Getting laughed at sucks

[Leggy Ashley]

Hi girls,

So I am on the second leg of my road trip to Virginia. I found this awesome spa in Charlotte that was very friendly so I got my eyebrows done a pedi and a set of acrylics done. Moving along in my trip I was laughed at by about three girls at the gas station, then as the girl at mcdonalds was giving me my food she broke out into a very loud rude laugh. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I still suck at make up. Kinda down right now. Hey any of you girls live on i85 between Charlotte and Richmond and wanna lend a makeup hand???? ;)


Kisses,
Ashley

[sophieporter]

I've had people, namely 3 girls, yell at me across a square before, at night. Took them to task for it, told them off properly, stupid cows.

Then I've had 'tranny' yelled at me across the street by chavs. Didn't take them up on that one, didn't fancy getting knifed.

But yeah, I think the trick is to let people know this shit is not ok. Provided you know you're not going to be killed for it.

People need to know this isn't ok.

[Veronica 1]

It does suck to get laughed at but try not to let it get to you. I have been laughed at but I usually just turn towards the heckler and blow them a kiss or just wiggle my butt at them. I try not to lower myself to their level and just look at it that I made their day. As Sophie stated you can retort and argue with them but who knows when they are going to reply with violence. Three girls with nail files can be as bad a a punk with a knife. Stay pretty but stay safe.

[Kari Lynn Franks]

ive been laughed at in storesand I have found that dressed up as Carrie I have more confidence and hold my head up more than I do as FrankI have found myself just looking right at them and giving them a great big smile and sometimes I wave too and just keep going you will get the hang of it good luck
huggs Carrie

[Holly]

Maybe it sucks a little. But isn't it much better, being out there, living your dream instead of wishing your life away? The Truth is the laughers of the worlds usually have no dreams and therefore don't understand those of us who do. Have fun, but please, keep yourself safe. Ignorance can sometimes breed hostility.

[Sarah Michelle]

When you choose to cross border, as wide or blurry as it may be, from acceptable/normal to highly visible minority, you have to expect all of the things that visible minorities have always endured. Mockery is one of the tools that small minds use to reassure themselves that their world is secure. I'm in a dark place these days so my comments may be sharp, but really, what did you expect? My insides tighten up every time I venture out en femme but I still do it because it makes me feel whole. I don't like being ridiculed but it hasn't stopped me yet.

[AlysonCD]

Hell, it just sucks getting laughed at period. Dressed or not

[Rogina B]

Have a thick skin and let it roll off like water from a duck's back. Part of being out and about.Smiling back at them may defuse them.Fighting is not worth doing at all.

[dayna_nj]

Yeah you cant let this get to you. Life is too short to worry about it. The fact is what we do is very weird to most of the world, it will always be that way. A man dressing up as something he is not will never be considered normal, so you just have to ignore it and life your life the way you want.

[Stephenie S]

Yes. Your best weapon is your smile. I call it my s**t eatin' grin. A smile signals that you are happy and pleased with what you are doing. It disarms all but the most inhumane (and you're not gonna get away from them no matter WHAT you are wearing). A big smile and a friendly wave and move on. Keep moving.

I begin EVERY social interaction with a big smile. And keep smilin'.

Stephie

[Christy_M]

Maybe I have been too naive, I wouldn't have considered this a possibility. As a big burly man, I wouldn't get laughed but I could see now how Christy could get laughed at for looking like a big burly man in a dress. This post probably set back my confidence a smudge...

[LitaKelley]

I haven't been out in public CD yet, I wanted to go out some time soon too, cause Halloween is just too far away, and will be colder... I suppose I can count on getting laughed at, even if I blend in. :(

[Chickhe]

One thing I learned from CDing in public is to be prepared for anything. People laugh because they are nervous, so if they laugh at you the best response is kindness and humor. Try, obviously looking behind you, at your shoes and say, 'did I step in some gum?' or something? But, you have to show confidence and don't let them know their actions have upset you, you don't want them to feel they have any power over you. If it is safe, you may be able to ask them what shocked them and then you know what you can improve.

[Steph.TS]

I've never gone out as a CD yet, I'm sure it'd be a liberating experience, and I envy you girls that do that. I'm deeply afraid of judgement from my family, friends, and total strangers, Chickhe you say to pull off the 'kindness and humor' tactic we need confidence, well speaking for myself I have none, if I went outside I'm afraid I'd stick out like a sore thumb and be the butt of jokes, this thread is good in that it puts this issue out there so we can discuss it.

does anyone know how can CD/TG/TS have confidence to deal with this ridicule or mocking?

[7sisters]

Veronica 1 I love your approach. Humour is so disarming.
My ex who CDed had a mom who said a very wise thing: 'When people laugh, they only show their teeth!' Sometimes it can be embarassing for the viewers so they laugh.

