I find cross dressing harder to give up then i thought

[Tiffanycd]

Hi all i am sort of a old member coming back i am finding it harder to give up then i thought has anyone else gone though the mood swings i am finding that when i try to give it up i get edgy and when i wear at lest hose and panties it's like Doctor jekyll and Mr hide.thanks and i am sorry i keep trying to vanish i am also grateful i have a wonderful supportive girlfriend (gg) in my life.


Tiffanycd

[Delenn]

I think most CD's have mood swings some times, but why you are trying to vanish and give up?? Why not to accept who you really are and let your life be happy, especially with supportive girlfriend?

[Daintre]

I found out very early that when I put Jenni away on the shelf I slowly had this black mood descend on me, I was hard to live with. When Jenni was allowed back, that black mood lifted and I felt so much happier. It showed me that Jenni is an integral part of me and cannot just be cast off.

[Loni]

how can you give up part of your self?
unlike a scuba diver or a stunt pilot. or even a golfer these are learned things, to be a cross dresser is part of how you are wired at birth it is not a learned thing it is you.

some try to put it aside and most with no luck. some get very depressed while trying this. one can not hide from who and what we are, it is always there just can be hidden for a time.

.

[Mistybtm]

I stopped trying a long time ago I also get edgy and moody when i can't dress for a short period of time like if i have people over for a few days. But then after i do dress again i am the same old happy me.:D:battingeyelashes:

[Tiffanycd]

Thank you all so much and i do feel better and it's nice to have a girlfriend that likes the fem side of me. With Halloween coming up around the corner i am finding the urge to really want to get dressed up and really see what i look like fully dressed up.

Tiffanycd

[Delenn]

Good girl, do this step and have fun at Halloween:gfi::heehee:

[Tiffanycd]

LoL i will Thank you i brought up the Halloween idea to my girlfriend and she likes the idea the only thing is we need to find a party to go to lol

[Jenniferpl]

Been there tried that. The challenge is how to live with being a crossdreser without tearing about your life.

[juno]

I am just a moderate crossdresser. I like feminine things in my life, but it does not necessarily have to include crossdressing. But I have no good reason not to. It is a blessing to have something so simple that always puts a smile on your face. There is no reason to stop if you really don't want to. Just learn to balance it with your other relationships, and enjoy it as a good part of your life.

Juno

[Steph.TS]

I started CD'ing when I was 12 - 13 and my parents found out and they made their views quite clear that they didn't approve, and they they thought it was a sin, I stopped CD'ing but not over night, I found myself getting upset having to repress this, anyways it's been my experience you can repress it all you want but it'll come back with a vengeance, several months ago I started wanting to CD again (I'm in my late 20's), and I was fighting the desire, eventually I gave in after joining this site, and I don't think I'll stop again, unless I see that CD'ing is a sin.

[Tina B.]

I'm another, I've stopped dressing only to find I can't live like that, I'm not a very nice person and not fun to be around when I have denied my true self for a long time. I get moody, argumentative, and just a general pain in the tukus (rear end). But I've learned I have no reason to quit, my wife excepts me for who I am, and we get along wonderfully, and neither one of us likes me when I have tried to quit. So I dress regularly, have a large wardrobe that keeps growing, and have enjoyed married life for 40 years. It does not have to be a bad thing. And as far as it being a sin, I feel the real sin is denying who you are, and wasting a life wallowing in misery, when life can be so good if you just be you.
Tins B.

[Mistybtm]

I'm another, I've stopped dressing only to find I can't live like that, I'm not a very nice person and not fun to be around when I have denied my true self for a long time. I get moody, argumentative, and just a general pain in the tukus (rear end). But I've learned I have no reason to quit, my wife excepts me for who I am, and we get along wonderfully, and neither one of us likes me when I have tried to quit. So I dress regularly, have a large wardrobe that keeps growing, and have enjoyed married life for 40 years. It does not have to be a bad thing. And as far as it being a sin, I feel the real sin is denying who you are, and wasting a life wallowing in misery, when life can be so good if you just be you.
Tins B.

wow very well put.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Tiffany,I remember you. I don't like to tell anyone their business but my opinion is that crossdressing can't be abandoned for long. Great to see your name back in the threads. Not to be snide but I hope you have some happy clothes shopping trips coming up.

[Tiffanycd]

Thank you for the welcome back and as bad as i want to i can not stop and to everyone else thank you i think i am here to stay this time i am really looking to make new friends and hopefully ketch back up with old friends.

