Have any of you went to a christian counsler?

[MichelleW126]

Just curious what they told you about your dressing?

[Kathi Lake]

Michelle, I have to ask - why are you curious? Do you feel what you do is a sin? Do you feel it's wrong? We actually have an area here for discussions of this type. Apply and we'll be glad to work through your issues with you. From one Christian crossdresser to another, I'm here for you.

:)

Kathi

[JenniferR771]

He tried, but I remember him saying, "The wages of sin is DEATH!" And, "How come you were wearing lipstick when you wife came home last week?"
Replied, "Because I am a crossdresser."
Wife and I were not speaking when we left.

[Alice Torn]

No I haven't been to one about dressing. But, i have councelled with ministers in the past, about other issues. Some would be very down on it, and tell you to stop/ Others may consider all of your background, and heredity, and experiences, and be less intolerant. It all depends on that counselor. I am very cautious about who i would talk to about dressing issues. Most probably won't really know much about it.

[Jason+]

If you count taking council from my father and LDS as christian then yes I have. We talked about the fact that whether or not I can wear a dress to Sunday meetings wasn't even a small one among the fish I had to fry with the church and that it was pretty obvious that I wouldn't be welcome at sacrament that way. I asked him what the church's position was on the matter otherwise and he told me it's a grey area that's not really defined.

[Christinedreamer]

I have actually handed a Bible to a couple preachers and said "I will wait while you find any passage quoting Jesus where he said anything at all about dressing or homosexuality. You find one and I will stop dressing. BTW, Good luck."

[Beth-Lock]

I went to the Minister of my church, and she was very supportive. When I mentioned my cross-dressing to her, I did not realize that she already knew, as someone else had aleady told her about me. So the whole thing was no big deal.

[t-girlxsophie]

when I was in my twenties my Mother put me in touch with a Presbyterian Counsellor in order to "cure" me
Now the fact I am a lapsed Catholic,and that I never felt I needed to be cured,I thought I was on to a loser
and so It proved,Nothing he could say to me was going to change me,he felt I was sinning and nothing I could say
to him was getting through,a complete waste of time.

[Jonianne]

I went to a Christian counselor who was part of a Christian psychology group (they were all either Phd's or LCSW's working on it toward being Psychologists, not just social workers). I found them to be very professional, not using religion as a means of imposing their beliefs on me or their other clients. When I finally got the courage and mananged to share the fact that I was a crossdresser to my counselor, he was neither condeming or harsh is any way. In fact, at one point I was considering purging and he recommended that I not do that. He never encouraged me or discouraged me or tried to get me to stop, the only thing we worked on was him letting me talk about it and I worked on getting past the shame and guilt. What I spent 90% of my time was on acheiving a strong sense of self and learning how to be in relationship with others.

I spent over 2 years with him in individual and another 5 in group therapy with him and another female Psychologist in group therapy. I dressed in group (first time in simi-public ever!) and it was no big deal. Again we spent most of our time learning how to have a strong sense of self and how to be in relationship with others.

Therapy probably saved my life and has brought me from a fearful "black and white" fundamentalist person who had no idea how to relate to others on any deeper level, to where I feel so much better about myself and am able to relate to others in a much more meaningful way. Learning to be OK with myself and learning to be OK with others, learning how to set boundries when needed, and how to have empathy for others.

It was the most life changing experience I have ever had and to have come to self acceptance was worth every single minute of hard work getting there.

[Stephenie S]

I have said this before. The term Christianity means one who believes in the teachings of Jesus Christ. That's a simple fact. Read and study the words of Jesus Christ. You will find he said NOTHING about crossdressing. You will find he said an awful lot about love and acceptance. Various RELIGIONS, organized by homophobic and misogynistic MEN have taken positions against crossdressing. Clearly they have other agendas than Jesus Christ did.

Stephie

[AKAMichelle]

It doesn't really matter about them being a Christian or not. Their personal beliefs will determine how the 2 of you interact. Some counselors can't get past their own perceptions and those won't be very good at helping you.

[JenniferR771]

And my second Christian counselor, convinced me to come clean to my wife, show her my dress stash and then to purge my stuff.
He recommended this book at the local library.
http://www.amazon.com/Out-Shadows-Understanding-Sexual-Addiction/dp/1568386214

[Billijo49504]

I'm now going to a councilor from Pine Rest Christian North West Clinic. And today is the day I've got my hormone letter. That's with his supervisor's approval and she signed it too.

Jennifer771 you don't have a sexual addiction, you're just addicted to looking cute. But I agree with 2 out of the 4 things he suggested. Come clean and show her your stash. Stop there. Purging is not a good choice for anyone. And that book, unreal!!! I haven't known you for very long, but I know you better than he did, to suggest that book. Maybe your wife slipped him a tip to take her side....BJ

[Jodygurl]

I have said this before. The term Christianity means one who believes in the teachings of Jesus Christ. That's a simple fact. Read and study the words of Jesus Christ. You will find he said NOTHING about crossdressing. You will find he said an awful lot about love and acceptance. Various RELIGIONS, organized by homophobic and misogynistic MEN have taken positions against crossdressing. Clearly they have other agendas than Jesus Christ did.

Stephie
My feelings exactly. Thank you, Stephie.

[Stephenie S]

Christian counselor

And my second Christian counselor, convinced me to come clean to my wife, show her my dress stash and then to purge my stuff.
He recommended this book at the local library.
http://www.amazon.com/Out-Shadows-Un.../dp/1568386214

Ok, and since when does SEXUAL ADDICTION have ANYTHING at all to do with crossdressing? I hope you didn't PAY this guy.