[Asako]

I've been laughed at and harassed all through my school years because I never "fit in" in any manner. Ashley, remind yourself of the happiness CDing brings you and then smile knowing that you have two special somethings that those laughing people don't. What could it possibly be? Confidence in yourself to go out dressed and the happiness that comes with it. Don't let a few laughing fools who don't understand us or what we are rain out your happiness.

@Jen:
That's...a good question. I'm very confident in myself but I don't know where it comes from. Yay, another topic for me to ponder tonight.

[Chickhe]

Well, you have to accept who you are first, then accept that you are different and you are a CDer and that there is nothing wrong with that (if you happen to pass, that's a bonus). Then you go about your business as if you belong and there is no reason anyone else should object. Go out feeling like you are hiding and sneaking around in the shadows will only re-enforce people's belief that you are doing something wrong.

[NoraTV]

I lived in Virginia for about 10 years. That state has some of the most beautiful people on this planet and also some of the stupidest rednecks that anyone could imagine. I am so sorry that you had to deal with the latter.

[RachelPortugal]

It happened to me in a French hypermarket earlier this year. Two girls giggling rather than laughing, but following us around the store. I just ignored their silliness, but my wife wanted to say something. Thankfully she speaks very little French and I told her that it was not bothering me. After a direct smile at the girls, they left us in peace.

As the old saying goes: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

Just smile at these ignorant people and get on with enjoying life.

[t-girlxsophie]

These morons are waiting for a reaction,when that reaction is to show that their abuse isn't getting the desired effect,their tiny minds will most likely implode,and they will scurry off and get drunk or whatever they do mumbling to themselves about "that $%£&*$% tranny" And us? well we will go on our way,head held high like it never happened,secure in who we are and what we are doing with our lives

:hugs:Sophie xx

[pernille d]

i remember the very first time i was out walking in the bar area of the city at night 3 young girls sat in doorway drinking beers saw me comming and started to laugh. " dont panic" i thoughty and i kept walking and as i passed them .I passed them then stopped, turned arround walked back to them and started talking to them .I sat with them on the step for 15 or so minutes where we talked and at the end when i left had a very different idea of me and they thought i was actually ended up saying they thought i was quite cool. I still did knot know why i did what i did. I think i treated the unexpected with the unexpected .

But lets face it people laugh as they 1, they are embarraced that someone is bold enough to express who they are openly . 2, Ignorance and miss understanding , 3, basically they have no idea of how to react when they see something different ( so attack is the best form of defence).

this puts it into persepective quite quickly
" you laugh at me as i am different but i laugh at you because your all the same "

[crusadergirl]

Its not cool to be laughed at my friends do it all the time when i dress up. They think everything i do is a joke like i'm trying to be funny. Don't let it get you down u will be fine. Much love

[Jonianne]

Ashley, some of us are very sensitive and it does feel devistating when someone laughs like that. In Virginia Beach I had some jerk stand and laugh at me in derision as I walked by. It was winter and I was very conservativly dressed, so it wasn't like I was putting myself on display.

I don't know what the answer is, because some of us will never have thick skin, it's just not our nature. But, do keep your head up and feel confident in knowing that you belong in your cloths, no matter what others may think and don't let a few bad experiences keep you down.

[Freddy12]

Being laughed at is a real downer. It has happened to me only once, and I felt awful. Having said that, I soon realized that the reaction was not my problem, but their problem. I decided it was not going to keep me from expressing my feminine side. I guess, in part I do care what other people think, but I am getting over that . . . slowly

[Tina B.]

Sorry you had to endure jerks, unfortunately the world has more jerks, than Cd's. While many of the things said here, about being laughed at on the street are things you can't do much about, The girl behind the counter isn't something you can find a way to get some good out of it for everyone. Write an email to the corporate office, I'm sure the address will be easy to find on line, tell them how you where treated by one of there employees and where you where. No name of the girl is needed, if they know the whole community has heard, and they get enough responses, maybe they will start a sensitivity training program for there employee's, other company's have done it. And it will give back a sense of power to you.
Tina B.

[MarcieBflo]

Sorry you had to put up with it also, I don't think we will be accepted any time soon. I have only been "heckled" once, On Fremont st. in Vegas, as it got later and I'm sure booze played a part, a group of guys started yelling shit at me. I was with a black GG which probably didn't help.

Hang In Their,
Marcie

[Michelle James]

Five minutes ago I was full of confidence, and now? Wow not so much!!

[Rachel Morley]

I know how it can feel :sad: I've never been laughed at (yet) when fully dressed, but I often wear fairly girly clothes in a femme boy mode and when I do I sometimes wear eye makeup and nail polish too.

