. The best we can do is adapt and accept. Welcome again.

Jaydee

[sandra-leigh]

What you describe is pretty typical. What is also pretty typical is that you will get "acclimatized" to wearing those things and it will take longer and longer wearing them, or wearing them more and more daringly (e.g., wearing panties out to the mall) -- time during which you feel good but aren't ready yet to "release". And it is pretty common to evolve from that into a situation where you'll take the "excitement" if you get it but you just feel good dressing.

Myself, I realized that thinking about dressing got me excited, imagining myself going out dressed shopping or to a club or whatever, but that actually doing the dressing just made me feel good, calm, happier, more extroverted. That's not the way it is for everyone, but that's how it evolved for me.

[docrobbysherry]

Now it's up to U, Teko!:)

Explore life, your sexuality, and grow into the; man, woman, or BOTH! That u r meant to be!:thumbsup:

Then, come back here and tell us ALL ABOUT IT!:D

[Rachel Morley]

I wouldn't worry about a thing. What you have described is very normal for "fledgling crossdressers" and many if us (me included) had a strong sexual involvement in the beginning, and definitely so at 19 years old. You might one day find that you have a desire to dress up that is not driven by sexual release and that you just like wearing the clothes because it makes you feel sexy but not so much that you want to "enjoy yourself". Will you end up dressing fully and be doing your best to look female? .... who knows, but take it from me if one day you do, you'll get just as much out of it, but it'll be perhaps on a different type of wavelength.

[Christy_M]

It didn't start out swxually for me since at 8, I didn't know what that was. During puberty and into my twenties, there was a huge sexual component to it for me. After I relieved myself either by myself or with my first wife, the guilt took over and I had to get out of the clothes. If this is truly a fetish, it won't ever grow into anything else. If you ever feel a "need" to take it further then you'll know it is more. Listen to yourself and don't over analyze what you feel. It is what it is and you will find a lot of advice here to help you work through any questions that may come up.

[Sedona]

Teko,

I can't add anything that's already been said. Good luck, you'll figure out what's right for you along the road. Maybe your CDing life evolves, maybe it's just a fad as a young person. Find your own way, be true to yourself, and seek consultation you trust as your dating life evolves through your 20s.

[sandra-leigh]

Maybe your CDing life evolves, maybe it's just a fad as a young person.

If it does go away for you, don't worry about it. On the other hand, do be aware that it is not uncommon for teenage crossdressing of the type you describe to fade away only to show up in someone's 40's or early 50's, stronger than ever and no longer just about the "excitement". Happened to me.

[hayley_babe]

this sounds rather similar to my story too...it was something that was rather sexual for me in my late teens, it disappeared in my early 20s somewhat as i got busier and busier with life but now heading into my late 20s it has reappeared again and there is a lot less of a sexual component to it and more of a relaxing, calming and feel good factor about it...i also just enjoyed the underwear side but now i have a desire to dress more and in more...

i would just say take it for what it is, do what you feel makes you happy and if for now that is the sexual side, then go for it...if in time it develops into something more then you will have time to embrace it then but dont worry too much about what the future holds...it will happen when it does...

[Tina B.]

It was a long time ago since I was your age, but as I remember it, I started out very young, dressing before sexuality was even a thought to me. But when I reached my teen years it was all about sexual excitement, dressing didn't last long, and guilt and wanting all that girl stuff off as fast as possible. I'm not sure why anymore, other boys where using their dads mens magazine, (no playboy yet) or what ever, for the same reasons, so why is our way so much worst? But then after marriage the desire to dress came back strong, and I no longer wanted to get it done and change back, I wanted to stay that way for as long as I could, and a I have aged I now dress for days, even at times for a week or two, and never need to find that thrill, or the guilt or the rush to get back to guy stuff, I go back to guy mode as needed to get what I need to get done, done. other than that I prefer to stay dressed. Now you on the other hand, may go down such a path, or maybe you have found all you want or need already, that's the fun of being your age, you have a life time to figure it all out, and you wii figure it out, because you have so many resources at your finger tips. In the mean time don't stress about it, it will be what it will be, just learn to enjoy, and keep telling yourself, there is nothing to feel guilty about, your just doing what comes natural.(at least it's natural for us)
Tina B.

[Shadeauxmarie]

Crossdress is defined in the dictionary as "the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex." It is not relevent what do WHILE crossdressed. That is totally up to you.

I have crossdressed for over forty years and for me personally it has been primarily a sexual thing. By myself or with others. The rest of the time, it is a sexual thing.:heehee:

[Rachel05]

Actually it is an interesting thought because I am trying to figure out now when I slipped from the sexual bit into the just plain loving to dress a s woman and be comfortable with it and totally embrace it, which is where I am now and able to admit to myself what I am and that is a cross dresser

I wonder if back in them early days that I subconsciously used the sexual side to make it okay in my brain in that I was doing it for sexual gratification so it was okay rather than for pure cross dressing which sort of wasn't okay back then because it was "strange" god I don't know, all I know is I am so pleased that I do it now because I love to do it and enjoy it so much more than I used to do back then