You look very pretty daddy :)

[LitaKelley]

My 4yr old daughter is accustomed to seeing me in female attire lately since I've gotten into the habit of putting on a skirt after waking up instead of shorts or pants and would get my coffee, etc while in a skirt and t shirt. (convenient and possible because I work at home.. I'd then work for a few hours dressed like this til I have to go outside to feed the farm animals)

I've also been to bed in lingerie, sometimes with stockings, so, since she is always up before I am, she sees me as I get out of the bed. She's never commented on anything nor ever asked about anything except the stockings she asked "how come your socks are see through".

Last night I let her see me with my wig on and since she was not alarmed by it, I thought it was ok for her to see me like this again.

Tonight, I could not suppress nor hold back the urge to dress and I come out in front of my daughter fully dressed and my hair was in pigtails. My daughter said "you look very pretty daddy" and afterwards she wanted to put on her play dress up princess heels, put her own hair in pigtails and walk around the house with me clicking our heels across the kitchen floor.

It was fun walking in heels with my daughter, lol

My wife suggested I do not reveal my CD with her, however, I feel differently about this and think it's better she knows so that it does not become a problematic issue for her later and if I decided I want to go 24/7 as a woman, then I need to get my daughter used to seeing me like this.

I have asked my daughter how she feels about daddy being a girl and she says "I want you to be a boy" so I had to tell her "I'll always be daddy, and of course I'm a boy, but what if daddy wants to dress up, be pretty and look like a girl.. I'll still be your daddy and be the same person, just dress different and wear pretty things, and of course have this beautiful long hair".. All she had to say to that was "I like your pretty hair daddy"

Is it wrong for me to expose my 4yr old daughter to my crossdressing?

[DonnaT]

I don't think it's wrong. As mentioned in Kimberly's thread, the younger the better.

However, don't make promises of remaining a boy, if you are entertaining the thought of transitioning.

[t-girlxsophie]

no I dont think it is wrong,each one of us has to look at our own situation and act accordingly,You did what you felt was the right thing for you and your Daughter none of us are in any position to criticise.Also its better it comes from you rather than she heres about it from someone else or finds out by accident.I hope things continue to go well for you with your daughter

:hugs:Sophie xx

[5150 Girl]

@ 4, she has yet to develop a scense of "proper gender roles"
By exposing her now it will all be perfectlt natula to her later in life

[G.Grace]

I think that it is a terrific idea that you are exposing her to different ideas.

[Sedona]

I'm curious what your relationship is with your wife. Are you separated? Does she live at home? If so, it sounds like she's just "suggesting" and not adamant about your not dressing in front of your daughter. If she doesn't put up a fit, go for it. Nothing wrong with it, but just know that your daughter will blab to her friends, teachers, strangers. It's just what little kids do.

Good luck!

[Elizabeth Martin]

Lita, I have to say if I was your wife and you told our 4 yr old without discussing it with me first, I would feel betrayed and angry.

You stated she suggested that you not tell her and you did it anyway. That's a huge thing and one that deserves both parties involved.

Just my opinion.

Elizabeth

[Krysta]

I think it is cool, its a touchy subject for sure, alot of people would disagree. That is the one thing about CD'ing that drives me crazy is the lies, secrecy, hiding, deception. at least you arent doing these things with your daughter. You get the 'Krysta's pretty pink brass balls award' for being open to your family. I dont have the guts to be out to my family. Hopefully your daughter will lack descrimination in the future due to your actions. Stay strong girl.

[Kathryn Martin]

Lita, I must agree with Elizabeth on this one. Communication with spouses is, especially at the beginning of your journey a very fragile thing. When she communicated to you that she felt the child should not be told, it was clear that it was an issue. By completely ignoring her wishes without first having come to a resolution on the issue (you say you disagree with her on this) you have now pulled the child into a debate between your wife and you that needs to be had before anyone does anything with it. It was, in my view selfish, born out of pink fog, without regard to the consequences. You have in other places here mentioned that you are concerned about your workplace and your life in general with regards to those aspects where you have to present as male. This is especially true if your child will now possibly tell others (family, friends etc.) and will potentially be exposed to ridicule because her daddy is a girl. These things need to be well considered and really be agreed to between the parents.

