More of a girl

[SusieB]

My SO is a wonderful careing and loving person but could never be described as a "girly girl". Yesterday was our anniversary and we were getting ready to go out to dinner. I was ready of course but T was taking her time. All of a sudden I heard a commotion in the bedroom and went to investigate. T was removing polish from her left hand (she is left handed). When I asked what was wrong she announced in frustration that she had made a mess of polishing her left hand.

I asked her if she needed help and to my great surprise she said yes. When I finished she looked at her nails, then me and said "excellent, sometimes I think you are more of a girl than me". As she walked away I could see in one of the mirrors that she had a big smile on her face. I felt great. We had a wonderful evening and the matter was not raised again.

This morning I awoke with a deep feeling of paranoia. Does she know, does she suspect. Any attempt I have made in the past to hint at my CDing has been met with derision, to such an extent that I am very very afraid to go there. Am I reading too much into this incident?

[Freddy12]

It's hard to say. Can you ask her what she meant? Being direct might yield interesting results. If she knows, perhaps she is opening the door a bit.

[Shelly Preston]

Susie

There is no way you will know if she suspects from one comment
Have you had any other clues she may suspect

[Tina B.]

Hints in the past, great job with nail polish (that's a hard one to master), just what makes you think she is clueless? People say mothers see everything, and a teenage girl will clock us every time, just about, and they all learn to do that sort of thing practicing to be somebody's wife! She may not know what, but she knows there is something there, thats why the big grin. IMHO
Tina B.

[Billijo49504]

Well, from what you said, she knows that this isn't your first rodeo....BJ

[crossdrezzer1]

next conversation say to her,,, glad I could help with the polish thingy and would like to sit on the couch during a cuddle sesion and do your nails and mud mask,, she will love it,,, and after that tell her tomorrow we are going shopping for a lovely outfit for you dear,,,, you will be in heaven and she will also... thats step one for her to invite you to cd... and for her to think of you as her BFF...

[MiamiMarie]

Based on such limited information, if I had to guess, I would say she probably has no idea that you are a CDer. She probably feels fortunate that you were able to use your good/dominant hand, or both hands to polish her nails when she was unable to. Made a joke about it and smiled to go on an enjoy a lovely evening.

A woman who knows you've been harboring a major secret from her would not likely be so casual and smile genuinely on an anniversary (I assume you've been with her at least a year?), a day when a lot of women take stock in their relationships. Unless it was a tense, awkward smile indicating that you have a long conversation ahead of you, and she just didn't want your secret to ruin her evening.

I may be interpreting a bit much here, but I am a GG who's man thought he'd dropped many hints about his CDing. I made jokes like that to my husband to tease him - to get a rise of someone I thought was very manly. But truly, I had no clue.

I can say that most women do not imagine their men to be CDers unless really obvious (she caught you in her clothes or on this web site) hints are made. Most women would not make that quantum leap in thinking just because their man likes to shop, or that he has a steadier hand for applying nail polish.

Has she seen major hints before?

[SusieB]

Marie - We have been together for 33 years. Yes of course you are right, I am paranoid (I think). The issue has not been raised since and the chill pill is starting to work.

I recently spent three hours shopping with her and afterwards told her I enjoyed it. She looked at me as if I had ten heads!! I dont think the mud mask idea would work, if I made that suggestion I might be the one wearing it, probably on top of my head.

[ReineD]

This morning I awoke with a deep feeling of paranoia. Does she know, does she suspect. Any attempt I have made in the past to hint at my CDing has been met with derision, to such an extent that I am very very afraid to go there. Am I reading too much into this incident?

I agree with Marie. Maybe it's hard for CDs to imagine this since many are proccupied with hiding their natural tendencies, but there are guys out there who have an understanding and appreciation of women's issues, and these men are not TG! The sweetest husbands are the ones who like to cook, enjoy shopping with their wives, enjoy decorating the home, get teary eyed while watching a chick flick, will sit down with their little daughter to have a tea party, will kiss a child's hurt knee, will not hesitate to help their wives get ready if she is rushed (whether this means ironing a blouse or helping with the nail polish). :) My ex was like this and there are others like him.

I've always assumed these men felt secure enough in themselves to move beyond what most people think men *should* and *should not* do.

I also think it is your own paranoia (as you put it :)) that tells you your wife would not be open to the idea that you CD. Think about this. :hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

I like the direct approach idea. Just ask her.

[JenniferR771]

Miami is right. She probably has no clue. Send up a trial ballon . Test the water without exposing yourself--chances are she has not changed.

[Miss Lisa]

I think she may know. Although my wife knows my teenage daughter has never been told but is always dropping remarks about me being a crossdresser, more so because of my panties in the wash and my constant need to be fully shaved and of course me getting my belly button pierced created more than a few comments from her. I came out to my wife a month after I started dressing and although she hasn't warmed fully to me cding she has been amazingly understanding. Maybe you should be honest with your SO and then you won't have to be guessing so much. After all the makings of a great relationship is communication and honesty. Just my two cents.

[kimberlyklark]

hun she knows you should probaly find out there will be a whole new world for you if she wants to help you

[Starling]

My gosh, Reine, why on earth is that lovely-sounding man your ex? I guess it just goes to prove that marriage is the hardest thing in the world...next to parenting.

:heehee: Lallie

[KarenCDFL]

Sounds to me that your wife has a pretty good idea.

You may want to continue papering he, maybe by doing a pedicure and such stuff.

Whether she lets on on or not, she will love it anyway!

[GingerLeigh]

I do my wife's toe nails all the time, heck I even shave her legs for her. We make a hot tub night of it. She says funny little things that make me think she knows, then goes off in another tangent making me think she's oblivious. Just yesterday I had a pimple in the middle of my chest (odd place) and she said it must be from my bra. I told her to stop buying underwire bras, which earned me a strange look. Coincidence? Perhaps, but then again maybe she knows.....

Ginger

[Jeanna]

When I finished she looked at her nails, then me and said "excellent, sometimes I think you are more of a girl than me".

You could have replied "Why do you say that dear?" and then the interesting conversation would have started....

[SusieB]

Thanks everyone. Now Im really confused. After the first few posts I was sure it was just my imagination, but now I'm panicked. Reine, thank you for the kind words and I will think about what you say. However, you should remember that Freud once said "the paranoid man is seldom completely wrong".

[DonnaT]

Why panic or be paranoid?

If she doesn't know, no big deal, nothings changed.

If she knows and hasn't said anything derogatory, so much the better.

Think of it as your own personal inside joke, and enjoy yourself. If she makes little comments like she did, smile and enjoy them.

No need to pursue the matter. Shake the hornet's nest - get stung.