The SECRET to PASSING

[ashlylynn]

Ok, this is in response to a GREAT post by another member.
Note I am female (sort f2m) with a longtime male cd friend
who begged me to accompany him out dressed for a long time.

I refused because he did not know how to pass ...it is done quietly.

See ... if he showed-up a Wal-MArt wearing 7" stillettos and fishnets, a rhinestone mini dress and a Vegas showgirl wig and DDD boobs...

... he'd kinda attract attention ... people would look CLOSELY at her/him ... and then they'd KNOW ... so he needed to BLEND IN to avoid that.

PS. Black turtleneck shirts with SMALL boobs are your friend. They cover the apple.
We used a SOFT b-cup bra with two latex gloves 3/4 -filled with water for very realistic boobs!

[bethw]

Great advice Ashly. Too much is too much.

Hugs
Beth

[Freddy12]

I agree. I have gone out shopping a number of times, and hardly ever get a second glance. I'm tall (6'4") and would expect lots of strange glances, but almost everyone is more interested in their own concerns. I try to dress like GG's, although I do prefer wearing skirts and dresses because, in my view, they are more feminine. Anyone can wear pants, but few folks tring to present as a male wear skirts or dresses.

[erickka]

Agreed! To blend is a must to "pass"

[Violetgray]

Well, the boob size thing I find is a delicate balance. You don't want to look like you're pregnant and only your boobs got the memo, at the same time if you go to small it puts the emphasis on your man-shoulders. But yes, smaller that "MY GOODNESS!" is a good thing.

[Chari]

Always try to dress age appropriate (or a little younger) and for the event! Never overdo the makeup, outfits, shoes, or hair - unless that is your intent! Notice what GGs in your area are wearing to find an acceptable style. If you are comfortable and confident in what you're wearing & who you are, it will show. Enjoy your feminine side!

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Do all of us want to blend in ^^? In my case sometimes (besides I am not good enough for it :( ), sometimes not

But what should I do with hair, when trying to blend in, wigs look not natural but receding hairline are also evil :(, tried to comb my hair more to the front, but it was not satisfying.

[windycissy]

You nailed it, less is definitely better and small is beautiful for boobs...I've gone out with several tgirls who invariably get second glances because their racks are freakishly huge, and that second glance can be fatal. Ditto on black turtlenecks, even if you don't have a prominent Adam's Apple, black is very slimming and always in style. Thanks for the great advice!

[sandra-leigh]

See ... if he showed-up a Wal-MArt wearing 7" stillettos and fishnets, a rhinestone mini dress and a Vegas showgirl wig and DDD boobs...

... he'd kinda attract attention ... people would look CLOSELY at her/him ... and then they'd KNOW ... so he needed to BLEND IN to avoid that.

PS. Black turtleneck shirts with SMALL boobs are your friend.

We've had the discussion about appropriate bust size a number of times before. Oversimplifying it a bit, one side tends to say that "anything over a C cup is porn-star boobs or for deliberately attracting attention, no exceptions", and the other side tends to say "Bigger gals may need bigger boobs to look right, but there is no single formula for everyone".


In my case, people do not start to treat me as possibly female until I'm wearing at least 38DD. The most common reaction to my 40G forms is for women to wonder whether my bust is completely natural or if I got implants. "forms" doesn't usually occur to them and a number of them don't believe me about them being forms. When they see me wearing the 40G forms, even without any wig or makeup, their reaction is not "Why the #$@# would a guy have boobs?!": instead their reaction is "Of course he has fair-size natural breasts, but did he get lucky enough to look like that naturally or did he 'polish them off' to look so good?" More than one woman, after finding out that the 40G are forms, has said that I should get implants -- not that I could, but should, because a bust approaching that size "looks right" on me even in guy mode.

For a time earlier this year, I was naturally just a little under 36B; I wore push-up bras and tight shirts -- and no-one at work noticed.

Thus, my experience is that for some of us, B is far too small to "blend" as being female, whereas something even bigger than DDD might blend to the point where women are disappointed to find that your large bust is not permanent.