Maybe you need to reconsider?

I wish all the best with this and hope it will work out for you.

Love Kathryn

[Marissa]

Lita, forgive me if i'm wrong, but i seem to remember a thread or two of yours in reference to your wife having some drinking and adapting to you dressing issues..to a point that it was cruel and verbal abuse.. again, if i'm wrong, i'm sorry..

Taking a lesson from Kimberly who regretted telling her daughter without first discussing it with her wife..you may have made the same mistake.

We all (okay..maybe most or some is best used) want everyone around us to accept, even the children.. but we really need to think this out and see who else shoud be a part of the discussion and what might come of it as the children interact with others.

I know of someone who told her school aged daugher..who told a school friend that thought to be trustworthy..but word got out and homelife is interupted.. so we have to really know what will come of it besides our own self satisfactions.. or what we think is best for a child..even as parents.. its not 100% fail safe..

Hugs,
Marissa

[Rogina B]

Three school years ago,my daughter was asked in school if anyone at home had a" collection"..they must have meant stamps,trains,coffecups,etc. She proudly told the class that her Dad collects tights and has lots of them in different colors!! Time goes by and things aren't a big deal,I only wear male clothes to go to work....No harm done.

[Joanie_Shakti]

Three school years ago,my daughter was asked in school if anyone at home had a" collection"..they must have meant stamps,trains,coffecups,etc. She proudly told the class that her Dad collects tights and has lots of them in different colors!! Time goes by and things aren't a big deal,I only wear male clothes to go to work....No harm done.

I was thinking that the consequences might be something like this. The daughter meaning well and not knowing any better, might share the information with others. "My daddy has a dress just like that!"

Kids say the darndest things. I was at lunch once with a coworker who had brought her four year old daughter with her. The woman is really cute, but is a little large in the bottom half of her body. We were talking and my friend said something about going straight home. Her daughter picked up on the phrase and commented on her lunch, "this is going straight to the thighs, huh mommy?" We both ignored the comment but I was smiling inside over what kids pick up.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife suggested I do not reveal my CD with her, however, I feel differently about this and think it's better she knows so that it does not become a problematic issue for her later and if I decided I want to go 24/7 as a woman, then I need to get my daughter used to seeing me like this.

Is it wrong for me to expose my 4yr old daughter to my crossdressing?

Given your other posts where you have stated that your wife has gone off on you about your dressing, then a definitive yes. Right now I think you are getting hard to read. You post more than once about your wife not being accepting and you defy her wishes right here. This is exactly the way to keep her from being accepting. So I don't know what you are trying to do. This kind of behaviour is exactly what can make a wife non-accepting. So is the problem in your marraige her not being accepting enough or are you pushing past her limits and not caring?

Lita, I would really take a step back and look at the situation. If your wife says she is uncomfortable with any part of your dressing, please listen. I am not saying it can't be a discussable point between the two of you, but if she says it breaks a barrier with her, I wouldn't do it. I know there are a lot of things we do with dressing where we may not fully think it out. But now is the time for you to take pause.

Please think about this. I wish you the best. :hugs:

[LitaKelley]

You stated she suggested that you not tell her and you did it anyway. That's a huge thing and one that deserves both parties involved.

Just my opinion.

Elizabeth


Both parties were involved. she suggested I do not.. I disagreed.. it's been a discussion over the last several days. I didn't just go against her wishes... I asked, she said yes.

[donnalee]

Personally, I found your thread very touching, BUT---
If your relationship with your wife should fail, (which seems at least a posibility from your other threads) this could be used as fodder in a child custody dispute. I would advise extreme caution; particularly, beware of any attempts to document your behavior.
Best wishes,
Donna :love:

[Marissa]

Lita, not to make this a big can of worms..i would hope in the future that you give the full details as to what was really discussed so we don't make the wrong assumptions.. you said 'she suggested'..now you say 'she gave approval'.. so its not surprising that not only my response but others stated that you push things in directions which would result in an unhappy marriage..then you come to us and ask us for advice or feedback.. not the case of this thread, but speaking of others.

I don't believe anyone should be in an unhappy, abusive marriage..but be sure you look in the mirror before you paint a picture...

