first date since transitioning

[JenniferZ2009]

Friday night I had my first date with a guy since transitioning and we ending up in bed. He already knew I was trans so there were no surprises. However the sex was not that good and I realized he pulled one of the trickes I used to pull with girls when I wasn't really into it (never really was anyway with girls).

Laid in bed all day yesterday and today manhating with my neighbor. More depressed than usual and he still hasn't texted me yet. He said he might call me Friday. Im convinced he is a losser now. So I ended up losing my virginity again (sorta) and now i think my heart is broken. First time on this side of the isle. Is this what a broken heart feels like??

[AllieSF]

Since it was your first date since transitioning, you must have been really anticipating the outcome. Maybe you just put too much hope into the first guy that he would turn out to be Mr. Right. I would say that maybe you could step back a bit and learn how to date again. Make the first dates casual fun outings that have little chance of ending up in bed. I am far from being a prude when it comes to sexual relations. However, I think that we need to get our feet wet first before diving head first into the deep end. From everything that I have read and heard about TS dating, it is definitely not your normal dating process, unless you luck out and find a very compatible partner in crime. So my recommendation is to go slow, enjoy the fun moments and worry or think about the big score later during the relationship. Good luck and I hope you feel better tomorrow.

[Stephenie S]

Incoming Email.

Stephie

[Miranda09]

Take it to heart Jennifer and just chalk it up to experience. Don't let depression overtake you. you made a mistake, but you're smarter for it. Next time you'll be better prepared...and more successful! :)

[CharleneT]

Can't say how your heart feels, but a broken one does hurt in a way like nothing else. Sorry it sounds like it may have ended ... but it was a start !

:hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

I am a hopeless romantic and I understand your frustration. You are at that stage in your life like when you were teenager. This was your first time and the guy turned out to be a jerk. There are nice guys out there and you will find him. Shake this one off and go on.

[7sisters]

Oh Gosh! I'm a gg... well, men leading me on only to drop me off, happens all the time. It's humiliating and really painful.
The way to get over being given the flick, is to meet your friends, reach out to someone less fortunate and date again. If you sit around thinking and analysing you will only hurt yourself. Just keep your mind busy. He did like you enough to get you into the bedroom. Then he showed you his true colours.
It's his problem. Not yours. Give your self one week to sniffle and feel like the victim. Then go out and reach out to the many people who need your love and attention. Your love is too precious to be wasted on just anyone!!!

[aunifex]

I think you are really brave to have made such a commitment to changing your sex... and that guy is just a jerk. Yeah, go a little slower with these guys, make sure that is a great emotional attachment before you take the plunge... wishing you the best of luck and that you find someone worthy of all that you are.

[Freddy12]

I think it was perhaps too early in the relationship to call it a broken heart. Perhaps horribly dashed great expectations. It still feels awful, and the distinction does not make much difference, but it sounded like this was not a long term relationship, since this was a first date.

[Gerrijerry]

I realize you wanted to go forward with your life to what many call a natural flow. But you did not have the advantage of having a mom telling you about the guys and what most are looking for. A hard lesson yes but now learn something from it. No more sex until there is love. Friendship, love is more important then the sex. Go out with the girls and have fun being what you are a woman. Then after learning to deal with life on a different level from a different point of view then start your dating. Stop the rushing to find Mr right or Miss right for that matter.

[Tracii G]

I sure hope you find the right guy maybe this guy was nothing more than troll.
I have been out with a few and nothing really clicked so never went all the way.Sex is all about love for me.I really have to feel a connection and that does take time.
Even with women I am that way always have been.
Perk up hunny keep looking.

[Ms Jennifer]

I realize you wanted to go forward with your life to what many call a natural flow. But you did not have the advantage of having a mom telling you about the guys and what most are looking for. A hard lesson yes but now learn something from it. No more sex until there is love. Friendship, love is more important then the sex. Go out with the girls and have fun being what you are a woman. Then after learning to deal with life on a different level from a different point of view then start your dating. Stop the rushing to find Mr right or Miss right for that matter.

I agree with Gerri it is a tough lesson but one a lot of us have been thru.Most men think since you are a tgirl that all you want is sex. It goes a lot deeper than that.We need to be loved too.So, wait and do not rush into something you are not ready for.

[JenniferZ2009]

Thank you all for your thoughts. Allot of good stuff on this thread. I just gave my number to this really nice older man at teh store today who I have been talking to forerver. Why cant I stop???

[Ms Deidre]

One's first date is an important step yet sadly many of us gurls have a tendency to make poor choices when it comes to partners and I speak from experience. When I first transitioned I was so grateful that a man found me attractive and sexy enough to take me to dinner, a movie, for a drink, etc. that I was easily lured down the wrong path. Ms Jennifer is correct in saying tht too many men generally assume that because we are transsexuals we are interested in sex more than romance and sadly too many of us have all fallen into that trap. It is not a broken heart JenniferZ that you feel but rather the frustration of having been too easy. I have dated more than a few guys that are like your date and as I have continued down my path I have fortunatly found th strength to say no and you will too. I wish you luck in finding that special guy. I did once but sadly God took him from me, maybe I will find love again someday but until I continue to date.