Tiffanycd

[Karinsamatha]

I can't "give it up" - crossdeessing is so deeply ingrained and a part of who I am. I have found recently that going as little as 3 day's had me miserable, short tempered and such. I don't want to go through that ever again!

[Marissa]

Hi Tiffany, hope you find an event or party to go to all dressed up.. not sure your location but here in Dallas, they have like 2 or 3 weekends of blockparties where people come dressed and there is a fetish party about the same time.. its in the gay/les area so its a free for all.. be amazed how many gladiators and fairies are seen.. :)

yes it is hard to give up..and i do know the jeckel and hyde feeling.. i was just telling my youngest daughter that today.. her routine sometimes dictates my dressing..so i was telling her how different i am when dressed.. i smile more.. and if out, i chat more..then in drab.. and i do like it alot..

well good luck in having a great halloween..

Hugs,
Marissa

[Inna]

I honestly think that lobotomy is the only resolution to this problem. I know that Spanish inquisition used to cure people from crossdressing but it involved bondage games that usually ended up in some form of death. Another treatment as I recall was called full transition or something. Well, it is like a shadow, if you don't look down its not there but as soon as you check your new beautiful heels you are wearing it strikes back with the vengeance. Crossdressing is like a box of chocolates, you take only one at the time but soon enough whole box is empty and you still want more! Just make sure the closet is big enough baby!

[Tiffanycd]

Thank you all so much and i will try to i brought the idea up to my girlfriend and she liked it.

Tiffanycd

[AKAMichelle]

How you shelve or put it away when it is deep within you? You can run but you can't hide. It will always be there with you. The challenge is what you do about her.

P.S. Welcome back and this time don't run off. We might not accept you back again. :D

[Tina C3]

Your chocolates analogy was quite apt!

[DeeDee3]

Started at age 10. Now 68, stopped, started, and purged more times than I can count. Very expensive obsession. Finally gave up and tried to accept what I really am. Mentally feeling better with myself in this closet. DeeDee

[Alice Torn]

Coming from an alcoholic family, and going through recovery meetings, for decades, I have to be very honest here. Not trying to upset anyone. But, my dad is the kind of alcoholic, that is happy when drunk, and very morose, and miserable all the sober time. I have observed, that many of us cders, are edgy, and unhappy, when not being able to dress. There seem to be similarities. I take it, that cding is our high of choice! Cetainly far less harmful, than alcohol, and drugs! I am not a fan of Holloween, at all, but, it gives some of us shy ones, a chance to get out the door! Last year, I went into severral stores, and shopped, talked with cashiers several times, voluntarily outed myself.

[carhill2mn]

Hi Tiffanny, "giving up cross dressing" has been tried by a great many people. It is generally believed to be impossible. You may be able to curtail your actual dressing for periods of time but the desire to cross dress will never go away totally.
Since your GG is supportive, why would you try to stop? If you accept that you are and always will be a CD you will be a much happier person.

[Elle1946]

Hi! I have seen you here before and YES giving it up is just about impossible. I have tried on several occasions to give up CDing and it did not last more than several months. The emotional problems that I had when trying give it up were than I wanted. As far as I can tell as long as you enjoy it do it.

[CalamityJane]

Giving up CDing is never easy, or possible in my opinion and experience, I started more years ago than I care to remember, and have gone through the phases of thinking that I should stop as opposed to "feeling" that I should stop. Now with the vantage point of hindsight I can see that it was a case of fighting a battle that I would never, or could never win. CDing is a part of the fabric of my life and who I am. With referance to alcohol and the abuse thereof, people tend to chose to drink, I don't know of anyone who is born needing a drink of alcohol, it always starts with them taking the first sip. I on the other hand have had the feeling to CD for as long as I can remember....I don't know many 5 or 6 year olds you feel the need a drink, but many CDer's here, and maybe you have had the feeling since an early age.
I hope that all works out well for you, you have the support of your GG, so if she can accept you for who you are...its time you accepted yourself for who you are.
Best Wishes
Jane

[OccasionalSkirt]

Tiffany, where are you in VA? I'm thinking ahead to Halloween as well.

[jenna_woods]

I think we all have tried to give it up. myself I tried 3 times and now am dressing almost full time, You have to learn who you really are, I did

[Tiffanycd]

Thank you all so much i know why i keep coming back here this site and everyone helps me user stand myself in a way i guess thank you all.