But that's only for some people, and it is not necessarily related strictly to height or weight or shoulder width. I am told that I have "presence" -- aura, charisma, self-projection, what-ever you want to call it -- such that people perceive and expect me to have a fair-size bust, and a very modest bust is what looks incongruous on me.

[Ruth]

It's good advice about turtlenecks: only thing is, I don't like turtlenecks, and I don't have a prominent adam's apple anyway, so I don't mind showing a bit of neck. But yes, if you want to pass, or something like, you need to dress like the other women out there, and this often means not so femme as you'd like. And the cup size - yes, small is beautiful.

[Rianna Humble]

But what should I do with hair, when trying to blend in, wigs look not natural but receding hairline are also evil :(, tried to comb my hair more to the front, but it was not satisfying.

Wigs don't have to look natural, although they can. My (GG) hairdresser wears wigs almost all the time - in fact when she wasn't wearing one the other day a customer commented on it. So there is nothing wrong in and of itself with wearing a wig. YMMV

[dayna_nj]

We've had the discussion about appropriate bust size a number of times before. Oversimplifying it a bit, one side tends to say that "anything over a C cup is porn-star boobs or for deliberately attracting attention, no exceptions", and the other side tends to say "Bigger gals may need bigger boobs to look right, but there is no single formula for everyone".


In my case, people do not start to treat me as possibly female until I'm wearing at least 38DD. The most common reaction to my 40G forms is for women to wonder whether my bust is completely natural or if I got implants. "forms" doesn't usually occur to them and a number of them don't believe me about them being forms. When they see me wearing the 40G forms, even without any wig or makeup, their reaction is not "Why the #$@# would a guy have boobs?!": instead their reaction is "Of course he has fair-size natural breasts, but did he get lucky enough to look like that naturally or did he 'polish them off' to look so good?" More than one woman, after finding out that the 40G are forms, has said that I should get implants -- not that I could, but should, because a bust approaching that size "looks right" on me even in guy mode.

For a time earlier this year, I was naturally just a little under 36B; I wore push-up bras and tight shirts -- and no-one at work noticed.

Thus, my experience is that for some of us, B is far too small to "blend" as being female, whereas something even bigger than DDD might blend to the point where women are disappointed to find that your large bust is not permanent.

But that's only for some people, and it is not necessarily related strictly to height or weight or shoulder width. I am told that I have "presence" -- aura, charisma, self-projection, what-ever you want to call it -- such that people perceive and expect me to have a fair-size bust, and a very modest bust is what looks incongruous on me.

Im with you there. Im not a big guy, 5'7 140, and the largest I go is 36dd, and im not expert, but ive been doing this for 20 years, since I was 14, and Ive fooled many people in public, even talking to them face to face, and the truth is the average person doesnt know anything about forms. If they see boobs, and the rest looks good enough, they dont think about it.

But when I wear a pair of smaller forms I have, c cup, my shoulders stand out too much. I feel like I have to go for the sexier look to be able to fool people. I dont walk around pushing them out like I do in my pix some here may have seen, they dont look like that when im just walking around or whatever, but they are big enough and I think im good enough in how I dress and do my hair/makeup, and my femme voice that they just really cant tell, but I know if I walk around with b or c boobs they are going to notice my shoulders and it just looks weird.

[Stephenie S]

Hmm. I sure would like bigger titties. But what I got is mine and I like it that way. And really now, I don't think the size of my breasts has ANY bearing on my gender what so ever. That doesn't mean I don't want 'em.

S

[prene]

I would wear maybe my smaller 36DD forms and jeans.
I want to be feminine but I don't need to stick out to far.

Feminine but not to sexy.

[carhill2mn]

Thanks for a helpful post. Over-dressing, too much makeup, etc. are common mistakes made by many CDS when going out in public.

[sandra-leigh]

Hmm. I sure would like bigger titties. But what I got is mine and I like it that way.

I was very thrilled when it looked like I was getting some of my own; I peaked just under 36B, but I know from using a good "add a cup enhancer" that a firm 36C or 38C would have looked marvelous to me. There is a difference between how much I "need" to really feel like I have boobs, vs how much I would like in the low end (not necessarily big but cleavage), vs how much I fancy would look "really good" on me and quite acceptable if I went full time female but would cause social problems while camped in the middle of the road. Knowing the people I work with, I'm pretty sure that if I were to grow out to C cup over time while still presenting androgynous, that they would adapt, but sudden DD or F implants would disturb them unless I went for obvious female presentation.