I was at a supermarket about 6 months ago and I was dressed this way that day. I was getting a couple bottles of wine and was standing in line for the checkout. There were two teen girls in line in front of me. I know they saw my fingernails and the way I was dressed etc as they kept looking at me and giggling and whispering to one another. At first felt a little embarrassed and started to wish I wasn't standing there, but then I told myself (rightly or wrongly) .... "Don't worry about it, they're young, naive, and they're not used to seeing a guy wearing girls clothes, subtle makeup and nail polish." I just smiled and forgive them. :)

[Leggy Ashley]

Woo hoo done in Virginia. Third leg of the trip hope to make it to Mississippi tonight. Back in Texas tomorrow. Can't wait to Be back in a part of the country that is a little more understanding. Should be on I 20 headed acroos soon.
God I am glad to have you guys to cheer me up. Love you all.

Kisses,
Ashley

[Kate Simmons]

Hmm, Must have been a slow day of texting for the moppets.

[Leggy Ashley]

What does that mean???

[Loni]

it is a sad thing to say about our younger generations that they just do not understand courtesy.
but there are ways to get back at them..in a good way. just do not let it get you down, in some cases just cause you do not respond you win. they loose. they are embarrassed in front of there peers, and others. as for the clerk at the fast food place if i were the manager your meal would be free and the clerk would have a couple days off work to think about what she did.
and no i am not a pc person. just believe in doing what is right.

.

[Presh GG]

Yes, I agree it must hurt! And you bet I'd report her !
So where to go from here ?

This forum and many sites on the net have great makeup advise.
Maybe join a tg club that has "makeup fairs" and such. Perservere, you will learn and they won't.

Now, what were you wearing ?

All the best,
Presh GG

[Leggy Ashley]

Presh, you make my day. What am I wearing well right now because of the road trip just a very comfortable sun dress and sandals and my jewelry. You girls are all amazing I love you all. Thanks for putting up with my dingy self.

Kisses!!

[Jason+]

Luckily for me getting laughed at about something was a daily way of life from about kindergarten until they burned out my care meter around ninth grade or so, and well before any of this came into any sort of visibility. I would rather the honest laugh than the sideways looks and the whispers. I've been guilty of telling more than a few to go ahead and laugh it's more honest and that if I had a problem with how I was I wouldn't have left the house that way.

[Fab Karen]

Look around. If the confederate flag is flying, be very careful if you HAVE TO be there.
Such morons are wanting a reaction. Ignore them, and know that at least one of them will be searching the internet one-handed late at night for pictures of us.

[Rogina B]

One confidence builder is....Go out the door,drive to a busy Walgreen,CVS,etc and go right in.Check your look in the many mirrors at the ends of the isle. Step into the line and proudly pay for your little purchases. It will go smoothly,and without embarrassment. Walk back out the door proudly,and go about your fun as planned...I call it a little tune up session.

[DianeDeBris]

Pernille wrote: "You laugh at me as I am different but I laugh at you because your all the same." This is absolutely wonderful - thanks so much! Hugs - Diane

[AKAMichelle]

I have had people make a small scene before but it is part of the journey. Hold your head high and keep going. You get better with practice. Remember teenage girls can look stupid and ridiculous and nobody cares because they are experimenting. Unfortunately we are expected to do makeup perfectly the first time. It doesn't happen so just keep going and working on your look. Over time you will notice some big changes.

[Terri Andrews]

As others have said ,it really hurts to be laughed at ,but Please keep going out and enjoy being who you are .It takes more courage to walk out the door than it takes to laugh at someone .

[JenniferR771]

Rogina has a good idea! Yes! Wait until you are feeling somewhat confident. Rehearse a few good lines. Grab a friend or wife, and go out, and actually try to get laughed at. The mall. CVS. Gas station. Park. Busy street. Quiet bar? Walmart.

I am thinking you will be surprised at how often you are well-treated. But maybe your town is different.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

I don't know, sometimes people laught to express a distance to something or to try to save their opinion of the world. Normal and self-consious people normaly do not care that much.

Just the other way around: I had a dress in my arm and was going to the cabin at a store, a sales lady passed me, and I did not know what to do and was really insecure. I only laughed and continued. I did not planed to laugh and I felt totally stupid afterwards.

Maybe the best is to join the laughing and look how the other one reacts (when crossdressing, I totally understand people laughing at me ^^). Ok when done in a 100% mean way, it is ugly.

[Gerrijerry]

simply said yes it hurts. There were several good ideas. You can just move on. You can stare at them. you reply but in the end most don't really care if they hurt our feelings. I am not sure there really is an answer for people who hurt us that way other then to just move on and understand and accept yourself the best you can. The person you are inside is what is important keep her happy. when she smiles one day the world may smile with you.