I hope your daughter comes to understand all of this without losing her dad.. in all meanings.. my daughter needs her dad to give a strong shoulder to lean on.. so i wish you luck in that area..and your desires where ever they will lead..

Marissa

[Danni Bear]

Lita,

Letting your child know is important. That being said, I would caution you in what to expect in the future. You have said in numerous posts that you didn't want to be outed. Unfortunately you have now done that to yourself. By telling your daughter at such an early age, she will undoubtly tell her friends. This is something special to her that her friends don't know. This decision not only affects you but also your wife,daughter, and any other family and friends you have.

Danni

[LitaKelley]

Lita,

Letting your child know is important. That being said, I would caution you in what to expect in the future. You have said in numerous posts that you didn't want to be outed. Unfortunately you have now done that to yourself. By telling your daughter at such an early age, she will undoubtly tell her friends. This is something special to her that her friends don't know. This decision not only affects you but also your wife,daughter, and any other family and friends you have.

Danni

Yes, true, however, I'm comfortable with it for the moment because my daughter knows that I'm "dressing as a girl" for Halloween, so, I suppose that's my cover story if I feel I need it.

[ashlylynn]

The SAFE way - the one that will protect her from accidentally outing you and then later paying dearly for it with teasing and
abuse and possible castigation from peers and even other opportunities is to:

- Not dress - but be the one to take her shopping for clothes - so you can experience with her what you missed as a child
( Do her favor and dress her low-key & CLASSY and not too frilly so she doesn't look like a retarded kid, like MOST tranny's look, k? )
.....while still bonding with your daughter and AS A MAN ... so that her thought patterns are not confused as teen or adult
when she is looking for a man who is probably a lot like her dad. ( After years of dating LOOSERS YOU HATE, of course. lol )

- Enjoy the Halloween season! At this time you have an excuse to dress. See how she reacts to it over the years and as
she gets older will be kinda expecting it - and if done right, might even accept/enjoy it - without the other problems above
because she will then be mature enough to handle the secret...even if she does not approve.

Remember, a girls father, present or absent, caring or abussive, involved or indifferent, has an incredible impact on her future.

A year is a long tim to wait for the opportunity, but if you love her and want her to feel like a normal girl (which means she
is going to be insecure an troubled about her own body ANYWAY during her teens ) then she is worth doing it that way.

You won't like yourself very much if you hurt her in the long run, right? Put her first, not you = you win.

BTW - There is nothing better than knowing my dad is Superman. I can't talk to him well (you'll relate better
to your daughter and be compassionate about girly stuff and girly feeling - a great gift ) but I know he's a man's man and
that is really great. So even if he told me now that he was a fag or a cd, I would not care. ( "NOW" )

[erickka]

I think it is a great idea. Kids are very open minded and have not yet developed any opinions, so nurturing an open mind is always a good thing.

[Ana5551]

This is the only thing holding back my transition. My wife and I are divorcing because we no longer have the same priorities. I am receiving full custody of our son, who is 8 months old, so you can guess whose priorities changed. I want to transition and plan on starting HRT by the end of this year. My therapist and another child therapist suggest that if I do this I begin living full time as soon as I can so that my son has no remembrance of me as a male over the long term. What do we tell them happened to their dad? How can you be "dad" as a woman and kids not ask your child questions or be mean in the way children do? Our first responsibility should always be to the welfare of our children, so we must have a plan to handle not only our transition, but also to mitigate what harm comes to our children because of us. So, good luck to all of us with kids...we are going to need it in our closed and fearful society.

[SusieB]

Lita

As one who remains firmly in the closet I admire your courage and your ability to be open. However, your daughter is only 4 and at that age is unable to comprehend why daddy is dressing like a girl. She will tell her friends and they will tease her. Like any parent I am certain that the last thing you want to do is be the cause of any pain and hurt for your daughter. By all means tell her in the future when she can understand and decide which of her friends she should tell, if any. Until that time I strongly urge caution.

[Jamie.cd]

I've been caught out a couple of times by me ex's son. When we were together I would sleep in lingerie. This was fine but unfortunately he would sneak in at night and crawl into bed. He did ask questions but my ex told him in simple words "he likes to dress like a girl" and her son was accepting of this.