And really now, I don't think the size of my breasts has ANY bearing on my gender what so ever.

That's a point I disagree on to some extent. When I have my mind wrapped in technical work on the computers, I do not experience much of a conscious sensation of gender. Cold? Hungry? Need to pee? Need to be wearing a skirt? Such things "fall away" until they eventually become pressing concerns. But when I return to the material world again and especially as soon as I think of leaving my solo environment into a common area, then a sense of gender and need to express it returns. I don't put my forms on when no-one can see me and take them off going into public; instead, if for some reason I took my forms off (e.g., concern that my boss would walk in on me) then I often put them back on before going into shared or public areas.

Thus, to me, gender and gender expression are at partly related to roles and the perceptions of other people; I wear what I wear not only because I love the feel of skirts and dresses, but also because I want other people to have visible clues to my feminine aspects and correspondingly treat me more femininely. And in my case, at least, with a face that doesn't look female (though it isn't strikingly male either), the size of my bust affects the degree to which people perceive me as female, and thus affects whether they treat me as female or male.

I have a lot of experience going around in B-ish cup, D-ish cup, large-DD-ish cup, and G-ish cup. Basically strangers do not start to treat me as female until I'm in to the large DD. It isn't uncommon for the Cree teenage males around to have larger moobs than my B-ish forms; unless I put on a tight woman's sweater, B-ish gets ignored as being "male" unless the other clues consistently deny "male".

There is internal gender that does not change, but there is also gender that is constructed or reinforced through interaction with other people.

[Stephenie S]

Sorry sweetie, this may be true for you, but it DEFINITELY ain't true for me. My gender identity is NOT pegged to the size of my titties (which are on the smallish side). Braless, I am a large A. I wear a 38B because the A bras have the cups too close together for my frame. Women have all different size boobs, hon. It's not the size of my boobs that identifies me. It's what's inside. I know I am female. It shows. I could go braless (I do in summer) and be JUST as much a girl as you in your 40Gs.

[Fab Karen]

Yeah, some CD's attitude about boobs reminds me of the kids in the movie "Wierd Science" designing a girl on their computer ( rent it if you want a laugh ).
Some are clueless about having obvious beard-shadow, & eyebrows like Brezhnev.

If you have moved beyond the location of another person, you passed.

[dayna_nj]

Sorry sweetie, this may be true for you, but it DEFINITELY ain't true for me. My gender identity is NOT pegged to the size of my titties (which are on the smallish side). Braless, I am a large A. I wear a 38B because the A bras have the cups too close together for my frame. Women have all different size boobs, hon. It's not the size of my boobs that identifies me. It's what's inside. I know I am female. It shows. I could go braless (I do in summer) and be JUST as much a girl as you in your 40Gs.

I noticed you are very condecending and cranky when you talk to people. You've done it to me, I see you doing it to others. Everyone is different. Noone cares about what boobs you think you have, that other girl was just innocently sharing what she likes, you dont have try and reassure yourself by jumping all over someone that did nothing to you.

If you want to blend in, that's wonderful, if someone wants to stick out like a porn star, guess what, they can do that too. Go to any club in any city, there are actually women that look like that everywhere, they actually exist. Go take a look at pix of Denise Milani if you think I or this other girl, or anyone else looks ridiculous. Some prefer to look like that, others like the plain jane look, both are fine, you seem to have an issue with people that arent like you.

Do me a favor and dont respond to any of my posts ever. I dont associate with people that are immature and nasty to me or anyone else. And I wont respond to any of yours, deal?

[msginaadoll]

There is definitely some validity in the original post. Anything that makes u stand out in the crowd means u are less likely to pass. Even things such as a skirt or dress when others are mainly wearing pants can. That said I do like wearing what I think I look good in and makes me feel happy and feminine. If that messes up my passability so be it. Theres nothing wrong with standing out in a crowd as long as you are ready for the reactions and consequences.