(Occasionalskirt) i am in northern


Tiffanycd

[JulieC]

as bad as i want to i can not stop

Then stop wanting to stop so badly.

One of the hardest things for a crossdresser to master is self acceptance. Yet, it's crucial to our own happiness. If you can't accept yourself, it's unreasonable to expect someone else to accept you.

You are what you are. Society might not want to accept you as you are, but you have no reason to be ashamed of being a crossdresser than you do of having the eye color you do. Society's the one that is messed up, not you. Putting on a pair of pantyhose doesn't violate any laws (at least in the U.S.), and doesn't cause harm to anyone else. Some cultures have viewed transgendered people with reverence. Our society doesn't. Oh well. But, that doesn't mean we have to accept our society's interpretation as the right one, even though we live in it.

It's nice that your girlfriend likes the idea of you dressing en femme for halloween. But, make it clear to her that it's not just a passing fancy, a joke for the holiday. Make sure she understands you are a crossdresser. If she doesn't accept that, then move on.

[Tiffanycd]

Thank you JulieC i think i am coming around to it and my girlfriend is helping me i think she like me dressing more thin i do lol to day she bought me a top jean skirt and a dress and a bodysuit and to be honest she loves the idea i crossdress.
Thank you.

Tiffanycd

[GingerLeigh]

Been there, done that. I cannot give it up and the Lord knows I've tried. Must have thrown out my things a dozen or so times (I never had much stuff anyway). When I try to give it up, the desire seems to amplify as if my "alter ego" for lack of a better expression is fighting back. I get moody, snarky, miserable and basically become an unbearable pain in the behind (a b@#ch). Anyhow, I've stopped stopping. Funny how giving it up would be more of a strain on my family than doing it.

It's better to be a woman than a bear.

Ginger

[Rachaelb64]

I've been thro the cycle aswell, like most here, the best I managed was 18months. Then bang, it came back as strong as ever. These days I just accept who I am, best thing about accepting myself is my depression has faded. Not totaly gone I still get low days but I can cope with those :)

Simple truth, You're who you are :)

[lyta]

Well it seems it has all been said by now -- but I'll just throw in my own "been there done that" too! I am sure some can "quit", i.e. suppress this part of themselves for the rest of their lives, but I still never heard of any such case. Myself, I decided to give up quitting instead.

And I just discovered that I too am blessed with a supporting wife, who strongly states whe wants the full me, not only the part she had seen up until recently.

Hugs & hope to see you a lot more here ;)
/Lyta

[shelly-55]

Totally Impossible! I thought everyone knew that. But if your GF is buying you outfits you should be dancing on moonbeams!!! Goes to show you just don't know what you got till it's gone. Anyway, could be that you need to inform her that this goes in cycles for you and you need her to understand and get in synch with that. Confusing ain't it?

[Samantha_Smile]

I know it's hard trying to quit.
But do you really need to quit?
It's not damaging your health, it's not hurting your home/social life (you mentioned you have a supporting SO), youre commiting no crimes (that you mentioned :P).
So why quit?
If there are deeper reasons for trying to quit ie it causes you to question why you do it, then that's going to take personal meditation or therapy to work out.
You need to find your 'happy place' within your crossdressing and know why you do it, at the very least you should have a good understanding of it.
There are many who do it for sexual kicks, more people still do it as they find that it relieves stress. Some do it to unlock expression of attributes that they otherwise hide, and some do it becuase they want to become female in body as well as mind.
There are reasons I havent even touched upon, but the point is that you need to work out your reason, and investigate it, embrace it and enjoy it.
You wont want to quit if you understand it.

I dont ;)

[Amanda22]

My advice is to direct your energy and effort to learning how you will live with crossdressing rather than removing something that is not removable. If you work on self-acceptance, you might realize that crossdressing is a positive part of your being, and you'll wonder why you ever thought about making it go away. That's what happened to me. Best of luck.

[Ryank]

I am having a hard time quitting too! My wife doesn't support it and she as of now is more important! She does let me wear panties (hate that word) and shave. She used to not mind hose but it has bothered her lately so I haven't. She is letting me shave. I feel horrible about it when I dress and she's not around. I had to throw out everything I had so going full is hard. Luckily I'm not real big and her and I wear the same size clothes. This leaves me without shoes and a wig. I am open with my desires and hoping we can eventually reach a compromise! If any of u ever figure out how to quit lmk!!! Otherwise I'll have to stay in the closet for now!