Stephie

[tanyalynn51]

I guess the main difference here is whether people have been to see "Evangelical" Christian Counselors. Although they are the first people at times to claim spiritual abuse is going on in the Churches, a lot of them are using their power to do the same thing. I have been to one I wouldnt let council my cat, and another, although she would call herself an evangelical, I would definitely go back except that we live in different states.

[Alice Torn]

Deut 22:5 says it is abomination for women to wear that which pertains to a man, and also is, for a man to wear that which pertains to a woman. Many churches, including the church of God, I was called into, go by that. However, I have told several members, that I cd. Other than this issue, I really believe the message, of the coming kingdom of God, to rid this earth of war, vioence, and evil. I certainly don't want many people to know about Louise! There is ALWAYS something about any church, club, or any organization, that we will have a problem or disagreement with, including politicians, and churches, and counselors. We all have to stand before our Creator, whatever we understand that force, or person as. GROUP THINK STINKS! We must be careful who we admit our cding to, that's for sure.

[dorylinn]

Deut 22:5 says it is abomination for women to wear that which pertains to a man, and also is, for a man to wear that which pertains to a woman.

This is true, however when the surrounding verses ( and some prayer ) are also taken into consideration, the impression I get is if a military man dressed as female to deceive and get away from combat, or a woman dressed as male to deceive and enter combat.

Also this is part of moses' laws and I feel I am not under these laws anymore.


My wife is seeing a councilor at our former church and he has helped her understand crossdressing. I think the important thing is the quality, and professionalism, of the individual councilor.

[Amanda22]

And my second Christian counselor, convinced me to come clean to my wife, show her my dress stash and then to purge my stuff.

...as though "purging your stuff" would "cure" you! In my opinion, advice such as that is a demonstration of an utter lack of understanding.

[DonniDarkness]

Ok gg's you read it... purge all your jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, boyshorts, and all other adopted fashions of clothing (j/k) :heehee:

But dorylinn is correct!!


This is true, however when the surrounding verses ( and some prayer ) are also taken into consideration, the impression I get is if a military man dressed as female to deceive and get away from combat, or a woman dressed as male to deceive and enter combat.


To the original postee:
Some will take this scripture very literal and relate it to any situation they feel justifies their perception of crossdressing.

These people are the ones who will try to tell you that it is wrong and you should feel guilty about it. However dressing to deceive others for your own personal gain is this "gray area" ministers speak of.

Also, if you are already seeing a christian counselor, you should make mention of your crossdressing, the worst that could happen is that you have to find a new counselor. But, no matter what the counselor says about it, you have the freewill to wear what you wish, God does not judge based on our attire or fashion sense.

also, lets think about historical garments from that era.....yup all dresses....and even men in skirts.....

Son of Missionaries,
-Donni-

[christine55]

I have been struggling with this issue for many years. Like has been mentioned counselors differ in their opinions of crossdressing. Who do you listen to? A fellow church member once asked me to try to "bring God along when I crossdress". Also remember that it says in the Bible that the "letter kills but the Spirit gives life"
I still struggle but I do not believe that crossdressing in itself is a sin, but the social stigma, spiritual guilt, isolation, secrecy, lying to the wife etc. can be or can cause us separation from God which can cause us to ignore God alltogether, which will cause much misery. Watch out for folks only worried about other peoples sins and not their own.
Too many people reject Christ because of this issue.
Hugs, Christine

[Pythos]

If you talk to or read biblical scholars when it come to Deut 22.5, it is not an unknown FACT that this passage is entirely miss translated. Words have been entirely taken out of context and has nothing to do with what is considered modern day crossdressing.

In those studies you will learn that Conversation was the term for "sex", and Intercourse was the term for "conversing".

Before you beat yourself down about what you do, have a gander at the research that has been done concerning 22.5, along with many other Mosaic laws. There has been much miss translation done.

[VikkiVixen7188]

God doesn't care what you wear, he cares about what you do and how you treat people.

[Barbara Dugan]

My counselor is a Christian type of counselor I really like her..she had hinted the importance of religion a few times but never on a pushy way more like a way to get better:)

[Pythos]

But when you have places like this, that have NON- biblical Scholars using the commonly available translations, the decks are stacked against us

http://bible.cc/deuteronomy/22-5.htm

By the way, where in nature is the male never allowed to be "soft". And how in the heck does a man being "soft" hurt anyone, opposed to being a battle hungry and Blood thirsty monster?
My readings of Christ make him out to be a very soft and kind person, except when it came to money changers in the temple :)

[Stephenie S]

I thought we were talking about Christianity. That was the subject of the OP.

Delving into the Old Testament has NOTHING to do with Christianity. The words and teachings of Jesus Christ are in the New Testament. The Old Testament is the Jewish part of the Bible. And one of the problems with the Old Testament is that it's OLD. When you try to apply stuff from the Old Testament to modern life, you run into all KINDS of problems. There are many other things said in Deuteronomy that you just can't apply now. Was your friend wearing a wash and wear shirt when he told you you couldn't crossdress? That's fabric made from two different yarns (another no-no in Deuteronomy).

I think the point was made well earlier in this thread when someone said God (or Goddess, in my case) doesn't care what you are wearing. He/She cares what's in your heart. And I don't think you need to worry about "bringing God along" when you crossdress. He/She is already there. Duh.

Stephie

[Kiera79]

You find one and I will stop dressing. BTW, Good luck."

Deuteronomy Ch. 22 Vs. 5 reads as follows (A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment, for whosoever doeth these things is an abomination unto Jehovah thy GOD.) Now stop dressing and look up the verse. LOL!!!!

[Nigella]

This is not the religious forum, if you want to discuss where transgenderism and any form of religion fit together, apply to join the religious forum and take it up there.